PortHarcourtBoy:

As regards cooking, she doesn't like my presence around the kitchen, when in actual sense my presence is needed in order to guide her on what and what to use while cooking, right quantities of these ingredients and also the sequencing...but she doesn't like this

If we are preparing certain meals together and I tell her what ingredients to be used, she sometimes insists on the addition of some ingredients which are a taboo in standard cooking practice, eg. - adding curry and thyme to my local soups, if my tastebuds find it funny, I discontinue eating...when I complain, her response would be such continental spices are used for the preparation of soups in her mother's house. We are not in her Mother's house for crying out loud, this is my house and you must learn how to cook my way...

PortHarcourtBoy: I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

iykak47: Portharcourt bobo, its not part of my identity to hit a man when he is down, you get my drift.oya move front and face gbege

PortHarcourtBoy:

My Dear, we both know if you step out, there's a sharp sharp replacement...even though I've not considered that option yet

So whatever ur decision, nothing do me...I just don't wanna break your heart for old time sake, and maybe for love sake...

Common rice you can't boil, custard you can't make, soup - zero, stew - 20 litres of water or oil, what is so difficult in humbling urself and learning from me or someone else?...Na wa oh!

I have advised you like a sister... Go and learn how to cook! Haba!! Na my food you wan carry dey play "okosoh"? A wise girl should have done something about this cooking issue a long time ago.

You can't cook, clean or nyash wella... and you expect me to be smiling at you and give kudos for that?

mexzony: My dear just reading this post as a guy makes me angry and asking what kind of guy are u with who cannot see past ur faults,i mean that is what love is about.the ability to feel for someone even when u know they are not perfect.the hand writing is on the wall and it is not until you get physically abused that u will realise u are in trouble.Long and short of the story he does not deserve you,this guy clearly has issues.save ur self now before u do something u will regret.marriage is not a plaything,it is serious bizness so make sure it is what U̶̲̥̅̊ want.a stitch in time saves nine.

mexzony: My dear just reading this post as a guy makes me angry and asking what kind of guy are u with who cannot see past ur faults,i mean that is what love is about.the ability to feel for someone even when u know they are not perfect.the hand writing is on the wall and it is not until you get physically abused that u will realise u are in trouble.Long and short of the story he does not deserve you,this guy clearly has issues.save ur self now before u do something u will regret.marriage is not a plaything,it is serious bizness so make sure it is what U̶̲̥̅̊ want.a stitch in time saves nine.

ifihearam: Na wa for dis life ooooo
See the way all these babes dey support rubbish becos all of una na desame
Oya make doctorazz leave the relationship wether manna go fall frm heaven
Sometimes I wonder the kind of upbringing some girls here have. You don't see anything wrong with a full blown woman that can't cook,clean a house let's take the sex aspect out first.
Then somtin is wrong with all of you
Okay of what importance is she na.

Even some guys are abusing phman on this very issue,u guys are doomed
Lemme ask this babe,you know urself because ur utterances have been like ur husband or bf is ur slave that's why u see nothing wrong in a woman knowing how to cook becos ur husband is ur slave,I pity the fool u married becos one day when he realises,u will find urself in the labor market looking for another mumu.

Please the ladies,what would you have advised portharcourt man if he was ur blood brother?
Some of you here are shameless hypocrites
You pretend and lie too much

freshmoney:

You are pathetically insane you he-goat. Moronic adviser. You think you low-life, nascent boy can give a say into someone's marriage? Mr discombobulated, befuddled sand munching he-goat.

@OP:

We Nigerian men are meant to react, hyper-react due to various circumstances we experience around us. It is either due to our upbringing or present situation. Please bear with us! In as much as your fiance don't get you arrested with physical threats, please do bear with him. You can both go for marriage consultation. Watch lots of romantic movies, series, programmes together; soon he will begin changing for good.

Moreso, marriage is not a bed of roses, we married people have our ups and downs, we just have to adapt with each other's etiquette. You guys should understand your differences and sort it out real good. You are adults , ain't ya? And next time, search within yourself before coming to Nairaland to table your family matter. He as your fiance sure will have one or two things to say regarding your making him temperamental.

sexkillz:
. . .And you are a what? A FOOL!!!

Nonsense!

freshmoney:

Mind the gobbledygook you spew freak. Kiddo, cry mom little tears and suck some titt/ies. Don't ever talk through your an.us again. You're only welcome on children debate; not adults. Simpleton!

sexkillz:
Shut up boy. . . Go wash your hands, sit in your favorite spot and play with your p[i]e[/i]nis. . . Reply when you are done, fool!

henrico247: Every man should learn to respect his woman's right, don't forget that its through a woman that God gave you life. A woman needs affection,attention protection and love. You really need somebody that will treat you right and respect a woman like you. As for me o o , l truely love,adore and respect my girl friend and l respect every of her opinion. She is just like a mother to me. Infact,she is my goddess, l adore her so much.

henrico247: Every man should learn to respect his woman's right, don't forget that its through a woman that God gave you life. A woman needs affection,attention protection and love. You really need somebody that will treat you right and respect a woman like you. As for me o o , l truely love,adore and respect my girl friend and l respect every of her opinion. She is just like a mother to me. Infact,she is my goddess, l adore her so much.

Doctorazz: Henrico dats grea,dats the kind of love I'm looking 4,by Gods grace it'll come 2 pass.good 2 no men like u Exist outt there.just never been opportuned to meet any.

~Kaylee~:


Hey Doctorazz! I hope you did not go on with calling off the engagement? Take it slow, don't make decisions in a haste.

You have been dating your man for five years but you have only recently come to realize the kind of person he is and what his preferences are. Have you tried modifying your cooking methods to suit his desires? If that's what would hold your relationship together, you should certainly try that. If he says he wants A, don't try to force B on him.
You have to meet him halfway dear. Open your mind to learn from him. I know! It could be pretty embarrassing learning to cook from your boyfriend as my elder sister had to learn how to cook from her husband (when they got married) because she wasn't interested in improving her culinary skills when she was single, and today, they are happily married. Just take it as one of the many hurdles you have to jump in securing a successful relationship.

If what PHboy said about your unwillingness to clean is true, then my dear, you have to change. No man wants a wife who would turn his house into a pig's sty. Trust me, cleaning is never a hobby for anyone. If I had my way I would sleep all day and not move a leg, but it is part of our responsibilities as ladies to ensure that our surroundings are tidy. You don't have to scrub until your hands becomes sore, just make an effort. Initially, it's gonna be a conscious process but as you get used to it, these things would come easy to you.

As for bedmatics, are you married to him yet? NO! You guys shouldn't be having sex in the first place so don't bother with that. If he is not satisfied with what you give him, he has to re-examine his head.

About insulting his parents, girl, that his a huge NEGATIVE. A big NO NO. It's hard to keep shut when someone keeps bombarding you with insults but if you must retaliate, can you limit the insults to him? Or better yet, keep your cool and not say anything? This is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, you shouldn't be slinging cusses at each other.

@PHboy, I feel your pain but you come across as harsh and it seems you have a very caustic tongue. Take it easy on the lady. Every man desires a Stepford wife. A woman that models perfection but let's take a field trip to reality, not every woman is perfect. You can mold her into the better woman you want her to be, but you can do so without raining insults on her at every opportunity you get. It's not cool.

She's your girlfriend. You shouldn't make her feel less than a human being because of her shortcomings.I read where you said you'd get an immediate replacement for her should she decide to leave. Bro, that's just wrong and she deserves an apology for that. She's not a piece of furniture that you can afford to discard because it has one deficiency or the other, she is your wife to be. She deserves your respect, please.

I hope you guys are able to resolve your differences like the adults that you are.
God bless.