Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.


Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.

She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

And after all these you rae still staying with her...nawa.... na she dey feed u

How can you comfortably marry somebody that curses you and cause you harm and threaten to kill u

Well its up to u

The bible say marriage is until death do u apart. If u know what i mean

Been a man is not how long and thick your sick dick is but how you take control of situations

To be honest to you..your not in control and she is in control and take it or leave it ..your wife is hasty and she doesn't respect you and above all you have lost your ego and credibility in from of your family and in laws

You can take away everything from a man but you can't take away his ego..when that is done he is finished

She has taken away your help ego

So deal with it

Take a decision and stop crying us a river

illitrate:
The bible say marriage is until death do u apart. If u know what i mean

No....
I doubt that ..bible said in Bible Leviticus ( king james) ...if you want to divorce your wife ..write her a letter of divorce and endorse

The Bible also said in book of Sirach 25 (Catholic Bible ) that if your wife is not submissive to you as a man get rid of her


So mind what you say

Where exactly did the two of u meet, in a club house or hotel?

Did u seek the face of God before getting married to her?

Problem.
1. You married a crazy biarch (your mistake).
2. Your crazy biarch has crazy and stupid dumb bitches as her sisters.
3. She will most likely either kill you (diabolically, or with assassins or make you crash your car) or fhuck you up because she sounds like someone that has done it before.

Now. Do this,
1. Re-brand yourself. Stop exchanging words with the bitch, cos it b would make you look like a bitch. In other words, when you are at home, don't say shyte. Do what you gotta do. Be unpredictable.
2. Consider yourself single. You are going to get a divorce. There is no hope, trust me, I have had two folks that got married to crazy bitches (you are even lucky, one of them used to threaten to stab d dude.) How you go about getting the divorce is up to you.
3. Let your folks know who to arrest in case you get popped.
4. Hang out with friends a little more, if you've got any. Will take your mind off it. Forget all that tall about bumpy early stage of marriage, that's bullcrap brof.

A55 pads. Who does that? Ridiculous. Your dominance should have been stamped while you two were dating. Instead, you were forming I'm In love and don't want to hurt her.

mystiqueDZ:
A LADY does not turn trashy overnight!A LADY knows the difference between venting her anger and cursing you....

From op's story, his wife couldn't have changed all of a sudden unless his own wickedness triggered...

Bye!

Some women are nasty ...I'll trained by family

my question is she wearing it before marriage?.if yes, why do you allow her then? .for the financial problem don’t expect all Lady to help you unless they wish. any time your Wife take care of the basic thing in the family many of them become angry with you.they feel since she is the one paying pill you are of no use. they look down on you.those kind of Lady view her own money as her security and hers own alone.you asking for it is like throwing it away. they feel since she contribute equal with you ,you are not to detect for her.the big mistake is to allow your Wife to pay for house rent for you.instead bollow from someone. or since you know she is angry, you should have give her back.am talking from experience. There is things you don’t allow woman pay for you.if you still need your respect in your home. you don’t ask your woman for money rather Tricks her to spend the money. so in conclution,when ever you are broke and your wife help you pay your due.you have to borrow patience ,endurance, tolerate her .You have to be more friendly to make her forget it. For guys that marry lady for their juicey career should think again.

Rosarie:
first year of marriage has a lot of challenges but dose her words re deep cos as a wife na she suppose dey pray for y n again she hails from a stipud home but in all i blame u cos GOD will nvs ever lead u on a rong path.GOD DDID NOT GIVE A GO AHEAD N AM SURE U HAD PRE MARITAL SEX HE HATES SIN N WILL ALLOW U MAKE UR DESICIONS.MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSE TO B A BLISS

what is this one saying??

elantraceey:



why are you sounding like you were there when they were dating? No need to jump into hasty conclusions .


In as much as i'm against premarital sex i believe God doesn't purnish fornicator with a fsiled marriage else 80% of marriages would have failed just as it began.

ain't the 80% of marriages failing already

Allow her go pls...

Rep042:


Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.


Thank you.

Why are you so worked up about her butt pads that you are telling her to remove it and even forcefully tearing it off her body in a fight?

You have a child and a job and you are worried about butt pads. I think you have your priorities mixed up.

You have a domineering personality that you need to curb for the sake of your child who needs both parents.

Yoruba's have a term called 'Mo ju ku ro' which means ignore things. Because of a butt pad, you have brought out the worst in your wife.

I suggest you leave her and her butt pads alone and focus on staying in your marraige for the sake of your child. All men tolerate crap like this for the sake of their kids, join the club.

As for your wife, she is immature and needs some kind of help. She also knows butt pads are your weak points and she is using them to make you lose control of yourself. Regain your control back.

Drone007:

UNTRUE.
In a Christian marriage, two become one(even up to the home economy).
Now reflect on this:
Proverbs 31:10-31King James Version (KJV

Please Sir.........

.........How many 21st century generational women would want to settle down with a man who cannot raise a family?

.........How many Christian women/mothers would want to be pillars of a home when she has a man who is still hale and hearty?

.........Personally, would you want to settle down for marriage when you are not ready/fit for it?

You think I also don't read the bible or a christian woman/wife doesn't have her own problems? All she is supposed to do is shoulder the problems of her family? I am a REALIST, and I say things the way they are.. Times have changed.. The world keeps developing..

"A woman was created to be a helper, and not a depender".


N/B: No matter how good a lady/woman/wife or a man/husband might be, there is still a beast inside of her/him, that will only unleash when you turn on her/his bad side...

if its my brother that av dat kind of wife(God forbid)i wil advice im 2 divorce her 4 gud even my family wn't let her stay sef bcus dat one na evil o,,buh i guess u've done sumfin bad secretly dat only her knws abt it and dats y she's riding u,i just guess o,buh if nt so haaaa! d lady can kil,buh u should knw what to do..God wil lead you bro.

KLand:


Divorce is usually not the best option. Even the worst marriages can be salvaged.

Bro... First off, it is quite obvious she's seeing someone else.... There is nothing to be salvaged in that marriage... Especially with the family involved..

U caused it all Bro...i think its better u seek divorce b4 she kills u or cut off ur d?ck...she might be planning something against u...
I dont think she would ever change,as long as her people are behind her...

Friend,I will advise that you pray very well about this and follow your mind. "Leaping before looking" has caused a lot of issues in marriages these days and the truth is that devil is at work to ensure marriages collapse.His target is the women folks knowing that they are weaker vessels,some weak men too are being infiltrated.

I was in your shoes for four years but I never for once beat her nor did I share bills with her.Mine was a very abusive and one sided relationship.She would rain curses just like your case and the curses really affected me until I decided "never again" and I began to pray to counteract the curses with prayers.I moved out exactly 2 years and 2 weeks ago with just a back bag containing my certificates with some clothes when all efforts proved abortive.

I ensure my children don't lack anything financially and I visit them once in a while.I miss not seeing them daily though but I cherish my life.Devil is wise,he has seen a potential in you and probably has tried everything to no avail then decided to help you supervise the choice of woman to marry.What happens most times is that your wife may not even know what she is doing,maybe she is being controlled by a force,the force speaks through her and all sorts.She must have a feature which attracted the evil forces to her(likes attract likes).It could be anger,malice,jealousy etc.

Don't beat her again,you need to understand that we wrestle not against flesh and blood,try and sit her down and understand why she's bitter,involve your pastors if need be and go for deliverance together.Encourage her pray with you in the morning and night. If these don't work then use your head Bro.

ifyalways:


You knew her kind of person yet you went ahead and married her. I'm sure alot of people advised you against marrying her then but you ignored them. Dear, you've made your bed, relax and enjoy or endure it.

[size=15pt]I suggest you pray and fast, start with like 21 days fasting, report her to your pastor if the fasting thing does not work. Nothing impossible with God.[/size] Sorry dear

I seriously get disgusted seeing irrational, sentimental bigots like you.
This young man just explained his situation of which i'm certain you read all, yet you're here spewing rubbish outta your mouth, would you have adviced your own brother to continue in such marraige you religious bigot.
His life is at stake instead of proferring solution, you're here saying he's stuck in the marraige, so he just have to continue enduring it and being sad to his grave.

Quote me n thunder go fire your left yansh.
Nonesense!

sophieabou:
if its my brother that av dat kind of wife(God forbid)i wil advice im 2 divorce her 4 gud even my family wn't let her stay sef bcus dat one na evil o,,buh i guess u've done sumfin bad secretly dat only her knws abt it and dats y she's riding u,i just guess o,buh if nt so haaaa! d lady can kil,buh u should knw what to do..God wil lead you bro.

God bless you dear, you're more reasonable than the ifyalways of a girl, that babe provoked me with her write up, it made me go personal with her.
Anyways, keep it up!

Look at wot she said "if u are still regarding me as your wife, then u are wasting your time" i suggest u divorce

Rosarie:
first year of marriage has a lot of challenges but dose her words re deep cos as a wife na she suppose dey pray for y n again she hails from a stipud home but in all i blame u cos GOD will nvs ever lead u on a rong path.GOD DDID NOT GIVE A GO AHEAD N AM SURE U HAD PRE MARITAL SEX HE HATES SIN N WILL ALLOW U MAKE UR DESICIONS.MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSE TO B A BLISS

Na wa oo wot does pre marital sex ve to do with a violent and uncultured lady

Fuuk her very well before divorce let her live on with the memory of ur brutal manhood

Op r u sure you didnt do something to your wife

a woman cant just turn a devil overnite

did u cheat on her

or wrong her in anyway


pls dnt get me wrong ..even if u did cheat or wrong her no excuse for her behaviour

bt am just trying to explain how a wife can become this wicked something must ve happened along the way

Prayer and good decision is wat U̶̲̥̅̊ need. Ask God for guidance and dnt go into more fights with her. Take dis opportunity and join churches that are doing fasting and prayer dis month. Pls be careful dnt let her kill you before ur time. She will learn her lessons the hard way, even her family will not be able to save her.

Som women can be naturally evil same as men. But here he saw her bad side and still got married to her, dats the problem.

femikay149:
Op r u sure you didnt do something to your wife

a woman cant just turn a devil overnite

did u cheat on her

or wrong her in anyway


pls dnt get me wrong ..even if u did cheat or wrong her no excuse for her behaviour

bt am just trying to explain how a wife can become this wicked something must ve happened along the way

Take my advice, cut her loose, you will thank me later. Life is too short.

Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.


Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.

She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

You knew right from day one that she was this way!!!!!! You had had similar fights and quarrels right from the beginning but like the flies that followed the corpse to the grave, you went ahead and married her!!! And just a few months (that's what I refer your one year marriage to) into the union, you are asking people what you should do!




Anyway, going forward, I don't know what to say to you! That's the truth, because I remember that people told Titilayo (if I'm right about the name) to stay put with her hubby (who happens to be awaiting death by hanging @Kiri Kiri) when he was beating and injuring her 3yrs ago, and she sheepishy did. In the end, she paid with her life.

You walked into it with your eyes wide open, maybe you need to also walk out with your eyes wide open. Abusive marriage is not of God. And you are supposed to find A WIFE, not A WIFE AND HER MOTHER!

kikelomojessy:
Som women can be naturally evil same as men. But here he saw her bad side and still got married to her, dats the problem.

hmmm really naturally evil? coming from a lady me wot else can i say

Sleekyshuga:
Please Sir.........

.........How many 21st century generational women would want to settle down with a man who cannot raise a family?

.........How many Christian women/mothers would want to be pillars of a home when she has a man who is still hale and hearty?

.........Personally, would you want to settle down for marriage when you are not ready/fit for it?

You think I also don't read the bible or a christian woman/wife doesn't have her own problems? All she is supposed to do is shoulder the problems of her family? I am a REALIST, and I say things the way they are.. Times have changed.. The world keeps developing..

"A woman was created to be a helper, and not a depender".


N/B: No matter how good a lady/woman/wife or a man/husband might be, there is still a beast inside of her/him, that will only unleash when you turn on her/his bad side...

You aint no fuckin realist.
With this mentality of yours you'll definately make a living hell out of a man's life.
I just wonder which planet your type originate from.
This is why we bachelors of this age have to be very careful before selecting/choosing who to spend this rest of our lives with, cant imagine spending my life with a twisted minded, i'll just divorce you before you spell 'sparrow' i cant fit kill myself by myself. Lol!

joe4christ:


You aint no fuckin realist.
With this mentality of yours you'll definately make a living hell out of a man's life.
I just wonder which planet your type originate from.
This is why we bachelors of this age have to be very careful before selecting/choosing who to spend this rest of our lives with, cant imagine spending my life with a twisted minded, i'll just divorce you before you spell 'sparrow' i cant fit kill myself by myself. Lol!

Are you done blabbing? Clap for yourself!! You just made a heap of a beautiful nonsense..

I'm very choosy with my words on an e-forum, and @ such, I look before I leap but this time, you've decided to buy my case.

I can see pains and frustration written all over your words.. Sorry bro if the world choose to frustrate you.. It's never too late.. Why don't you drop the fun, and start thinking of how best to help your miserable life..

Marriage is no child's game, and was never meant for everyone... "If you aint ready for it, don't embark on one".. I see no reason why I should be dating/courting a woman beater, and still believes he'll change after marriage? The same goes to the OP, and his likes.. You date a lady who finds it @ will to insult you, call you names, and still, you walked her down the aisle, believing she'll change?

Knowing the kinda woman you are married to, you still let her do all the bills, and you think she'll let it go down the drain? Whatever happened to getting little loans from banks, friends, etc, and putting it into use?

I'll still repeat it again: A woman was meant to be a helper, and not a depender, and that was why God carved out Eve from Adam, and not Adam from Eve..

Mr Bachelor, the last I checked, I never told you I was in need of man or a shallow minded thinker like you..

Why don't you keep waiting for that woman who'll come sweep you off your feet!! LAZY MAN..