It is a curse on a man dat doesn,t take care of the family bible confirmed that,so whether the woman has money or not, man need to the his own responsiblity.

It's easy to call people names...irresponsible husband,etc,etc. But let's look @ things closely,it takes two to tango.

Who says the man should bear all the financial burden of the household? The answer is simple, "Society". But a man is married to HIS wife and a woman is married to HER husband,none of them is married to society,and so society shouldn't determine the expectations they place on each other. In every home,I believe it behoves on d couple to deliberate and agree on how they spend their monies,who foots which bills, and so on. Because this societal expectation thing can be really tricky.

I'm not old,but in my little years alive,I've realized that for every notion society has,there's usually a counter-notion,also by another segment of society. Most societal notions can be grouped under "old-school" and "present day". The notion that d husband is d sole provider falls under d "old-school". The same "old-school" prescribes that women are HOUSEWIVES. So it's just logical that d man makes ALL the provision. On d other other hand,the societal notion that suggest that women take on full time jobs is western and "present day". Under the same notion,men ARE NOT the sole providers(u can ask Nigerians in diaspora if in doubt). I mention diaspora b'cos I earlier stated that this notion is western.

Imagine I had a job where I'm entitled to snack,lunch and pre-supper,but the nature of the job doesn't allow me time to settle down and eat,so I usually bring all meals back home. I eat them @ home and still insist my wife COOKS for me,simply b'cos that's what the society demands. For God's sake,if I have something to eat,my wife should be @ liberty to stay off the kitchen(except to cook for the kids). She can even come to join me in my meal. Does that now make her a LAZY and IRRESPONSIBLE wife? She sees it as her duty to cook for me,but a meal has been provided through another means,for God's sake she should get a break. I think it's just fair that dsame analogy be extended to the this thread.

One problem most families have is that the parties involved play between "old school" and "present day" options, only selecting the items that suit them as individuals,not minding it's effect on the home. Every home has to decide which of the two categories of notions to live by. If a hybrid is to be adopted,the exact items from either classifications have to be JOINTLY agreed upon and ADHERED to,if peace and harmony must reign.

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mytime24:
dis's a real mAn talkin

talk is cheap

Jackeeh:
You cousin is lucky. I watched my mum cry severally cos of the embarrassment she received from my dad. I watched how my dad would cross certain things off the market list to reduce the little amount needed for feeding. It got so bad that I'd go to my dad's superstore to steal cash just so my mum could have some money in her purse( that I'm not proud of). She was just a secondary school teacher then. My dad has never bought anything for my mum. She worked hard, got promoted , became an academic supervisor etc. Fast forward to 2014: she retired n received her gratuity. Meanwhile dad who was a rich banker then, lost his job n was duped in a business deal he ventured into. Now mum is the one in charge. No more tears. She now runs the show. The jeep she bought, dad drives it. Everywhere they go, mum tells whoever cares tho listen that dad bought the car n not her. She has begun her building project n will soon become a landlady. She doesn't hesitate to give whenever dad needs cash. She has forgotten how it was. She has forgotten how this same man who is greatly benefitting from her now, used to abuse her n call her lazy n a liability. Lol. Now who's the liability? She doesn't hide her money from her "beloved'' husband. I get mad at times n wished she would retaliate. But my mum would have none of that. She now has more thasn enough wrappers n jewellries. No more tears. Hmmmmmmmmm I believe that's how marriage should be. So pls advise your cousin to do what she can. She's even blessed with money n can comfortably provide for herself n kids. If need be,let her do same for her husband. Things will change for the best someday. And of course, now that mum has some money, dad is not even contributing a dime anymore. Lol. Mum still believes he will change some day. But as we wait for that day to come, mum is smoothly running the home n everyone is happy.

God bless your mum real good

What a Pathetic thread!. Nevertheless i saw someone's quote, Veave is it ? Saying marriage no be by force, one who didn't know hw her parents got d money to raise her can't try dat, she ll go back, bla bla,,,. U ll only end up going back to ur parents and this time, u go tay 4 there well well. See who misses u.

Its frustrating when a woman handles most of d financial issues in d family.most atimes,I feel like running away with my kids.
But I keep telling myself,this is why God has blessed me with a job.this alone has kept me going.I keep praying for a better job.so dat I can do all without grudges.

Nicklaus:
What a Pathetic thread!. Nevertheless i saw someone's quote, Veave is it ? Saying marriage no be by force, one who didn't know hw her parents got d money to raise her can't try dat, she ll go back, bla bla,,,. U ll only end up going back to ur parents and this time, u go tay 4 there well well. See who misses u.

if I refuse to go back to my parents house, come and chase me out.

Mtchwwww

This topic couldn't hv come at a more appropriate time.

Just yesterday, got into a heated discussion with a friend. On this same issue.

The men would leave all responsibilities for their wives to handle. And when the wife says anything, they tend to take it the wrong way.
Whether or not the wife earns more, the man should be able to take care of his home. Then, the woman would do all other stuff without complaints.

But expecting her to do evrytin? Just wait, your respect will be found in d dustbin.

Infact, I have no respect for any man who will not take care of his home. He shld hv remained a bachelor. The bible says such a man is worse than an infidel.

Wht worsens d situation is that this issues are more prevalent among so-called christians.

lilmax:
I am the head,i cannot push my responsibilities to my wife no matter what

good guy

veave:



if I refuse to go back to my parents house, come and chase me out.

Mtchwwww

Now you are talking. You ll never bear ur children go hungry. So therez no escaping part of your husband's responsibility. It's all the same and stop being bi{e}tch

Pls help me ask the men o! The day my husband took my ATM without my consent,he checked my account balance and came home and dangled my atm in my face and shouted "aye o",that was the end of extra money for me,just house-keeping money alone,no more extras.

Women just have to be very intelligent when it comes to this.
Men comes in different shades so you must learn how yo adjust to those shades.

I observed my mum and dad. She earned more than my dad but once it comes to bills she insists on 70/30
Even when she has the money she will tell my father she can only afford the 30% while she borrows the rest from her office cooperative. That way, dad will definitely bring the 70%.

Dad will say shes stingy but I know what she was trying to avoid. Dad is too generous, even at the expense of his immediate family. If you leave idle cash wiyh him OyO will be ypur case.

Now dad is retired and she bears the full burden without complaining. Sometimes I ask him where yhat stingy wife he married before went

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[qujoooor. author=Nicklaus post=31036413]Now you are talking. You ll never bear ur children go hungry. So therez no escaping part of your husband's responsibility. It's all the same and stop being bi{e}tch [/quote]



My husband in the first place wil not behave irresponsibly. That's why I am shinning my tourch...
if you like go and look for a girl that will pick your bills for you. House boy go better pass you.


Come back later and be crying on nairaland... we benovelent nairalanders will be here to give you moral support as usual...

BeauHomme:
It's easy to call people names...irresponsible husband,etc,etc. But let's look @ things closely,it takes two to tango.

Who says the man should bear all the financial burden of the household? The answer is simple, "Society". But a man is married to HIS wife and a woman is married to HER husband,none of them is married to society,and so society shouldn't determine the expectations they place on each other. In every home,I believe it behoves on d couple to deliberate and agree on how they spend their monies,who foots which bills, and so on. Because this societal expectation thing can be really tricky.

I'm not old,but in my little years alive,I've realized that for every notion society has,there's usually a counter-notion,also by another segment of society. Most societal notions can be grouped under "old-school" and "present day". The notion that d husband is d sole provider falls under d "old-school". The same "old-school" prescribes that women are HOUSEWIVES. So it's just logical that d man makes ALL the provision. On d other other hand,the societal notion that suggest that women take on full time jobs is western and "present day". Under the same notion,men ARE NOT the sole providers(u can ask Nigerians in diaspora if in doubt). I mention diaspora b'cos I earlier stated that this notion is western.

Imagine I had a job where I'm entitled to snack,lunch and pre-supper,but the nature of the job doesn't allow me time to settle down and eat,so I usually bring all meals back home. I eat them @ home and still insist my wife COOKS for me,simply b'cos that's what the society demands. For God's sake,if I have something to eat,my wife should be @ liberty to stay off the kitchen(except to cook for the kids). She can even come to join me in my meal. Does that now make her a LAZY and IRRESPONSIBLE wife? She sees it as her duty to cook for me,but a meal has been provided through another means,for God's sake she should get a break. I think it's just fair that dsame analogy be extended to the this thread.

One problem most families have is that the parties involved play between "old school" and "present day" options, only selecting the items that suit them as individuals,not minding it's effect on the home. Every home has to decide which of the two categories of notions to live by. If a hybrid is to be adopted,the exact items from either classifications have to be JOINTLY agreed upon and ADHERED to,if peace and harmony must reign.

Nice input

Like you rightly said, individuals choose what part of the old/new school suits them

Old School: Husband provides all the needs, wifey is responsible for all the house keeping
New School: Husband and wife provides needs and are both responsible for housekeeping

The situation whether either party wants a school's benefits without the responsibilities brings about rancor except the other party is fine with it. That's why my first post on this thread asked if the men in question did chores...

I am sure if they both decided to handle chores and finance, this discussion will not come up.

bukatyne:


Ability to give back or the ability to forgive?

What is given back

Yeah.., you said it all. Give back, forgive etc.. These are qualities that make up a genuine family circle.

veave:
[qujoooor. author=Nicklaus post=31036413]Now you are talking. You ll never bear ur children go hungry. So therez no escaping part of your husband's responsibility. It's all the same and stop being bi{e}tch



My husband in the first place wil not behave irresponsibly. That's why I am shinning my tourch...
if you like go and look for a girl that will pick your bills for you. House boy go better pass you.


Come back later and be crying on nairaland... we benovelent nairalanders will be here to give you moral support as usual...

hahaha, Even this type wants a responsible husband, m not surprise. Whores have dreams too. for the record I already got one, and trust me she does it well. Anything else tramp ?

chibic:
hehehe..na your husband dey your profile?

ITS HER DREAM HUSBAND JARE. MARRIED WOMEN WITH FANTASY

nairaman66:


Yeah.., you said it all. Give back, forgive etc.. These are qualities that make up a genuine family circle.

Nice at bolded

And most importantly, it should go both ways

It is not a woman's thingy

She even bothered to sync mu quote, tired or sth ? I thot u benevolent nairalanders aren't scared to be dared. Coward of a Veave! I was just passing by tho.

She even bothered to sync my quote, tired or sth ? I thot u benevolent nairalanders aren't scared to be dared. Coward of a Veave! I was just passing by tho.

bukatyne:


Nice at bolded

And most importantly, it should go both ways

It is not a woman's thingy

I terribly agree with you dear!

Nicklaus:
hahaha, Even this type wants a responsible husband, m not surprise. Whores have dreams too. for the record I already got one, and trust me she does it well. Anything else tramp ?

Hahahahahaha... I learnt my trampy and bitchy attitude from your wife.
I see madam has tightened the purse strings today. Thats why you came on nairaland to bark like a dog...
puppy puppy.... have you finished washing madams' pant?





I have your time adamu.

Bring it on

Bcause anyone can now take care of the bills

veave:




Hahahahahaha... I learnt my trampy and bitchy attitude from your wife.
I see madam has tightened the purse strings today. Thats why you came on nairaland to bark like a dog...
puppy puppy.... have you finished washing madams' pant?





I have your time adamu.

Bring it on

woo, runaway is back. Yet another reminder of how full nairaland is with fish-mums.. I didn't know you come on NL when ur husband has tightened his purse string, but did u have to tell us Well I happened to have met the likes of you, so get in line miss cretin.

Nicklaus:
woo, runaway is back. Yet another reminder of how full nairaland is with fish-mums.. I didn't know you come on NL when ur husband has tightened his purse string, but did u have to tell us Well I happened to have met the likes of you, so get in line miss cretin.

nice meeting you okon.

veave:





nice meeting you okon.

laffing or shouting Isn't she cute and short of words?

/
1+1=1

My wife is only managing our responsibilities with our money.
If my money is our money, then her money is our money.
\

Nicklaus:
laffing or shouting Isn't she cute and short of words?

veave:

missjenna:
This is a very serious issue.
I experienced similar when I was growing up. My dad was a business man while my mum was a graduate without a job. My dad was very hardworking and he would always leave the house early in the morning and come back home at late evenings all in the bid to cater for his family

I noticed that as soon as my mum got a job, he kind of became lazy. He wasn't going to work early as before and he began taking unnecessary breaks from work.
This led to problems in both his business and marriage.

I just used this story to express my thoughts. Husbands, when they see that their wives have a source of income tend to feel that a burden has been lifted off their shoulders and they kind of relax, which isn't supposed to be so

Definitely the wife should take on some of the financial responsibilities, after all marriage is a kind partnership relationship. But this shouldn't mean that the husband should use this as an avenue to prey on the wife

In my own opinion, I think the financial responsibilities should be shared based on the income strength of both husband and wife.

Thanks

you sound ungrateful, give your dad a break he tried for you.