carefreewannabe:


Such things can only be discussed on NL. I love it.

Imagine someone complaining that your OWN FATHER gave you a car!

Such men have no place in my life. My family would disown me if I dared to surround myself with such people.

LordReed:


What a joke. A man that will tell me as a father that I need his permission to buy my daughter a gift because he is her husband has proved himself a donkey. She is my daughter and no man can tell me when or how I should give my daughter a gift.

So you will ask your daughter's husband permission? Was she sold? Is she a slave?

chuksbogus:
.

Chillisauce:


So what happens if you finally inherits your father's property, the man will come take it as per being the 'head' that married the neck. .

alutaa:



Lady, i am not here to win an argument by been aggressive on the internet. Too aggressive.....

My school of thoughts is that any third parties should not be allow in a marriage. If the boy parent make the proposition and he didn't discuss it with his wife or the parent did not discuss it with both of them (same situation apply to the girl parent) then, there is a fundamental issue of communication in the marriage.

LordReed:


What a joke. A man that will tell me as a father that I need his permission to buy my daughter a gift because he is her husband has proved himself a donkey. She is my daughter and no man can tell me when or how I should give my daughter a gift.

So you will ask your daughter's husband permission? Was she sold? Is she a slave?

carefreewannabe:


Exactly because else the society will be destroyed and the world come to an end.

Chillisauce:


So what happens if you finally inherits your father's property, the man will come take it as per being the 'head' that married the neck. .

carefreewannabe:

Exactly because else the society will be destroyed and the world come to an end.

EfemenaXY:


Er...not only will he inherit the FIL's property left to his daughter, Oga will have no qualms collecting the car keys na. Come, how you go dey ask this kind qweshion? Abeg shine your eyes jare.



LMAO!

Madam, you are sooo cynical!

Emaprince:
Nairaland women will be quick to jump in and blame the man but if the tables were turned,they'll want to know if there's some rift bwtween the MIL and wifey...

If this story is real,then the FIL and the son are not in good terms...may be the FIL never approved of him in the first place and he'll be quick to jump in and give the daughter anything she lacks just to spite the hubby and remind him that he's not the right person to marry his daughter and he(FIL) still see his daughter as single.
But if there was no rift between hubby and FIL..I don't see any problem with the gift.

EfemenaXY:


I'm not being aggressive, and neither does this "talk" qualify as an argument in my book.

Contrary to what you think, I don't see the issue as communication in marriage. The issue is the man's over inflated ego and sense of entitlement / self-worth. This isn't a village headmaster / errant pupil scenario.

Oga is struggling. Madam is suffering. Papa has chosen out of the goodness of his heart to help out. Oga should do the decent thing and thank papa for his help.

Or what would it profit him if his wife is run down to the ground from sheer exhaustion?

Emaprince:
Nairaland women will be quick to jump in and blame the man but if the tables were turned,they'll want to know if there's some rift bwtween the MIL and wifey...

If this story is real,then the FIL and the son are not in good terms...may be the FIL never approved of him in the first place and he'll be quick to jump in and give the daughter anything she lacks just to spite the hubby and remind him that he's not the right person to marry his daughter and he(FIL) still see his daughter as single.
But if there was no rift between hubby and FIL..I don't see any problem with the gift.

Elantracey:
What's wrong in a father buying his daughter a car since he couldn't afford one at that moment and obviously its needed ?

EfemenaXY:


And here I was thinking guys are usually cool with themselves and don't get into squabbles.

The concept of a meddling FIL is beyond me. Yes, MILs are guilty of doing this, but FILs? Abeg, Oga husband should go sort out his insecurities and make peace with his FIL.

The guy is just too damn proud imho.

freeboy604:


This is totally wrong, let me tell you that as a married woman you are no longer under your father, even in your working documents your fathers name has been replaced with that of your husband , why would a Father favour his daughter when he knows this will brings negative felling amongst couple as it now, when only one car was functioning because of the love/understanding they has for each other they still manage to make sure the car served both of them, now, based on the way he got involved did he brings joy to them or asunder? as human dont forget that we think alot to see why individual take some certain action on some issue, mostly now that that sometimes you hear issue of Father sleeping with their daughters. Will you blame the husband if he thinks towards this direction? Heemmm lol

Now the father failed to follow the right channel, it would have been better for him to call both of them and explain his feeling/concern to them and give both of them the car as a gift to thir family and as a lovely family the husband will prefer she used the one that will not be given her problem because the husband will want to avoid his wife calling him for assistance as a result of vehicle broken down.

This would have be a better was.

EfemenaXY:


And here I was thinking guys are usually cool with themselves and don't get into squabbles.

The concept of a meddling FIL is beyond me. Yes, MILs are guilty of doing this, but FILs? Abeg, Oga husband should go sort out his insecurities and make peace with his FIL.

The guy is just too damn proud imho.

alutaa:
If your Mother in-law bought a new set of cooking pots for his daughter in-law and gave it to his son, will the daughter in-law be happy?
To all ladies that said that there is nothing wrong, if your mother in law start buying cooking pots and plates for your kitchen, will you be happy with that?
What the father in-law did that was wrong is to give the car to his daughter directly without informing his son in-law. Best way to go about it is for the father in-law to present the car to them as a couple instead of giving it to his daughter directly.

Emaprince:
this isn't about guys being cool with eachother.. Maybe its about guys spiting each other..
But honestly,if I was in his shoes,even if I have a problem with the FIL..I won't even make any noise if he bought her a car..I'll just congratulate her but I'll not touch the car before dem go start dey yab me..especially the man himself.

coogar:


colonel save-a-sket to the rescue.

LordReed:


If you like go and prostrate to your son in law when the time comes because you wanna sate his fragile self confidence.

aisha2:


My mother in law has bought me cooking items infact she still dey buy. She likes shopping so if she sees she buys and sends no one has died, my breas-t hasn't fallen, my feminity still in check. Infact she makes soups, grills chicken, meat and others and sends.
Kini big deal? Poverty makes us act like crazy people, fighting and beefing over inconsequential stuff. Relax and enjoy life. Your wife should not suffer because you think your peni-s will decrease by an inch if her father refuses to see her suffering to boost your pride and ego.

And please before someone comes and concocts another story with " single and married women learn from my mistakes how my rich father destroyed my marriage " make I go find money hehehe

EfemenaXY:


Your perverted logic is quite sickening.

So a father helping out his married daughter financially means he's sleeping with her? Just when I thought I'd seen it all, some nland males descend to new lower levels.

coogar:


i would let my daughter & her hubby handle their marriage as responsible adults without interfering. this is what i would expect from a responsible father but then responsible fathers are not common in this day & age.....

you are still a colonel save-a-sket though!

Shirley07:

Even when the husband beat her till death? Don't let me say that would be your portion.
You know what a responsible dad does, give his children full security and protection from any harm, sufferings e.t.c. There is a reason christians equate God to a fatherly figure, not husband.

EfemenaXY:


This has got to be the most silly story I've read today, and a prime example of your typical black man seeing nothing wrong with his wife suffering, as long as his over inflated ego is massaged to the n^th degree.

@OP: think about it. How would you as a father whose nutured and brought up his daughter feel, seeing her suffering, knowing you could help ease her discomfort? Does being married mean that you as a father would totally wash your hands off your daughter?

If your parents had bought the car for her instead, would you still feel so miffed about it? Or still hold the opinion that your parents are interfering with your marriage?

Guy, pls.

carefreewannabe:

Chillisauce:

So what happens if you finally inherits your father's property, the man will come take it as per being the 'head' that married the neck. .

carefreewannabe:


Even if your assumption was true, the husband has NO RIGHT to tell a father what to give his daughter. He is HER FATHER! The husband has to respect it, whether he likes it or not.

If any man dared to put himself between me and my family, he would quickly become part of my past. I am not joking when it comes to my family. I will respect his family and I expect him to do the same.
Who does he think he is, my master? He will tell the people that raised me how to treat me? Scandalous.

Apart from this, a smart man will be happy that a father supports them financially.
Instead of showing how weak his ego is, he should begin to learn how to profit.

aisha2:

My mother in law has bought me cooking items infact she still dey buy. She likes shopping so if she sees she buys and sends no one has died, my breas-t hasn't fallen, my feminity still in check. Infact she makes soups, grills chicken, meat and others and sends.
Kini big deal? Poverty makes us act like crazy people, fighting and beefing over inconsequential stuff. Relax and enjoy life. Your wife should not suffer because you think your peni-s will decrease by an inch if her father refuses to see her suffering to boost your pride and ego.
And please before someone comes and concocts another story with " single and married women learn from my mistakes how my rich father destroyed my marriage " make I go find money hehehe

coogar:


beating her at all, never mind beating her to death is a crime. sharing a family car isn't a crime. if the FIL didn't find him competent enough as a hubby, why did he marry his daughter to him?

what kinda father in law revels in causing havoc in his daughter's marriage. how about calling the couple & presenting the car to them jointly? what kinda FIL undermines the self confidence of his son in law? if he loves his daughter so much, he shoulda married her himself.

shirley, you no watch our game?

Shirley07:

Your previous post says otherwise. You said a father shouldn't involve himself in his daughter's affair, why changing your tone now?

Don't also forget the said husband has a car already. it's the wife that needs a car, not hubby.

As for your Q, I'm not seeing the match.

crackhaus:
What happened to giving her the car to commemorate an occasion, like her birthday/wedding/wedding anniversary/child naming ceremony etc.?
This is the normal routine among wealthy fathers who dote on their married daughters, at least among those I've come across.

Any special event/ceremony which a father can use to dote on his married daughter is better than just outrightly presenting a car to her on the basis that he wants to alleviate her suffering - something about this story just isn't right.