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How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? - Family - Nairaland

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How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by ruuudboy: 7:09pm On Dec 13, 2014
We have always heard about husband abusing their wives. How is it always like, the other way round? I have never laid my hand on any lady before not to talk of my wife and i don't think i can do such.

As a husband how do you handle it if your wife lay her hand on you either by slapping,punching,biting or rough handling? As a wife, how did your husband handle the situation?

I have been married to my wife going to 4yrs now and yesterday was the second time we had misunderstanding that led to serious confrontation.....Initially when it all started around 9pm, i kept quiet and didnt respond to her ranting. When she realized i wasn't responding, she moved close to me, started punching me, bit me and somehow slapped me in the process with serious ranting "you'll kill me today."

I tried as much as not to retaliate and removed myself from her, ran to the visitors room and locked myself in there....she continued talking and started hitting the door with a stick, after which i realized that with the way things are going, neighbours on the next flat might want to come and asked what was wrong, which i do much detest.

I started begging her from inside after which she calmed down and i opened the door.....we talked it through till late in d night and settled our differences which she later apologised for raising her hand on me and promised never to do that again no matter what happened.

The issue now is, i put myself in another man's shoe that how do people handle things like this in marriage as a husband?

As a wife, how did your husband handle issues of misunderstanding? The first thing that came to my mind yesterday when she hit me was the word of my boss who always say, AT THE HIGHEST POINT OF PROVOCATION, ALWAYS EXERCISE CAUTION.

Married peeps, how do u handle this?

32 Likes 9 Shares

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Tallesty1(m): 7:12pm On Dec 13, 2014
Cococandy, Mondisweets....eerrrmm, This young man needs unah.

2 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Nobody: 7:19pm On Dec 13, 2014
Bachelors were not invited. ...av got to bounce cool

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Rexphobia(m): 7:27pm On Dec 13, 2014
So I can't talk shey? Coz I'm not married










I have often used this strategy but the issue with ladies is that when they are angry and start misyarning they need something to reset them like a slap before they will become calm. Then you can reason.


A girl once slapped me at home coz she knew I couldn't hit a woman. She apologised later and said she will never do that again. She lied... She did one too many times... Not like she's an abusive chick.... She was only taking advantage of the "weaker sex" thingie

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by satowind(m): 7:27pm On Dec 13, 2014
Since seun no send me because am not tonto dike let me send my self...










On the 12th day of Christmas my true luv gave to my family #me.












Pls like to wish me happy birthday.











You guys gave me 100 likes for my birthday. #inTears I love u nairalanders. For the guys no homo pls nah just luv.

107 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by lilreese: 7:28pm On Dec 13, 2014
No women can abuse me, that why i'm a man.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Anaskie(m): 7:28pm On Dec 13, 2014
.
Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by okotv(m): 7:28pm On Dec 13, 2014
I don't joke with violence. No matter who shows it. If a woman shows any sign of violence or abuse, its over. No going back.
Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by damiso(f): 7:29pm On Dec 13, 2014
What she did was soo wrong on all levels..well done for having the self restraint not to retaliate and being the bigger person.

I think you need to have a heart to heart Frank Mature Firm Talk with her.Tell her you will not tolerate assault from her and let her know you mean it.

You have to nip that kind of behaviour in the bud ASAP. Is this the first time she has reacted in such a manner?

***Modified*** just read you have been married for 4 yrs and this is the second time.

Let her know if it EVER EVER happens again you are gone.

13 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Gifted4all(m): 7:30pm On Dec 13, 2014
Silent treatment is better

1 Like

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by nikkyshyne(f): 7:31pm On Dec 13, 2014
lilreese:
No women can abuse me, that why i'm a men.
But you can abuse english abi?

85 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by yungcyrus(m): 7:31pm On Dec 13, 2014
Sumtymx slap is d best Option

9 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by drnairalov: 7:31pm On Dec 13, 2014
I do pray

----------------------
My wife scored a free Kick against me with Mikel OBI while playing FIFA 13...

i broke up with her...aint no way she learnt how to do that if she wasnt taken lessons from another man cry *sadface

22 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Nobody: 7:31pm On Dec 13, 2014
You need a separation from that woman.

1. That woman fit hit you with stick or land table or bottle on your head one day.
2. When a woman raises her hand to slap a man, all atom-and I mean every single grain of respect is gone in that marriage. My people call it 'see finish', and you ain't getting that respect back anytime soon.
3. The fact that this is her second time means she'll most likely keep doing it till Jesus comes.
This is one situation where I'll say you probably need to send her back to her father for some retraining (like coogar will say) undecided

30 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by raumdeuter: 7:31pm On Dec 13, 2014
whisperNigeria:
Ignore her... He dey pain them

How do you ignore someone who takes a knife to you, slap you and kick your balls? Just trying to understand

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Nobody: 7:31pm On Dec 13, 2014
am not married

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Nobody: 7:31pm On Dec 13, 2014
80% of nairalanders aint married smiley

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by luvly101: 7:32pm On Dec 13, 2014
*thumbs up*
Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Anaskie(m): 7:32pm On Dec 13, 2014
You ran away and locked urself in the room? shocked

I respect you bro.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by kilokeys(m): 7:33pm On Dec 13, 2014
pinkiecutie:
80% of nairalanders aint married smiley
e-xactly

personally ill walk.. i hate violence, i hate nags
Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Damey2011(m): 7:33pm On Dec 13, 2014
I will always tell her "Don't worry, I understand" grin

1 Like

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by mencade4: 7:33pm On Dec 13, 2014
even if u r wrong dont beg any woman.....

8 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by ruuudboy: 7:33pm On Dec 13, 2014
nikkyshyne:
But you can abuse english abi?


grin grin cheesy bad geh

1 Like

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Nobody: 7:33pm On Dec 13, 2014
Leave the house for her at that moment.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by condralbede(m): 7:34pm On Dec 13, 2014
Am just observing.... and to learn from the masters.
Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by bjayx: 7:34pm On Dec 13, 2014
I think its very wrong for any spouse to lay hands on another at any slight of provocation. I cant do it and if my woman tries it, i'll deal wit her so she wont try it again. If i dont deal wit her, she'll do it again...somday publicly. Infact, anger is a big NO for me.

9 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by gurunlocker: 7:35pm On Dec 13, 2014
lilreese:
No women can abuse me, that why i'm a men.

you're a MEN..... WTF was that

God punish your English teacher

17 Likes

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by esere826: 7:35pm On Dec 13, 2014
@ruuudboy
no one has the right to hit the other
whether na man or woman

sit her down now before the next incident ever occurs and firmly tell her that if this happens again it would be taken seriously
if it does occur again, record the event and show it to her family,... not yours yet.
Calmly tell her family to call her to order

if it progresses further, report her to your pastors wife
If after that it occurs yet again
then learn to lock her up in a room, instead of yourself and start working on a process for separation from her or sleeping out

Sleeping out will get to her seriously
Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by Laeroy(f): 7:35pm On Dec 13, 2014
Being married for a month now....There's not been any abuse of whatever kind....so imma say God reigns in my house....HALLALUYAH.....

1 Like

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by ruuudboy: 7:35pm On Dec 13, 2014
Gifted4all:
Silent treatment is better


the silent treatment was actually what infuriated her......according to her, she was talking,instead of me 2 respond and settle things, i just kept quiet which she was tired of and needed us to settle things asap

1 Like

Re: How Do U Handle Abused In A Marriage As A Husband? by kazlaw2000: 7:36pm On Dec 13, 2014
ruuudboy:
We have always heard about husband abusing their wives. How is it always like, the other way round? I have never laid my hand on any lady before not to talk of my wife and i don't think i can do such.

As a husband how do you handle it if your wife lay her hand on you either by slapping,punching,biting or rough handling? As a wife, how did your husband handle the situation?

I have been married to my wife going to 4yrs now and yesterday was the second time we had misunderstanding that led to serious confrontation.....Initially when it all started around 9pm, i kept quiet and didnt respond to her ranting. When she realized i wasn't responding, she moved close to me, started punching me, bit me and somehow slapped me in the process with serious ranting "you'll kill me today."

I tried as much as not to retaliate and removed myself from her, ran to the visitors room and locked myself in there....she continued talking and started hitting the door with a stick, after which i realized that with the way things are going, neighbours on the next flat might want to come and asked what was wrong, which i do much detest.

I started begging her from inside after which she calmed down and i opened the door.....we talked it through till late in d night and settled our differences which she later apologised for raising her hand on me and promised never to do that again no matter what happened.

The issue now is, i put myself in another man's shoe that how do people handle things like this in marriage as a husband?

As a wife, how did your husband handle issues of misunderstanding? The first thing that came to my mind yesterday when she hit me was the word of my boss who always say, AT THE HIGHEST POINT OF PROVOCATION, ALWAYS EXERCISE CAUTION.

Married peeps, how do u handle this?
You are a very patient person. Kudos. I may not be able to withstand such brazeness from my wife. I would be firm but stop short of raising my hands on her. But i would let her know i wouldnt stand for such rascality. But going to the extent of locking yourself in a room to escape? Nah. Thats too weak.

17 Likes

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