Am an edo gal dating an ibo guy and he wants to maay mi,he is a very nice and sweet young man ready to do anything 4 mi.my problem is that his sisters never leave him alone,always demanding
and they kip telling him that you know its just for now by the time u get married we will stop.but we all know thats not true.
its not like he is rich or something,he is just trying to make ends meet,and they never ask him how he is faring . he is always broke cos of these gals.he gives them monthly allowances and they work,they come to his house unnanouced. and to mi this is not fair at all.ve always heard that this is something about igbo gals and i can see it for myself.
i asked him to stop all these things cos if he wants to start his own family,he needs moni to do so.i kip finding out new developments about these gals and he rises up to their defense some how .he started saying its like i dont like them and its not true,i just want to set things right or else they will become a bigger problem in future.he is a very quiet person and not until he met mi he started becoming open minded,he used to tell his sisters everything and they give him selfish advice. he doesnt have friends either.i need help!!

At least u knw b4 u enter in2 marriage, by going in2 marriage with him ul have 2 live with d fact dat his sisters are demanding, so make ur decision, it could stil be no I wont marry him

Are you sure you want to marry that Igbo boy? because if you carry that tribal thing into his life you will regret it. At the moment he's unmarried and he has a family which is not you!! Until you two marries each other you have no right whatsoever to deny him the opportunity to be with his family and spend his money there, you are an outisder in their family and might not know everything going on there and don't be surprised that he is building a home and the sisters come to collect money for it or the money is for his mother.

If you are so worked up why not open a joint account with him so that both of you will be putting money there every month for the future, because i am sure if you are working you will be sending money to your Edo family and not to the guy, now that both of you are not married. Please enough of all these Igbo,Edo and Yoruba that has absolutely nothing to do with the story

well romeo,thats the point! if there was a house he was building or something,i wont ave a cause to complain,but that is not the case.nobody is saving any money for him,he gives them for their personal stuff to the detriment of himself.ve seen it happen a lot of times.he is a nice person like i said, to a fault and he likes them no doubt am not against that but they are taking advantage of this.

   its obvious men like u would put your wives in 2nd place ova your sisters and mothers,instead of seting the records straight from the beginnig,because u lack the ability to draw the line.

nobody says a man shouldnt send money to his parents,but a case where the girls have jobs and he places them all on allowance,dats not too much to say stop,cos the lady will b tagged wicked by the time he stops it wen dy are married.
if thats the advice you will give ur sister am really sorry

You have not married him yet you want to dictate how he treats his family. No wahala. What if you pull him away from his family and they hate him cos of that and at the long run you dump him who will he follow. By the way if he cannot help his sisters now that he is a bachelor when do you think he will do that when he marries you?. What you felt to remeber is that you are still nobody in his lyf until he marries(Dont be suprise that his parents dont know about you) you and if you dont like his sisters they might as well advice him against you. So play your card well if you want him

@presido sisters that work,c'mon,,haba !!! i cant do that to my brother

oh,cos thats not fair now.am not my brothers responsibility .of course

ave met his parents so thats no issue


meanwhile we are planning on tieing the knot early next year year,i believe as a lady

who is in a relationship heading for the next level should show concerns in her mans life and finances cos u are starting a home together.if we dont channel our resources well. we wouldd both fail.and i can swear those gals wont be there to rescue either of us cos they will be busy in their own homes

milkyway:

well romeo,thats the point! if there was a house he was building or something,i wont ave a cause to complain,but that is not the case.nobody is saving any money for him,he gives them for their personal stuff to the detriment of himself.ve seen it happen a lot of times.he is a nice person like i said, to a fault and he likes them no doubt am not against that but they are taking advantage of this.

its obvious men like u would put your wives in 2nd place ova your sisters and mothers,instead of seting the records straight from the beginnig,because u lack the ability to draw the line.

I was only being real and i wouldn't like to give you false advice, it's men like me that put their "girlfriends" and not wifes in 2nd place where my sisters are until our relationship is defined,
Try to know his sisters and becomes friends or whatever but if you try to separate them you will end up being one leaving

Well u cant change him, if u want 2 marry him obviously u hv 2 marry his family, u still hv d exit option

uchetobi:

Well u can't change him, if u want 2 marry him obviously u hv 2 marry his family, u still hv d exit option

Word!

if you know its gonna be a problem to you, then leave him.

thanks you guys for your responses,am glad i posted this,

its given mi an idea of wat am in for

Topics like this one on Nairaland are capable of causing funny problems between guys and their girls. Once girls start getting addicted to such topics, they start to eye their men closely and read meaning into anything the men say or do.

WOMEN!!!!!!!  Nairaland is a very good forum, but if u get addicted, it can split u and your man ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

People come onto this forum and advise people to leave their men or women, they make it sound easy, like love or tolerance or peace is not an option. I just think it aint fair. If you wanna give any advice, put yourself in their shoes, advise them to go the extra mile, and if all options lead to a failure - give them some straight talking but leave them to make up their own minds about which direction to go. Your's is to advise, not to direct ohhhhhhhhh.

I am speaking from experience.

hi so watz ur point,?

hi whitelexi,please advise mi genuinely as a woman to a woman'
i need your advise please

[b]People come onto this forum and advise people to leave their men or women, they make it sound easy, like love or tolerance or peace is not an option. I just think it aint fair. If you want to give any advice, put yourself in their shoes, advise them to go the extra mile, and if all options lead to a failure - give them some straight talking but leave them to make up their own minds about which direction to go. Your's is to advise, not to direct ohhhhhhhh[/b]h


please talk to mi

milkyway:

hi whitelexi,please advise mi genuinely as a woman to a woman'
i need your advise please

Hi Milkyway

Let me start by saying that i'm a young ibo man, i'm an only son, as well as the last kid in the house. I've got 8 sisters born before me, the eldest one is 20 yrs older than me. She's old enough to be my mum and her first kid is just 3yrs younger than me.

Having said that, i think i am very lucky to be the last kid, just imagine what would happen if i were to be the first kid

I think if you are the first your parents wouldn't have gone that far to have eight sisters. While they were searching for you the got the many gyls. Anyway you go collect many dowries. lol

whats your problem.if he is not to give them who will?

point of correctn nt all ibo girls r like that,there is no tribe that does nt ve its own wahala,bt anyway allow him help them in his own little way.

Not sure why you even bothered to put yourself in this kind of predictament

Sisters still hounding their brothers despite the fact that they get salaries themselves. Pathetic

If you love yourself, you had better leave. Families can become unbearable especially in Nigeria.

If leaving isnt an option YET, I say stop talking to him about it, gauge the sisters and see how they treat you. If they are demanding and also MEAN towards you, run.

to the Op, are you working?

as for the advice of joint account, please ignore it. Like you need him taking out of the joint account to provide for HIS family. Nonense.

D-reloaded:


as for the advice of joint account, please ignore it. Like you need him taking out of the joint account to provide for HIS family. Nonense.

At the moment he is spending his own money and not hers

yea and i'd rather it stay that way than her adding her own share and he does the same with it.

I just hope the OP is working herself and not depending on MR Alanu Samaria (Good Samartian)

This is not an issue until they marry each other and she sounds like the controling type even when she is not yet a member of the family

I wouldnt necessarily call it controlling. The girl is obviously worried. If this is the guy she sees herself marrying, she has the right to wonder whether such things will continue if/when they tie the knot. From what she's written, it's people like that, that tend to resent the wife and say she's the one that stole their honeypot from them and start to act up towards her. Girl needs to be careful is all.
Wouldnt you tell your female siblings or friends or whatever to do the same. People always say "shine your eyes" before jumping into marriage, and well I guess that is what she is doing.

I do stand by the fact that she shouldnt question it anymore and just watch. She should also not make plans for marriage with this dude anytime soon either until she is sure of what she is getting into.

I will not advice my sister to be a controlling type!! but to check if she can handle the marriage, but if not there is still enough time to leave the guy. Some girls wouldn't mind and maybe that's the kind of girls he wants or the poster might look somewhere else for her type of man (the one that cares less about his family and more about the wife), it's not a new thing anyway .

So if a person doesnt spend his entire paycheck on his family then he doesnt care about them?

Rofl.

if you are not comfortable with his lifestyle or his siters over demanding habits why don't you leave him 

@post
girl, that's too much right there. . .if it was me, i'll be like. . .bye and pack my bags. i can't deal with his sisters stress.

u don fall mugu

D-reloaded:

I wouldnt necessarily call it controlling. The girl is obviously worried. If this is the guy she sees herself marrying, she has the right to wonder whether such things will continue if/when they tie the knot. From what she's written, it's people like that, that tend to resent the wife and say she's the one that stole their honeypot from them and start to act up towards her. Girl needs to be careful is all.
Wouldnt you tell your female siblings or friends or whatever to do the same. People always say "shine your eyes" before jumping into marriage, and well I guess that is what she is doing.

I do stand by the fact that she shouldnt question it anymore and just watch. She should also not make plans for marriage with this dude anytime soon either until she is sure of what she is getting into.

word x2

milkyway, how do they(free loaders sisters) act towards you?
whatever the case don't get between them and their brother,
people that ask for money religiously will get rid of anybody that stand in their way!! >Nollywood films<
advise the dude to advise the ones working to be more independent
and when you tie the knot, make sure you move faraway,send them loads

_{Nigerians should move away from this almanjiri mentality!}

@ poster,
ur lucky his sisters are not even demanding from you.
or i guess you dont have any of yours
when my elder brothers were dating,
i used to "tax" those chicks then.
they'd gladly or grudging ly give me becos as the last child of the family,
i had to be pampered cos my brother's usually ask if the girl is nice
and of course i'd reply in the affirmative