mutter:


Okay this is really OT
But quite honestly allot of people ask me how I do it and I just give them the same answer I will give you now-

One day at a time.

and not nine but eleven.

mutter:

Please assure him I am very much a woman, just that I like to be objective.

Well now that the story has unfolded some more it is clear I was not weighing heavily on the mens side.
Look how this woman keeps on and on even when her husband came on here, she goes on.
No shame, no regard for her husband or her kid`s. This is a disgrace.
Even in law there is room for provocation and if you make a man mad enough, he can get away with murder. So let us be kind to tell the woman the truth. She ought to apologize to the man..
I don`t blame the man coming out here to defend himself if he reads the one-sided flow of information here.
By the way OP why could you not hear the door bell at 9 in the night.

Why should anyone advise the man to hold the keys to his home. He can have one , yes. But as long as there are people at home, why should he use the key?
When a husband/ father comes home- the proper thing is for the wife to open the door and welcome him with a smile and a kiss , hug
How could she be sleeping when the man was out.
I always know when my husband is back even if I don`t hear his car. I just have the feeling that he is coming home, that is how it functions in a home.
But maybe she was busy finishing her call with one of her lovers that she did not hear the door.
It is a big question to me why the man would want the little girl to wait up for him? That is child abuse and this was also supported by the woman because it was her failure to do her duty that lead to this suggestion.
What a shame, a marriage with two kid`s and still basics are an issue.

mutter:

Please assure him I am very much a woman, just that I like to be objective.

Well now that the story has unfolded some more it is clear I was not weighing heavily on the mens side.
Look how this woman keeps on and on even when her husband came on here, she goes on.
No shame, no regard for her husband or her kid`s. This is a disgrace.
Even in law there is room for provocation and if you make a man mad enough, he can get away with murder. So let us be kind to tell the woman the truth. She ought to apologize to the man..
I don`t blame the man coming out here to defend himself if he reads the one-sided flow of information here.
By the way OP why could you not hear the door bell at 9 in the night.

Why should anyone advise the man to hold the keys to his home. He can have one , yes. But as long as there are people at home, why should he use the key?
When a husband/ father comes home- the proper thing is for the wife to open the door and welcome him with a smile and a kiss , hug
How could she be sleeping when the man was out.
I always know when my husband is back even if I don`t hear his car. I just have the feeling that he is coming home, that is how it functions in a home.
But maybe she was busy finishing her call with one of her lovers that she did not hear the door.
It is a big question to me why the man would want the little girl to wait up for him? That is child abuse and this was also supported by the woman because it was her failure to do her duty that lead to this suggestion.
What a shame, a marriage with two kid`s and still basics are an issue.

mutter:


Done a good research but let me correct you.
- not all my kid`s wanted to breast feed for 2 years, in fact I had two kid`s that rejected the breast completely after they got the first bottle. And with one baby I just did not have enough milk, and I tried everything.
- Secondly, please lt me know the date of the post when I had 9 kid`s , probably is quite old, because I am not yet in menopause

@ aisha I certainly am a very weak mum because I can`t sleep when my kid`s or husband are out. There are times when my boys come back very late, that I spend the whole night crying and praying that the come back safe. I am too worried to even be angry with them at that moment. I wish sometimes I was a super mum that could just go to bed and have a good night sleep. You need to imagine how it is when on a friday you are just worn out with the weeks work, the kid`s and their homework and you think you can just get a good nights sleep

dinachi:
When I questioned the womans story, a lot of funny untrained women here rained curses on me! Now Una see Una life? From my little experience I knew without being there that the woman was the real monster coming here to disparage a loving father who she has done everything humanly possible to destroy. My brother dump her Asap!

thinkingbee:
Aa

runnazz:


contact me for your cleaning jobs..we take the trash & kill the bugs

BluIvy:


Oh, just shutt it Already!!! Everything you said was a hot mass. Laying a hand on a woman is a big fat NO!

edwife:


Hmmm....

runnazz:


Yes madam,any bug/trash to dispose?

edwife:


What kind of bug do you dispose?and if you were advertising your business,why did you only quote the op?others are not welcomed?

fem29:


Hmm mutter my husband said he is sure ur a man posting as female, and he is a typical naija man.

Your comments always weigh heavily on the side of men, anything that happens you always make it the woman's fault

dinachi:

Will you restrain your putrid mouth....but I guess laying hand on a man is a big fat YES, Eeekwa?
What of laying her mouth on a man? I am very sure in your warped mind that is alright?
Abuse na Abuse! If you abuse a man with your mouth and he abuses you with his hands and legs, BOTH of you are EQUALLY guilty! So if the man is a monster for raising his hands on her, then she is also a monster for raising her voice against him. Everybody fights from their position of strength. Women get mouth, men get hand. Na so!

runnazz:


not like that...i felt she was in dire need of my services from the comments i read so...any kind of bug at all no matter how troublesome & everyone is welcome.Hope its clear enough for you.

dinachi:
Throw away pride go to your husband in humility, ask for forgiveness and just listen to him talk about his frustrations with you. Don't interrupt,just pay attention and you will learn a thing or two.

dinachi:
Everybody fights from their position of strength. Women get mouth, men get hand. Na so!

Ewuro4:


Please further clarify your idiom.... I no get.

soulglo:


She's not a man. She's a woman in an abusive relationship

red101:


And this is why the world sees us as barbaric. Are you a primitive animal? Do you realize that we are in the 21st century and there are other ways to show your strength without resorting to physical violence? That is actually a sign of weakness to most civilized people when you cannot control your barbaric urge to be violent.

red101:


And this is why the world sees us as barbaric. Are you a primitive animal? Do you realize that we are in the 21st century and there are other ways to show your strength without resorting to physical violence? That is actually a sign of weakness to most civilized people when you cannot control your barbaric urge to be violent.

dinachi:
Oh it is a generational thing? Buhahahahah Never knew the curse of rotten maggot infested puccy runs in your family from generation to generation. Is that why you sound so bitter all the time, always been the family scapegoat that picks maggots from your mama's rotten puccy? Now who picks yours? How did it degenerate to this level of now using your mouth to search for rotten maggot infested puccy to evacuate. Nne you STINK! You are the original stink mistress of Nairaland! . When you eventually locate your whereabouts in the midst of your fellow scums and dregs of society, then maybe then the full weight of your cursed lifestyle will descend on you...till then keep STINKING

mutter:


Maybe I am and maybe not.

It is a fact that most girls/women have experienced abuse at one time or the other in their lives in Nigeria. It could be from a husband, father, relation, siblings or ......
Girls that grow up with an abusive father also often marry abusive men.
Victims of abuse sometimes turn to abusers themselves.

It is comment like yours above that make most women keep abuse a secret and not disclose. Because obviously they get insulted for it.

Now I want you to clap for yourself for being so smart in your analysis about me!

BlackLeopard:


This. And violence isn't strength. Violence is power used when strengths fail.
Lotta people need to stop confusing dems.

soulglo:


You did not have to tell me anything. I simply deduced. What is more dangerous is you are likely in a situation that is difficult to live in but not steering women away from making the same choices. Instead you berate women in that situation or you try to convince them that these abusive men are not so bad. You are the dangerous one. I am happy I made that comment so that some of these women can go back and read your posts and then pretty much scratch off anything you have told them concerning their relationship. Every human being deserves a partner that loves and respects them but you on the other hand go out of your way to romanticize abuse in marriage. People like you make women stay in these horrible situations and when they get seriously injured or even killed, it is your type that will make comments like "I told her not to do this or that anymore", "she was very stubborn" etc. Don't expect any gentle words from me. You don't have to tell your business but you could be honest so other women can learn and not make your mistakes.

mutter:


Every woman indeed deserves a man that respects and loves her and vice versa.
I absolutely agree!
The rate at which women are encouraged to leave their husband here is alarming! It is also wrong. When someone comes on here with a thread I pay attention to the OP and not the other person. She is the one that is on the forum. So it is her my advise is given to. If the man were to come on here for advice I would tell him he acted like a brute by hitting his wife. So check yourself once more and ask yourself if it is right to spoil a marriage that is possibly more intact than yours will ever be.

In this case I can DEDUDE ( let me use the word for today) that the OP and her husband are a passionate and temperamental couple. The are possibly very close and very much in love.

As we are here writing Chapters, they are in each others arms.

As for your gentle words. Save them for another time!

soulglo:


She's not a man. She's a woman in an abusive relationship