@Zandra1 and Hilli666
The issue might not just be Inferiority Complex but that popular brainwash that the man must always be submitted too irrespective of what the man does.

@kembaby
Please realize that only the living can pray. If she stays with him till she dies, then she can't pray for a change, can she?. that's only logical,, innit?
She can live elsewhere, not neccesarily under the same roof for God to hear and answer her prayers. I am NOT an advocate of divorce except in extreme circustances.
I however subscribe to seperation especially when abuse is involved.

Honey, you already know the answer to your question. Your mind and your gutt is telling you to leave listen to it. Don't let these idiots judge you because you stayed for 11 years. Its clear that you stayed to try to make things work. I'm not going to tell you to pray because God knows and I that after staying for 11 years you have already.

You have daughters thats whats important here. They are watching you. Show them that you respect yourself and value your life.
Beat you to a pulp that is truly a COWARD. Lazy useless coward,

You need to make your mind up for once and all and focus on providing a safe lovable environment for your children.

I know you want to hold on to idea of being married but honey you need to face reality.

I wish you the best. Feel free to hit me up if you want to chat.

Please ignore these small minded people, so quick to past judgement. Remember you belong to God not your husband. He has no right to beat you. If he wants to cheat you can't stop that, but you don't have to let him beat you.

Be wise my sis.

From a Real African American Woman, Love ya!

Another thing I just read someone tell you to be submissive. Yes I believe that women and to be submissive and that the man should be the head of the house. Her husband is not leading he is cheating and beating her.

Ladies be submissive but do not subject yourself to abuse. Use wisdom. You don't have to get your a** beat to pacify his ego.

Vipi Bimkubwa,

There is that much that one can take in a marriage, beyond which
you are doing yourself a dis-service.  Where there is no Love, Respect and Faithfulness
that marriage can only fail because the three are the foundation stones of marriage.
Evaluate your situation well, pray and then make the right decisions for yourself and
you will know if it is the right decision, like someone said, your gut feeling will help you out.
I wish you well my sister.

As for being submissive, submission only comes with love. It is very easy to submit to a loving
and caring husband but the opposite of submission is rebellion, which is what comes when a husband
is unloving, unfaithful and disrespectful. There can be no submission in the absence of love - do not be deceived.

Being submissive to a bully is like emptying your bank account and submitting all your money to a robber.

i will not advise u to leave ur matrimonial home for another woman to come in pls for GOD sake be patience and have faith in God, do pray for him he is going to change byy God grace

delegirl:

i will not advise u to leave your matrimonial home for another woman to come in please for GOD sake be patience and have faith in God, do pray for him he is going to change byy God grace

Listing all the craps in this comment would be an isult to my intelligence!

o dear this is a pickle- i hope the op has left the ba**tard.

almondjoy: I really do not understand the kinds of females Nigeria is turning out these days. 

@poster

You are actually looking for "guidance" after 11 years of marriage?--What have you been doing all these 11 years?  All I can do is wonder at you with your level of educaton.  Please do not teach those daughters of yours this nonsense you are practicing in your marriage so they end up as "doormats" in some irresponsible men's hands!  In 2008?

What did your mother teach you about marriage? --Or did you just run away and get married?  Did you have aunts, sisters and so on--successfully married famales in your families?  Please go and ask them how they coped with these kinds of situations.

Please ladies and gentlemen if you cannot take care of marital issues--do no get married at all!  Some of you do not meet the basic requirements and that is "common sense 001"!

I personally, have nothing to advice you on--you deal with your mess! You never tell a deaf man that there is a war going on.  When he sees others running for cover, he too will run without asking questions!

Rubbish!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BABY ALMONDJOY!!! I HAVE ALWAYS RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCKED!!!!

bimkubwa:
I am a married woman for 11 years now and have two beautiful and intelligent daughters. They are the sunshine of my life. Incidentally I am also a very educated woman anticipating to get a Phd in the next year or so. I have a decent job as a lecturer in a private university. I met my husband 12 years ago before I even made some of these achievements in life. I was studying for my 1st degree when we met. He by that time was employed in an engineering company. Education-wise I am more educated than him since he has only a diploma in engineering, he is a very bright and intelligent person which was one thing that attracted me to him since we had these very interesting conversations.

These are some of the things that he has done to me that really make me want to end this relationship and I really feel fed-up to this point.

1. He has been unfaithful to me and I have caught him twice. The second time he ended up beating me into a pulp and I tell you I find that very hard to forgive.

2. He is very lazy. He does not want to do anything to improve our lives at all and this has been going on for over 8 years now. He would rather sit down and browse the internet the whole day than spend quality time with his children.

The list can go on but I am getting so frustrated as time goes on. I have not finished the whole story but I need guidance here,

I'm sure there is a particular guy some where deceiving your fishbrain and you are just looking for an excuse to dump your husband,how come you just realised this after 11yrs,typical naija b!tch ...I pity men that will take any naija lady serious to the extent of foolishly marrying one.nonsense.

queensmith:
o dear this is a pickle- i hope the op has left the ba**tard.

you called someones husband ba**tard?do you think its easy to find a husband this days?ladies should learn to respect men no matter what.

Youngpo413:
you called someones husband ba**tard?do you think its easy to find a husband this days?ladies should learn to respect men no matter what.

Wow - you're actually being serious? Be sure to hammer that into your daughters, sisters and children.

Useless men still need foolish women to take advantage of.

queensmith:


Wow - you're actually being serious? Be sure to hammer that into your daughters, sisters and children.

Useless men still need foolish women to take advantage of.

yeah most women are naturally foolish,that's why they are called fishbrains.No man is useless and I'm sure of that,Queensmith have you found a husband yet?