.

Herzumpther:
Lol. Oya sorry e don do.


But na wa o.

Okay, I don hear. I no binu again.

Sometimes I blame the woman. No matter how rich she is, do not show it. Men love to be in charge and when you make them feel you can be in charge too, they "take a seat and watch". My dad did same too, my friends had same story to tell so I didn't let that happen to me. Till date, my hubby doesn't know how much I earn. He pays the rent,kids fees, repairs the cars, gives me food allowance and all I do is "support" eg. I go the market with the money given to me and if I see anything else we might need at home, I use my money without even letting him know. If I see lovely toys or clothes for the kids, I buy them with my money. He tried to complain once, but I told him it's a taboo in my place for a woman to feed her family and take up a man's responsibilities . So he got used to it except of course, if he doesn't have a job( God forbid!) and I will definitely take over from where he stopped . Quote author=CrazyMan post=30997557]A very good morning to you all, and I'm guessing you all had a great weekend.

I was with a female cousin of mine yesterday (married) and she was lamenting to me how her has husband has annoyingly stopped giving her money for the upkeep of the family.

She said she now has to hide her money from him most times cos whenever he discovers she has any, he distances himself from any form of financial responsibilities that concerns the family.

The reason when I inquired started fully when she handed over a cheque from her personal account to the caretaker in regards to their rent.

She said she and her husband had a discussion the night before, and he promised her that she would be reimbursed if she settles the rent, but changed suddenly when she paid the money.

Now that I've paid the rent, he doesn't drop a penny in the house she told me. She's the one practically shouldering all the financial responsibilities. Ranging from their kids expenses to kitchen expenses to house expenses which include NEPA bills, purchase of water for their geepee tank...etc.

According to her, she only has a rough idea of what her husband earns and very little idea of what he spends it on.

I know some men are irresponsible but this case supersedes irresponsibility. I prefer to tag the man an over grown baby. Someone who has refused to mature.

As a man I believe its your responsibility to provide for your family regardless of the kind of job your wife does. You wife is there for support and not for you to abandon your responsibilities for. Every man should always bear that in mind.

What do you guys thing?[/quote]

Sometimes I blame the woman. No matter how rich she is, do not show it. Men love to be in charge and when you make them feel you can be in charge too, they "take a seat and watch". My dad did same too, my friends had same story to tell so I didn't let that happen to me. Till date, my hubby doesn't know how much I earn. He pays the rent,kids fees, repairs the cars, gives me food allowance and all I do is "support" eg. I go to the market with the money given to me and if I see anything else we might need at home, I use my money without even letting him know. If I see lovely toys or clothes for the kids, I buy them with my money. He tried to complain once, but I told him it's a taboo in my place for a woman to feed her family and take up a man's responsibilities . So he got used to it except of course, if he doesn't have a job( God forbid!) and I will definitely take over from where he stopped . Quote author=CrazyMan post=30997557]A very good morning to you all, and I'm guessing you all had a great weekend.

I was with a female cousin of mine yesterday (married) and she was lamenting to me how her has husband has annoyingly stopped giving her money for the upkeep of the family.

She said she now has to hide her money from him most times cos whenever he discovers she has any, he distances himself from any form of financial responsibilities that concerns the family.

The reason when I inquired started fully when she handed over a cheque from her personal account to the caretaker in regards to their rent.

She said she and her husband had a discussion the night before, and he promised her that she would be reimbursed if she settles the rent, but changed suddenly when she paid the money.

Now that I've paid the rent, he doesn't drop a penny in the house she told me. She's the one practically shouldering all the financial responsibilities. Ranging from their kids expenses to kitchen expenses to house expenses which include NEPA bills, purchase of water for their geepee tank...etc.

According to her, she only has a rough idea of what her husband earns and very little idea of what he spends it on.

I know some men are irresponsible but this case supersedes irresponsibility. I prefer to tag the man an over grown baby. Someone who has refused to mature.

As a man I believe its your responsibility to provide for your family regardless of the kind of job your wife does. You wife is there for support and not for you to abandon your responsibilities for. Every man should always bear that in mind.

What do you guys thing?[/quote]

a woman of virtue is a gift from God himself, i only began to understand that bible saying as i grew up into a man. women are so selfish and greedy that they dont want to sacrifice anything to their own home,husband,kids and future, everything should be done by the man,because the man is the head and therefore the only owner of the family,but the wedding rule says 1+1 is 1.see men to find a good woman is like finding a needle in the ocean depths. the fact is that most men would live through their lifetime searching, hoping to find it with all their resources, but wont find, till they die, without even setting an eye on a a virtous woman, talkless of having her...women are just a beautiful dissapointment to their creator and an unsolvable puzzle to men...

I Don't think so

Vyolet:
Men these days leave responsibility to their wives

Jackeeh:
You cousin is lucky. I watched my mum cry severally cos of the embarrassment she received from my dad. I watched how my dad would cross certain things off the market list to reduce the little amount needed for feeding. It got so bad that I'd go to my dad's superstore to steal cash just so my mum could have some money in her purse( that I'm not proud of). She was just a secondary school teacher then. My dad has never bought anything for my mum. She worked hard, got promoted , became an academic supervisor etc. Fast forward to 2014: she retired n received her gratuity. Meanwhile dad who was a rich banker then, lost his job n was duped in a business deal he ventured into. Now mum is the one in charge. No more tears. She now runs the show. The jeep she bought, dad drives it. Everywhere they go, mum tells whoever cares tho listen that dad bought the car n not her. She has begun her building project n will soon become a landlady. She doesn't hesitate to give whenever dad needs cash. She has forgotten how it was. She has forgotten how this same man who is greatly benefitting from her now, used to abuse her n call her lazy n a liability. Lol. Now who's the liability? She doesn't hide her money from her "beloved'' husband. I get mad at times n wished she would retaliate. But my mum would have none of that. She now has more thasn enough wrappers n jewellries. No more tears. Hmmmmmmmmm I believe that's how marriage should be. So pls advise your cousin to do what she can. She's even blessed with money n can comfortably provide for herself n kids. If need be,let her do same for her husband. Things will change for the best someday. And of course, now that mum has some money, dad is not even contributing a dime anymore. Lol. Mum still believes he will change some day. But as we wait for that day to come, mum is smoothly running the home n everyone is happy.

God bless ya and your family, your mother her best women in the world

U dnt call them men. lf because ur wife has money,u now deliberately ignore ur responsibilities, then u ar not fit 2 b call a man cos u just a disgrace 2 responsible men and all d blessing u are suppose 2 get frm taking care of ur family wil go 2 ur wife. If u dnt have,it is understandable

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chibic:
But if the woman is making a considerable amount of money,why won't she help?..what is her money for? Make ups and clothes? Spending money on her kids should be a problem? But it is right for the man to spend all his money even when he is making a pea nut amount.women loves to anounce to the whole world whenever they spend a penny on their familly. If a man starts a busines for his wife and she eventually starts making good money from it,why won't she help out financially? Or maybe the husband sent her to school and took care of her till she graduated and get job,still she will expect to go to her grave with all the money she makes.I thought women wants equality but when it comes to responsibilities,they'll remind you that its a man's job. Only a house wife should complain if the man is not taking 100% care of his financial responsibilities.but as for working class or business women..shut the ffuck up you selfish beings!!!

waoh great,i leave my ex cos of dis she is workn even always busy but cnt called me wit her money unless i send her credit card.

mekybabe1: Quote Post
Sometimes I blame the woman. No matter how rich she is, do not show it. Men love to be in charge and when you make them feel you can be in charge too, they "take a seat and watch". My dad did same too, my friends had same story to tell so I didn't let that happen to me. Till date, my hubby doesn't know how much I earn. He pays the rent,kids fees, repairs the cars, gives me food allowance and all I do is "support" eg. I go to the market with the money given to me and if I see anything else we might need at home, I use my money without even letting him know. If I see lovely toys or clothes for the kids, I buy them with my money. He tried to complain once, but I told him it's a taboo in my place for a woman to feed her family and take up a man's responsibilities grin. So he got used to it except of course, if he doesn't have a job( God forbid!) and I will definitely take over from where he stopped tongue

This is why men do it, You are greedy!

How do you think your man will feel if he now finds out, you earn as much as he earns and yet he carries everything?... and don't say he won't find out, he'll, very soon in fact.

This sort of man will take advantage of the situation and squeeze it like never before, cos for years, you've been greedy. You are supposed to be empathetic to your loved ones. Why would you be in a relationship with someone you can't 'throway face ' for?...

Show love, thats all. Its all about love, nobody is weak.

Edusouls:
greedy and selfish women of so called virtue, in your own home, you are boiling inside,because you bring out money for the up keep of your own husband, ur own kids, for the betterment of your own future....

I'll ignore your words and assume you didn't understand my post to have made such utterances. Have a blessed day

I never pray for that even if she is rich i will be richer than.............#

CrazyMan:

You're getting it all wrong bro.

Read my original post again...we're talking about when the man deliberately shy away from his responsibilities thereby leaving the weight of the family on the shoulders of the woman, and not a situation where a woman settles a petty responsibilities and starts telling everyone that cares to listen.

Are you married? Wait until you do. Women's latest efforts overshadow husbands' previous efforts. Men too get tired...abeg na for grave him go enjoy? You want the men to work till they die? See why many don't live long. Only widows full everywhere!

bukatyne:


What is life all about?

What do you admire about his family?

The ability to give back!

Jackeeh:
You cousin is lucky. I watched my mum cry severally cos of the embarrassment she received from my dad. I watched how my dad would cross certain things off the market list to reduce the little amount needed for feeding. It got so bad that I'd go to my dad's superstore to steal cash just so my mum could have some money in her purse( that I'm not proud of). She was just a secondary school teacher then. My dad has never bought anything for my mum. She worked hard, got promoted , became an academic supervisor etc. Fast forward to 2014: she retired n received her gratuity. Meanwhile dad who was a rich banker then, lost his job n was duped in a business deal he ventured into. Now mum is the one in charge. No more tears. She now runs the show. The jeep she bought, dad drives it. Everywhere they go, mum tells whoever cares tho listen that dad bought the car n not her. She has begun her building project n will soon become a landlady. She doesn't hesitate to give whenever dad needs cash. She has forgotten how it was. She has forgotten how this same man who is greatly benefitting from her now, used to abuse her n call her lazy n a liability. Lol. Now who's the liability? She doesn't hide her money from her "beloved'' husband. I get mad at times n wished she would retaliate. But my mum would have none of that. She now has more thasn enough wrappers n jewellries. No more tears. Hmmmmmmmmm I believe that's how marriage should be. So pls advise your cousin to do what she can. She's even blessed with money n can comfortably provide for herself n kids. If need be,let her do same for her husband. Things will change for the best someday. And of course, now that mum has some money, dad is not even contributing a dime anymore. Lol. Mum still believes he will change some day. But as we wait for that day to come, mum is smoothly running the home n everyone is happy.

GOD BLESS HER AND REWARD HER THROUGH HER KIDS AND GRANT HER LONGEVITY TO REAP HER HARD EARNED FRUITS OF THE LABOUR OF LOVE.

O my dear, he earns twice what I earn. Pls read my post again, I support not take up his responsibilities. I hope you know when a man does all that, he earns respect from his wife. Even the bible says so. Just for you to know, it's been ten years since I started working. He tells me that he's not interested in what I earn. Women, we are good at hiding stuffs except we want the man to know. So go hug a transformer if it'll make you feel better! quote author=damola1 post=31034607]

This is why men do it, You are greedy!

How do you think your man will feel if he now finds out, you earn as much as he earns and yet he carries everything?... and don't say he won't find out, he'll, very soon in fact.

This sort of man will take advantage of the situation and squeeze it like never before, cos for years, you've been greedy. You are supposed to be empathetic to your loved ones. Why would you be in a relationship with someone you can't 'throway face ' for?...

Show love, thats all. Its all about love, nobody is weak. [/quote]

On a more serious note, let us be real about these things cos they exist almost in every home now.
you see so called men relaxing and waiting on their wives to be the provider, it is wrong traditionally
spiritually and morally. A woman is supposed to support her husband and not take the position of the
breadwinner, a situation whereby the man is ill,out of job could be understood but then he must hustle.

Why should I spend.

precisionindepth:
irresponsibility, poverty, wanting to wear skirt instead of trousers

una still dey wear skirts?

nairaman66:


The ability to give back!

Ability to give back or the ability to forgive?

What is given back

fpeter:
On a more serious note, let us be real about these things cos they exist almost in every home now.
you see so called men relaxing and waiting on their wives to be the provider, it is wrong traditionally
spiritually and morally. A woman is supposed to support her husband and not take the position of the
breadwinner, a situation whereby the man is ill,out of job could be understood but then he must hustle.

everything has changed. Appreciate one of u have the means... in some homes no nobody has or no man sef.

mekybabe1:
O my dear, he earns twice what I earn. Pls read my post again, I support not take up his responsibilities. I hope you know when a man does all that, he earns respect from his wife. Even the bible says so. Just for you to know, it's been ten years since I started working. He tells me that he's not interested in what I earn. Women, we are good at hiding stuffs except we want the man to know. So go hug a transformer if it'll make you feel better! quote author=damola1 post=31034607]

This is why men do it, You are greedy!

How do you think your man will feel if he now finds out, you earn as much as he earns and yet he carries everything?... and don't say he won't find out, he'll, very soon in fact.

This sort of man will take advantage of the situation and squeeze it like never before, cos for years, you've been greedy. You are supposed to be empathetic to your loved ones. Why would you be in a relationship with someone you can't 'throway face ' for?...

Show love, thats all. Its all about love, nobody is weak.

which respect? you think u are respectful? u no be model for anybody.

Best post on NL yet!
Hats off to all the strong independent women who are victims of irresponsible husbands and still stay married to such once sotee they begin feed,clothe, and shelter am, con even born his children... There's a special place in heaven for such once.
But mehhhhhhn I no mad wey I go allow one idiot with nothing but a "Jjohn thomas" pull that kind stunt! The minute he stops providing due to his percieved financial security of his wife,omo let him just grant me a letter of divorce because he has already lost the right to be called my husband! I mean even the bible sef talk am that "a man that fails to provide for his household is worse than he without faith" so what exactly is your role as the head of the family and a husband if you shift your responsibilities to me when nothing do you? Just to cure konji? If na so omo park well o, there r a million and one ways to sort that out without you being there abeg!
If a man parries his responsibilities for no viable reason to his wife then he has just sucessfully emansculated himself because his God-Given role as aman and a head is to PROVIDE for his family spiritually, materially,emotionally and what have you while the woman is to act as his complement; the neck to his headship.
#take it or leave it

Jackeeh:
You cousin is lucky. I watched my mum cry severally cos of the embarrassment she received from my dad. I watched how my dad would cross certain things off the market list to reduce the little amount needed for feeding. It got so bad that I'd go to my dad's superstore to steal cash just so my mum could have some money in her purse( that I'm not proud of). She was just a secondary school teacher then. My dad has never bought anything for my mum. She worked hard, got promoted , became an academic supervisor etc. Fast forward to 2014: she retired n received her gratuity. Meanwhile dad who was a rich banker then, lost his job n was duped in a business deal he ventured into. Now mum is the one in charge. No more tears. She now runs the show. The jeep she bought, dad drives it. Everywhere they go, mum tells whoever cares tho listen that dad bought the car n not her. She has begun her building project n will soon become a landlady. She doesn't hesitate to give whenever dad needs cash. She has forgotten how it was. She has forgotten how this same man who is greatly benefitting from her now, used to abuse her n call her lazy n a liability. Lol. Now who's the liability? She doesn't hide her money from her "beloved'' husband. I get mad at times n wished she would retaliate. But my mum would have none of that. She now has more thasn enough wrappers n jewellries. No more tears. Hmmmmmmmmm I believe that's how marriage should be. So pls advise your cousin to do what she can. She's even blessed with money n can comfortably provide for herself n kids. If need be,let her do same for her husband. Things will change for the best someday. And of course, now that mum has some money, dad is not even contributing a dime anymore. Lol. Mum still believes he will change some day. But as we wait for that day to come, mum is smoothly running the home n everyone is happy.

I've never like a post on this forum, but yours is the first. Your story is fantastic. I love it.

Most ladies on this thread feel like marriage is equivalent to earning a workhorse (husband).

Stop feeling like that.

When a man maries to himself a women, she now belongs to him. Yall aint gone like this but its true.

Her ability to produce wealth isnt for herself anymore but for him. If I buy a horse to help me do work, of course im gonna feed the horse, care for it, be nice to it and make sure its strong and healthy. If it produces an income, do I not have all the rights to all of it?

Most ladies think marriage is a cakewalk, a blissful bed of roses and a holiday.

No it isnt.

U women were created for men to help them.you are meant to be an asset to men , NOT the other way round. As men we are to derive all sorts of benefits from having a wife. "He who finds a wife finds a GOOD things and Obtains blessings, favour benefits..." dont forget ladies. Men dont actually need women for much but the feminine imperative has made social conventioms to trap men into thinking that the almighty pussy if not had, will bring sjame loneliness and desperation into his life.

Hogwash.

This not women bashing so conceal ur weapons. This is the truth. If you dont want to give ur self sacrificiallly in love to a man and children., please remain in your father's house permanently and watch your flower wither away into oblivion, never to be desired by a man, not even for a cheap bang.

You mad? Sorry. That's the way it is.

Some may ask why does it have to this way? Well, it been given to men to rule over women. Nuff said.

Sounds like your female cousin and husband's problem to me. In any case, like u said, the man is a grown up baby.

Misogynist2014:
Why should I spend.

You cannot spend what you do not have

You are her bitch she spends on you not the other way round

Sarimah:
dear Lord, I don't need such a husband

yeah, am a gud hard working man!

can we rapot??

ferdimako:

Are you married? Wait until you do. Women's latest efforts overshadow husbands' previous efforts. Men too get tired...abeg na for grave him go enjoy? You want the men to work till they die? See why many don't live long. Only widows full everywhere!

Hahhahahhahahhahahhahahahhahah. Its true oooo. At the end of the day. Na the woman go do omugwo anywhere in the world and come back wiv loads of gifts and money. Maybe men should start doing omugwo too. This is what gender equality is all about. Lmaoooo.

mekybabe1: Quote Post
O my dear, he earns twice what I earn. Pls read my post again, I support not take up his responsibilities. I hope you know when a man does all that, he earns respect from his wife. Even the bible says so. Just for you to know, it's been ten years since I started working. He tells me that he's not interested in what I earn. Women, we are good at hiding stuffs except we want the man to know. So go hug a transformer if it'll make you feel better! sad angry coolquote author=damola1 post=31034607]

Oh dear, I am not hear to fight with you, it's your wahala. I am only stating it the way I see it.

10 good years, and you think it's OK, to continue to be greedy?... You keep all your money, and make him wear out, he pushes for you to support at home, you came after him with the 'men do crap in your village story', you should have marry someone from your village then.

You are sowing a seed of distrust, and disconnect, which will eventually come back to hunt you. You've to LOVE. SUPPORT. LOVE and SUPPORT. If someone brings N10, you must endeavour to bring: N2-4. Thats how it's played, he shouldn't have to suffer for you or your kids a lone, he should live and enjoy is own life too. All this stress is telling on him, in ways you cannot imagine. Is it a crime for him to go on vacation and chill?..

People wonder why men die before women, it's because of years and years of been used and re used, and used, and re use. No love.


Anyway, wish you best of luck, just show love, thats all. I will smell a greedy woman 10 miles away, I have no time for greedy people. I will love you with all I am made of, and you will love me with all you're made of.

Nobody told me to buy a car, pay a driver, pay for a househelp, and even pay a salary to my babe when I needed to, and nobody told her to do the same back to me when she needed to, it's how the game is played. I will do it, over and over again!