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Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by titans: 9:47am On May 19, 2012 |
Thanks obasijoy but i would be quick enough to brief a summary of what happened last year between March to September [size=28pt]PLEASE THIS IS AN OLD EVENT THAT HAS SINCE LED TO WE BREAKING UP[/size] i left nigeria 3years ago and after leaving tried all i could to keep in touch with my woman (21 by that time) whom ive been dating for the past 5years, although we had issues then but i tried to remain positive on the relationship and wanted to serious see if she could stand the test of time, i cut down all financial aspects at my young age , I wanted to see what she had to offer and if she could wait for the one year duration, to cut all story short may this year reports started getting to me bout my woman dating a dude a 400level finals student like herself, i confronted her with this story and she denied it - i pressed on, she opened up that she had to give in to the pressure of the dude during a period when we had some misunderstanding and that he guy has only kissed her and helped her out financially but hasn't slept with her, My world came crashing before me, my 4year relationship was going down - I had to run back to Nigeria and i indeed confirmed tins for myself, flooded in her fone were pics of this guy, she had locks on all her fone and was so phone concious the whole time, I gave her a ring which she accepted after some serious talks trying to make her remember the past we shared before i departed the shores of Nigeria, she agreed but the next day - I noticed the ring was no where to be found on her hands -i asked her and she claimed it was missing somewhere in her room, i ignored it knowing fully well that she might have kept it and whenever I asked why, she said the feelings were not there and that "like you said, they would come back with time" although we still Were Intimate but it was terrible as her mind didnt seem to be in it Fast forward to a week later we had issues again as a result of that same dude and in the midst of anger, demanded my ring back cos im very temperamental and she returned the ring, i was ready to break it off this time and head back to europe - her family intervened and got the info of the dude and asked him to leave the girl alone (so i was told) had a couple of words with her and then she wanted a meeting - which i acknowledged, she wanted space to work on ourselves so she claimed - she said she no longer felt love for me any more and that she had like 40% love for me - tears rolled down my eyes knowing im so emotional but she wasnt moved - i wished her all the best and we agreed to give ourselves the space, she claimed she could always call me - try to keep in touch etc but i made up my mind that the sooner i left nigeria, the better for me as im going to delete all contacts of her from my life. Sorry its quite long but it sure would make me feel better typing this all out - 2days after she asked for the space, she got in touch with a friend of mine and told her she needed tins to work out and then proceeded in asking me that we should make things work, I would like to maintain that ive since cut off all financial aspects away from the relationship which she never complained about - My family went behind me and my father personally asked her himself that we do some sort of introductions before i leave the country back to cyprus and she turned the offer down saying she wasnt ready - My family whom she was so close to saw how depressed i was and knew exactly what was happening to me as i took to alcohol and they were amazingly shocked - they washed their hands away from this girl and everyone within my family circle hated her This time she seem ready and was more back to her senses but then a problem happened, her birthday happened to be october 19th and on the 18th nite to the 19th morning - i asked her to spend the night at my place after much talking she agreed but then she did something which i noticed and frowned at cos she stays at her school hostel - before coming to spend the nite at mine, she bought a new sim and placed it in her fone leaving her real sim back in the another fone at her hostel - i believe her intention was to avoid calls from whoever she was expecting calls from to wish her a happy birthday wish - 12am that nite she was sleeping already, i got up and called her line it kept ringing but her phone right in my hand was mute then i knew something was up, i woke her up and complained why wont she drop this cheating habit of hers and she said she did it knowing my temper decided to avoid any issue that would cause us having an arguments the next day 19th (her day) , she decided to read that nite for her upcoming exams which i agreed to because i value education so well - i was completely cool with it, then 20th afternoon - i saw a friend who asked me where was my girlfriend last nite and i was quick to defend her that she was reading the whole nite back in her hostel the guy laughed and asked me to ask her well where she was last night - then i knew i was in trouble again. I approached her house and on getting there she wasnt in but her bag was in the living room, i angrily took the bag dropped it in my car and sped off waiting 4 her to call me so she cud tell me where exactly she was last nite, she didnt call. 6pm that evening the 20th october her mom rang me on my way there, i met a friend who confided in me that my girl did some birthday bash in a club that nite and that same boy whom her family has warned she stay away from was indeed there and after the birthday on their way to her hostel or where-ever got arrested by the police and locked up in prison, i thanked him for this info and went to see her mom on getting there - broke the news to the woman who apologized to me, reported her dad and he threatened to disown her after her entire family kept apologizing to me. the 21st she came to meet me and went on her knees and confessed that it was a friends birthday bash after reading decided 2 go with some of her friends and met the guy coincidentally in the same club and by 11pm he was going to drop she and her friends off when they got arrested, she also confessed only kissing the guy and collecting money for up keep from him but never Were Intimate with him (Who cares) her father had a meeting with me a day before i travelled and it was agreed that December this year, i should come for some family introduction but my family are not in anyway ready for this because they hate this girl now so much cos of what shes done to me and the fact that she couldnt wait - they seem to have their own way of getting info about my girl from random sources close to her (all eyes fixed on us) I met another young lady during my stay bout 2weeks (NOW CURRENT GIRLFRIEND WHOM I TALKED ABOUT EARLIER AND WHO'S CARELESS ABOUT HER OWN LIFE NOT TO MENTION RELATIONSHIP) before i left just to allow me get this girl off my head and my family immediately accepted her I got talking with a friend of hers whom i happen to know through her and stays very close to her room in the same hostel and here was what the girl told me - In quote " I know since ,she told people dat she loves d guy,dat d guy is caring,she said u always shout at her.when d boy called her, she said my boyfriend is calling me and i know becos she was wishing him sucess in his exam.a friend of mine stay close to d boys house and she told someone dat (my girl) do spend nite in d guys house.all her room mates and friends know about this." I believe what this girl is saying but im blinded by love so is taking it all as lies, even if its true - theres notin i can do cos ive seen worst things from her Looool well thats just past events but its just a summary of events that happened between us last year I really dont care about her anymore, I have a strong notion that if you love something then you would fight for it and dont give up on it I have seen young ladies wanting 2 commit suicide over issues of the heart and 2 be sincere, if the tables were turned - i think i wouldnt waste anytime apologizing especially as she knows she has wronged both me and my family Obasijoy age has notin 2 do with what she did or why she has refused to apologize - till date she hasnt apologized either for her actions not even to me and i could so predict that she was not going to apologize 2 my family too and she proved me right, we are not in talking terms as we speak, shes just an infrigment of some child's play which took place years ago to me, a shadow of my imagination as i careless what she does or think, I dont even know if im in love with her again or not, Ive never been so strong enough to stand up to her and fought her off asking her to back off away from me, Neither do i care if she loves me or not, She always had her young lustful eyes on the streets even before i met her at age 17 she has already dated as much as 4/5 boys and i did everything do-able just to make sure she stayed between the boundaries of the relationship, to be honest maybe i would have married her but that BIG TEST/Distance and everything crumbled! Thank God for my FOUND STATUS anyways not having 2 care about anyone's feeding, clothing, or anything, best decison ever is never to date a girl from a family who cant afford 3square meals Going for some fucking vacation soon |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by dayokanu(m): 2:57pm On May 19, 2012 |
Moremi over to you What was missing from your childhood that the overwhelming need for a gf is the only thing that could cure it? 1 Like |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 3:37pm On May 19, 2012 |
titans: Thanks obasijoy but i would be quick enough to brief a summary of what happened last year between Oh my! I think your lesson learned is along the correct lines but I would slightly tweak it. Instead of not dating a girl from a poor family, just don't wholeheartedly throw yourself financially into a relationship with anyone who is not your wife the way you did with this girl. The way I see it, that's what made the whole thing complex (apart from your weird inability to let go). She could not make a clean break from you when she fell out of love with you because she felt indebted to you for your financial support to her and her family. You used the fact that you were the financial sponsor to the family to essentially blackmail her into staying with you when it was clear she didn't want to. You were both wrong, she should have broken up with you before moving on to someone else, you should have let her go when she moved on to someone else. As for your 'strong opinion to fight for what you love', please reconsider it. If someone clearly does not want you, fighting for them will only lead to prolonged heartbreak. Reserve your energies for someone who loves you. |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by obasijoy(f): 5:22pm On May 19, 2012 |
Move on with your life then. Life is too short you have to be happy and enjoy it. For her to have dated up to 5 guys *the ones you know ooo* at 17 is incredible! I thought you were the one that dis virgined her. Please move on as you've made up your mind already and don't look back. Wish you luck in your next relationship. |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Busybody2(f): 5:41pm On May 19, 2012 |
Being lovestrung ain't a nice thing oh, chai. Moremi and Coogar should have been unleashed on your ar.se from page one. Anywayz keep your head up, you ain't the first person this would be happening to, so conquer your fear that you might not be able to love again, it is a beautiful and natural thing to be in love, and you are not to blame for trusting and loving and giving your all to someone so undeserving of your love, so stop beating yourself up over this "good riddance to bad rubbish" relationship. You just don't know it yet, but its her loss. . . |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by ATMC(f): 8:21pm On May 19, 2012 |
@titan see d way u painted urself as a saint nd d girl as a devil. I wish d girl's here to defend herself cos there definitely would have been something u did dt she's reacting to: newton's third law. It will be wrong for anybody to judge this girl without hearing her side of d matter. U no try d way u talked about her, making pple to hate her...love speaks no ill of d object of love, how come u failed this law...did u actually love this girl...i doubt. |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by titans: 10:25am On May 20, 2012 |
Thanks Obasijoy - I was vividly warned by memebers of my peer groups About commiting myslf 6yrs ago into a relatnshp with this girl.. Well all d same, I just happened 2 find myslf back 2 square 1 - as I've asked dem Why didn't dey bitch slap me back 2 reality wen dey noticed, I was takin her so seriously They all seem 2 wash their hands away from both of us and @ one time - I almost became a laffin stock amongst my frnds fightin over a 1kobo girl who's roots I've known rite from her recharge card days till I got admission 4 her 2 when she managed 2 graduate flirtin in between even if I must suggest that d 2nd and 3rd year she seem 2 have her head down in d rlatnshp- well all d same Thank God 4 my life @ busy body Please kindly explain what u meant by its her loss I don't want 2 recall d money, times, efforts, investment, sacrifices And even disgrace I've either invested or gone thru in d hands of this girl- clearly I was @ loss here which is why I'm even confused on wat u meant by its her loss @ ATMC Bruv as we speak, I don't even knw myslf cos I don't tink I even love her anymore, I'm a lover and not a fighter but I found myslf fightin over dis girl, I'm jst in my mid 20s and I stil av lots of years ahead of me and least I forget I'm nt in anyway claiming 2 b d all round perfect gentleman Myslf and had both had our issues all round our relationshp - fights and all tins normal teens av durin their relatnshp bt I have always stuck by one tin and which was my relatnshp as I never joked with it - it meant so much 2be during those yrs cos I felt its always a gud tin knowin sum1 u wanna marry so early and yes maybe I wud av married her - I brushed aside so many chances and ladies in my life as a result of dis rlatnshp my NYSC yrs was completely wasted as I ensured she was with me tru out 2 stop any forms of fornication and heart break 2 her - she was d first persn dat knew I was gna leave d country and I never knew she didn't take it so well but she was quick 2 inform me dat she was goin 2 wait 4 me but just 4months away and she was in d hands of a new guy same finals with her which was last year I'm a happy person today knowin fully well dat d fault never came frm me - I don't nid 2 go in2 hiding just cos my woman cheated on me while I was away - she's d one who can't stand anyone who knew wen we dated as she's feelin d heat and disgrace and resorts 2 hidin each time she's witin town (no wonder her family fled her away frm town) - so ATMC in regards 2 ur qustn I'm no saint and I dnt knw if she's a devil but I never wish dat girl well eida now or in her future endevours cos d pain she made me go tru - she wud reap in a 1000 folds - (u can blame me later) I'm not hurt just sayin tins as it is |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by moremi2008(m): 10:43am On May 20, 2012 |
dayokanu: Moremi over to you I refuse to read anymore of his foolishness. His case is hopeless. |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by titans: 8:28pm On May 22, 2012 |
so far so good doing well by myself so far no yeye update from the B! so far |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 8:41pm On May 22, 2012 |
titans: so far so good I think say u don die, you still dey wait for update from the babe? My dear, pls, keep yourself busy with something else abeg, Also change this title! " am dying slowly" |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Virgomaris(f): 9:59am On May 23, 2012 |
Welcome to my club |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Youngpo413: 12:19pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
titans: Downcasted is back with a new ID.. What a shame |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Youngpo413: 5:12pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
jason123: this always baffles me,now tell me,how will forgive someone who hurts you so badly? |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Youngpo413: 5:47pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
titans: abi? |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Youngpo413: 5:48pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
rockafela: lol very true. |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 7:23pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
Interesting thread! I keep saying everybody (male/female) should go throigh the process of at least, 1 heartbreak EARLY enough in life. Very very important! I made this conclusion when I saw a man in his 50's faint cos a woman was about to leave him. Like WTH? 3 Likes |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by gidjah(m): 10:05pm On Oct 09, 2014 |
titans:IF NOT FOR some thing else ,i would hav said u stole my whole life story bro,i love princess so much dat i can die without her presence.got her a job in an oil company,paid for her computer school,wrote waec exams for her,but she ended up following 'big oil boys'!i was ready for marriage and went to her for her consent,she rejected of like a plague!i knelt down to beg, 4where!!i ended up even rushing 4another lady so as just 2kip my heart alive coz i knew i might not make it.d irony of d matter is that i still love her like death though married!can't say wot d mata was!she neva marry til now |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Youngpo413: 5:53am On Oct 10, 2014 |
^^ heartless lady |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by onegig(m): 7:07am On Oct 10, 2014 |
Moral of the story. Stop chasing and trying to keep someone who wants out. It's a complete waste of precious time and energy. Forget that fight for what is yours talk. It never applies in most cases. If it was meant to be, it won't be a one man show. Both of you would be turning stones and rolling mountains to make it work. This is an Old story though but guy even if you forgave her, the trust issues would never let the relationship last or be the same. Its something subconscious and you cannot wish those thoughts away. You may say you have forgiven but truth is, you would always view her from such prism and this would make you act differently. I hope the op has finally moved on now. |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 8:29am On Oct 10, 2014 |
alutacontinua: ^^^ |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 8:58am On Oct 10, 2014 |
titans: ^^^*ROTFL* @Titans/ Youngpo413, stale story, but I hope you're better now. |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 10:58am On Oct 10, 2014 |
1 Like |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 11:38am On Oct 10, 2014 |
alutacontinua: Seriously?! Nah...I'm sure you're exaggerating. Early heartbreaks have their benefits. When did you become a man? |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 11:43am On Oct 10, 2014 |
theLORDreigns: Hard to believe, right? I ain't exaggerating oo I saw it with my two eyes I've always been a man The (f) was some sort of experiment 1 Like |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Youngpo413: 2:07pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
theLORDreigns: you mean I'm titan? |
Re: Help . . Im Dying Slowly by Nobody: 4:13pm On Oct 10, 2014 |
Youngpo413: ^^^^Yes |
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