chinwe11: Thanks for your advices/insults sha. I have read them through, and i have decided to help out. I guess the reason why i had to bring this to NL is because most of my frieds kept warning me before wedding that 'DO NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING DURING THE WEDDING. IT IS THE HUSBANDS RESPONSIBILITY'. Even my relatives said the same thing, that in Ibo land its the man's duty. You get lots of advise from other women, this morning, a friend was telling me that after marriage, you keep your money and spend his, and they say that is what happens in thier homes. When the issue of bringing the 80% came up, i got worried,, cos i felt it would be like i was marrying my self. I have enough money to foot our wedding and even double of that. But was just worried it would be like i was marrying myself, or the man might take me for granted. Also i forgot to add that when i said he should borrow, i planned that we would pay back from my money, so it wont just look like i GAVE him the wedding money. Anyway sha i would bring my 80%.

Thanks for all your advises oh! I would post the wedding pictures here maybe! Thanks

Please chinwe. you are moving with the wrong crowd, you need to unfriend many of these so called women, for all we know, they might not be happy in their marriage.
Let me give you a good example, imagine you are living with your brother and he is you best friend, at the end of the month you bring your money and you both use it to pay rent, feeding and other utilities and when you ask him to take care of some responsibilities ( he is earning quite a sum), he tells you that his earnings are his after all you are older and should be responsible for him especially since your parents spent most money on training you, how are you going to feel
To buttress my point, you also know he is going to live in your house the rest of your life.

If you are not working, that is fine, your husband is meant to bring in all his money and you guys then plan for the family.
but if your working and he is and you are spending just his money, Who are you saving your money for?

I have really learnt a lot from this thread, before getting married, i would have to straighten out all these financial issues and if the chic has this mentality, then its au revoir .

The reason we are having many dysfunctional societies is because women have kept on leaving their roles as the home maker and the home backbone and have decided to turn everything into a competition even their homes in the name of feminism.

And before you cynical feminist turn on me, you need to go back to the beginning to what feminism is, not all the stupid and useless meanings you guys have added along the way to mean feminism.

I think it is a little too early for the poster and her husband to be having money issues.Hell,they aren't even married yet.In this part of the world,both parties "form" until they get married then they bare their fangs.
I want to ask the poster a simple question.Do you really like this guy who is having problems footing the bill for your wedding?I don't mean do you think he is cool.I mean is he ur buddy?Cos if any of my friends male or female had a problem,I would automatically begin to figure out ways in which I could help.If at this stage when u don't yet have any complications like kids,in law wahala,etc u are already fighting turf wars then u two should do each other a big favour and go ur separate ways.We are still Nigerians but things have changed.Why do you think some women have a strong grip of their husbands.Before the man does anything,he asls her first.It is not juju.It is women who have used wisdom in the guise of subservience to dig a deep hole in their husband"s heart.Tomorrow when the guy becomes a minister,the woman who stood by him will virtually be the one deciding official policy from her kitchen.
But this is no place for stories,if you don't feel comfortable spending sme money to support him;rather than pretending,simply take a walk.

chinwe11: Nairalanders, i have some questions oh. I am getting married in August..............my fiance and i are both working, but the house where he is staying now is having some problems, and might fall soon, so the landlord told them all to evacuate so he can renovate. (The rent was expiring in September anyway) My fiance then decided to use part of the money for the wedding to rent a new house for us. The problem now is, after renting the house, he had to do renovations etc, and now the wedding for the money is almost finished to about 20% left. he is now saying shebi i also have money that i should make up the remaining 80%. Please nairalanders what do you think? Is a woman supposed to pay the bulk money for the wedding?



Afterall what plans did he have for rent after the wedding? I told him to borrow money he said no.

clever people in a situation like this would postpone the wedding until they are financially stable. the wedding is a one day thing, and its not worth the stress so it can wait.this is for anyone else who is finding herself in the same dilemma

jaybee3:

Like seriously?