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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. (35988 Views)
I Married Her A Virgin But Now This Is Happening / I Married My Daughter, Fathered Two Kids With Her, While My Dad Married Her Mum / I Married Into The Wrong Family.. (true Story) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Administration1: 2:49pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
What tha fnck have I been reading? Do you guys understand that it takes two to make a marriage work? But Madame OP, you no get sense sha... "He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice." |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by fineberry(m): 2:51pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Let me share this experience at this point In 2019 my sister had her wedding, the problem was now "where will the white wedding hold?? " Bcus we're RCCG and our inlaw to be was a Catholic member and according to my sister while relating to the issue to us ....said that the wedding will av hold in the groom's church.... Imagine!!! ...my dad was like.... that's so impossible.... bcus not only is It normal for white wedding to hold in the bride church, my p man is also a Pastor....shey you see the clause.... Do you know what my sister did!! She bagged my dad with serious tires...... I've never seen my sis in such emotional state as I saw her that day. So op, if you know what good for you, go on your kneels and beg Ur man, it's called understanding and humility. I wish you all the best. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Jewessgratitud3: 2:51pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
007kjb: Loud it! Something you'll only do once, it's paining him like this. What of when the children start schooling and he'll have to pay school fees for years? He'll still blame the wife for not allowing the children go to public school. I fear such men. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Basiliun: 2:54pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
The girl's parents got it all wrong in the first place, for being too exuberant and rigid in their bribe price list. The man had expected that her wife would had show a bit love and concern by atleast pretended to agitate over it, instead exhibited an attitude of solidarity, as she used such words as," you can't pay it twice, if you say you love me do it" in support of her father's bids, which led the man went beyond his finacial capabilities to save face. Now the area I will blame the husband is the amount of regrets and sorrows he is going through despite having consummated all the conjugal rights in respect of his wife and is now living with her. He ought to had let a bygone be a bygone and move on with his wife And the wife ought to be a comforter and suporter ones he brings up the issue instead of throwing some provoking words, thereby adding pepper to his healing wounds. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Rolings: 2:56pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3: What you family did is called EXTORTION. SIMPLE Or were they selling you to him that he MUST BRING THINGS HE COULDN'T AFFORD |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by winner37(m): 2:56pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3: You are correct but as a father you have to make your stand firm , no one has upper hand in your family.. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by sweerychick(f): 2:56pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
saladinnoir:nobody forced him to enter debt or pay for a big wedding if you can't afford it leave the lady alone and find someone you can afford her wedding financially. Marriage is not for the weak financially And physically, the girls parents have told you the kind of wedding the want for their daughter do you know how much the girls parents spent on her before she got married? The man should be happy after all he spent because he can see his wife as a priceless possession. Sometimes such can be test for sacrifice on the person u love so I see no reason for her hubby to act like a kid |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by MrsTwrite(f): 2:56pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Hmmm... 150k per month, thinking don full the man head tire. Madam try and fix yourself with something like a business that brings passive income. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Britishpea: 2:57pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Na hunger never catches you after the wedding. Most of you ladies will be acting like wedding all it is about life. When a man can’t afford an elaborate wedding it is always very obvious. A man earning 150k is asked to do an elaborate wedding. Imagine! Your father didn’t know him you are the one who knows him well. And you should mediate for him. Even if he does come up with such an idea you were supposed to turn it down immediately fragrantly and tell him that you should do a small wedding. Disrespecting of wives in marriage by many men doesn’t start in a day. It is a build up of events where the lady has failed woefully. It makes a man to lose respect and never trusts her decision on anything. Marriage wey be say if you kill 10 cows den go eat am and no one will say thank you the next day. If I am your father and I get to know this later that your husband earns that and you know his earning then still allow him to spend that much. I will regret ever sending you to school. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by winner37(m): 2:58pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
maticar: Doing that is very bad . |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by 007kjb: 3:01pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3: I hate reading stuff like this Man, Is very terrible for a man to even want to marry for free or close to nothing 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Jewessgratitud3: 3:02pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
winner37: In my place, the kins men and the father's elder brother have the final say. My dad was the last born and at the age of 60 Dem no born am well to say no to his immediate elder brother and kinsmen when my elder sisters had their marriage. With abeg self, Dem no gree. When the in-laws saw that my dad was helpless they had to comply. I even thought it's because he didn't grow up in the village with them and lived all his life in Lagos they treated him like that but he himself confirmed that it was omelala. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Babastrong(m): 3:04pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Not
me
with
"iron
ball"
i
could
remember
my
own,
they
listed
what
they
wanted
but
i
told
them
openly
that
i
couldn't
avoid
it
and
walk
away.
after
a
week
they
started
calling
that
their
daughter
was
having
depression.
i
told
them
my
capability,
they
agreed
and
we
tied
the
knot.
Today,
we're
happily
married
and
living
happily
with
kids. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by bekpo(m): 3:07pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3: This entitlement mentality is what's causing rift in homes. Some women feel it's their right 4 a man 2 spend all d world 4 them not knowing that marriage is partnership. Let her seatdown n enjoy it. She wanted 2 kill d man in marrying her, let her enjoy it. Of all, she could only contribute 50k, seriously? R u kidding me? These r gold diggers who want to reap frm where they didn't sow. What was d contribution of d woman's family? Nothing. Thet tricked him they'll contribute but when it get 2 d day, they forced it on him. This alone is draining and straining. The man is right 2 behave d way he's doing. Deal with it or u go apologize genuinely 2 him. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by segunAde1: 3:08pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice Iyawo, your husband had done all these through loan to prove he truly loves you now it's now your turn to cherish him by joining him to pay back his loan! Next time! Always have it at back of your mind that wedding is just for a day, did you take the decorated hall home after the ceremony? How many kg did you keep out of the slaughtered cow? Awaiting iyawos please learn👏 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by bluefilm: 3:09pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Anfieldboss: Why bother trying to explain things to that biatch? Leave her in her follies. With time, e go clear for her eyes well well. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by esthel(f): 3:10pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
The young man is in debt and you want him to be opening teeth with you 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by tctrills: 3:11pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3:Left for people like you, 90% of Nigerians would be single. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by jubrilELsudan: 3:13pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
THE BRIDES FAMILY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WHITE WEDDING.....THAT IS THE NORMAL TRADITION YOUR DAD IS A PARASITE AND VERY WICKED DEMADING HIM TO RENT AND DECORATE A BIG HALL AND BUY A COW YOUR HUSBAND AND IS FAMILY WILL NEVER RESPECT YOUR DAD AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY BECAUSE YOUR STUPID DAD HAS PROVEN TO THEM THAT NA POVERTY LEVEL ALL OF UNA DEY 1 Like
|
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by dapotemi: 3:13pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
layzie: The man should have walked away right there...My junior bro got a bride price list of about 3 million naira about 7 years ago, I think his salary then was just about 300k... He told his fiancee that it's too much and that she should talk to her parent, but that one was not taking him serious..na so my bro just went mute... One month, two month, 6 month, 9 month etc Na the mother in law call am say just BRING WHATEVER YOU HAVE! While would anyone used their one year salary to pay bride price, wedding proper is still there o...Family and friends wanted to even support but he rejected it, he said I can raise the money but it doesn't make sense to me so I won't do it...The guy and his father in-law are best of friends today..the whole idea is designed to extort you.Don't let anyone drive you mad..Be a MAN, ACT LIKE ONE! 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by RevenuesBoost(f): 3:15pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
People often say that if the man doesn't pay a huge bride price, he might decide to leave the marriage in the future but that's not true. When my Dad saw that my husband was not from our community and he had money, my Dad wanted double billing him, that was when my Dad saw the lioness in me. I told my Dad that he has to make the list to be just like my sisters' list. Even if they want to add something extra, they can but shouldn't overbill him if not I will personally cancel the marriage "EMPTY TREAT O" 😂 I even asked my Dad if he wanted me to remain single, I reminded him that I'm 29yrs already. My Dad's excuse was, "I'm a graduate but my sisters aren't". Hmmm... The truth is, I and my husband love ourselves so much that we wouldn't have walked away from the marriage even if my parents had objected to my terms but as a lady, you had the right to make your Dad cut down the list. So if you and your husband had proposed a closed door marriage to your Dad, your Dad would have objected? Does your Dad even have a right to object? He is not the one that should decide the venue for the marriage in the first place. You didn't support your husband on his decisions, you made it looked like a war between your husband and your father. You're a couple, it's you guys that should decide what you want and not your father. If you had complained to your father that the list was too much or ask your father if he wants you to remain single. Nobody will tell your Dad to adjust the list. Your husband is not happy because you didn't even try to respectfully oppose your father's suggestions. You didn't even see anything wrong in your father overbilling your husband. You even told your husband to go and meet his family to assist him in paying the price list. Did you forget that after marriage, it's just the two of you, no family member will be there with you two? So you would have tried to support your husband's every move and save yourself from future issues. I don't agree to getting a loan for marriage It's already too late to turn back the hands to time to fix all the little errors. Your husband is bittered that your family compelled him to take a loan. So all you have to do is assist him in paying the loan. Decide on how much you'll assist him with monthly, you can decide to take care of the feeding bills at home while he pays the loan. He needs your financial assistance. This will really go a long way in fixing your marriage. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Hectroy(m): 3:17pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Believe it or not some men feel betrayed knowing you're more on the side of your family and to them you just failed your first loyalty test. The least you could've done is to just encourage him rather than been seen as reckless with words. To him the N50,000 you dropped is not out of support but more of you trying to save face. Some ladies should know that there's life after wedding and as such should be more sensitive not to be seen as being one sided. From your narrative, he was told to provide cow, and decorated hall alone but his family were still the one that provided food. What then was your family's contribution? To me it's insensitive for brides parent to "extort ' by turning what could've been a moderate wedding to a jamboree. I've seen where some ladies mediate and influenced cutting down of some items. Women should know that their role as a wife starts from pre wedding preparation. My advice to you is swallow your pride and apologize. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Hier(m): 3:18pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3: Haaaaa, she vex, she is insensitive ooooo A man that is grieving already, she is adding more salt to his injury, first of all, depression and thoughts, the guys just couldn't go back, omo, to be a wife means to be one with the husband, as in, partner, you go through everything together, anything that happens to A, you treat it as if it's happening to B likewise. Everything was going well, but for her to have uttered that statement, lot of ladies are out there looking for who to look their direction and show interest in them and here is she saying this and that. I believe marriage is about mutual understanding, probably the guy could not resist the feelings he had for the lady but likewise, the lady has her marriage to protect and dropping insensitive comments could not be it, she needs to apologize to the guy and help him work things out. 100k - expenses, then loan servings, I won't even advise an enemy to take loan just to make a point, but he did his thing, but the lady should understand the guy loves her so much to stick his neck out Firstly the list, then the hall, then a cow, 😂😆🤣 its like an onion, you open one layer another layer opens lol, but because you have opened the first layer, you think, another try 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by fineboynl(m): 3:19pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Like as I will always tell men. If you think 2m will cover your marriage than get additional 4m. Because once you enter you will realise that budget wouldn't be enough. Hence you start borrowing just to finish it and people will be consoling you that it's just for once. You won't do it again forget that most marriage doesn't even last nowadays. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Chironks: 3:22pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
You both need to seek counsel and start afresh. Jewessgratitud3: |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by scoobyblogspot(m): 3:24pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3: Well... your husband is going tru a lot. The loan, Dept and everything. I know someone who is going through same thing, he was pressured to marrying his wife, then bills came in and it was over his capacity. The truth again is marriage is not as easy as it seems. You cannot say you want to prepare until you get into it. It’s really not easy for him; I sense you didn’t really support him nor stand by him. Think about where you messed up, encourage him and make your marriage work |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by aoshea18: 3:27pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3: Anfield boss has been trying to respond to you in a mature and sensible way but obviously you're not mature enough to comprehend the depth of his replies to you. His words ring true and sentiments such as yours is why 90% of marriages fail in the first 5 years. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by 12345baba(m): 3:32pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
She could have just apologized to the husband than giving him that kind reply. My wife fought for me shaa! Respect wifey. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Jewessgratitud3: 3:34pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
bekpo: Apologize for what exactly? For paying for something you wanted? Maybe the Men should start marrying themselves if they feel spending on marriage is not worth it. |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by NAC1666: 3:34pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3:It shows that your husband is growing....Obi will one day be a man |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Chemlite: 3:35pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Jewessgratitud3:The senseless goat is more sensible & preferable to you. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Not The Same Man I Married. by Berankis: 3:35pm On Aug 14, 2023 |
Personally, I would not marry a woman like you because of your father/family. At least, I am a married man and I know how my father in-law was really understanding when I wanted to get married. In fact, it was my own family that were trying to elaborate things beyond my strength. Life is how you take it, I understand people might have standards but standards can sometimes be lowered to have a common ground. Even God lowers His standards to forgive us for how terrible we behave. 1 Like |
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