Nonso23:

That okafor with big blokos married her and paid his dues before the same meddling parent considered him a worthy son in law.

You women seem to be fond of getting a rare high over kicking your men when they are down.

Anyway there is NL, and there is REAL LIFE.

Lending a helping hand is seen as "meddling" in your place? Not so in mine.

Like I said, my own "Okafor" won't see it as a biggie, he would call FIL sef to thank him. Life is easy when we make it so.

Whatever works for you, my dear. No time for argument at all.

Chillisauce:
Where do women see these kind of men they get married to?
Wonders shall never end.

Sharrap and get married first then come back here and tell us what you ended up with in full details then we would answer your question.

Nonso23:

My parents taught me to respect other people's privacy and their choices because THEY DO THE SAME.

When people need your help they ask you for it. If they don't keep back any greek gift unless there is an appropriate occasion.

I don't have to ask my parents for anything. They know what I need and give it to me if they can. Very simple. No need to ask anyone for permission to receive gifts from my parents. Ridiculous.

D

Chillisauce:


maybe societal pressure in order to answer Mrs okegbulem

As if one Mr Okegbulam ever took you serious in your entire life.

Matthewbriggs:


I would call him and thank him for his kind getsure and ask him about when he is sending my own gift.

This depends on a how smooth a Mans relationship is with his FIL.

Both if from day one the man has been given me cold shoulders, and they reason for his gift is spite my inability to provide a car for his daughter. I would ask her to return the car to her father or join her father.

Because seeing that car every day would be psychological unhealthy for our relationship.

Also Every sane father in law understands that the complete acceptance of his gift for his daughter by his son in law is important.

It wouldn't hurt to inform him about it and run it through him. Its a sign of respect and the fact that you acknowledge he exists.

As I earlier said context is everything.

So if you and FIL had issues, you would be unable to handle it in a mature way and leave your wife out of it who would be caught in the middle in this case? Very mature. I hope, you will remember it in case your wife and mother don't get along well.

EfemenaXY:


This has got to be the most silly story I've read today, and a prime example of your typical black man seeing nothing wrong with his wife suffering, as long as his over inflated ego is massaged to the n^th degree.

lolz

@OP: think about it. How would you as a father whose nutured and brought up his daughter feel, seeing her suffering, knowing you could help ease her discomfort? Does being married mean that you as a father would totally wash your hands off your daughter?

the father must watch his daughter being inconvenienced because of ordinary husband, imagine!

If your parents had bought the car for her instead, would you still feel so miffed about it? Or still hold the opinion that your parents are interfering with your marriage?

some men are silly

Truckpusher:
As if one Mr Okegbulam ever took you serious in your entire life.

Jehofa

Mondisweets:
lolz

the father must watch his daughter being inconvenienced because of ordinary husband, imagine!

some men are silly

You lots are the silly people here.

Someone cooked up a story without any confirmation but you lots with too many emotional baggage are swallowing everything hook,line and sinker.

Are black women just naturally dumb ?

cc
SirShymexx
Ilekokonit

Come and see how dumb our ladies are.

coogar:


there must have been some undercurrents for the hubby to have reacted angrily. if both parties(FIL & hubby) were on the same page, it's unlikely that the hubby would react angrily with his wife's new gift from the FIL.

i'm sure this issue has been debated by both parties with the hubby insisting he's fine with the status quo & the FIL defying the hubby. in that case, it's understandable that the hubby reacted angrily. a wife will also react badly if MIL brings food from the village or brings a maid from the village to cook for the hubby.

it's not about the gift - it's the fact that the FIL's decision to buy the car will question the hubby's competence...

We hope you will ask your son in-law permission to do anything for your daughter in the future

coogar:


a bïtch-ašs hubby would let his FIL overrule his decision. a sane hubby would flip you a bird & return the car back to you in a bubblewrap. i am the head of my household, not your daughter!

Excuse me, a gift overrules which decision?

Truckpusher:
You lots are the silly people here.

Someone cooked up a story without any confirmation but you lots with too many emotional baggage are swallowing everything hook,line and sinker.

if you have nothing to contribute, just exit the thread in peace. Posting a comment is not by force

Are black women just naturally dumb ?

Come and see how dumb our ladies are.

now you are going too far, bros we are not friends like that. Park well

Nonso23:

As long as you are single, good for you. Marriage is a different issue altogether.
Matured Parents give their children space to develop into their own individuals after the period of training is officially over.
A married child is even more out of the equation when their palms itch to give troublesome presents.

My family remains my family whether I am married or not and just because I have a husband, they don'T have to ask anyone for permission to give me a gift.

Additionally, my family is my hubby's family too once we get married, this is why you call your wife's parents MOTHER-in-law and FATHER-in-law.

Mondisweets:
We hope you will ask your son in- law permission to do anything for your daughter in the future

of course....
once my daughter is married, her hubby is the next of kin, not me.

young couples should be allowed to build together, learn together & err together. i will not undermine my son-in-law just because I feel like throwing my weight around.

only irresponsible fathers do such - the nouveau riche are most likely to have this rotten attitude. why can't 2 people share a car? if the wife can't get pregnant, will the father sleep with her to ease her worries?

LordReed:

Excuse me, a gift overrules which decision?

your greek gift overrules my decision.
i intend to be the head of my house though so i woulda put you in your place long before I get married to your daughter. keep your gifts to yourself or to your other unmarried kids.

this is why i tell men of today to make money before ever thinking of getting married. can you imagine? you would gift my wife a car without my consent as her hubby? what a joke!!! better prepare the guest room under your roof cos your daughter & the car would be coming back in the evening as your guests.

Tashamania:


Jehofa

Truth be told.
Most of these ladies never got a proposal from anyone since they attained maturity ,yet they come here to talk trash about men on a story without a reliable source just to feel good about themselves.

I have seen a lot of them ,they are empty,dumb,ugly with nothing to offer apart from sex with a loud manner and no man in his right senses would end up with such things.

After all ,women are so cheap that sex from them can be bought even by an imbeciile.

So, what is the point of trying to feel one thing when you and I know that they'd sell their body when the chips are down.......all they need is a man with the right amount and almost 98% of them talking rubbish here will open their legs even for dogs.

coogar:


of course....
once my daughter is married, her hubby is the next of kin, not me.

young couples should be allowed to build together, learn together & err together. i will not undermine my son-in-law just because I feel like throwing my weight around.

only irresponsible fathers do such - the nouveau riche are most likely to have this rotten attitude. why can't 2 people share a car? if the wife can't get pregnant, will the father sleep with her to ease her worries?

Wtf. Is this not morbidly disturbing? Did you type that ish with a straight face?

*closes thread*

Mondisweets:
if you have nothing to contribute, just exit the thread in peace. Posting a comment is not by force

now you are going too far, bros we are not friends like that. Park well

Hehe calm down, you should know Truckpusher by now naa

EnlightenedSoul:
[/b]

Wtf. Is this not morbidly disturbing? Did you type that with a straight face?

*closes thread*

what is so disturbing in daughters getting helped by their fathers as it's been explained here?

we read naija news everyday of all sorts of incëst going on in hundreds of thousands of households so i am not surprised by the reaction i am getting here.

coogar:


of course....
once my daughter is married, her hubby is the next of kin, not me.

so she cannot receive a gift directly. Someone has to give a stamp of approval first, shebi he has become her second father?

young couples should be allowed to build together, learn together & err together. i will not undermine my son-in-law just because I feel like throwing my weight around.

if she has meetings to attend during the day she has to move around in cabs with is quite costly, simply because you don't want to bruise your son in-law's ego?

only irresponsible fathers do such - the nouveau riche are most likely to have this rotten attitude. why can't 2 people share a car? if the wife can't get pregnant, will the father sleep with her to ease her worries?

rotten attitude abi? If he has to work late, who will pick her up and take her home in time to make dinner? If she has business meetings to attend to during the week who will drive her around? If she wants to attend a wedding out of town and he wants to go watch a game with friends at the bar, who will sacrifice what for who?

LordReed:


If you like go and prostrate to your son in law when the time comes because you wanna sate his fragile self confidence.

Nonso23:

My family is my family but my marriage is MY business and not theirs unless i or my partner is in mortal danger.
They will respect my marriage as my privacy and interfere only when we want them to. These are the values parents should drill into their children.
Any troublesome gift will not be accepted no matter who is doing the presenting.

Mondisweets:
if you have nothing to contribute, just exit the thread in peace. Posting a comment is not by force

now you are going too far, bros we are not friends like that. Park well

What makes my contribution worthless and yours worth reading?

You see the problem you lots have is that you do not hesitate in generalizing but once you are called out you feel bad.

Tell those your fellow NL closet feminists to sharrap and get married first then they can come back and tell us how rosy it is out there.

If I have a wife and she gets a car from her parents I'd be more than happy as my money would be channeled towards other thing, I might just use that opportunity to get myself another nice car or maybe a 7 seater family SUV.

That story doesn't make sense and sounds ridiculous but what's even more ridiculous is the attitude of these ladies you roll with that has nothing to offer any man unless their over used puccy.

Quit following them and you might just get some peace from me.....PEACE

coogar:


what is so disturbing in daughters getting helped by their fathers as it's been explained here?

we read naija news everyday of all sorts of incëst going on in hundreds of thousands of households so i am not surprised by the reaction i am getting here.

Gah. What exactly are you implying??

coogar:


i would let my daughter & her hubby handle their marriage as responsible adults without interfering. this is what i would expect from a responsible father but then responsible fathers are not common in this day & age.....

you are still a colonel save-a-sket though!

Every woman needs a sense of security. They need to go into marriage, knowing they have a father they can always rely on, that way tjey won't suffer silently in marriage.

Tashamania:


Hehe calm down, you should know Truckpusher by now naa

I do joke around with him but thats not a pass to just disrespect me like that, because i never do that with him. I know my limits. I was just making that part clear thats all

Mondisweets:
I do joke around with him but thats not a pass to just disrespect me like that, because i never do that with him. I know my limits. I was just making that part clear thats all

Where is the disrespect in what I wrote?
Truth is bitter, now I know...bye bye

Mondisweets:
so she cannot receive a gift directly. Someone has to give a stamp of approval first, shebi he has become her second father?

she cannot receive gifts that would question his hubby's competence. she's now married - i as her father shoul focus on my own marriage, my other unmarried siblings & leave the daughter alone to deal with her teething problems.

if she has meetings to attend during the day she has to move around in cabs with is quite costly, simply because you don't want to bruise your son in-law's ego?

who chose the hubby for her? did i?
she decided herself that she's found the best man for herself - let her deal with the challenges that come with it. if she needs help, it must be with consent of her hubby. no hidden secrets.

rotten attitude abi? If he has to work late, who will pick her up and take her home in time to make dinner? If she has business meetings to attend to during the week who will drive her around? If she wants to attend a wedding out of town and he wants to go watch a game with friends at the bar, who will sacrifice what for who?

i expect her to have considered all these things before bringing him to my house that she's found the one. i don't do medicine after death. all i need to ask if she's sure the man she's brought home is her wish. i would endeavour to ask her these questions 3 times before giving my blessings to them. if she answers affirmatively, then i dare not interfere until they seek my counsel.

Ibadannimowa:

Every woman needs a sense of security. They need to go into marriage, knowing they have a father they can always rely on, that way tjey won't suffer silently in marriage.

suffer silently in marriage?
what kinda daughter do you intend to raise? my daughter's sense of security would be her intelligence, not me. so wives with no parents have no security?