abbey621:


Please try to think before you write, I know you are intelligent enough to know that not everybody is a Christian. Furthermore she did not date him while he was married, they met after one year and he told her that he was now single, he confided in her that he was having marital problems and his wife wanted a separation, so it is very believable, he even went thru the process of involving his family, so a normal woman has no reason to doubt. Please try not to criticize without first examining all the points!

what i know is she didnt investigate properly because her place of IT would have helped if he was truly single. I believe her boss wasn't her only friend wen she did her IT. So y didnt she ask questions. Dere is no how some workers will not know d current state of d man. Abegi na greed. If na guy wen no get much she go drill d guy with questions even ask d kind of soup d guy chop last

The man might be a scammer but where's the harm in doing a background check before marrying someone for feck's sakes?

Fourwinds:
what i know is she didnt investigate properly because her place of IT would have helped if he was truly single. I believe her boss wasn't her only friend wen she did her IT. So y didnt she ask questions. Dere is no how some workers will not know d current state of d man. Abegi na greed. If na guy wen no get much she go drill d guy with questions even ask d kind of soup d guy chop last

Once again you need to read the story again. While she was doing I.T he was married, he didn't claim to be single till after a year later. Please read the story again!

What a pity, don't worry my dear God Almighty will judge them.

abbey621:


If human beings were perfect we wouldn't have any problems would we? Based on my own personal experiences, I know that matters of the heart can be very tricky, no one is perfect. Anyone could fall into similar circumstances so I suggest not blaming her too much. Yes you are right she needs a solution not more people antagonizing her.

I suggest u use the words tactical. If hunan beings were tactical... and if yes we wont have problems at all. I Advise young people to read wide and be smart. Ive gone as far as buying C.I.A Materials online in order to make myself more aware of human deception. Person no go do back ground check e go come dey bother us with e matter. Na women deceive pass, what most of us are not aware of is the subtle clues they unintentionally drop when they tell lies.

nebukadnezzari:



I suggest u use the words tactical. If hunan beings were tactical... and if yes we wont have problems at all. I Advise young people to read wide and be smart. Ive gone as far as buying C.I.A Materials online in order to make myself more aware of human deception. Person no go do back ground check e go come dey bother us with e matter.

HABA! Life no hard reach that na, if everyone armed themselves like C.I.A operatives imagine what kind of world we would be living in.....

abbey621:


Once again you need to read the story again. While she was doing I.T he was married, he didn't claim to be single till after a year later. Please read the story again!

i have read and digested d story. She did IT a year before d man came calling saying all d pooo. Are u telling me she doesnt know where she did her IT a year ago to ask questions. Or are u telling me if u graduate even after ten years ur employer can not reach out to ur former school to find out certain things about u. Dey can chose to believe d certificate u presented and dey can chose to go further Dan dat to find out behind ur back

Fourwinds:
i have read and digested d story. She did IT a year before d man came calling saying all d pooo. Are u telling me she doesnt know where she did her IT a year ago to ask questions. Or are u telling me if u graduate even after ten years ur employer can not reach out to ur former school to find out certain things about u. Dey can chose to believe d certificate u presented and dey can chose to go further Dan dat to find out behind ur back

You are not being reasonable, so you expect her to go back to where she did I.T after a year and start asking questions about the man's personal life and you also expect people there to entertain such questions. This is reality not a soap opera, better wake up! The best form of evidence was the man's family and unfortunately it didn't workout, if Nigeria was a more civilized society, I would say she should do a background check on him but that option does not exists as we no get verifiable database.

Ishilove:

Source: http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2015/01/new-years-day-chronicles-of-blog.html?m=1

All that glitters are not gold..you caused it yourself..when you hear him discusing with you about his marital problems, you would have take time to do research on him..buh due to impatience u jump into it and nw u ar regreting it..ehh..imagine..it paining me..

MizMyColi:



X'cuse me Ma'am.

This man didn't ask her to date him or become a concubine, he asked her to marry him and "and she obliged" --- just like that.

Jeez! Whatever happened to common sense?

Whatever happened to asking questions.

Someone I haven't seen in a year, pops out of the blues and asks me to marry him, so hastily for that matter. I have been in Nigeria long enough to know that Men aren't so keen on marriage, now if one comes at me with such proposal, an allegedly divorced one at that.......

Call it stalking, call it psycho-analysis, if it pertains a life long decision where I'd mostly be on my own, common sense, even when it's not common requires that I do some background research. I really don't know about other people but as an individual, I've never made a decision while relying totally on my inner light and ever regretted.

Capische?

Dou there is some truth about what u av uttered.. But I guess u are not close to 30 yet.. Maybe u are, bt age in women invokes desperation... I jst feel for her..dazz all

abbey621:



You are not being reasonable, so you expect her to go back to where she did I.T after a year and start asking questions about the man's personal life and you also expect people there to entertain such questions. This is reality not a soap opera, better wake up! The best form of evidence was the man's family and unfortunately it didn't workout, if Nigeria was a more civilized society, I would say she should do a background check on him but that option does not exists as we no get verifiable database.

so i should wake up rite. Going dere to ask is now soap opera. Good. Dere are people i have met in certain place i work or other things, i have phone numbers of some of dem and actually close to at least one person. Call, if d person has no information, let dat one link u to anoda person. At least confide in one what is happening. But u make it all secret u suffer alone. U cannt be smart let someone what is happening to u. Unless u want to b secretive and greedy about it

Fourwinds:
so i should wake up rite. Going dere to ask is now soap opera. Good. Dere are people i have met in certain place i work or other things, i have phone numbers of some of dem and actually close to at least one person. Call, if d person has no information, let dat one link u to anoda person. At least confide in one what is happening. But u make it all secret u suffer alone. U cannt be smart let someone what is happening to u. Unless u want to b secretive and greedy about it

I don't know about you but the place I did I.T for a year was in another state, the people I worked with we had nothing in common and after a year we all went separate ways, keep in mind this was a place I worked for a year o not to talk of someone that did I.T for only a few weeks. You need to wake up and realize life is not all about theories. In addition, when it comes to matters of the heart most people don't have time to do all the detective work you mentioned above, we are humans and operate largely on emotions, abeg give the poor girl a break, she no be James Bond!

abbey621:


Please try to think before you write, I know you are intelligent enough to know that not everybody is a Christian. Furthermore she did not date him while he was married, they met after one year and he told her that he was now single, he confided in her that he was having marital problems and his wife wanted a separation, so it is very believable, he even went thru the process of involving his family, so a normal woman has no reason to doubt. Please try not to criticize without first examining all the points!

NA TODAY NYASH DEY FOR BACK GREED N STUPIDITY MADE HER A CONMANS MARK. YOU NEVER SEE CON WEY DEM INVOLVE PRESIDENT JOIN. SHE WAS CARRIED AWAY BY THE ILLUSION OF MARRIAGE THAT SHE COULDNT SEE THE DETAILS. A wise man once told me its not whats right with the picture that matters, its whats wrong with it. She was used to open the mans wifes womb...

nebukadnezzari:



NA TODAY NYASH DEY FOR BACK GREED N STUPIDITY MADE HER A CONMANS MARK. YOU NEVER SEE CON WEY DEM INVOLVE PRESIDENT JOIN. SHE WAS CARRIED AWAY BY THE ILLUSION OF MARRIAGE THAT SHE COULDNT SEE THE DETAILS. A wise man once told me its not whats right with the picture that matters, its whats wrong with it. She was used to open the mans wifes womb...

Sure she was used but believe it or not, an average woman would fall for the same con over and over again. Women are moved by emotions and no human being is above making a mistake, trust me it could happen to anyone, the elements were just too much to the point that the guy involved his family and also met her family, very sophisticated con. Guys also get duped everyday, I've been duped once also so let's stop all these criticism.

abbey621:


I don't know about you but the place I did I.T for a year was in another state, the people I worked with we had nothing in common and after a year we all went separate ways, keep in mind this was a place I worked for a year o not to talk of someone that did I.T for only a few weeks. You need to wake up and realize life is not all about theories. In addition, when it comes to matters of the heart most people don't have time to do all the detective work you mentioned above, we are humans and operate largely on emotions, abeg give the poor girl a break, she no be James Bond!

in my earlier post i told u marriage is not a four years course or part-time work of six months. Here where i stay, come and see all dese young boys and girls f**king demselves as if tomorrow will not come. Now after putting d girls in a family way u hardly see d boys again. At nite dese girls come out with babies striped to deir back begging under d cover of d nite. So we wel dey keep our pkekus for d rite time we no know wetin we dey do? Because i know say putting a girl in a family way is not one month journey. Tell me all dese girls i make mention of where dey daft dat dey couldn't find out about who was shaggy dem?

at age 22 she married a 42 year old man..She clearly had a motive. She say d man's wealth and wanted to play a smart one but the man was smarter. ..life goes on. collect monthly upkeep for d kids and move on. At 30 now, its almost impossible to see a suitor that wants to marry a mother of 2kids not even 1kid. as long as ur conscience is clear God will fight 4 you

Fourwinds:
in my earlier post i told u marriage is not a four years course or part-time work of six months. Here where i stay, come and see all dese young boys and girls f**king demselves as if tomorrow will not come. Now after putting d girls in a family way u hardly see d boys again. At nite dese girls come out with babies striped to deir back begging under d cover of d nite. So we wel dey keep our pkekus for d rite time we no know wetin we dey do? Because i know say putting a girl in a family way is not one month journey. Tell me all dese girls i make mention of where dey daft dat dey couldn't find out about who was shaggy dem?

Your example has nothing to do with this situation. She didn't just shag him like a street girl, they got married, families were involved so I see no relation to the situation you mentioned. The only mistake she made was to put her trust in a human being, something many of us do everyday.

abbey621:


Your example has nothing to do with this situation. She didn't just shag him like a street girl, they got married, families were involved so I see no relation to the situation you mentioned. The only mistake she made was to put her trust in a human being, something many of us do everyday.

it is d same way dese girls put deir trust on dose guy. Is it not d way d man use mouth to tell her dat her has divorced dat dese guys do use deir mouth to sweet talk d girls too.? What u are not getting here is dat d wealth of man played a major role here. Look at d comparism she gave between where she lives and d first wife and d school her children goes to and d first wife. Is her children not going to school? Is she not accommodated? A husband with a living wife, what do u expected, u share he has simple

Fourwinds:
it is d same way dese girls put deir trust on dose guy. Is it not d way d man use mouth to tell her dat her has divorced dat dese guys do use deir mouth to sweet talk d girls too.? What u are not getting here is dat d wealth of man played a major role here. Look at d comparism she gave between where she lives and d first wife and d school her children goes to and d first wife. Is her children not going to school? Is she not accommodated? A husband with a living wife, what do u expected, u share he has simple

Your example has nothing to do with this situation. She didn't just shag him like a street girl, they got married, families were involved so I see no relation to the situation you mentioned. The only mistake she made was to put her trust in a human being, something many of us do everyday.

Tired of arguing with you!

abbey621:



Your example has nothing to do with this situation. She didn't just shag him like a street girl, they got married, families were involved so I see no relation to the situation you mentioned. The only mistake she made was to put her trust in a human being, something many of us do everyday.

Tired of arguing with you!

i said wealth was what she fell for. She saw her future being guaranteed. It is as if u don't know girls. A girl of 26 years can leave a 28 year old man who is still struggling and coming up to marry a 45 years old man who is established but a windower forgetting dat d man was once a struggling young man at his early age. Dis is greed simple

MizMyColi:


Clearly, she was already coveting the man and thought she could be the solution to his problems.

Which is why she didn't take the pains to find out the truth for herself --- if only she applied some brain.

Now, what do we blame her current predicament on?

Her desperation and gullibility or greed?

**modified**

Someone quoted me and talked about going with his family --- that's a good point.

Is there a possibility the "family" was deceived too?
Or were they in on the whole thing?
The human race isn't particularly known for "Goodness."


This isn't me trading blames. Trust me, I feel this woman's pain, I'm just not willing to put it all in writing at the moment.

But as ladies, we need to learn. We need to stop taking things at face value and put on our thinking caps.

It's okay to live and love like your life depended on it.

However I believe that there is a spirit in man, the inspiration of the almighty gives us understanding - of what is right, of what is wrong, of what to do, of what not to do.

I can bet my Nairaland account that before she decided to go on with this man, there were red flags, ones she ignored for whatever reasons there might be. That's if she even took time to court him first or thoroughly listened to her inner light.

[b]Inner light[/b]baby pull over




Abi na illuminati

Mondisweets:
Even his family was involved a normal woman would be of the reasonable belief that he really is being genuine......

Only God knows where all the desparation and greed ideas came from.
Do you always stalk or psychoanalyse everyone you date?

Gbosa.. ...and very direct...I like I Like.

Have been reading posts on NL for a while but this particular one caught my attention so I had to join to share my experience . Really single ladies need to be careful and wise. I met a guy at my friend's wedding 2yrs back, I never knew this guy was married that day, so we became friends, we talk on a daily basis and we were getting close. To cut the long story short, this guy later told me he's married but he likes me so much that I should please marry him because his wife didn't conceive for 12months after marriage but later conceived, the wife was pregnant when I met him, he told me all this when she put to bed but to my surprise, this guy was on me begging me to marry him because he wasn't sure the baby is his child,that I should just please get pregnant for him because he would do the DNA of the child, and divorce . I laughed in Chinese.....imagine a man calling his child a bastard just to get down? I started hating on him since that day.

nebukadnezzari:



I WISH YOU WERE THE GIRLS BOYFRIEND THEN WHEN HER BOSS CAME TO PROPOSE TO HER...I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT BULLSHIT LOOK ON YOUR FACE WHEN SHE CRASHES YOUR RELATIONSHIP. AS FOR THE GUYS THAT CAN MARRY HER AFTER THIS KINDDA CONTROVERSY...THEY LIKE TOKUNBO TINS.

hehehe..... Dude.... Dont you think that eish has happened to me? My GF got married to a Lagos dude dat proposed to her while we where dating..... BTW.... Where was it mentioned that she had a BF?? You think she'll just marry some random dude cos he proposed to her when she has a BF?? Not all women are gold diggers bro.... The earlier you realise this, the better for you... We still got women of integrity out there so quit being a punk a55....

Fourwinds:
so d prophet dat told King David how he snatched his subordinate's wife(bathsabad), God will punish him rite. Or John the Baptist who told King Herod what he did by taking anoda man's wife is judging Herod rite and God will punish John the Baptist for saying it out. Is dat what u are saying

Has anyone knowingly taken someone else's husband here?

uplawal:
You are just the best carefreewannabe,theres nothing bad the lady has done,the man only lied to her,deceived her and reck her emotionally,i married a divorcee too and i dnt even request for divorced certificate that nairalanders are crucifying her for,am enjoying my marriage as if the man never married before,so people should just stop abusing her,counsel her and pray for a better future for her.

There are some very unrealistic comments here, like call the ex and make enquiries. I am sure that most people here would not call an ex wife and have a talk with her. It is either you trust your partner or you don't. Calling his ex to spy on him would be wrong and can break a relationship. If my boyfriend called my ex, I would feel disrespected. The girl was cheated on and deceived by this man and he is to blame and NOT she for having trusted him. She had no bad intentions. It is easy to condemn someone.

I am happy to hear that you are enjoying your marriage. May God bless your home.

This story doesn't add up! The lady in question married the man out of desperation...

FLYGERIAN91:
hehehe..... Dude.... Dont you think that eish has happened to me? My GF got married to a Lagos dude dat proposed to her while we where dating..... BTW.... Where was it mentioned that she had a BF?? You think she'll just marry some random dude cos he proposed to her when she has a BF?? Not all women are gold diggers bro.... The earlier you realise this, the better for you... We still got women of integrity out there so quit being a punk a55....

SWALLOW A CHILL PILL BRO... Since when do women of integrity marry divorced men without proper confirmation from God. Oya na her integrity done land am for dust bin
My friend wisen up, recognise a LovePeddler wen you meet one.

hmmmm.practically money is power,get a job and empower ur self, pray also.take it dat u re a single mother,God wld see u thru

carefreewannabe:


There are some very unrealistic comments here, like call the ex and make enquiries. I am sure that most people here would not call an ex wife and have a talk with her. It is either you trust your partner or you don't. Calling his ex to spy on him would be wrong and can break a relationship. If my boyfriend called my ex, I would feel disrespected. The girl was cheated on and deceived by this man and he is to blame and NOT she for having trusted him. She had no bad intentions. It is easy to condemn someone.

I am happy to hear that you are enjoying your marriage. May God bless your home.

YOU ARE VERY FREE TO JUMP INTI MARRIAGE WITHOUT PROPER BACKGROUND CHECK. Thats why most of you get killed by the same death which killed your father and his father. Always close the old chapter in order to open a new one. VISIT THIS PAGE ON FB "AMARA VAN LARE" You will find out that 80% of marriages in nigeria are sour as a reault of improper background checks b4 marriage.

only greedy persons are scammed, he saw right through u dat u are obviously after a ready made man and luxurious life, it's obvious u are d materialistic type and to me he already settled u so stop crying dat u were dumped.