thinkingbee:
@dinachi u deserve no words in return.

Thanks for all the great advice and contacts, I really appreciate it. I ve sort of found peace in letting go of revenge because vengeance is really not mine. I just wish there was a way to teach him a lesson so he never hurts any woman again.

I have given up soo much of myself for him. I gave everything which has never been enough.
The physical abuse have become countless, my family members live far away. No one for him to revere cos my father is late.

Am trying to get another apartment for me and the childrenn...financially I ll be fine.
This last time he came home as usual late, I was ill so I went to bed. No nanny but a small girl that I train looking after the kids while I go to work.
He knocked we couldn't hear because the generator was on, we finally opened, he stormed in with two cases started besting a 12 year old that watches ur kids all day and might be tired. I tried to protect her then he pounced on me again....cane, belt...blows to the head.... the memories it'd terrifying..

Thanks everyone, am better now.

So sorry about this, good you shed some light.
If you are in lagos go to the office of the public defender alausa. If you are in any other state google FIDA address in your state, they will help bring him to justice.
Btw a 12 year old should not be caring for your kids

F

thinkingbee:
To note, my nanny hasn't returned from her new year break. She goes to school but had to stay home under supervision with the children.
It was a temp arrangement.

Okay. Please get the help you need kids shouldn't grow up seeing violence

thinkingbee:
@dinachi u deserve no words in return.

Thanks for all the great advice and contacts, I really appreciate it. I ve sort of found peace in letting go of revenge because vengeance is really not mine. I just wish there was a way to teach him a lesson so he never hurts any woman again.

I have given up soo much of myself for him. I gave everything which has never been enough.
The physical abuse have become countless, my family members live far away. No one for him to revere cos my father is late.

Am trying to get another apartment for me and the childrenn...financially I ll be fine.
This last time he came home as usual late, I was ill so I went to bed. No nanny at this time because she s on break but a small girl that I train, looking after the kids when I go work in the mean time.
He knocked we couldn't hear because the generator was on, we finally opened, he stormed in with two canes and started beating a 12 year old that was helping watch d kids all day and might be tired. I tried to protect her then he pounced on me again....cane, belt...blows to the head.... the memories it'd terrifying..

Thanks everyone, am better now.

Perhaps you don't need any advice at all. I will never tolerate anybody coming here in the public to run down their supposed beloved spouse without at least showing clearly they are not at fault. I can only comment based on what you wrote.. If I got you clearly, you were not the original target for the pounding. How did the 'annointing' transfer from the girl in question to you? Did you confront your husband? Did you attack him in a bid to save your girl and put him on the defensive? Give a clearer picture and stop calling your husband names.

dinachi:
If I got you clearly, you were not the original target for the pounding. How did the 'annointing' transfer from the girl in question to you? Did you confront your husband? Did you attack him in a bid to save your girl and put him on the defensive? Give a clearer picture and stop calling your husband names.

Are you for real?
You sound like an expert 'pounder.' How many women have you sent to the hospital or grave?
God will remove that monsterousness from your heart and this woman's husband (hopefully soon to be ex-husband) heart.

thinkingbee:
I just wish there was a way to teach him a lesson so he never hurts any woman again.
Am trying to get another apartment for me and the childrenn...financially I ll be fine.

Kudos to you. Like I said earlier, if you know his place of work, you can set up a meeting with his boss or employer to give them details about his abusive ways. It will be even better if you had physical evidence (scars, pictures etc) A bad recommendation like that can often be enough grounds to fire or sack him. He will quickly realize that his actions come with consequences.

dinachi:
Perhaps you don't need any advice at all. I will never tolerate anybody coming here in the public to run down their supposed beloved spouse without at least showing clearly they are not at fault. I can only comment based on what you wrote.. If I got you clearly, you were not the original target for the pounding. How did the 'annointing' transfer from the girl in question to you? Did you confront your husband? Did you attack him in a bid to save your girl and put him on the defensive? Give a clearer picture and stop calling your husband names.

Can you shut up already!
Yes I said it loud and clear
Shut the hell up
You mustn't respond ,must you?
Zip it if you have nothing intelligent to contribute
Sheesh
Sounds like the OP just described you
Why else would you drink conc acid over this matter
The OP just described a violent out of control monster and you are here asking foolish questions
What exactly are you expecting her to say in order to satisfy you and your asinine conclusions

Busybody2 nne please go to DJ's thread and see the latest from a nairalander who says she is his neighbor

thinkingbee:
Am a victim of physical abuse, I now want him to pay for all his actions. What organization will fight my cause? Am so hurt I can't put down in words, I want him to feel the pain of oppression.

I have read all your comments so far

Does your husband have a problem with alcohol or drugs?

Babymama1:
Busybody2 nne please go to DJ's thread and see the latest from a nairalander who says she is his neighbor

Omg

dinachi:
If your husband is a monster, then you are also a monster! I totally abhor it when you female monsters cause problems in your homes and come here to blab. Tell us your own faults and the evil you perpetrated before you come here to disparage a great gentleman like your husband. Witches like you have been attacking their husbands at will and generally causing mayhem, when the man in a bid to save himself deals you a handsome blow to reset your brain, you come here to spew thrash.. Wet dat your husband sef, let me give him a high five! He deserves a God bless you pat in the back!

dinachi:
Perhaps you don't need any advice at all. I will never tolerate anybody coming here in the public to run down their supposed beloved spouse without at least showing clearly they are not at fault. I can only comment based on what you wrote.. If I got you clearly, you were not the original target for the pounding. How did the 'annointing' transfer from the girl in question to you? Did you confront your husband? Did you attack him in a bid to save your girl and put him on the defensive? Give a clearer picture and stop calling your husband names.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! You repulse me... I pity the unfortunate woman who will end up with you. *spits in disgust* Tufiakwa!!!

Babymama1:
Busybody2 nne please go to DJ's thread and see the latest from a nairalander who says she is his neighbor

isalegan2:



Baddest chick! Whazzsharpening? Is Busybody starting trouble in a charitable thread as usual? And BabyOsisi came back for 2nd round, I see.

BTW, can you 'doctors' indicate whether your names end with an M.D.? Much obliged. Can all the specialists and advisers yelling fire do the same. Many thanks!


Ah! Salam, DJDola. Praying (and gisting) as my old frenemy Badosky used to say.

Masha Allah.

Babymama1, I left that DJ thread because of what this odious, vile, thicko, pond scum called Isale$*?@:# said on DJ's thread. What she is referring to happened over 2 years ago on a charity thread, the only ONE post I made to Perx stated she was not a suitable candidate for surgery because she has Fibromyalgia that no reputable hospital would operate on her, etc...people jumped on me telling me to shut up, get out of the thread, etc...never mind the fact that Perx's response to me included "thanks busybody"...PERX DIED...people now later came to post that I should have been allowed to talk...(see below)


Now I try to talk about the hospital in DJ's case but got antagonised and was told to shut up by same oam4j people who said I should have been allowed to talk in Perx' case...I don't understand human beings anymore and would have given up on them if not for God...





March 7th 2012 -

oam4j:
Thank you CC, debrief and others who advocated for peace. And am also happy with all of you that embraced peace.

Moving forward, I think there is one or 2 lessons we all can learn from what happened with the benefit of hindsight.

I know a lot of people see jk and bb as fighters/troublemakers, but underneath those "i will say it as I see it, raw and undiluted without giving a damm how anyone feels" lies some hard truth and realities. Looking back I wish many people saw beyond other things and embrace the intelligent advices bb gave. I remember many times the consultant we got from Lagoon Hospital said she should not rush for surgery until we get to the root cause of her problem. (Which was the same thing bb was saying all along).

To our surprise, a day to the day the consultant was scheduled to meet perx after series of email exchanges through us between perx and the consultant, she admitted herself to UBTH, and the doctor that refused to operate her but recommended her for treatment abroad for more than 2yrs suddenly wanted to operate her in a hurry. She told us the same time she posted it on NL and the surprise was part of the reason we were slow in answering some of the questions on the thread over that decision. In between her exchanges with us I could sense some people were unprofessionally advising her against waiting for the consultant: They thought we were trying to waste money. Then I wish there were many bb to tell her to go back home.

TeHN had no choice than to support her and pray for her, cos if we did otherwise, many of her advisers will see us as playing God with her life even though we were walking on a professional advice and some common senses.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not blaming perx; far from it, anyone in her pain and condition will want to have a solution as quick as possible, including me. But I wish perx had many bb as her advisers, just maybe she might still be alive today.

It is painful for us in TeHN beyond what many of you will understand. Tears rushed out of my eyes, when I read the comment of the consultant we got her, after he was told she passed on, he said "You guys allowed her to walk into her death". To him like bb also said, she shouldn't have been operated, just yet. So as her advisers, I think many of us might have failed her for not telling her enough truth.



Note: jk= jennykadry, bb=busybody and my post is not on behalf of TeHN.

Busybody2:







Babymama1, I left that DJ thread because of what this odious, vile, thicko, pond scum called Isale$*?@:# said on DJ's thread. What she is referring to happened over 2 years ago on a charity thread, the only ONE post I made to Perx stated she was not a suitable candidate for surgery because she has Fibromyalgia that no reputable hospital would operate on her, etc...people jumped on me telling me to shut up, get out of the thread, etc...never mind the fact that Perx's response to me included "thanks busybody"...PERX DIED...people now later came to post that I should have been allowed to talk...(see below)


Now I try to talk about the hospital in DJ's case but got antagonised and was told to shut up by same oam4j people who said I should have been allowed to talk in Perx' case...I don't understand human beings anymore and would have given up on them if not for God...

I spent time reading bits and pieces of that DJ thread and how people came down on you and I
I didn't follow the perx case,I just saw mentions of it
That other hood rat on this recent thread said similar things to me as you were told,even making insinuations that I was using google to write
What an insult
Sad that they talked about doing things differently only to turn around to repeat the same mistake,attacking people who mean well and now they are unable to talk

Babymama1:


I spent time reading bits and pieces of that DJ thread and how people came down on you and I
I didn't follow the perx case,I just saw mentions of it
That other hood rat on this recent thread said similar things to me as you were told,even making insinuations that I was using google to write
What an insult
Sad that they talked about doing things differently only to turn around to repeat the same mistake,attacking people who mean well and now they are unable to talk

I saw the unwarranted attacks on your person by that uncouth ingrate yet when they needed you they pretended to be professionals, yet u-turned on you in full glare of the public the moment they saw you come to support just one of my posts. Who does that!!!

And my post only focused solely on the hospital's antics with this high risk patient, yet they kept selfishly turning attention to themselves that it is them I am talking about What's the connection of the hospital to Tehn Afterall Tehn does not own the hospital

Gosh, the mind boggles!!! Anyway God dey...

Busybody2:


I saw the unwarranted attacks on your personal by that uncouth ingrate. When they needed you they pretended to be professionals, yet u-turned on you the moment they saw you come to support just one of my posts. Who does that!!!

And my post only focused solely on the hospital's antics with this high risk patient, yet they kept selfishly turning attention to themselves that it is them I am talking about What's the connection of the hospital to Tehn Does Tehn own the hospital

Gosh, the mind boggles!!!

There is now an update finally stage 4 cancer
You see am

Babymama1:


There is now an update finally stage 4 cancer
You see am

Something LUTH Doctor detected since October in the two weeks DJ spent there...and with around N100,000k...
hmmm....Jesus take the wheel biko...

God over to you...

Hmmmm

IyawoToBe:





Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! You repulse me... I pity the unfortunate woman who will end up with you. *spits in disgust* Tufiakwa!!!

I follow you vomit sef.tufiaaa

This boy carrying his mommy issues up and down nairaland.
o Jesu

---

OP it is well with you. Since you can get out and be fine with your kids especially financially, thank God for that special favor.
The greatest blessing anyone in abusive marriage can get is freedom from that Union.

Calm down first , don't supress your initial sorrow because you may feel the loss even though he was horrible to you.
Then begin your healing process.

All you should be doing is thanksgiving that you're a survivor. You're only one among the few who manage to get away from such things.
His comeuppance will come but not from you.
When it is possible for you to think about that Union without pain, find it in your heart to forgive him for your own sake and to make your healing faster.
I know . Easier said than done but you gotta try.

dinachi:
Perhaps you don't need any advice at all. I will never tolerate anybody coming here in the public to run down their supposed beloved spouse without at least showing clearly they are not at fault. I can only comment based on what you wrote.. If I got you clearly, you were not the original target for the pounding. How did the 'annointing' transfer from the girl in question to you? Did you confront your husband? Did you attack him in a bid to save your girl and put him on the defensive? Give a clearer picture and stop calling your husband names.

Initially, I decided to read the comments to know what people would say about this age old practice of savage cavemen practicing fisticuffs on their wives without adding mine...and then I read your comment I can only describe as pathetic and balderdash.

The op, she gave a clear specific example of battering she and a little child experienced in the hands of a so-called husband among so many others she cannot now tell but all you can contribute are senseless questions aimed at ascertaining the extent of her fault to have merited such inhuman treatment. Gosh! What about the 12 year old. What did a little girl of that age do to deserve such callous manhandling or brutal physical abuse? Obviously you ignored that. No, you wanted a CLEARER picture hoping to pin the fault of a man's violent tendencies on his wife, that is, to justify his actions.

You may even be worse than that man...may God help you and whoever is dumb enough to be called your spouse.

Busybody2:


Something LUTH Doctor detected since October in the two weeks DJ spent there...and with around N100,000k...
hmmm....Jesus take the wheel biko...

God over to you...

So you guys have been planning surgery for someone already diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?

IyawoToBe:





Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! You repulse me... I pity the unfortunate woman who will end up with you. *spits in disgust* Tufiakwa!!!

I did not read your comment but it is obvious to any reader that guy is just another faceless wife beater, molester, abuser trying to protect his brother of the same evil blood by justifying his brother's action of physically abusing his wife.

I can never lay a finger on any girl no matter. I have sisters and cousins who have pushed me to the limits many times...but I take pride in the fact that I never let my anger control my actions. I believe any man who lays a finger on a woman is less than a man. If it becomes a habit, then he is a beast.

So what is the great justicication for punching and slapping and beating a woman?

dinachi:
If your husband is a monster, then you are also a monster! I totally abhor it when you female monsters cause problems in your homes and come here to blab. Tell us your own faults and the evil you perpetrated before you come here to disparage a great gentleman like your husband. Witches like you have been attacking their husbands at will and generally causing mayhem, when the man in a bid to save himself deals you a handsome blow to reset your brain, you come here to spew thrash.. Wet dat your husband sef, let me give him a high five! He deserves a God bless you pat in the back!

The only thrash I see here is the one you are spewing.

aisha2:


So sorry about this, good you shed some light.
If you are in lagos go to the office of the public defender alausa. If you are in any other state google FIDA address in your state, they will help bring him to justice.
Btw a 12 year old should not be caring for your kids

How old should the person be to care for the kids? Am asking because most times people say things like this and I wonder if they live in the same economy we do or they are being idealistic. Its just to watch over them that's all.


Op, sorry oh. Don't you have brothers or uncles you can report to? Men with muscle?

5minsmadness:

How old should the person be to care for the kids? Am asking because most times people say things like this and I wonder if they live in the same economy we do or they are being idealistic. Its just to watch over them that's all.


Op, sorry oh. Don't you have brothers or uncles you can report to? Men with muscle?

The law says 18. A child at that age should be allowed the freedom to develop into her own person. A child can be given minor roles eg wash plates, sweep but child care even for me and adult is a lot, babies and kids can be frustrating it takes so much self control to stay calm with not just one but two babies, one is crying one wants to poo or poos on himself, even as an adult it gets too much.

The economy is bad yes but stealing isn't permitted, same way as bad as the economy is we can find better options after all there are so many adults out of work.
Like the poster said she has a nanny and the child is not actually the nanny.

We can do the pro and against argument on child minders in another space, this is for a different purpose

Babymama1:
Busybody2 nne please go to DJ's thread and see the latest from a nairalander who says she is his neighbor

Why why why? Now I will spend the whole day in tears. This is sad, thugs were there abusing and shouting people down, then silence then this. Hmmmmmm

thinkingbee:
@dinachi u deserve no words in return.

Thanks for all the great advice and contacts, I really appreciate it. I ve sort of found peace in letting go of revenge because vengeance is really not mine. I just wish there was a way to teach him a lesson so he never hurts any woman again.

I have given up soo much of myself for him. I gave everything which has never been enough.
The physical abuse have become countless, my family members live far away. No one for him to revere cos my father is late.

Am trying to get another apartment for me and the childrenn...financially I ll be fine.
This last time he came home as usual late, I was ill so I went to bed. No nanny at this time because she s on break but a small girl that I train, looking after the kids when I go work in the mean time.
He knocked we couldn't hear because the generator was on, we finally opened, he stormed in with two canes and started beating a 12 year old that was helping watch d kids all day and might be tired. I tried to protect her then he pounced on me again....cane, belt...blows to the head.... the memories it'd terrifying..

Thanks everyone, am better now.

I am happy to hear that you will be fine financially, that gives you the opportunity to free yourself and also your children.

My best wishes to you and God bless you.

Coldplay007:


So you guys have been planning surgery for someone already diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?

Huh, pardon

All I have been saying since day one (Nov 12th) is that Luth result that was uploaded confirmed he has Malignant ascites...and all we are still discussing is diagnosis, not treatment...so I don't understand your post at all!!

aisha2:


Why why why? Now I will spend the whole day in tears. This is sad, thugs were there abusing and shouting people down, then silence then this. Hmmmmmm

A truckload of (((hugs))) to you Aisha2 and Babyosisi/Babymama...please console yourselves with the fact that DJ's life, like everyone else is in God's hands...


@Colosus2, your type is rare...you give people hope, you will go very far in life...

striktlymi:


The only thrash I see here is the one you are spewing.

Don't be silly! This is a woman who remorselessly turned a mere 12 years old girl child to a house help. Is that not child labor and abuse? And yet she had the guts to come here and accuse the husband of being a monster.@Op you never talk true! Come what evil have you been perpetrating to turn your household to a war front?

dinachi:
Perhaps you don't need any advice at all. I will never tolerate anybody coming here in the public to run down their supposed beloved spouse without at least showing clearly they are not at fault. I can only comment based on what you wrote.. If I got you clearly, you were not the original target for the pounding. How did the 'annointing' transfer from the girl in question to you? Did you confront your husband? Did you attack him in a bid to save your girl and put him on the defensive? Give a clearer picture and stop calling your husband names.

This ur misogynistic outlook on life is not needed all the time. U shld know when it's necessary. Do u know the op and the husband? Do u live in their house? Did she say this is the first time? If u need more clarification, ask the Op. Or are the husband in question? You sure need help.

torchwave:
I did not read your comment but it is obvious to any reader that guy is just another faceless wife beater, molester, abuser trying to protect his brother of the same evil blood by justifying his brother's action of physically abusing his wife.

I can never lay a finger on any girl no matter. I have sisters and cousins who have pushed me to the limits many times...but I take pride in the fact that I never let my anger control my actions. I believe any man who lays a finger on a woman is less than a man. If it becomes a habit, then he is a beast.

So what is the great justicication for punching and slapping and beating a woman?

Shut it! You should be embarrassed already. So you encouraged Op subjecting a minor to child labor and abuse? I do hope you are not the type that enjoys inflicting pain on children, because that is the height of wickedness. Her story doesn't make any sense and I have asked her to clarify some points to no avail. Did she attack the husband physically to warrant him transferring the cane from the poor girl to her?

@Op is your husband on drugs or alcohol? It is very difficult to fathom a husband going physical on his beloved wife except in self defense and vice versa. So give a clearer picture. What is your role in all this mess?

red101:


Are you for real?
You sound like an expert 'pounder.' How many women have you sent to the hospital or grave?
God will remove that monsterousness from your heart and this woman's husband (hopefully soon to be ex-husband) heart.



Kudos to you. Like I said earlier, if you know his place of work, you can set up a meeting with his boss or employer to give them details about his abusive ways. It will be even better if you had physical evidence (scars, pictures etc) A bad recommendation like that can often be enough grounds to fire or sack him. He will quickly realize that his actions come with consequences.

Hello! How you dey? Expert pounder? Yes I am! I love to pound yam