JONNYSPUTE:
....Meaning he should stop it entirely?. Except he is not bouyant enough to do so,then he should stop but the truth of the matter is that we all need help as humans. Might not be physical cash,but surely we all do need help.

You are right about needing help. In this case, the man should act with tact. A healthy couple would often disagree to agree. The wife could explain her reasons and they could still think about alternatives or scholarship for those children, because they will grow up to appreciate it.
Maybe the man is someone that can sacrifice his last Kobo to someone but feels fulfilled that he has helped someone.
All the same couples should be open to each other and take mutual decision with wisdom.

kayperry:



Don't just conclude like that, please men vary for instance my woman understands whatever i do with my money is my business so far i meet up with my responsibility to her ..... marriage is like bed for men, and its how you lay your bed you will sleep on it. no caps

If what you do with your money is your business, then you shouldn't have gotten married. I believe a couple should be open with each other. I won't feel comfortable with a man I can't tell my income and the things I do with the money, likewise the man.
'How you lay your bed is how you sleep in it', well you're right, sir. But these rules fly out of the window when the right person comes along, you simply make the bed for the sake of pleasure, no rules, no boundaries.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Don't let it pain you Bro, she's doing the right thing in a wrong way
Just calm down and sit her down let her know what you want and what you don't want

MYHUBBY:


kindergarten talk, you're just a dead brain attention seeker


go play with toys kid, don't have time for childish tantrum from one brain dead specimen

Now i can't even differentiate who is talking anymore, my or hubby, alway signify

gentlegenius:

Hmmm...
I've noticed this about you:
When you comment on other people's thread, you made perfect sense and showed maturity. But when you create your own thread, the reverse is the case.
I've seen some unnecessary threads you've created, with attention seeking topics, useless stories, childish comments and immature responses to people who tries to talk sense to you.
Mbok, eyen ukang nnyin.... Kuyak uyai to odok fi ibuot mbak mme owo edibat fi nte ndisime. Suk idem fo ke Abasi ayebene fi ke enyong.
Kubo item emi ke iyaresit o...
Song idem o... mkpouto nnyin!

LOL.

There's one thing I would want you to understand. It is that, I am a child at heart. You hardly know when I am serious or not. I play too much.

And when it's business, it's purely business.

Thanks for your notice. Song idem o. Asiere.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

You're a weaklings,why would you allow her to control how you spend your money?,except it's hers you are talking about.

kingyakos:

Can an ocean runs dry....No
Can a fountain stop flowing....No
Can a Lilly flower stop bringing out its fragrance..No

Look, I am tired of you people making baseless comparisons.

If you want to quote quotes, I can give you a lot of them and they are very handy.

A drowning man can not rescue another drowning man, lest they both drown together. Yes, we rise by lifting others, but it'll be silly to try to raise others when yourself isn't standing firm. People don't care about nice people. They are only with you as much as your convenience can offer. There's no award for nicety. Know this and know peace.

SmartPolician:


The point is, whether rich or not, you should just know that nobody can empty their account to help the next person. That's the major point here.

Beyond that, nature has a way of rewarding people for both good and bad deeds. Guess what, whether we believe or not cannot change that.

NO. I do not believe in that philosophy of life. It's all baloney.

kayperry:



Now i can't even differentiate who is talking anymore, my or hubby, alway signify

an idiot is an idiot, you're a kid with boring life. go get a life

Hmmm i am in similar shoe. Na mu cross. Na to carry am and hope things change soon

Check her very well she must have joined APC.

Czarina21:


If what you do with your money is your business, then you shouldn't have gotten married. I believe a couple should be open with each other. I won't feel comfortable with a man I can't tell my income and the things I do with the money, likewise the man.
'How you lay your bed is how you sleep in it', well you're right, sir. But these rules fly out of the window when the right person comes along, you simply make the bed for the sake of pleasure, no rules, no boundaries.

something about your aura however its a different thing to be open its another thing to be in control, as a woman i don't expect you to understand, no be everything man suppose tell woman, if adam had kept secret maybe we for still dey Eden. Even if you tell ur man your salary does it change her money is her money. so ?
Beyond definition any one that have experience "pleasure" know its a short time feeling so what happens when that sensation fades out ...where ever two parties exist there will alway be boundaries, they might not just be conscious enough

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

I honestly wonder why stuff like this should border you?. As a matter of fact u have a perfect marriage you are the one disturbing yourself. When u pray to God that he should bless you so can be a blessing to others, was your wife there?. Why putting her into it now?. Do you know if she prays in opposite direction.
Just do ur stuff without telling her?. And if u must give to her people, give it to her if she like let her give it to them or not, it's her business.

Your wife knows you are not financially stable and that's why she is not allowing you to help others. She knows you guys don't have letalone the one to give people. She didn't change, she's just been careful so that you guys don't give all you have and start begging later .

Czarina21:


You are right about needing help. In this case, the man should act with tact. A healthy couple would often disagree to agree. The wife could explain her reasons and they could still think about alternatives or scholarship for those children, because they will grow up to appreciate it.
Maybe the man is someone that can sacrifice his last Kobo to someone but feels fulfilled that he has helped someone.
All the same couples should be open to each other and take mutual decision with wisdom.

....As for me I don't see anything wrong in helping someone if one have the means but bringing some other kids into their house is a no no.
And as for couples being open,I won't agree to that a 100%. In this kind of situation,the man can render such help without her knowing.
Ok,let's say is the woman that's in this situation. Won't she device a means to render such help without the knowledge of her husband especially if her relatives are involved? I'm talking where the husband has refused to understand or reason with her.

MYHUBBY:



an idiot is an idiot, you're a kid with boring life. go get a life

K

JONNYSPUTE:
....As for me I don't see anything wrong in helping someone if one have the means but bringing some other kids into their house is a no no.
And as for couples being open,I won't agree to that a 100%. In this kind of situation,the man can render such help without her knowing.
Ok,let's say is the woman that's in this situation. Won't she device a means to render such help without the knowledge of her husband especially if her relatives are involved? I'm talking where the husband has refused to understand or reason with her.

It'll depend on the husband's reasons.

Most women hide their real colors till they get married.

kayperry:



something about your aura however its a different thing to be open its another thing to be in control, as a woman i don't expect you to understand, no be everything man suppose tell woman, if adam had kept secret maybe we for still dey Eden. Even if you tell ur man your salary does it change her money is her money. so ?
Beyond definition any one that have experience "pleasure" know its a short time feeling so what happens when that sensation fades out ...where ever two parties exist there will alway be boundaries, they might not just be conscious enough

There are couples who tell each other EVERYTHING, from petty gimmicks to extra-marital affairs that almost happened.
There are couples who have long term pleasure.
As for boundaries, when you get into a relationship no matter how stable or superficial it may be, boundaries will be crossed.

paix:
Most women hide their real colors till they get married.

Not always true, sir.
If I come yelling profanities in reply to your comment, you'll treat me differently.
If I'm polite and state my opinion politely, you'll treat me differently too.
After marriage, a lot of couples 'settle down', the man becomes cranky probably due to the new responsibilities and wedding party debts.
The woman still wants the courtship euphoria in an amplified version.
So everyone starts reacting to the current situation, and that's what we call the 'real colors'.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Look, I am tired of you people making baseless comparisons.

If you want to quote quotes, I can give you a lot of them and they are very handy.

A drowning man can not rescue another drowning man, lest they both drown together. Yes, we rise by lifting others, but it'll be silly to try to raise others when yourself isn't standing firm. People don't care about nice people. They are only with you as much as your convenience can offer. There's no award for nicety. Know this and know peace.

The world isn't a nice place anymore so nice people won't be acknowledge but those that are nice in nature will keep being nice cos it's a part of them.
What does it takes to lift others, you think it's by giving them money, I've seen where a stick of cigarettes lifted somebody to a top managerial position in Mobil.
Also heard of a food vendor in umahia that took a female Corp member to Governor's office and told the governor to give the Corp member a job and the governor did, he gave the Corp member a job in slok marine.
I heard that the governor do eat at the woman's restaurant back then and this Corp member happens to be the woman's neighbor and a nice neighbor.

UyaiIncomparabl:


NO. I do not believe in that philosophy of life. It's all baloney.

Nature is a rewarder of one's deed weather good or bad nature will reward you

Czarina21:


Not always true, sir.
If I come yelling profanities in reply to your comment, you'll treat me differently.
If I'm polite and state my opinion politely, you'll treat me differently too.
After marriage, a lot of couples 'settle down', the man becomes cranky probably due to the new responsibilities and wedding party debts.
The woman still wants the courtship euphoria in an amplified version.
So everyone starts reacting to the current situation, and that's what we call the 'real colors'.

I am a ghetto guy, profanities are our national anthems. Change of environment is gradually teaching me how to behave differently. In any case, I appreciate your sense of maturity in your response.

franchasng:
The man making the money know his pocket and the secret of his success in life.


Some of us had a covenant with God to help the needy and the poor which made God to forgive our shortcomings and blessed the works of our hands to have enough to help others, but women will never understand this and try to act as barrier and when they use their stinginess, wickedness and selfish attitudes to crash their husbands fortune, they start to suffer it and beg to eat without knowing where their problem started from.


If you are not married yet, please allow your future hubby to help as many people he wishes to help as possible. Always be happy that you and your husband have more than enough to give to others, it ought to be a thing of joy that you have plenty in midst of lack and poverty in Nigeria.


God that brought the riches won't let it finish if you help people with joy

.....

Money is current, just let it flow through and don't be stingy with it cos the shock is worst than that of electric current

My brother, women are naturally stingy. It takes the grace of God to see few that are generous.

Continue Todo the right thing

Listen to your wife bro....secure the future of your children to come...things are getting worse in the country.....if you choose to help do it moderately......

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

For me to belive that u are a cheerful giver, first send me sometin for my bank acct first, then from there i go tell u the advice my great grand pale yarn me....3102853510...firstbank.

MadamVanessa:




Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to men.

Why pretending to be who you're not? you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a philan let's not even talk of thropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

You're obviously a divorcee and a very bitter, sadistic redpiller. Have you heard from his wife. Do you think he's a saint?

ElonEmpire
I have this in-law who used to tell me that he'd love to change the lives of people if he was rich. He would always crow about his good deeds to people and so on.

There was also a time he was a driver for a private security company. He complained about how the supervisors, especially one, was ripping off the security guards under them through all forms of extortion and felt sorry for them.

The director of the security company decided to give him a job as a supervisor (though untrained and uneducated). This guy did worse than what he complained about the other supervisors. He would sack any who refused to settle him regularly. He charged newcomers for forms that were free. He also got 2 female guards pregnant and was sexually harassing many. There was one he kept as his babe against her will. He once had sex with an operative and did not have the common sense to give her transport money. She had to beg passersby to get home.

His misdeeds were exposed when the company lost a big contract that had many locations. Many of the guards fingered him as a very bad egg. He was fired. Rather than feel sorry for his atrocities, he blamed a witchhunt by the chairman of the company.

Always remember this Bible verse below:

Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth;
Others, and not your own lips. (Proverbs 27:2)

Some people who sing their own praises usually do so to win the hearts of people who they perceive as kind-hearted and generous.

You are married to your wife, so you have to make your marriage work, for better, for worse. If you want to assist then, do it in secret. God who looks on in secret will bless

MadamVanessa:




Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to men.

Why pretending to be who you're not? you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a philan let's not even talk of thropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

Once you have seen her real character that can't be changed, and doesn't augur well with you, it's best to jump ship early (divorce) now that you are not entangled with children.....

And also save us the heartache of reading on nairaland one day that husband and wife fought over rendering financial assistance and one or both died, R.I.P's might not be fourthcoming...

You may stay and condone it till maybe 10 to 20 years time depending on your endurance level and deprive yourself innate happiness, and one day we will here u say .... I have heard enough.....and it will be too late.....

By this time you might finally decide to divorce her with the children between you two and the divorce will not be sweet as doing it now.....

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

This one of the disadvantage of marrying a lady from poor background; large percentage of them are self centered.
Please ignore her attitude and do the needful except if you are managing her business not yours.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

U don't need ur wife's permission to what u want because it's ur house