Efemena_xy: Hmmmm I see you've had a change of heart from your initial plan. Good on you I must say :-)

I don't know if the traditional Ijaw message you mention is similar to the one my grandmother (God bless her soul) did for women. She did that for the best part of 70 years. Oh, by the way we are Isokos so lots of similarities with the Ijaw culture I presume.

Let me find out a bit more about it if I can, then I'll get back to you.

Apologies to you if you found my earlier posts a bit harsh. I've never been one to condone extramarital affairs whatever the reason might be.

No hard feelings sha

Madam,
I bear you no hard feelings.
However I advise that posters should always have a little sympathy with people who come here with problems.Some of us are on the rack of life and the words offered here could be the last hope between life and death.
Back to the issue at hand we visited the massage home and completed all registrations.Apparently the method used is external massaging of the womb area in order to improve circulation of blood to the womb area,and according to her setting of the womb.In fact we met women who had applied the same system of treatment with success,so I am keeping my fingers crossed on this.The treatment is to last for three months.So I am hoping and praying that I will be back on this thread in a few months time to confirm success.
Once again I wish to thank every one who has posted on this thread.May God be with all of you and your families.

I see brother that you've got this figured out. I'm glad u aint resulting to ur earlier plan. Please, don't just look at the success story. Also, try and find out if it has any side effect on d women.

All the best.

@op u didnt reply to my question. Well i only wanted to help but it would have involved you coming down to Delta state. Anyway i hope and pray the Lord will put smiles on u and ur wife‘s face no matter how he does it or who he uses. Goodluck!

PrettyCindy:

Don't mind him. His mind is already made up and its possible he has started sleeping with them/her already. He is probably feeling guilty and wants to see if other guys will support him. Even look at the way he addresses his wife as (the wife, not my wife). He doesn't respect her one single bit. Just don't infect her with any disease. Self righteous hypocrite.

Can you tell me how I should respond to this, please?

That is not the post am referring to. I asked u in another post if u live in Delta state. Anyway no probs. Bye

Pretty Cindy,

May be you were too hasty to judge

Hmmm. . . . Words of wisdom CC

@chaircover, sometimes I guess a person just needs some unbiased opinions.

I have little to no faith in traditional remedies for these types of issues. Anyways, people may not want to hear this, but those of use that live abroad know how imcompetent most naija doctors are compared to their peers overseas. There is a problem somewhere with either you or your wife. If there is no problem, perhaps you guys are not banging enough which I doubt. My advise for you is to find a fertility doctor in Nigeria with significant experience overseas or better yet travel overseas and get seen by competent medical doctors. It's difficult to remedy the problem without knowing the root cause.

chaircover: Maybe because we dont have the full picture and we are not related to people who have these issues, but sometimes we are very hasty to judge situations without reading between the lines. We also fail to place ourselves in peoples positions. There was a thread where someone was asking what people will do if they found another woman in their matrimonial bed. many said many different things, but the truth is no one really knows what one will do until God forbid one gets there.

This man needn't have come here to share his story. I am sure that he has a number of friends and family who would have given him opposite sided of advice and all he had to do was to go with the one that suited him. A lot of the times, people have a conscience and they know right from wrong and all they need is confirmation. Most times its a cry for help.

The guy has some unresolved issues with his wife around the not being a virgin when they married etc which he needs to get rid off like yesterday, and he needs to move on from there. Ija lo de ti orin dowe and if the woman had given him triplet sons, I doubt he will be here talking about her not being a virgin. so he needs to erase this from his mind and move on from that.

I am a firm believer that the right advice in the right words and tone of voice do go a long way in hitting the right spot. No one knows the other person behind the computer and what the person is actually going through. I just hope that one day one of us (me included cos i can be rather harsh sometimes) wont be the cause of tipping an already vulnerable person over the edge.

All this internet "mothering" and deciphering of innermost thoughts rubs me the wrong way. You can't possibly have 100% complete information about any individual OP's situation. People reply threads based on what limited information has been provided. We can only hope that whoever is seeking advice on here is also mature enough to take any advice given with a grain of salt. Adults with normal mental capacities don't base important decisions solely on Nairaland opinions anyway. They only come on here to validate previously held views and to expose themselves to opposing arguments.

I come here to be entertained and to learn a little bit about my fellow Nigerians. I could care less if somebody jumped off a bridge because of something he/she read on the internet (that person would have committed suicide anyway, with or without the internet).

moremi2008:
All this internet "mothering" and deciphering of innermost thoughts rubs me the wrong way. You can't possibly have 100% complete information about any individual OP's situation. People reply threads based on what limited information has been provided. We can only hope that whoever is seeking advice on here is also mature enough to take any advice given with a grain of salt.

I am glad you said "HOPE"

moremi2008: Adults with normal mental capacities don't base important decisions solely on Nairaland opinions anyway. They only come on here to validate previously held views and to expose themselves to opposing arguments.

People may not . . . but words have a way of creeping into our subconsciousness with out we knowing it. Eventually, when making the decision, we find the traces of things we have read, heard, seen on it.

Tgirl4real:

I am glad you said "HOPE"



People may not . . . but words have a way of creeping into our subconsciousness with out we knowing it. Eventually, when making the decision, we find the traces of things we have read, heard, seen on it.

But then you can make the same argument for things we hear on TV or even on the streets! Nollywood is not going to stop producing foolish drivel and fantasies because they are afraid people will base important life decisions on what they see in the movies! Same thing for the internet! We can't possibly hold ourselves responsible for how people read or interpret our words on here! If an adult reads my opinion and decides to go act on it, the repercussions of his actions are his alone, and not my business. All we offer on here are words, opinions, jokes, insults, stories, lies, propaganda etc etc... readers make of those words make of them what they please. It's a free and very adult world, imho.

chaircover: Maybe because we dont have the full picture and we are not related to people who have these issues, but sometimes we are very hasty to judge situations without reading between the lines. We also fail to place ourselves in peoples positions. There was a thread where someone was asking what people will do if they found another woman in their matrimonial bed. many said many different things, but the truth is no one really knows what one will do until God forbid one gets there.

This man needn't have come here to share his story. I am sure that he has a number of friends and family who would have given him opposite sided of advice and all he had to do was to go with the one that suited him. A lot of the times, people have a conscience and they know right from wrong and all they need is confirmation. Most times its a cry for help.

The guy has some unresolved issues with his wife around the not being a virgin when they married etc which he needs to get rid off like yesterday, and he needs to move on from there. Ija lo de ti orin dowe and if the woman had given him triplet sons, I doubt he will be here talking about her not being a virgin. so he needs to erase this from his mind and move on from that.

I am a firm believer that the right advice in the right words and tone of voice do go a long way in hitting the right spot. No one knows the other person behind the computer and what the person is actually going through. I just hope that one day one of us (me included cos i can be rather harsh sometimes) wont be the cause of tipping an already vulnerable person over the edge.

People give their advice based on the information presented by the owner of the thread. This is an internet forum where different people with different outlooks on life give their opinions on a problem posted.

It's the responsibility of the thread starter to provide as much information as possible so others can have a balanced view of the issue at hand. Go through the poster's initial posts. He started off quite determinedly to try his luck elsewhere. Although most people were against this option from the onset, their tone was understanding and not harsh.

A lot of alternatives were suggested but it all seemed to fall on deaf ears. The poster merely reiterated his initial plans. That's when the tone changed and harsher responses were posted. Afterall, what's the point in asking for advice if you decide to ignore helpful suggestions, but would rather stick to your guns? That to me spells a number of things / opinions of him I wouldn't want to go into more detail on. It wasn't until his what? 4th or 5th post that he admitted there was an alternative, re: traditional massages.

I also do not believe suggestions given in an anonymous, faceless forum are the be-all-and-end-all that would tip a person over the edge. Such a person would have gone that direction irrespective of what's been posted. I have very strong views on extra-marital affairs whatever the circumstances might be and I'll shout it from the rooftops if need be. If I'm deemed harsh because of that, then so be it.

Nevertheless, just as the poster conceeded that there are alternative options worth pursuing, I too can conceed with him and apologize for being a bit hard on him. We live in a dynamic world where change is inevitable. Now that's my opinion.

moremi2008:

But then you can make the same argument for things we hear on TV or even on the streets! Nollywood is not going to stop producing foolish drivel and fantasies because they are afraid people will base important life decisions on what they see in the movies! Same thing for the internet! We can't possibly hold ourselves responsible for how people read or interpret our words on here! If an adult reads my opinion and decides to go act on it, the repercussions of his actions are his alone, and not my business. All we offer on here are words, opinions, jokes, insults, stories, lies, propaganda etc etc... readers make of those words make of them what they please. It's a free and very adult world, imho.

We are on the same page

I wonder if the OP had any success with this traditional method of treatment on his wife?

BrotheR18: I have been married to my wife for 10 years now,without the marriage yielding any fruits.As we all know the fruit of any marriage is children.So for 10 years now no fruit of this marriage.I do not want to write a long missive but you the members of the forum need to understand a bit about my problem.
when I married my wife I was a virgin and I assumed my wife was one because we did not engage in pre marital sex because of my religious beliefs.(Born again christian).I have the utmost respect for women so I made sure that I concluded every rite of marriage totally(Dowry etc).I made sure the traditional,church and registry rites were carried out totally.
After the marriage I discovered my wife was not a virgin,and appeared to be more experienced than me in the ways of the world,but I forgave her because of my religion because all things have passed away and become new.However after the first year of marriage she failed to take in and get pregnant,I started to become a bit worried,although my faith in God remained unshaken.
By the sixth year I an my wife were really worried.By this time relations on both sides of the family had started to become worried too and had started to kick in with all kinds of theories and stories.All this time I keep to my faith and so did my wife who had also by this time become a believer.We visited all kinds of doctors and did all kinds of tests but to no avail.My relatives started to advise my about taking another wife or trying my luck elsewhere.

All the above na useless story! Virginity at marriage does not determine your ability to procreate. There are many virgins out there who will be shocked that they are unable to have kids and so your story up there sounds more like that from someone who is uneducated and needs to get some serious education on how babies are made( at least).

BrotheR18:
To cut a long story short,we are in the 10 th year of marriage and still no fruit of the womb.It is driving me insane and I am losing my faith.I have started to notice other women and thoughts of divorcing my wife have started to cross my mind although I have not discussed this with her yet.I am feeling I need to try else where to show I am a man.You can not understand the feeling of seeing people who got married years after you rejoicing over the fruit of the womb,I am happy for such people but It still tears me up inside.My love for my wife is starting to wear away and I am just fed up.My mum is also on my case as well as my siblings.I think I am going insane and feel like ending it all and starting a fresh.At times I look at my wife and think about the approaching menopause.I think I have lost my faith in religion,because they keep telling you to ntry,try and try without any concrete suggestions.How long will I keep the faith.Should I get a divorce?
Should I put her away or try and get another woman pregnant behind her back?
Please I need matured advise,before I lose my mind.Thank you.

Ever thought of adoption? I mean it is not by force to have kids in a marriage. There are so many marriages that are childless and doing great. I get that whole "We must drag our own DNA into this world because we are married" ideology that many africans seem to cling to pretending it is what God said SHOULD happen but you do know that God also made those orphans out there in need of parents too, right? They are no less human that whatever baby you are thinking of dragging into this world there.

TheMadame: I wonder if the OP had any success with this traditional method of treatment on his wife?

That's one thing i hate about NL,ppl don't give updates to their stories.

friedmeat:

That's one thing i hate about NL,ppl don't give updates to their stories.

Your head de there!
Another children freak;imagine this level of worry after typying with his own fingers that the doctors said nothing is wrong with them medically.

Oga poster;pls note that there are a a couple of things that could prevent a woman from conceiving,heat from fire,anxiety,low sperm count and as someone has noted earlier,irregular ovulation periods.
Chief among these is ANXIETY,it causes to be launched, all other system faluires.should your beloved wife be anxious,which am sure is possible because of the number of years you people have waited,she won't be able to conceive.
Before you divorce your beloved wife,do proper physical and since you are a christian,spiritual check for yourself and her.
Its important you two sit down and have a heart to heart discuss on this matter,agree and "start work"on yourselves.
Your's trully has seen cases of this nature with spectacular christians,take your petitions to the lord in prayer.
Before long,the lord will proffer a solution which am sure is in front of you but you can't see due to the high level of anxiety which must have beclouded your view.
All the very best.

There is no need to 'get' another woman pregnant behind her back. . . GET ANOTHER WOMAN PREGNANT ASAP. . . .'IN FRONT OF HER BACK". . . That way, your wife will be forced to LEAVE BY HERSELF. . . Getting a divorce from her by any other means is NOT POSSIBLE, because, you will not be BRAVE enough to say goodbye and part amicably!

Jellitah: There is no need to 'get' another woman pregnant behind her back. . . GET ANOTHER WOMAN PREGNANT ASAP. . . .'IN FRONT OF HER BACK". . . That way, your wife will be forced to LEAVE BY HERSELF. . . Getting a divorce from her by any other means is NOT POSSIBLE, because, you will not be BRAVE enough to say goodbye and part amicably!

Na wa oh!

Jellita, I learn new things from you everyday...

Abeg, explain...which one be in front of her back again??

Efemena_xy:

Na wa oh!

Jellita, I learn new things from you everyday...

Abeg, explain...which one be in front of her back again??

The opposite of 'behind' her back is 'in front of her back'!
UNDER HER KORO KORO H-EYES!!!!