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Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Marketers wanted by Epluribus(m): 11:29am On Aug 26, 2008 |
the firm is located in Lagos, and on the mainland to apply please send your CV to rwerad@yahoo.com |
Jokes Etc / Re: Story Story Part Ii by Epluribus(m): 11:16am On Aug 25, 2008 |
Revised Angelic Verses (RAV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel According to the ravishing fourth wife of Prophet Abraham, from Agoyin Kingdom, in Ancient Dahomey, called Prophetess (Princess) Mojisola Gbenga-Ikelebe (alias Sissy Cotonou). Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!): And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, one day, a man was standing at the pearly gates of heaven, and Saint Peter (the chief immigration officer on duty) addressed him: “All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you expedited passage into the Kingdom of God.” The man said: “No problem” He recounted to Saint Peter that he once stopped at a road intersection and saw a motorcycle gang (i.e. oyibo militants) harassing a young woman in downtown New York. He got out of his car, walked up to one of the oyibo militants who was over seven feet tall, and must have weighed nearly 200 kilograms, and told him that abusing and harassing a young woman was a cowardly and un-gentlemanly act, and that he would not tolerate it happening in his presence. He then reached up, yanked out the oyibo militant’s nose ring, and kicked him in the blokos (balls) to make his point. Saint Peter frantically searched the man’s life records in his book in front of him, and said: “I can’t find that incident anywhere in your file. , When did that happen?” The man looked at his watch and said: “Oh, that was about five minutes ago.” |
Jokes Etc / Story Story Part Ii by Epluribus(m): 10:54am On Aug 25, 2008 |
Revised Angelic Verses (RAV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel According to the ravishing fourth wife of Prophet Abraham, from Agoyin Kingdom, in Ancient Dahomey, called Prophetess (Princess) Mojisola Gbenga-Ikelebe (alias Sissy Cotonou). Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!): And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Nigeria, during a state visit to the world renowned lunatic asylum in Aro, Ogun State, General Okikiolakan Aremu Igbochukwu Matthew Olusegun Sikiru Obasanjo (GCFR; OND; JP) asked the Director of Psychiatry: "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?" "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said Baba Senator Iyabo (alias OBJ)."A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than both the spoon and the teacup. Right?" "No" said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed in the presidential ward, Your Excellency, Sir?" That is the end of my first story for today. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- APPENDIX 2: Revised Standard Version (RSV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Holy Book of Psychedelic Lies according to General Overseer Ibrahim. Gbadamosi (Evil Spirit) Babangida (GCFR). Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!): And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Oshogbo, a married man went to confessional and said to the priest: “Father, I had an affair with a woman, em errr, ehmm, emmmm … almost. " “What do you mean by 'almost'?” questioned Reverend Father Ogedengbe. “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then, I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it inside,” explained the Right Reverend Father Ogedengbe. “You’re not to go near that woman again. Do you hear me? Now, say five "Hail Mary"s, and put N5,000 in the box for the poor.” The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the box for the poor . He brought out a wad of mint-fresh 1,000 naira notes, counted out five of the notes, rubbed them on the box for the poor, paused for a moment, and then decided to leave the church. Reverend Father Ogedengbe quickly ran over to the man, and exclaimed aloud: “I saw that! , Yes, I saw you … you didn’t put any money in the box for the poor! I caught you.” The man replied: “Well, Father Ogedengbe, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it’s the same as putting it inside!” That is the end of my second and final story for today. |
Jokes Etc / Re: Stroy Story, Must Read by Epluribus(m): 10:53am On Aug 25, 2008 |
Revised Angelic Verses (RAV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Gospel According to the ravishing fourth wife of Prophet Abraham, from Agoyin Kingdom, in Ancient Dahomey, called Prophetess (Princess) Mojisola Gbenga-Ikelebe (alias Sissy Cotonou). Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!): And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Nigeria, during a state visit to the world renowned lunatic asylum in Aro, Ogun State, General Okikiolakan Aremu Igbochukwu Matthew Olusegun Sikiru Obasanjo (GCFR; OND; JP) asked the Director of Psychiatry: "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?" "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said Baba Senator Iyabo (alias OBJ)."A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than both the spoon and the teacup. Right?" "No" said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed in the presidential ward, Your Excellency, Sir?" That is the end of my first story for today. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- APPENDIX 2: Revised Standard Version (RSV) translated from the Original Brokin Edition (OBE) of the Holy Book of Psychedelic Lies according to General Overseer Ibrahim. Gbadamosi (Evil Spirit) Babangida (GCFR). Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!): And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Oshogbo, a married man went to confessional and said to the priest: “Father, I had an affair with a woman, em errr, ehmm, emmmm … almost. " “What do you mean by 'almost'?” questioned Reverend Father Ogedengbe. “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then, I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it inside,” explained the Right Reverend Father Ogedengbe. “You’re not to go near that woman again. Do you hear me? Now, say five "Hail Mary"s, and put N5,000 in the box for the poor.” The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the box for the poor . He brought out a wad of mint-fresh 1,000 naira notes, counted out five of the notes, rubbed them on the box for the poor, paused for a moment, and then decided to leave the church. Reverend Father Ogedengbe quickly ran over to the man, and exclaimed aloud: “I saw that! , Yes, I saw you … you didn’t put any money in the box for the poor! I caught you.” The man replied: “Well, Father Ogedengbe, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it’s the same as putting it inside!” That is the end of my second and final story for today. |
Jobs/Vacancies / Marketers wanted by Epluribus(m): 12:20pm On Aug 22, 2008 |
A national security firm wants marketers. preference will be given to those who have experience in marketing with insurance companies. |
Jobs/Vacancies / Vaccancies Staff For First Generation Bank by Epluribus(m): 11:52am On Aug 22, 2008 |
Vaccancies Admin Staff In a First Generation bank as a result of expansion Note VERY Important Computer skills Email CVs to rwerad@yahoo.com |
Jokes Etc / Stroy Story, Must Read by Epluribus(m): 11:04am On Aug 22, 2008 |
Story, story, (story). Once upon a time, (time, time!): And so, it came to pass that, in the good old olden days, in ancient Lagos, a drunk that smelled like the Nigerian Brewery plc, ancient Iganmu, found himself next to a priest on a molue (rickety bus). The drunk’s shirt was stained with Guinness stout, his face was full of bright red lipstick marks, and he had a half-empty bottle of ogogoro (i.e. Sapele water; Craze-Man-In-De-Bottle; Agbagba; MOPOL Fanta; Kinkana; Akpeteshi; Push-Me-I-Push-You; Abua 1st Eleven; etc) sticking out of his shokoto (trouser) pocket. He opened his City People tabloid and started reading. A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest: “Hic… hic-hic … Father, what causes arthritis? …Hic!” “Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,” the priest replied. “Imagine that,” the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his newspaper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: “I am sorry; I did not mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?” “Hic… hic-hic … I don’t have arthritis, Father,” the drunk said, “but I just read in the City People that Pope John Paul had arthritis. …Hic!” That is the end of my first story for today. |
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Job Vacancies :-free Notifications by Epluribus(m): 5:08pm On Aug 21, 2008 |
u see another kind hearted Nigerian fellow |
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Job Vacancies :-free Notifications by Epluribus(m): 3:04pm On Aug 21, 2008 |
its to develop a mailing list that automatically notifies us all if there is a job vacancy and where the vaccancy is and etc. i am not feeling important if i was i would have charged forthe service, if u reccolect madame it, is absolutely FREE. uve made me unhappy |
Jobs/Vacancies / Job Vacancies :-free Notifications by Epluribus(m): 10:48am On Aug 21, 2008 |
Hi all it crazy having to trawl the intenet and use google to search fro vacancies and all so im going to make this easy on us all. i am currently trying to build a script that automatically trawls the web for the vaccancies arrangies them and then notifies us all of vaccancies according to specific disciplines. Its my humanitarian gesture to making sure we get where we want to. so what are y waiting for? mail me your e mail addies for the free job notifications. rwerad@yahoo.com |
Romance / Re: Nigerian Men And Flowers by Epluribus(m): 12:15pm On Aug 19, 2008 |
ok well since u seem to be diffrent, i want to send u flowers abeg na, |
Romance / Re: Nigerian Men And Flowers by Epluribus(m): 11:22am On Aug 19, 2008 |
why give one? she want to be able to use the roses to decorate the whole house, 1. in the room 2 in the kitchen 3. in the dining 4. hanging from the entrance 5. in the bath abi now? 6. on her desk at the office make them know say her bobo romantic 7. yes if e still remain , inside the car yes. i no try? |
Romance / Re: Nigerian Men And Flowers by Epluribus(m): 2:25pm On Aug 18, 2008 |
temper temper my friend, take it easy it was a joke ooooo we dont need all that beef after all we are supposed to act like men. Peace |
Romance / Re: Nigerian Men And Flowers by Epluribus(m): 1:50pm On Aug 18, 2008 |
ok we dont give flowers we eat em yes we dey chop rose etc. lol no mind the bush man. |
Car Talk / Re: Quack Tracking Companies In Nigeria by Epluribus(m): 1:49pm On Aug 18, 2008 |
well thank God for his mercies |
Romance / Re: Nigerian Men And Flowers by Epluribus(m): 1:37pm On Aug 18, 2008 |
yeah speak for yourself whos we? |
Romance / Re: Nigerian Men And Flowers by Epluribus(m): 12:41pm On Aug 18, 2008 |
Nigerian Guys do give flowers Trust me, this years vals was crazy cos we had diffrent catalogs from diff flower shops and con see how men dey talk of bouquet arrangement and all. so flowers are real in Nigeria. |
Car Talk / Re: Quack Tracking Companies In Nigeria by Epluribus(m): 12:04pm On Aug 18, 2008 |
And that NCC liscence na serious thing also. What is the Govt doing? this is how we can help ourselves |
Autos / Re: Who Is Lowe? by Epluribus(m): 11:57am On Aug 18, 2008 |
Na LOWE LINTAS bin get those cars and they are all the same model but diff colors. they are into brand mgt. lol i can imagine u going crazy bout the identity of this big boi LOWE lol |
Autos / Re: Auto Mobile Tracking Via Gsm And Internet by Epluribus(m): 11:48am On Aug 18, 2008 |
* |
Autos / Re: Auto Mobile Tracking Via Gsm And Internet by Epluribus(m): 12:55pm On Aug 11, 2008 |
coomon u want to lose your car?? |
Autos / Re: Tyre Sealant: My Experience (With Pictures)! by Epluribus(m): 12:48pm On Aug 11, 2008 |
old chap does ur car have a tracker? you should think bout it. Ps Nice pic shows the hole in the tyre. sorry oooo |
Autos / Re: Affordable Cars! by Epluribus(m): 2:32pm On Aug 03, 2008 |
nice cars how bout addding a tracking service to your cars? mail me jahvyidaan@yahoo.com |
Autos / Auto Mobile Tracking Via Gsm And Internet by Epluribus(m): 2:23pm On Aug 03, 2008 |
professional car tracking CoTrac Vehicle Tracking & Recovery Why do I need CoTrac? VEHICLE THEFT IS A REALITY TODAY. Today, vehicle theft is on the increase by the day. The cost of living is so high and crime is becoming the order of the day. Alarms and other deterrents are not enough. Depending upon where you live and what make and model you drive, you may be at risk. There is little one can do to prevent a car from being stolen. However, with CoTrac you can take control and ensure that if your car is stolen, you'll get it back. DISABLE IT? THIEVES CAN'T EVEN FIND IT! The CoTrac equipment is hidden within a vehicle (not even the owner knows where it is). It takes an average of 3 hours to hide a CoTrac system which nobody knows even after installation. Remember! Its not only you in panic, , they also are. COTRAC GUARANTEES RECOVERY! With the purchase of a CoTrac, you receive a two-year Limited Recovery Warranty. With this Recovery Warranty, if your vehicle is stolen and not recovered within 24 hours, CoTrac will refund the purchase price of your CoTrac system . Additional warranties that extend your coverage are available. Contact us for details. ALL THIS AND AN INSURANCE DISCOUNT, TOO! Vehicles equipped with a CoTrac Vehicle Recovery System may qualify for a discount on insurance. For example, IGI offers all CoTrac owners a discount of as much as 50% on their comprehensive fire, theft, and vandalism premiums. YOUR VEHICLE SAYS "HERE I AM!" The CoTrac system reports to you on your cellphone the actual location of your vehicle even to the street name. How better can it be… You are still in control wherever your vehicle is. Just flash your car! secure your car simple we even have street level maps that show actual location of the cars in Nigeria and beyond up to street level, OR IF You WANT TO LOGON ON TO THE INTERNET AND SEE EXACTLY WHERE UR CAR IS OR BETTER STILL CALL YOUR CALL AND LISTEN TO THE CONVERSATIONS IN YOUR CAR . BECAUSE CAR TRACKING IS MORE THAN A SIMPLE DEVICE INSTALLATION, ITS A COMPLETE SERVICE PACKAGE. u CAN HAVE THE UPPER HAND, GET A TRACKER. call Taiwo on 08027017405 Daniel 07028202325 OR mail jahvyidaan@yahoo.com |
Autos / Re: Track Your Car Your Self by Epluribus(m): 2:17pm On Aug 03, 2008 |
tracking no be about office or no office, but is this guy ncc liscensed? or , if na me go wan track i go do am via the proffessionals, Cotrac. see wwww.cotekit.com for details no bad belle ooooooo |
Autos / Re: 2007/8 Toyota Camry Glx: (chariot Of Fire) by Epluribus(m): 1:04pm On Jul 21, 2008 |
CoTrac Vehicle Tracking & Recovery Why do I need CoTrac? VEHICLE THEFT IS A REALITY TODAY. Today, vehicle theft is on the increase by the day. The cost of living is so high and crime is becoming the order of the day. Alarms and other deterrents are not enough. Depending upon where you live and what make and model you drive, you may be at risk. There is little one can do to prevent a car from being stolen. However, with CoTrac you can take control and ensure that if your car is stolen, you'll get it back. DISABLE IT? THIEVES CAN'T EVEN FIND IT! The CoTrac equipment is hidden within a vehicle (not even the owner knows where it is). It takes an average of 3 hours to hide a CoTrac system which nobody knows even after installation. Remember! Its not only you in panic, , they also are. COTRAC GUARANTEES RECOVERY! With the purchase of a CoTrac, you receive a two-year Limited Recovery Warranty. With this Recovery Warranty, if your vehicle is stolen and not recovered within 24 hours, CoTrac will refund the purchase price of your CoTrac system . Additional warranties that extend your coverage are available. Contact us for details. ALL THIS AND AN INSURANCE DISCOUNT, TOO! Vehicles equipped with a CoTrac Vehicle Recovery System may qualify for a discount on insurance. For example, IGI offers all CoTrac owners a discount of as much as 50% on their comprehensive fire, theft, and vandalism premiums. YOUR VEHICLE SAYS "HERE I AM!" The CoTrac system reports to you on your cellphone the actual location of your vehicle even to the street name. How better can it be… You are still in control wherever your vehicle is. Just flash your car! secure your car simple we even have street level maps that show actual location of the cars in Nigeria and beyond up to street level, OR IF You WANT TO LOGON ON TO THE INTERNET AND SEE EXACTLY WHERE UR CAR IS OR BETTER STILL CALL YOUR CALL AND LISTEN TO THE CONVERSATIONS IN YOUR CAR . u CAN HAVE THE UPPER HAND, GET A TRACKEK. call Taiwo on 08027017405 Daniel 07028202325 OR mail jahvyidaan@yahoo.com don't take that next trip alone!!! |
Crime / Continuing Car Theft In Lagos by Epluribus(m): 12:57pm On Jul 21, 2008 |
CoTrac Vehicle Tracking & Recovery Why do I need CoTrac? VEHICLE THEFT IS A REALITY TODAY. Today, vehicle theft is on the increase by the day. The cost of living is so high and crime is becoming the order of the day. Alarms and other deterrents are not enough. Depending upon where you live and what make and model you drive, you may be at risk. There is little one can do to prevent a car from being stolen. However, with CoTrac you can take control and ensure that if your car is stolen, you'll get it back. DISABLE IT? THIEVES CAN'T EVEN FIND IT! The CoTrac equipment is hidden within a vehicle (not even the owner knows where it is). It takes an average of 3 hours to hide a CoTrac system which nobody knows even after installation. Remember! Its not only you in panic, , they also are. COTRAC GUARANTEES RECOVERY! With the purchase of a CoTrac, you receive a two-year Limited Recovery Warranty. With this Recovery Warranty, if your vehicle is stolen and not recovered within 24 hours, CoTrac will refund the purchase price of your CoTrac system . Additional warranties that extend your coverage are available. Contact us for details. ALL THIS AND AN INSURANCE DISCOUNT, TOO! Vehicles equipped with a CoTrac Vehicle Recovery System may qualify for a discount on insurance. For example, IGI offers all CoTrac owners a discount of as much as 50% on their comprehensive fire, theft, and vandalism premiums. YOUR VEHICLE SAYS "HERE I AM!" The CoTrac system reports to you on your cellphone the actual location of your vehicle even to the street name. How better can it be… You are still in control wherever your vehicle is. Just flash your car! secure your car simple we even have street level maps that show actual location of the cars in Nigeria and beyond up to street level, OR IF You WANT TO LOGON ON TO THE INTERNET AND SEE EXACTLY WHERE UR CAR IS OR BETTER STILL CALL YOUR CALL AND LISTEN TO THE CONVERSATIONS IN YOUR CAR . u CAN HAVE THE UPPER HAND, GET A TRACKEK. call Taiwo on 08027017405 Daniel 07028202325 OR mail jahvyidaan@yahoo.com don't take that next trip alone!!! |
Adverts / Combating Car Theft In Nigeria by Epluribus(m): 4:30pm On Jul 06, 2008 |
have u come out from hanging out with the boys or Ladies and not met your car where u parked it?? thats so depressing. make sure this never happens to u GET A CAR TRACKER CoTrac Vehicle Tracking & Recovery Why do I need CoTrac? VEHICLE THEFT IS A REALITY TODAY. Today, vehicle theft is on the increase by the day. The cost of living is so high and crime is becoming the order of the day. Alarms and other deterrents are not enough. Depending upon where you live and what make and model you drive, you may be at risk. There is little one can do to prevent a car from being stolen. However, with CoTrac you can take control and ensure that if your car is stolen, you'll get it back. DISABLE IT? THIEVES CAN'T EVEN FIND IT! The CoTrac equipment is hidden within a vehicle (not even the owner knows where it is). It takes an average of 3 hours to hide a CoTrac system which nobody knows even after installation. Remember! Its not only you in panic, , they also are. COTRAC GUARANTEES RECOVERY! With the purchase of a CoTrac, you receive a two-year Limited Recovery Warranty. With this Recovery Warranty, if your vehicle is stolen and not recovered within 24 hours, CoTrac will refund the purchase price of your CoTrac system . Additional warranties that extend your coverage are available. Contact us for details. ALL THIS AND AN INSURANCE DISCOUNT, TOO! Vehicles equipped with a CoTrac Vehicle Recovery System may qualify for a discount on insurance. For example, IGI offers all CoTrac owners a discount of as much as 50% on their comprehensive fire, theft, and vandalism premiums. YOUR VEHICLE SAYS "HERE I AM!" The CoTrac system reports to you on your cellphone the actual location of your vehicle even to the street name. How better can it be… You are still in control wherever your vehicle is. Just flash your car! secure your car simple we even have street level maps that show actual location of the cars in Nigeria and beyond up to street level, OR IF You WANT TO LOGON ON TO THE INTERNET AND SEE EXACTLY WHERE UR CAR IS OR BETTER STILL CALL YOUR CALL AND LISTEN TO THE CONVERSATIONS IN YOUR CAR . u CAN HAVE THE UPPER HAND, GET A TRACKET. what we do is to Track disable the car and trace it back to where it is, we even do free recovery, so why not put your mind at ease , because Cotrac is Watchin, and rember if them try am we go get am back!!!!! call Taiwo on 08027017405 Daniel 07028202325 OR mail jahvyidaan@yahoo.com don't take that next trip alone!!! |
Religion / Re: Have You Praised Him Yet, Today? by Epluribus(m): 4:18pm On Jul 06, 2008 |
Lord Me sef thank u, for if not u i know say no one fit lift me up. |
Forum Games / Re: Lets Pretend 2 B The by Epluribus(m): 4:05pm On Jul 06, 2008 |
Hmmm in all i am only reminded that the ways of Man are not the ways of he thats called Eledumare. if i was in charge of the Money , kai i go declare my self as emperor supremo and Africa my own personal estate with all rights to any and every bestowed on me and will not take any bull shit from any bodi and everyone must call all my traditional titles and, yeee brb my woman dey call me make i chop . |
Autos / Re: Combating Car Theft In Nigeria by Epluribus(m): 2:57pm On Jul 06, 2008 |
They tried it and we found it Our response team just recovered another car stolen in Oyo state at Dugbe. Lol the theives didnt know wat hit them. Cotrac , As long as they try it we will find it. Proudly Nigerian |
Autos / Re: Check The VIN OF Your Car Or Vehicle by Epluribus(m): 5:06pm On Jul 04, 2008 |
get CoTrac for your car if u r going to buy it ooooooooooooooo so as to ensure u enjoy ur money. lol mail me jahvyidaan@yahoo.com |
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