mbulela:
6m seems like a lot of money to you.Believe me, it is not.

N6million naira is not a lot of money but it's something. Look, i have a pal of mine who spent 11 years working in UBA (since the days of Standard Trust Bank). When he got sacked few years ago, he had little or no savings and on top of that, he was heavily indebted with loans he took from the bank. His saving grace is that he's still single with no kids yet (he's 38yrs). A lot of people who lost their jobs during the early days of the "Sanusi inquisition" had less than N200,000 to boast of in their accounts. Someone working in a bank with a wife and four kids and can still squeeze out N6million to save is not a dummy. The wife is creating the impression that the guy is just sitting at home content with life and not thinking of the future (i don't know why women just love to create wrong impressions about something that is not). What does she expect him to do? Dress up every morning and start trotting all over the street looking for a job? There are millions of graduates out there that are jobless and even at that, he stands a good chance of getting another good job with his years of experience (and probably a cabinet filled with certificates). He was definitely not a low level staffer to be able to save that amount. How much do you think cashiers or low level accountants earn?

Abeg, leave the man alone to put his act together. Like my man PRO1 rightfully said, it's this kind of nagging that causes men to spend hours in beer parlors all day all in the name of creating the impression of "being busy".

Well, just listen to the business idea am going to give you. Am really not interested in the way you treat him while he's still at home. But when you chase him out into the waiting hands of vultures outside, na you go carry the cross. Just extend this idea to him. Let him buy a brand new 14 seater bus. This will cost him about 2.8m including registration and comprehensive insurance. He should approach any established transporter or transport company and put the bus under their company. For instance, lets say, you guys are in PHC and he puts the bus under ABC transport or any other. The bus plies PHC to Enugu and back once daily. the transport fair from PHC to Enugu is about N1500 per person. Now, lets do the maths:

1500 x 14 = 21000 x 2 daily = 42000
42000 x 7 days in a week = 294,000 per week
294,000 x 4 weeks = 1,176,000 per month

just bring out half of this amount for all the expenses including drivers salary, the transport company settlement, maintenance,etc. I know the amount is too much but its better to be safe than sorry. Meanwhile, the bus is already insured against any accident or theft. So nothing to worry. Let me repeat please. The vehicle insurance is compulsory please. You must do it. In six months, you have your investment back and you can even buy another bus. But just start with one for now. Good luck to you and hubby.

mbulela:
6m seems like a lot of money to you.Believe me, it is not.

6m is a lot of money even to dangote because every kobo counts to a businessman. to be sincere to yourself, which bank in this country will borrow a jobless man 6m. pls stop creating fake impression.
Do you even think u can pick 6 million stones from the street in the next one month not to talk of money except you have access to government funds.

..

Abmarshalo: Madam we must thank God that he even got that amount. But he needs nt to invest all the money in business now. I will introduce him to FOREVER LIVING PRODUCTS where I bet u the amount of money he wl make in 4months wll be more than his monthly salary while in the bank. For training, call me on 08037775820.

Abmarshalo: Madam we must thank God that he even got that amount. But he needs nt to invest all the money in business now. I will introduce him to FOREVER LIVING PRODUCTS where I bet u the amount of money he wl make in 4months wll be more than his monthly salary while in the bank. For training, call me on 08037775820.

Guy, u no knw say jungle don mature ehn

Strange, I kind of understand this woman's fear. 6 million is not a lot of money because no one knows their kind of life style. That money could go at any time. I know her husband wants to rest but it's best he starts looking things up and applying to different places. No one knows how long this process will take. Rest only comes when one is dead but as long as you are still alive you have to hustle and survive

Don't touch that money for now! Just save it. Give the man time to recover from the sack and try to consider his feelings by being sympathetic, but at the same time looking for the way forward. Do your research on the type of business and where his skills will come in most handy. Both of you should sit down and discuss. Is he going to try to find another job or are u both willing to survive on your salary while he floats the business. Not all businesses have instant profit. Some take a while. Sit down, plan your next move cautiously, budget and support! Be ready for the family to live on your salary. Only buy what you NEED and cover the essentials like rent and school fees. Goodluck

Good luck but no sympathy from me. Nigerian men should STOP sitting there like mumus allowing the wife to have more than 2 children.

PrettyCindy: If i were in your shoes, i will be honeymooning with my husband this period even for up to 3months! After 4 kids together and a stressful job like the one he had, you should be glad you have your man all to yourself for now. Abeg stop complaining and let the man enjoy quality time with his children. He knows he has missed out alot perhaps that is why he is not in a hurry to start working again.
A family man with four children and bills to take care of and still has 6m in his savings account is in my own words "a man with plans".

the OP is a liar! 4 children, bank work, save 6M na 419 the guy bi, no wonder den fired ham.

I would recommend he buys and reads the book...richest man in Babylon...that 6million would yield fruits.....the situation requires the principles of problem solving.....that could also be reached on google.....all the very best

nakedall:

the OP is a liar! 4 children, bank work, save 6M na 419 the guy bi, no wonder den fired ham.

Well we can't be sure; bankers are 'creative' in the way they manage our deposits, so hook or crook, everything goes. In any case, come to think of it, maybe he does have MUCH MORE than N6m stashed away somewhere. I'm guessing only a buffoon of a man would tell his wife the actual amount of money he has at any point in time, let alone at a critical point in time like this. Otherwise he might not be quite as wise as one would have hoped.

jennykadry: Strange, I kind of understand this woman's fear. 6 million is not a lot of money because no one knows their kind of life style. That money could go at any time. I[b] know her husband wants to rest but it's best he starts looking things up and applying to different places. [/b]No one knows how long this process will take. Rest only comes when one is dead but as long as you are still alive you have to hustle and survive

Can you give suggestions? It's always easy to talk the talk but can you provide a solution to the problem? Do you honestly think the man isn't worried about his predicament? Is it until he starts walking aimlessly on the streets that you'd be happy? I don't know why women are so ridiculously irrational. I can bet you that right in the house, he is pressing buttons, making calls, sending emails, reaching out to contacts that can be of influence BUT because he hasn't worn a tie and left the house to start wandering aimlessly, the wife believes life has ended and all he is content with is eating and sleeping at home.

I'm so glad i'm not married. No wonder so many guys are dying from high blood pressure before they hit 45yrs.

pro01:

Well we can't be sure; bankers are 'creative' in the way they manage our deposits, so hook or crook, everything goes. In any case, come to think of it, maybe he does have MUCH MORE than N6m stashed away somewhere. I'm guessing only a buffoon of a man would tell his wife the actual amount of money he has at any point in time, let alone at a critical point in time like this. Otherwise he might not be quite as wise as one would have hoped.

Thank you!!! I wanted to hint on that in my first comment here but that wouldn't be good coz madam go capitalize on that begin winch d poor guy for house. This thread alone proves why IT IS ABSOLUTE MADNESS TO LET YOUR WIFE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE WORTH!!! She knows her husband has N6million somewhere. The whole world (including faceless nairalanders) now know her husband has N6million somewhere. Most definitely everybody who knows them personally is aware of N6million somewhere. If some criminal elements who are desperate decide to attack or even kidnap one of them (most definitely her because na the husband go pay), they will say it's the "work of devil". See how such information has spread. Thousands of people have already read this thread and amongst them might be criminal elements with less than honorable intentions. Woman no dey ever think go dat side. Na wetin dem want now now now be dia own.

Marriage? Hmmm....guyz wey dey inside dat yoke dey try.

ezicat: Is he doing the cooking, cleaning and child rearing while he is home "relaxing?" If he isn't let him know that times have changed and so has the family - if you're to be the breadwinner, he should be the nurturer. Then I'm sure he'll start looking in no time.

PPS: You're also too tired to have s3x. That should also get him out of the house more quickly.

You are the kind of girl that I pray everyday that God shouldn't allow me to meet in my search for a partner,you will nag us to death,deny us sex at the slightest argument and kind that brings very little to the table,abeg don't take her advice,at least he was providing before he lost his job,just know that in time he will get back on his feet.

Wow...that man needs to relax and re-position...and remember, he's at a lot more risk.
He's worked HARD for that cash...
...if he loses it to improper planning, and to say the least without consulting God on way forward, you know how Nigeria, money has wings...
...give him time, let him have all the time to pray and ponder and hear what the Lord will say to him.
Sometimes its not about starting business...it's about the business that wins
...just like a rocking chair, all motion, no distance covered.
A man who can save that much is definitely visionary...
...only support him in prayer, don't put pressure...

newcreatio: Wow...that man needs to relax and re-position...and remember, he's at a lot more risk.
He's worked HARD for that cash...
...if he loses it to improper planning, and to say the least without consulting God on way forward, you know how Nigeria, money has wings...
...give him time, let him have all the time to pray and ponder and hear what the Lord will say to him.
Sometimes its not about starting business...it's about the business that wins
...just like a rocking chair, all motion, no distance covered.
A man who can save that much is definitely visionary...
...only support him in prayer, don't put pressure...

Abeg, tell dem ooo! Dem want make d man rush enter wetin no make sense. When e finally lose all the money, na d same ppl go condemn am for improper planning and too much rush rush.

Someone innocently comes to the family section to seek advice, thread turns into men vs women; y'all are worse that the bigots in the politics section, dang!

@ OP, your man surely needs a breather but not too much of it. Less than a month is still very early days to be fretting, besides as already mentioned by others, saving ordinary 100k with a family is not a joke not to mention a whopping N6M. You certainly don't want to come across as a nagging wife or overplaying your hand because you are the only one one working now.

harakiri:

Thank you!!! I wanted to hint on that in my first comment here but that wouldn't be good coz madam go capitalize on that begin winch d poor guy for house. This thread alone proves why IT IS ABSOLUTE MADNESS TO LET YOUR WIFE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE WORTH!!! She knows her husband has N6million somewhere. The whole world (including faceless nairalanders) now know her husband has N6million somewhere. Most definitely everybody who knows them personally is aware of N6million somewhere. If some criminal elements who are desperate decide to attack or even kidnap one of them (most definitely her because na the husband go pay), they will say it's the "work of devil". See how such information has spread. Thousands of people have already read this thread and amongst them might be criminal elements with less than honorable intentions. Woman no dey ever think go dat side. Na wetin dem want now now now be dia own.

Marriage? Hmmm....guyz wey dey inside dat yoke dey try.

Lol. The issue of the OP's husband's N6M might be 'trending' in their neighbourhood, church, and extended circle of family and friends - just like the issue of his recent sack. No thanks to the OP's indiscretion. A wife with a porous mouth is a big no no. But then, let's hope the OP is merely taking advantage of the relative anonymity of Nairaland. . .I'd readily assume she is more discreet in real life.

ikooko:
6m is a lot of money even to dangote because every kobo counts to a businessman. to be sincere to yourself, which bank in this country will borrow a jobless man 6m. pls stop creating fake impression.
Do you even think u can pick 6 million stones from the street in the next one month not to talk of money except you have access to government funds.

I wish you followed the trend of discussion to understand my argument. Folks were asking the man not to work again because he had 6m saved. As if 6m was some giant lottery win that made you immune from getting broke again. I am simply inferring that even with 6m in the bank if you want to work for a company,nothing stops you and besides,one small business mistake, 6m can very easily be blown. The amount is not as huge as some folks are making it out to be. I don't know what false impression you are referring to.

mbulela:
I wish you followed the trend of discussion to understand my argument. Folks were asking the man not to work again because he had 6m saved. As if 6m was some giant lottery win that made you immune from getting broke again. I am simply inferring that even with 6m in the bank if you want to work for a company,nothing stops you and besides,one small business mistake, 6m can very easily be blown. The amount is not as huge as some folks are making it out to be. I don't know what false impression you are referring to.

No hard feelings man, just that am passionate about the man situation and i want him to suceed. All i pray is for the man to make that money work for him. If he is reading this post, he will realize some strangers care about him. Our leaders has messed us up but we must not join them to do same to ourselves. I lost my banking job in january also and i dont even have 6m but i started on what i have in february. my target is to realize at least 50% of my annual salary by december and thereafter to double it.
Dont you think we need to do things for ourselves in light of the way our leaders are toying wih our futures especially in the banking industry with largest lay~off since sanusi lamido took over cbn.

nakedall:

the OP is a liar! 4 children, bank work, save 6M na 419 the guy bi, no wonder den fired ham.

It is possible that the money is his gratuity or severance package which the wife have little information. Though I found it hard to belief a banker can save that much even the conservatives among them. The case is even worst among the top hirachy with heavy salaries. They rather spend it on make belief lifestyles.

Thanks guys for you advise.... i have sure learned a lot..i sure continue to encourage and give him all the support he needs.
thank you so much

awww - how nice of you all: feeling sorry for my husband and wondering at my selfishness. I wonder if all these heartfelt words would apply if it was a woman lagging it around the house. There's plenty of time to retire; don't let him get used to staying at home - and what the frack is so wrong with men doing housework! Am sorry - your p3nis too heavy? You need both hands to hold unto it at all times if they're not holding the remote or a beer?!!! Did she say that her husband was strategizing or planning? How did you know he didn't save the 6 million by denying his kids and wife of the best - education, neighbourhood. Do they have access to that money? But most seem to assume the best of his intentions and the worst of hers. Listen - when you start attacking me personally, you're showing that you're the dumbass because you obviously can't carry a debate forward. Morons without insight. If you were the ones in charge, we'd all probably still be living in caves.

And yes, I do pat myself on the back occassionally since I am AWESOME!. If he thinks he can get s3x elsewhere - he can go marry the b3tch(es). I have no issues with divorce. And as for those who wouldn't want to marry me...thank God! If you think you can sit around on me, think again because I sure as H3ll do not sit around waiting for someone else to be responsible for my upkeep. I am an adult, not a child. If I need a vacation, I'll let my partner know: "give me two weeks, give me a month, our savings will last a while while I distress and get my act together. I'll COMMUNICATE with them - that doesn't seem to have been done at the time of the posting. Things tend to go on indefinitely when there is no time limit or planning or nagging. Since Nigerian men are apparently such delicate creatures - nag gently but make sure he knows that this cannot go on indefintely because I personally known of families were men have taken the backseat for YEARS because the woman was able to carry them financially, but they apparently still can't do housework.

Erm erm *cough's* Why is it soooo cool for a woman to be a full house wife and soooo wrong for a man to be a full house husband? And we are talking equality of sexes? Well you know it sound's really dumb that a man should lay about in the house all day while his wife is on the go minting money but, it's ok if it was the other way round? It's because Men are the head of the home baby. No matter how hard you try to rationalize or even sensationalise it, gender equality can only exist in your head cos whenever the table's are turned y'all scream blue murder forgetting you wanna be equal. And by the way if all you're concerned with is doing the dishe's we can get you a nanny and a house help combined and for a pittance too.

ezicat: awww - how nice of you all: feeling sorry for my husband and wondering at my selfishness. I wonder if all these heartfelt words would apply if it was a woman lagging it around the house. There's plenty of time to retire; don't let him get used to staying at home - and what the frack is so wrong with men doing housework! Am sorry - your p3nis too heavy? You need both hands to hold unto it at all times if they're not holding the remote or a beer?!!! Did she say that her husband was strategizing or planning? How did you know he didn't save the 6 million by denying his kids and wife of the best - education, neighbourhood. Do they have access to that money? But most seem to assume the best of his intentions and the worst of hers. Listen - when you start attacking me personally, you're showing that you're the dumbass because you obviously can't carry a debate forward. Morons without insight. If you were the ones in charge, we'd all probably still be living in caves.

And yes, I do pat myself on the back occassionally since I am AWESOME!. If he thinks he can get s3x elsewhere - he can go marry the b3tch(es). I have no issues with divorce. And as for those who wouldn't want to marry me...thank God! If you think you can sit around on me, think again because I sure as H3ll do not sit around waiting for someone else to be responsible for my upkeep. I am an adult, not a child. If I need a vacation, I'll let my partner know: "give me two weeks, give me a month, our savings will last a while while I distress and get my act together. I'll COMMUNICATE with them - that doesn't seem to have been done at the time of the posting. Things tend to go on indefinitely when there is no time limit or planning or nagging. Since Nigerian men are apparently such delicate creatures - nag gently but make sure he knows that this cannot go on indefintely because I personally known of families were men have taken the backseat for YEARS because the woman was able to carry them financially, but they apparently still can't do housework.

Madam, one you need not to mention your hubby saved Bleep amount. go close to him, reach his meart and mind, get involved with him, spend time with him and you will know his plans. cheers,

Guitarlife: Erm erm *cough's* Why is it soooo cool for a woman to be a full house wife and soooo wrong for a man to be a full house husband? And we are talking equality of sexes? Well you know it sound's really dumb that a man should lay about in the house all day while his wife is on the go minting money but, it's ok if it was the other way round? It's because Men are the head of the home baby. No matter how hard you try to rationalize or even sensationalise it, gender equality can only exist in your head cos whenever the table's are turned y'all scream blue murder forgetting you wanna be equal. And by the way if all you're concerned with is doing the dishe's we can get you a nanny and a house help combined and for a pittance too.

Did I say I have an objection to a full house husband? A full husband takes care of the home - most Nigerian men do not even if they are home: that's my objection. If the woman becomes the financial provider, by default, the husband should carry the household tasks. But most Nigerian men think it's beneath them. Why? As for a nanny and a househelp for a pittance, 1) does that mean that he is excempt from organizing the household's finances, organizing the children's education, being the one who attends those parent-teacher conferences, dealing with homework, discipline, guidance, growing pains. Do men know all that it entails to be a house wife - obviously not since some think that there's a lot of "laying about the house;" 2) It's not okay to hire someone for a pittance. Would you want that to be one of your children? Being treated like dirt while being paid very little? Domestic workers need to be respected and at least paid the minimum wage; when we keep looking for ways to take advantage of the poor instead of working together for the greater good, is it surprise that the country isn't moving forward?

Finally, no, equality of the sexes is not all in my head. I live in a society where it is practiced daily, where couples do EVERYTHING together, and marriage is a true partnership.

Ok for the last statement you might wanna consider looking up the divorce rate in your environment. I bet it's not something to be proud of and that actually learn's credence to the fact that gender equality is just our own contraption. The whole of africa is relatively averse to this gender equality thing and the lower divorce rate witnessed here justifies that disposition.

ezicat:

Did I say I have an objection to a full house husband? A full husband takes care of the home - most Nigerian men do not even if they are home: that's my objection. If the woman becomes the financial provider, by default, the husband should carry the household tasks. But most Nigerian men think it's beneath them. Why? As for a nanny and a househelp for a pittance, 1) does that mean that he is excempt from organizing the household's finances, organizing the children's education, being the one who attends those parent-teacher conferences, dealing with homework, discipline, guidance, growing pains. Do men know all that it entails to be a house wife - obviously not since some think that there's a lot of "laying about the house;" 2) It's not okay to hire someone for a pittance. Would you want that to be one of your children? Being treated like dirt while being paid very little? Domestic workers need to be respected and at least paid the minimum wage; when we keep looking for ways to take advantage of the poor instead of working together for the greater good, is it surprise that the country isn't moving forward?

Finally, no, equality of the sexes is not all in my head. I live in a society where it is practiced daily, where couples do EVERYTHING together, and marriage is a true partnership.

True. But honestly, I'd take a 52 % divorce rate and a "developed" society over a 5 %? divorce rate and underdevelopment. Last time I checked - net people migration is to the developed world not to the developing or underdeveloped. So...I guess, if given a chance, most Africans would choose the 52 % divorce rate if it comes with - longer life due to better health care, more job security, safer neighbourhoods, ability to own one's home more quickly due to the widespread availability of mortgages, financial independence, constant power, running water, cleaner air, cleaner environment active discussions on societal ills and how best to continuously improve things within the family, within the workplace, within the school, within the country as a whole; where respect is earned not owed due to status or gender or age, where scientific innovations at your fingertips; a society with a functioning government and industries where you don't have to pay on the side to get things done.

Which is not to say that Canada doesn't have it's negatives - the colonial mentality, racism, the cold (my God!), high tax rates, inefficiencies within the government, a more solitary existence....but people talk about these things, discuss it, attempt to make improvements.

And as for the divorce rate - I'm definitely interested in seeing future trends. With the current average marital age (in Canada) being about 30 where (most) people now live together before marriage and (hopefully) work out the kinks, will it be as high as those of our parents where things may have started out patriarchal but is no longer? Time will tell.

Mmmhhhh well, not bad to be a dreamer though but while you are at it remember that the west is not just trying to reduce it's divorce rate. It has always had this problem.
The weak family structure has always been there although they've got a lot of pyschiatric doctor's and psychologist's. And with the advent of gay marriages now you think it's gonna get better? I'm quite impressed with your sincerity though but you know if the divorce rate is going to reduce in the nearest future then they'd be ready to adopt the african mentality which has been trusted and proven. You see sometime's too much knowledge is bad cos it make's you feel two people can steer a car without an accident as long as they have their seat belts strapped right? As simple as it seem's civilization make's it rocket science cos how do you expect two people to share equal right's in a relationship and you expect thing's to work. One person has got to veto(in love though) everything while the other party submit's I know it sound's like I am a chauvinist but time and time again event's have justified this approach so need I say more?

ezicat: True. But honestly, I'd take a 52 % divorce rate and a "developed" society over a 5 %? divorce rate and underdevelopment. Last time I checked - net people migration is to the developed world not to the developing or underdeveloped. So...I guess, if given a chance, most Africans would choose the 52 % divorce rate if it comes with - longer life due to better health care, more job security, safer neighbourhoods, ability to own one's home more quickly due to the widespread availability of mortgages, financial independence, constant power, running water, cleaner air, cleaner environment active discussions on societal ills and how best to continuously improve things within the family, within the workplace, within the school, within the country as a whole; where respect is earned not owed due to status or gender or age, where scientific innovations at your fingertips; a society with a functioning government and industries where you don't have to pay on the side to get things done.

Which is not to say that Canada doesn't have it's negatives - the colonial mentality, racism, the cold (my God!), high tax rates, inefficiencies within the government, a more solitary existence....but people talk about these things, discuss it, attempt to make improvements.

And as for the divorce rate - I'm definitely interested in seeing future trends. With the current average marital age (in Canada) being about 30 where (most) people now live together before marriage and (hopefully) work out the kinks, will it be as high as those of our parents where things may have started out patriarchal but is no longer? Time will tell.

Yes you need say more - although we should agree to disagree because we obviously have different views on the topic. And no, I don't believe the West has always had a high divorce rate: do you have any data to back that up? I suspect that the divorce rates increased with the advent of feminism i.e. women learned to put their foot down and leave intractable, abusive husbands. I believe the divorce rates should decrease because the current generation of men know the score. However, I will admit that Westerners have a low tolerance threshold and don't stick around to try to work out what could be considered minor issues. Regardless, to what extent does a high divorce rate affect the standard of living of society as a whole - there is the initial financial strain on the couple, and the emotional strain on themselves and their children, but these wounds can and do heal with time - I know enough people to testify to that. And the car analogy: I think marriage is far more complicated. Perhaps more like driving down a long, narrow windy country road in the dark without a map for "as long as you both shall live" (or until you call it quits). To make it work, one person had to drive while the other navigates and they need to take turns.

As for the African mentality - is it the same mentality that makes excuses when people don't do what is expected of them: husbands, politicians, the judiciary system? Is it the same mentality that allows the proliferation of corruption? Is it the same mentality that doesn't seem to be able to wrap its head around accountability, reprimand and punishment when people fail to fulfill their responsibility? Is it the same mentality that is then the first to blame their leaders, like they would act differently in the same position; like their leaders aren't a reflection of themselves? Is it the same mentality that advocates sexism because it leads to low divorce rates (incidentally, not because the people involved are happy; take a look at the posts on the first year of marriage as a small sample) without being able to go that one step further to realize that to compete effectively in this world, you can't put artificial barriers on your people; you have to encourage everyone to be the best they can be. Is it the same mentality that keeps us underdeveloped because it seems to spit directly in the face of nation-building? Again I will opt for the higher divorce rate. And I have no issues with gay marriages - the happier the general population, the less stigma people have to deal with, the more likely they'll make good law-abiding citizens, the better for the country as a whole. The African mentality is far to short-sighted.