Thanks obasijoy but i would be quick enough to brief a summary of what happened last year between
March to September

[size=28pt]PLEASE THIS IS AN OLD EVENT THAT HAS SINCE LED TO WE BREAKING UP[/size]


i left nigeria 3years ago and after leaving tried all i could to keep in touch with my woman (21 by that time) whom ive been dating for the past 5years, although we had issues then but i tried to remain positive on the relationship and wanted to serious see if she could stand the test of time, i cut down all financial aspects at my young age , I wanted to see what she had to offer and if she could wait for the one year duration, to cut all story short may this year reports started getting to me bout my woman dating a dude a 400level finals student like herself, i confronted her with this story and she denied it - i pressed on, she opened up that she had to give in to the pressure of the dude during a period when we had some misunderstanding and that he guy has only kissed her and helped her out financially but hasn't slept with her, My world came crashing before me, my 4year relationship was going down -

I had to run back to Nigeria and i indeed confirmed tins for myself, flooded in her fone were pics of this guy, she had locks on all her fone and was so phone concious the whole time, I gave her a ring which she accepted after some serious talks trying to make her remember the past we shared before i departed the shores of Nigeria, she agreed but the next day - I noticed the ring was no where to be found on her hands -i asked her and she claimed it was missing somewhere in her room, i ignored it knowing fully well that she might have kept it
and whenever I asked why, she said the feelings were not there and that "like you said, they would come back with time" although we still Were Intimate but it was terrible as her mind didnt seem to be in it

Fast forward to a week later we had issues again as a result of that same dude and in the midst of anger, demanded my ring back cos im very temperamental and she returned the ring, i was ready to break it off this time and head back to europe - her family intervened and got the info of the dude and asked him to leave the girl alone (so i was told) had a couple of words with her and then she wanted a meeting - which i acknowledged, she wanted space to work on ourselves so she claimed - she said she no longer felt love for me any more and that she had like 40% love for me - tears rolled down my eyes knowing im so emotional but she wasnt moved - i wished her all the best and we agreed to give ourselves the space, she claimed she could always call me - try to keep in touch etc but i made up my mind that the sooner i left nigeria, the better for me as im going to delete all contacts of her from my life.

Sorry its quite long but it sure would make me feel better typing this all out - 2days after she asked for the space, she got in touch with a friend of mine and told her she needed tins to work out and then proceeded in asking me that we should make things work, I would like to maintain that ive since cut off all financial aspects away from the relationship which she never complained about - My family went behind me and my father personally asked her himself that we do some sort of introductions before i leave the country back to cyprus and she turned the offer down saying she wasnt ready - My family whom she was so close to saw how depressed i was and knew exactly what was happening to me as i took to alcohol and they were amazingly shocked - they washed their hands away from this girl and everyone within my family circle hated her

This time she seem ready and was more back to her senses but then a problem happened, her birthday happened to be october 19th and on the 18th nite to the 19th morning - i asked her to spend the night at my place after much talking she agreed but then she did something which i noticed and frowned at cos she stays at her school hostel - before coming to spend the nite at mine, she bought a new sim and placed it in her fone leaving her real sim back in the another fone at her hostel - i believe her intention was to avoid calls from whoever she was expecting calls from to wish her a happy birthday wish - 12am that nite she was sleeping already, i got up and called her line it kept ringing but her phone right in my hand was mute then i knew something was up, i woke her up and complained why wont she drop this cheating habit of hers and she said she did it knowing my temper decided to avoid any issue that would cause us having an arguments

the next day 19th (her day) , she decided to read that nite for her upcoming exams which i agreed to because i value education so well - i was completely cool with it, then 20th afternoon - i saw a friend who asked me where was my girlfriend last nite and i was quick to defend her that she was reading the whole nite back in her hostel the guy laughed and asked me to ask her well where she was last night - then i knew i was in trouble again.

I approached her house and on getting there she wasnt in but her bag was in the living room, i angrily took the bag dropped it in my car and sped off waiting 4 her to call me so she cud tell me where exactly she was last nite, she didnt call. 6pm that evening the 20th october her mom rang me on my way there, i met a friend who confided in me that my girl did some birthday bash in a club that nite and that same boy whom her family has warned she stay away from was indeed there and after the birthday on their way to her hostel or where-ever got arrested by the police and locked up in prison, i thanked him for this info and went to see her mom on getting there - broke the news to the woman who apologized to me, reported her dad and he threatened to disown her after her entire family kept apologizing to me.

the 21st she came to meet me and went on her knees and confessed that it was a friends birthday bash after reading decided 2 go with some of her friends and met the guy coincidentally in the same club and by 11pm he was going to drop she and her friends off when they got arrested, she also confessed only kissing the guy and collecting money for up keep from him but never Were Intimate with him (Who cares) her father had a meeting with me a day before i travelled and it was agreed that December this year, i should come for some family introduction but my family are not in anyway ready for this because they hate this girl now so much cos of what shes done to me and the fact that she couldnt wait - they seem to have their own way of getting info about my girl from random sources close to her (all eyes fixed on us)

I met another young lady during my stay bout 2weeks (NOW CURRENT GIRLFRIEND WHOM I TALKED ABOUT EARLIER AND WHO'S CARELESS ABOUT HER OWN LIFE NOT TO MENTION RELATIONSHIP) before i left just to allow me get this girl off my head and my family immediately accepted her


I got talking with a friend of hers whom i happen to know through her and stays very close to her room in the same hostel and here was what the girl told me -
In quote " I know since ,she told people dat she loves d guy,dat d guy is caring,she said u always shout at her.when d boy called her, she said my boyfriend is calling me and i know becos she was wishing him sucess in his exam.a friend of mine stay close to d boys house and she told someone dat (my girl) do spend nite in d guys house.all her room mates and friends know about this."

I believe what this girl is saying but im blinded by love so is taking it all as lies, even if its true - theres notin i can do cos ive seen worst things from her



Looool well thats just past events but its just a summary of events that happened between us last year
I really dont care about her anymore, I have a strong notion that if you love something then you would fight for it and dont give up on it
I have seen young ladies wanting 2 commit suicide over issues of the heart and 2 be sincere, if the tables were turned - i think i wouldnt waste anytime apologizing especially as she knows she has wronged both me and my family

Obasijoy age has notin 2 do with what she did or why she has refused to apologize - till date she hasnt apologized either for her actions not even to me and i could so predict that she was not going to apologize 2 my family too and she proved me right, we are not in talking terms
as we speak, shes just an infrigment of some child's play which took place years ago to me, a shadow of my imagination as i careless what she does or think,

I dont even know if im in love with her again or not, Ive never been so strong enough to stand up to her and fought her off asking her to back off away from me, Neither do i care if she loves me or not, She always had her young lustful eyes on the streets even before i met her
at age 17 she has already dated as much as 4/5 boys and i did everything do-able just to make sure she stayed between the boundaries of the relationship, to be honest maybe i would have married her but that BIG TEST/Distance and everything crumbled!


Thank God for my FOUND STATUS anyways not having 2 care about anyone's feeding, clothing, or anything,
best decison ever is never to date a girl from a family who cant afford 3square meals
Going for some fucking vacation soon

Moremi over to you

What was missing from your childhood that the overwhelming need for a gf is the only thing that could cure it?

titans: Thanks obasijoy but i would be quick enough to brief a summary of what happened last year between
March to September

Looool well thats just past events but its just a summary of events that happened between us last year
I really dont care about her anymore, I have a strong notion that if you love something then you would fight for it and dont give up on it
I have seen young ladies wanting 2 commit suicide over issues of the heart and 2 be sincere, if the tables were turned - i think i wouldnt waste anytime apologizing especially as she knows she has wronged both me and my family


Thank God for my FOUND STATUS anyways not having 2 care about anyone's feeding, clothing, or anything,
best decison ever is never to date a girl from a family who cant afford 3square meals
Going for some fucking vacation soon

Oh my!

I think your lesson learned is along the correct lines but I would slightly tweak it. Instead of not dating a girl from a poor family, just don't wholeheartedly throw yourself financially into a relationship with anyone who is not your wife the way you did with this girl. The way I see it, that's what made the whole thing complex (apart from your weird inability to let go). She could not make a clean break from you when she fell out of love with you because she felt indebted to you for your financial support to her and her family. You used the fact that you were the financial sponsor to the family to essentially blackmail her into staying with you when it was clear she didn't want to. You were both wrong, she should have broken up with you before moving on to someone else, you should have let her go when she moved on to someone else.

As for your 'strong opinion to fight for what you love', please reconsider it. If someone clearly does not want you, fighting for them will only lead to prolonged heartbreak. Reserve your energies for someone who loves you.

Move on with your life then. Life is too short you have to be happy and enjoy it. For her to have dated up to 5 guys *the ones you know ooo* at 17 is incredible! I thought you were the one that dis virgined her. Please move on as you've made up your mind already and don't look back. Wish you luck in your next relationship.

Being lovestrung ain't a nice thing oh, chai.

Moremi and Coogar should have been unleashed on your ar.se from page one.

Anywayz keep your head up, you ain't the first person this would be happening to, so conquer your fear that you might not be able to love again, it is a beautiful and natural thing to be in love, and you are not to blame for trusting and loving and giving your all to someone so undeserving of your love, so stop beating yourself up over this "good riddance to bad rubbish" relationship. You just don't know it yet, but its her loss. . .

@titan see d way u painted urself as a saint nd d girl as a devil. I wish d girl's here to defend herself cos there definitely would have been something u did dt she's reacting to: newton's third law. It will be wrong for anybody to judge this girl without hearing her side of d matter. U no try d way u talked about her, making pple to hate her...love speaks no ill of d object of love, how come u failed this law...did u actually love this girl...i doubt.

Thanks Obasijoy - I was vividly warned by memebers of my peer groups
About commiting myslf 6yrs ago into a relatnshp with this girl..
Well all d same, I just happened 2 find myslf back 2 square 1 - as I've asked dem
Why didn't dey bitch slap me back 2 reality wen dey noticed, I was takin her so seriously
They all seem 2 wash their hands away from both of us and @ one time - I almost became a laffin stock amongst my frnds fightin over a 1kobo girl who's roots I've known rite from her recharge card days till I got admission 4 her 2 when she managed 2 graduate flirtin in between even if I must suggest that d 2nd and 3rd year she seem 2 have her head down in d rlatnshp- well all d same Thank God 4 my life

@ busy body
Please kindly explain what u meant by its her loss
I don't want 2 recall d money, times, efforts, investment, sacrifices
And even disgrace I've either invested or gone thru in d hands of this girl- clearly I was @ loss here which is why I'm even confused on wat u meant by its her loss

@ ATMC
Bruv as we speak, I don't even knw myslf cos I don't tink I even love her anymore,
I'm a lover and not a fighter but I found myslf fightin over dis girl, I'm jst in my mid 20s and I stil av lots of years ahead of me and least I forget I'm nt in anyway claiming 2 b d all round perfect gentleman
Myslf and had both had our issues all round our relationshp - fights and all tins normal teens av durin their relatnshp bt I have always stuck by one tin and which was my relatnshp as I never joked with it - it meant so much 2be during those yrs cos I felt its always a gud tin knowin sum1 u wanna marry so early and yes maybe I wud av married her - I brushed aside so many chances and ladies in my life as a result of dis rlatnshp my NYSC yrs was completely wasted as I ensured she was with me tru out 2 stop any forms of fornication and heart break 2 her - she was d first persn dat knew I was gna leave d country and I never knew she didn't take it so well but she was quick 2 inform me dat she was goin 2 wait 4 me but just 4months away and she was in d hands of a new guy same finals with her which was last year

I'm a happy person today knowin fully well dat d fault never came frm me - I don't nid 2 go in2 hiding just cos my woman cheated on me while I was away - she's d one who can't stand anyone who knew wen we dated as she's feelin d heat and disgrace and resorts 2 hidin each time she's witin town (no wonder her family fled her away frm town) - so ATMC in regards 2 ur qustn I'm no saint and I dnt knw if she's a devil but I never wish dat girl well eida now or in her future endevours cos d pain she made me go tru - she wud reap in a 1000 folds - (u can blame me later) I'm not hurt just sayin tins as it is

dayokanu: Moremi over to you

What was missing from your childhood that the overwhelming need for a gf is the only thing that could cure it?

I refuse to read anymore of his foolishness. His case is hopeless.

so far so good

doing well by myself so far

no yeye update from the B! so far

titans: so far so good

doing well by myself so far

no yeye update from the B! so far

I think say u don die, you still dey wait for update from the babe?


My dear, pls, keep yourself busy with something else abeg,

Also change this title! " am dying slowly"

Welcome to my club

titans:
Good day fellow forumites
Please i urgently need your help as im dying with - please my hart has been shattered to pieces by the one whom i fell in love with
I met this girl while i was still in the uni, and then she was about gaining admission into uni - we fell in love with each other as i did everything financially, emotionally and never cheated on her for 6 good years we dated and everything was smooth - then i had to leave the country overseas for a masters programme and my girl eventually started cheating on me, my family got to know about it and strictly warned me to call it off - she wasnt prepared to apologize to even my mom whom was like a 2nd mom to her as i pleaded with her on all grounds to simply do all whats its capable to ensure that shes sorry and she has my backing 100% completely so we could plead with my family

I loved her with my life, i pleaded day and nite with my family but they just wouldnt agree to see reasons with me on her issue and she herself was bent on not apologizing to any member of my family, fastforward to 18th January, i returned back to the country and after much tussle and bustle she finally broke it off with me saying she was under too much intense pressure and i was shattered, I managed to gather the pieces of my heart together and continue with my life. all efforts of me trying to convince her via her friends fell on deaf ears as i managed not to get in touch with her for 5months, Then she started calling me out of the blue (first time claiming that she just thought about me and decided to holla)
then she sent me an sms on easter day and yesterday she finally decided to call me again claiming to check up on me.

Im really sorry for this long write up but i need as much valuable advice on this issue so i can know what to do.
well out of would i say false hope or anxiety i called her back and simply told her that im really not comfortable with her calling me to check up on me as i have my family and real friends to do that and she was shell shocked and cold before i hung up.

she sent me this sms - immediately after

Sorry if my calls and msgs make u uncomfortable. Just that i dont want us to be enemies as we are apart but its ok. U would never see or hear from me ever again, sorry for the inconvinces and good bye

I got confused and at the same still nursing hope that i could salvage the situation if only she could just wake up one day and decide to fight for me by simply apologizing to my family, they do not need accept as i could easily pick it up from there, had alot of talks with friends on the issue and 24hrs later got convince by an elderly one that i should simply reply back to her and responded with this message

Sup didnt mean to sound harsh bur i just felt there is really no need keepin in touch wen there is notin going on. I think its very easy and a 2 way thing. U either apologize to my mom no matter how u wanna do it or we quit the whole thing so kindly get back to me.

Then she responded saying
Sori to disapoint you but i have longed called it a quit rite from the day i told u i have. wat eva call or message you received from me was becos of the people you do send to me to talk 2 me and dey said we should be friends, so dont think im regretting or avin a rethink ok and please stop calling me with unknown numbers (I dont seem to understand where she got that from because i have clearly avoided calling or msging her from January till date) thanks for your understanding and good bye

Then i responded sayin
Thanks and please kindly stop calling or messaging me since you have decided and please i dont call you with withheld numbers as im too busy with my life for that.
Later

It really hurts me that things turned out this way, but i cant understand why this 23yr old girl cheated on me and is still getting pissed that my family are angry with her
why would she want to claim we remain friends when i love her too much to see we just remain friends, I would simply perform better knowing she doesnt exist @ all or shes in my life for good than choosing to remain friends with her.

please if there are any ways to salvage this situation, kindly share
if there isnt. . please just let me know, I can hear my heart beating as i still love this girl and my head almost exploding but i really need to do anything possible get my life together, im in a new relationship with a girl already whom i can say i clearly dont love - but it still hasnt been able to distract me and she really hasnt made me fall for her

really confused!


please i need as much replies as posible

Downcasted is back with a new ID..
What a shame

jason123:


Until you forgive this girl, you wouldn't move on. Take that from me!

this always baffles me,now tell me,how will forgive someone who hurts you so badly?

titans:
Another decison I've made is never 2 date girls who's family can't afford 3 square meals

abi?

rockafela:
yeso @titans dont even try it...cos at the tail end of the day she will be collecting from u with the sole aim of spreading across to the entire family meanwhile all the family's responsibilities will be channel to u somehow..and the girl involve wont even acknowledge ur effort.

lol very true.

Interesting thread!

I keep saying everybody (male/female) should go throigh the process of at least, 1 heartbreak EARLY enough in life. Very very important!


I made this conclusion when I saw a man in his 50's faint cos a woman was about to leave him.
Like WTH?

titans:
Thank u bur wat if she calls again - wat do I do
If she sends an sms - wat do I do

I'm nt thinkin abt her cos I have my head on sumtin important
But d issue nw is wenever d witch calls - it confuses me.
She said she won't call again and I've asked her stop -
Do u think she still would + its my bday in 2weeks I dnt knw if
She would capitalize on that 2 torment me again

IF NOT FOR some thing else ,i would hav said u stole my whole life story bro,i love princess so much dat i can die without her presence.got her a job in an oil company,paid for her computer school,wrote waec exams for her,but she ended up following 'big oil boys'!i was ready for marriage and went to her for her consent,she rejected of like a plague!i knelt down to beg, 4where!!i ended up even rushing 4another lady so as just 2kip my heart alive coz i knew i might not make it.d irony of d matter is that i still love her like death though married!can't say wot d mata was!she neva marry til now

^^ heartless lady

Moral of the story.

Stop chasing and trying to keep someone who wants out.

It's a complete waste of precious time and energy. Forget that fight for what is yours talk. It never applies in most cases. If it was meant to be, it won't be a one man show. Both of you would be turning stones and rolling mountains to make it work.

This is an Old story though but guy even if you forgave her, the trust issues would never let the relationship last or be the same. Its something subconscious and you cannot wish those thoughts away. You may say you have forgiven but truth is, you would always view her from such prism and this would make you act differently. I hope the op has finally moved on now.

alutacontinua:
Interesting thread!

I keep saying everybody (male/female) should go throigh the process of at least, 1 heartbreak EARLY enough in life. Very very important!


I made this conclusion when I saw a man in his 50's faint cos a woman was about to leave him.
Like WTH?

^^^

titans:

...
Please kindly explain what u meant by its her loss
I don't want 2 recall d money, times, efforts, investment, sacrifices
And even disgrace I've either invested or gone thru in d hands of this girl- clearly I was @ loss here which is why I'm even confused on wat u meant by its her loss
...

^^^*ROTFL*


@Titans/ Youngpo413, stale story, but I hope you're better now.

theLORDreigns:


^^^

It's very true oo
The man got hospitalized on top this issue

alutacontinua:



It's very true oo
The man got hospitalized on top this issue

Seriously?!

Nah...I'm sure you're exaggerating.

Early heartbreaks have their benefits.

When did you become a man?

theLORDreigns:


Seriously?!

Nah...I'm sure you're exaggerating.

Early heartbreaks have their benefits.

When did you become a man?

Hard to believe, right?
I ain't exaggerating oo
I saw it with my two eyes


I've always been a man
The (f) was some sort of experiment

theLORDreigns:


^^^*ROTFL*


@Titans/ Youngpo413, stale story, but I hope you're better now.

you mean I'm titan?

Youngpo413:





you mean think I'm titan?

^^^^Yes