OK OK OK
I confess now,
It all started sometime last month when I was in the house
watching a movie from our flat screen and expensive U.S made TV
I was just relaxing on our luxurious sofa with a glass of amarunna and
and some ice, then I heard a knock at the door, at first i thought it was the senator-my father-in-law but to my graetest dismay it was . . . . . .
_{please excuse my phone is ringing i will be back. Stay tuned}

Tessy na BIG LIE, who dash you and ituen flat screen. You don forget that day wey we goo your house 2geda.
That una TV wey de use KEROSENE, abi na SOLAR.
Kai me no know say u sabi blow lie.

Infact if you no talk as e take happen, i go just expose you well well

@ ugonna,

dont worry,you'll have your chance

^{flat screen ko,smooth screen ni, as if no be black and white tv}

sauce kid, if na black and white, e for better. The TV get some sort of lever wey you go pull to put am on.Those type of TVs are extinct now.

*the truth dey come out small small*

abeg, foryouigo, tell us the schools you attended. We'll make sure they refund to the last Kobo. you did not learn a thing. On the flipside, this gibberish ended up making me laugh harder than the topic. bad thing bad

Dis is 2 inform all landers dat any1 found 2 be involved in d case of dis missin goat dat it shall be summary execution!!!
Dat goat nvr belong 2 d forclaimed owner, rada it wz stolen frm my barracks, if u hv any infro relatin 2 dis goat & u knw wat is good 4 u, pls report 2 d nearest gunpoint outpost.
N.B: Unda here is wat we do 2 ppl we fall out of favour wit my govt!!!

_{gunpoint is apprehended by OSAMA and bombed @ once.}

@saucekid Continue with the confession proceedings because my blood dey hot now.

NOTICE !!!
No one found guilty will be spared.

ben~jay, i lika ya style, i nid such hot blooded creatures lika u in my army
Y dnt u join my army
Am ma maka u a Cornel

oya continue the confession dont digress again

^{the truth must come out}

:d ;d

Gunpoint sounds like biggerboy.

* i'm beginning to feel that too*

I guess we had better arrest him

Saucekid, r u speaking in tounges.

*thats why u should fall under the annointing*

Wheres the oil?

Groundnut oil 4 what.

the baptism in fire,water and groundnut oil

4 me or who.

@saucekid I thought you were supposed to be conducting the confession? Or is this some kind of technique to steal time and digress from the issue at hand here ?

Ben calls up OSAMA, Bros osama, it seems these people think you flew all the way from afghanistan to make jokes. Oya begin set that bomb again.

Ben, pls oh.

so u guyz should better go on with the confession before i loose my temper, Its already in my hand now , ^{(i mean my temper).}

*oya this confession must continue any other interruptors will be blown apart*

signed: osama bin ladin

Oya tessy continue wit da confession.

I hope i remember where i ended
. . . . . . . so when i got to the door, i saw migines and showbobo carring a dead goat
i was shocked and asked them where they were coming from with a dead goat
and why they were bringing it to my house.
migines said while they were driving past our neighbourhood, a stray goat ran across the road and their car knocked him down. Since it was dark and they scared of being lynches by our Iraqis neighbours they decided to carry the goat away.
Tessy: so what are we going to do with gaot now? Ituen is not at home.?
Showbobo: i don't know but i don't think we should throw this goat _{the goat too fine n big}
Tessy: are u saying we should chop the goat? chei anyway its not a bad idea oya make une start cut am i dey go make fire
Migines: ok, showbobo hurry up nah we no get time make we do quick before Ituen come back

nice one tess u don dey get the scope

but sorry iteun ur love don die

i have not yet finished
coming up soon
LIST OF NLDERS WHO ATE THE GOAT

I,showbobo and tessy went to luk for material to make d goat end up in our stomach. But before we came bak, ituen had bolted wit d goat. Last we heard waz dat he lodged into an hotel wit d goat.