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Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Akpors, The Poor Husband...laff It Out / Gosh!laff It Out. / Laff It Off: (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 11:37pm On Jun 03, 2012
A guy was wooing a lady he just met. After
everything, the lady asked him, 'are
you in school, & what course are you
studying'? He lied to her & said 'Yes,
i'm in school & i'm studying Food
science'.
Two weekz later, the girl saw
him washing dishes in a
local restaurant. Shocked, she exclaimed:
'gosh! What are you doing here?' He
smiled & said 'I'M D0ING MY
I.T.

More to come 4rm moi youngsage...

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Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Lagusta(m): 9:11am On Jun 04, 2012
Youngsage: A guy was wooing a lady he just met. After
everything, the lady asked him, 'are
you in school, & what course are you
studying'? He lied to her & said 'Yes,
i'm in school & i'm studying Food
science'.
Two weekz later, the girl saw
him washing dishes in a
local restaurant. Shocked, she exclaimed:
'gosh! What are you doing here?' He
smiled & said 'I'M D0ING MY
I.T.

More to come 4rm moi youngsage...

dis I.T make sense ooo, lol
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 10:39am On Jun 04, 2012
A distinguished young woman on
a flight from Ireland asked the
Priest beside her,
'Father, may I ask a favour?'
'Of course child. What may I do for
you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive
woman's
electronic hair dryer for my
Mother's birthday that is
unopened and well over the
Customs limits, and I'm afraid
they'll confiscate it.
Is there any way you could carry it
through customs for me? Under
your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear,
but I must warn you: I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no
one will question you.' When they
got to Customs, she let the priest
go ahead of her.
The official asked, 'Father, do you
have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to
my waist, I have nothing to
declare.'
The official thought this answer
strange, so asked, 'And what do
you have to declare from your
waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument
designed to be used on a woman,
but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official
said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 10:45am On Jun 04, 2012
A certain girls private school in
P.H recently was faced with a
unique problem. A number of
form 3 girls use lipstick and
would put it on in the
bathroom.That was fine, but after
they put on their lipstick they
would press their lips to the
mirror leaving dozens of little lip
prints. Every night, the matron
would remove them and the next
day... see more, the girls would put
them back. Finally the principal
decided that something had to be
done. She called all the girls to the
bathroom and met them there
with the matron. She explained
that all these lip prints were
causing a major problem for the
matron who had to clean the
mirrors every night.To
demonstrate how difficult it had
been to clean the mirrors, she
asked the matron to show the
girls how much effort was
required...
The matron took out a
long-handled squeegee, dipped it
in the toilet bowl and then cleaned the
mirror with it.
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 10:50am On Jun 04, 2012
Actual dialogue of a former
WordPerfect Customer Support
employee and a caller.
Operator: 'computer
assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having
trouble with WordPerfect. '
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing
along, and all of a sudden the
words
went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does
your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept
anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in
WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C:
prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you
move your cursor around the
screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I
told you, it won't accept anything
I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor
have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the
screen on it that looks like a
TV.Does it have a little light that
tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the
back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into
it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord
to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind
the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged
into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need
you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and
tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if
it is?'
Caller: 'No..'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put
your knee on something and lean
way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I
don't have the right angle -- it's
because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off,
and the only light I have is coming
in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office
light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power
failure.'
Operator: 'A power ...... A power
failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the
boxes and manuals and packing
stuff that your computer came
in?'
Caller: 'Well,yes,I keep them in the
closet.'
Operator: Good. Go get them, and
unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it.
Then take it back to the store you
bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I
suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator:'Tell them you're too
silly to own a computer!'

1 Like

Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 10:51am On Jun 04, 2012
In a party, a beautiful Gal
approached a boy and asked..,
"Hey Handsome, are you going to
dance..?"
Boy felt so happy
And replied,
"Yeah, of course
Then the Gal said..,
"That's good..,
Can I have your chair please?!
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 10:52am On Jun 04, 2012
Comments... More still coming
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Murphy7h4: 3:06pm On Jun 04, 2012
Yeah!!

1 Like

Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by kay9(m): 12:56pm On Jun 12, 2012
grin

1 Like

Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Dyt(f): 1:11pm On Jun 12, 2012
nice ones
loool

1 Like

Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 2:33pm On Sep 18, 2012
>>>Husband: If I die, will you
remarry......?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister.
But if I die will you remarry...?
Husb and: No, I'll also stay with
your sister...!!.cheesy. . <<<
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 2:36pm On Sep 18, 2012
A lady jumped a signal.
Policeman: D'you know what u just did?
Lady:plz
let me go. I'm a
school teacher. I am getting
late for my class.
Policeman: Aahaa, So you are a
teacher. I have waited
...for this moment all my life!
Now write "I WILL NEVER
JUMP A SIGNAL", 1000
TIMES. smiley
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 2:44pm On Sep 18, 2012
grin

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Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 2:48pm On Sep 18, 2012
A lady was entering a Hotel with
her lover, then suddenly she sees
her husband coming out of the
Hotel with the Girlfrend.
She quickly thinks of a plan &
before the Husband could say a word, she shouted "so its true u
are cheating on me, i have just
been hearing from neighbors &
thank God i came with a witness
(pointing to her lover) "
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 3:02pm On Sep 18, 2012
A mad guy in a mental hospital places
2 stones in his ears like
headphones.
The doctors ask
him,
"Hey! what are you trying to do??"
He replies, "i want to listen to rock music."
Re: Laff It Off! Must Read!!! Enjoy >>> by Youngsage: 3:24pm On Sep 18, 2012
Youngsage: Comments... More still coming
grin
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