PrettyCindy:
A family man with four children and bills to take care of and still has 6m in his savings account is in my own words "a man with plans".

BlueDiva: The man is trying to plan.
If he was sacked and didn't save a penny you will still come here to complain.

A man who managed to save 6m isn't silly.
Just give him time and encouragement.

pro01: Nothing tests the 'goodness' of one's wife more than losing one's job or running into troubled waters in one's business. If, unfortunately, the situation doesn't turn around quickly enough, even the most virtuous and respectful of wives metamorphose into total she-devils before their husbands very eyes, and the once rosy marriage becomes a field of thorns. Even this one that just lost his job, the wife is already pushing him to 'go out' when he is still trying to reassess his situation and take a deep breath. Go out to where? Is that how people find white collar jobs in this country? By going out to God-knows-where even without prior connections or applications and whatnot? Soon he'll be forced to dress up in the morning and head out to some nice beer parlour somewhere to kill time with younger dudes or other men that are in similar predicaments. I know a couple of guys like that. At least that would be better than staying at home and being branded 'lazy' or 'unambitious' by their wives.

As for you, OP, the bitter truth is that no matter how hard you purport to 'support' him through this trying time, your patience would fizzle out sooner than later - unless you husband gets his groove back by hook or crook. As such, there is little advice one can realistically give you in the circumstances, knowing how inelastic women's patience is when it comes to matters concerning money and financial security in their men. I'd rather advice your husband to strategize, network, and do whatever it takes to get another job at all costs. Who knows, with your prayers and his desperate measures, he might yet get his life back on track sooner than we think. It's really a do or die affair for him.

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

maclatunji: OP, you have been given sound advice by some of the usual 'suspects'. Let me just add a little more: It is obviously a difficult thing when one is fired from a job because it implies rejection (no one likes being rejected, dropped or dismissed) and a loss of means of livelihood. Now, you as his wife and mother of his kids are quite edgy and apprehensive about the whole thing, nothing wrong there- it is the appropriate reaction for such a situation as you find yourself.

BUT! You must:

1. Talk less and act more: Purchase the daily family needs of the house if you can with your own money for the meantime. Allow the kids to continue the way it used to be with their dad before he lost his job. However, educate them on the need to be reasonable- now is not the time to ask daddy for Apple iPad 3!

2. Gauge the mood of your husband, respond positively when he wants to engage you in discussion and avoid discussing the issue of the loss of his job/his future plans if he does not bring-it-up (for now).

3. Make time to go the extra mile for him, try to close from work early, cook if he is one who will not do it. I don't know how your home was before he lost his job but take time out to be in charge of family meals as much as possible. This will do two things for you:

a. Get your husband to want to get back to work soon because it would be embarrassing to him for his wife to go to work, come back to cook elaborate family meals whilst he is there just sitting at home (you wouldn't have said a word but a great message would have been passed across to him this way).

b. It will show him that you still cherish and respect him as the head of your home.

4. Avoid discussing the loss of his job with the numerous "well-wishers" within your kith and kin. Your default reply to their messages of condolence should be: "It is God's will, we have accepted it and I trust my husband to take the right decision for us." (No more, no less).

5. Monitor how he is coping- it is quite possible he may want to lag into alcoholism, gambling and/or profilgate spending. Once you know these danger signs, intervene strongly. At this point he is weak, you have to be strong. If you can't handle this, get somebody he respects to talk some sense into him preferably by "accident".

6. EVENTUALLY, when your husband brings-up his "come-back" plan. Look at it critically and tell him maturely wherever you find loopholes that he can improve on the idea and make your own well-researched suggestions. You need him to succeed, so help him with it.

7. Be prayerful, tell God you want this setback to be a stepping stone to a happier family and greater things for you all individually and collectively.

8. Good luck!

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

ikooko:
I may be wrong but i find it difficult to understand why a man with 6m cash shuld be encouraged to look for a job rather than set up his own company. what if he get another job and he's tansfered to north or he lose that job in a couple of month.
The site you nominated is someone innitiative and the owner is making cool money from it.

life_style:

Every body can't be a company owner.... Some are meant to work for some...

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

Guitarlife: Was this how your parent's behaved around you? If it was then I'd rather you hang around a few other families cos you just suggested she turn her husband to a nanny because he had a temporary setback and worse still, to deny him his conjugal right. Well, are you a male or female to start with cos if you are a female then, I can only pray for your husband (or to be) never retire's but all the same what an unfortunate man he is.

Temistatics 007: Is that's how your mother treated your FATHER when things aren't going smoothly?i fear for your husband to be if you aren't married yet o!

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

finguy: Your husband strikes me as an intelligent nd focused man. Men like this take time to think, plan then move. Dat way u always hit the target! Av been dere b4, after the capital market crash, I was thrown out of job, took 4mnths to relax while I accessed the entire situation. I had to look at d future of the capital market, sectors dat look more promising, wat I can contribute in those sectors with my qualification and experience. Did some research. Narrowed things down to where I had the strongest advantage, started applying, got called and landed a fantastic job in an FMCG without one connection. All kudos to planning.
And I tell you I was able to achieve this cos I have the most amazing woman by myself supporting and loving, and I alsO enjoyed the time to relax. You won't understand how precious a time like that can be till you have worked in the financial sector where is constant run here and there.
Btw, thumbs up to a banker that can save up 6mil in quite a short time.

pro01: Nothing tests the 'goodness' of one's wife more than losing one's job or running into troubled waters in one's business. If, unfortunately, the situation doesn't turn around quickly enough, even the most virtuous and respectful of wives metamorphose into total she-devils before their husbands very eyes, and the once rosy marriage becomes a field of thorns. Even this one that just lost his job, the wife is already pushing him to 'go out' when he is still trying to reassess his situation and take a deep breath. Go out to where? Is that how people find white collar jobs in this country? By going out to God-knows-where even without prior connections or applications and whatnot? Soon he'll be forced to dress up in the morning and head out to some nice beer parlour somewhere to kill time with younger dudes or other men that are in similar predicaments. I know a couple of guys like that. At least that would be better than staying at home and being branded 'lazy' or 'unambitious' by their wives.

As for you, OP, the bitter truth is that no matter how hard you purport to 'support' him through this trying time, your patience would fizzle out sooner than later - unless you husband gets his groove back by hook or crook. As such, there is little advice one can realistically give you in the circumstances, knowing how inelastic women's patience is when it comes to matters concerning money and financial security in their men. I'd rather advice your husband to strategize, network, and do whatever it takes to get another job at all costs. Who knows, with your prayers and his desperate measures, he might yet get his life back on track sooner than we think. It's really a do or die affair for him.

pro01: Nothing tests the 'goodness' of one's wife more than losing one's job or running into troubled waters in one's business. If, unfortunately, the situation doesn't turn around quickly enough, even the most virtuous and respectful of wives metamorphose into total she-devils before their husbands very eyes, and the once rosy marriage becomes a field of thorns. Even this one that just lost his job, the wife is already pushing him to 'go out' when he is still trying to reassess his situation and take a deep breath. Go out to where? Is that how people find white collar jobs in this country? By going out to God-knows-where even without prior connections or applications and whatnot? Soon he'll be forced to dress up in the morning and head out to some nice beer parlour somewhere to kill time with younger dudes or other men that are in similar predicaments. I know a couple of guys like that. At least that would be better than staying at home and being branded 'lazy' or 'unambitious' by their wives.

As for you, OP, the bitter truth is that no matter how hard you purport to 'support' him through this trying time, your patience would fizzle out sooner than later - unless you husband gets his groove back by hook or crook. As such, there is little advice one can realistically give you in the circumstances, knowing how inelastic women's patience is when it comes to matters concerning money and financial security in their men. I'd rather advice your husband to strategize, network, and do whatever it takes to get another job at all costs. Who knows, with your prayers and his desperate measures, he might yet get his life back on track sooner than we think. It's really a do or die affair for him.

jp philips:


isn't it unfortunate how a woman that has been leeching on this man for years is spewing thrash because he lost his job, you don't want to sustain the family with your income for a while but you want him to sustain your excesses with his blood. is there any company or investment your father left for your husband in times like this? the only thing i can deduce from your tenacity is acute selfishness, you want summer hols, fashionable attires, chauffeur and flashy cars, lol, learn to be doing it with your salary now ode!! suggest to him to hang himself because you don't want him in the house, or better still file for a divorce and taste the other side of life bingo!!

ikooko:
I agree but not someone who is out of job with idle 6m