Chilug:

And what kind of husband does that? Washing plate. Shh!

Sarimah:
dear Lord, I don't need such a husband

urchbarbie:
Oh dear me! I was just goin to stay ghostmode n enjoy dis thread till I came across dis shittyyy comment. Ure educated, yes dat I can see from ur writeup. Wat I don't understnd is why u ceased to comprehend d bible passage u quoted. Kai! The woman is d asset of her husband? Yes we gree. But whr u lost me is in ur intial argument whr ladies feel a husband is a workhorse and a woman remmitting her earnings cos she is her husbands "horse"
My dear, if ure a christain as u quotes d scriptures well, try rembr d encounter in d garden of eden.
A man is the "workhorse" of any home, dat was y God says Adam wld toil d earth ..............and d woman wld labour to bring forth her young one.
Nna! Take up ur responsiblity. Its been dere since d time of old

Rhemmymatician:


If you prove to be a good girl, i'll try not to be that kind of husband to you

fuzzywuzzy:
Men these days are just useless. The situation OP described is taking place in almost every home today just that the wives are hiding it because they don't want to look pathetic. Listen closely to their convos with best friends and you'll hear them complaining bitterly about their husbands' irresponsibility......... Marriage has lost its value. Men don't want to do anything at all these days: housework they won't help with, children they will not take care of, cook they will not cook. Ok provide money which is the only thing they are generally expected to do and still they cannot do it, they will rather spend the money on women outside instead of their own kids. Very useless people.

ferdimako:

which respect? you think u are respectful? u no be model for anybody.

damola1:


Oh dear, I am not hear to fight with you, it's your wahala. I am only stating it the way I see it.

10 good years, and you think it's OK, to continue to be greedy?... You keep all your money, and make him wear out, he pushes for you to support at home, you came after him with the 'men do crap in your village story', you should have marry someone from your village then.

You are sowing a seed of distrust, and disconnect, which will eventually come back to hunt you. You've to LOVE. SUPPORT. LOVE and SUPPORT. If someone brings N10, you must endeavour to bring: N2-4. Thats how it's played, he shouldn't have to suffer for you or your kids a lone, he should live and enjoy is own life too. All this stress is telling on him, in ways you cannot imagine. Is it a crime for him to go on vacation and chill?..

People wonder why men die before women, it's because of years and years of been used and re used, and used, and re use. No love.


Anyway, wish you best of luck, just show love, thats all. I will smell a greedy woman 10 miles away, I have no time for greedy people. I will love you with all I am made of, and you will love me with all you're made of.

Nobody told me to buy a car, pay a driver, pay for a househelp, and even pay a salary to my babe when I needed to, and nobody told her to do the same back to me when she needed to, it's how the game is played. I will do it, over and over again!

strenghtofawoman:
Itis not wrong for a woman to assist in the home, it bcomes wrong wen d man abandons all d responsibility to her,, A man dt does such is a failure to himself,his family and to God..

ferdimako:

which respect? you think u are respectful? u no be model for anybody.

urchbarbie:
From which point so I can clarify

Daresh:


So if you had no means to provide for your family, and got a chance to wash plates in a restaurant so your family can eat. Will you do it? Or is it beneath you. While your family starves

Daresh:


So if you had no means to provide for your family, and got a chance to wash plates in a restaurant so your family can eat. Will you do it? Or is it beneath you. While your family starves

missjenna:
This is a very serious issue.
I experienced similar when I was growing up. My dad was a business man while my mum was a graduate without a job. My dad was very hardworking and he would always leave the house early in the morning and come back home at late evenings all in the bid to cater for his family

I noticed that as soon as my mum got a job, he kind of became lazy. He wasn't going to work early as before and he began taking unnecessary breaks from work.
This led to problems in both his business and marriage.

I just used this story to express my thoughts. Husbands, when they see that their wives have a source of income tend to feel that a burden has been lifted off their shoulders and they kind of relax, which isn't supposed to be so

Definitely the wife should take on some of the financial responsibilities, after all marriage is a kind partnership relationship. But this shouldn't mean that the husband should use this as an avenue to prey on the wife

In my own opinion, I think the financial responsibilities should be shared based on the income strength of both husband and wife.

Thanks

fuzzywuzzy:
Welcome to reality, majority of men these days are exactly like this; useless pieces of furniture. Infact furniture is more useful than them because furniture actually have purposes that they serve. You can sit on chairs and place decorations on tables so men are more useless than furniture. Thank God more and more women are starting to question the usefulness of marriage in their lives.

Votukpa:


I'll take u up from that garden of eden rhetoric.

You see, Adam was already working before eve came along to help him (helpmate) and to keep him company. He was working but not toilsome work. Notice that he was to eat by the sweat of his brow AFTER when he LISTENED TO HIS WIFE, to do evil before the Lord. If you're going to compare everyman to Adam then, it is safor me to say that it is because of women that men have to do toilsome work. We like Adam didnt have to do it initially. Toilsome workhorse work is not a badge of honor it is PUNISHMENT for listening to a woman's evil idea. Thats why the woman wasnt meant to help him to do the toilsome work. Share the love AND punishment.

Who is a wife?

Go read proverbs 31
she is hard to find
she lives to please her husband
she works hard to keep her home
she entrepreneurial
she is agile and not lazy
she helps people
she fears the Lord
,
What an asset, what a wife. No shes not a workhorse, she is a wife.

All this talk of responaibility is overated. We men would move heaven and earth to make a woman like this the envy of other women.

We men dont need help all the time because we are strong and resourceful in our youth. When were old thats when this wife shows herself to be proverbs 31 material...but rome wasnt built in a day. Being like her takes years of practice. No man will cheat on this woman, ever.

Therefore, responsibility rests on the shoulders of the man and the woman helps him bear it. If as a business man, I leave the entire responsibilty of my business to my workhorse, would my business not fail quickly? If I leave it all to my wife, the entire responsibility to run the home wouldnt she get exhausted and my marriage head to the rocks?

Marriage is purposed to achieving goals, husband with support from his wife. Responsibility is for both, not one.

Blitz888:
A man 'Manning up' is about being alive to your responsibilities. Men who abdicate their responsibilities are not fit to be called men.
I was raised in a male dominated environment with brothers and uncles everywhere call it a Testosterone filled atmosphere and you won't be wrong. We were raised to take grt pleasure in catering to and securing our dependents wifey inclusive. How can I ever live with myself if I can't be the man in my house.. I blame it on their fathers who raise them to be this irresponsible. After all, if I don't take care of her who will? o ha ka'm na gbara mbo!

GoodFaith:

agreed with the above comment
If your wife have a good education and great job
You will kill yourself taking care of the family
What should your wife do with her salary?
Marriage is taking care of each other Husband and wife

Blitz888:
BRO, blame me not... I was raised that way, to take pleasure in discharging my duties her money not withstanding.
I guess it's a tradition in my clime to always provide for our wives and family. That's why we refer to our wives as 'oriaku' and not 'okpaku'.

donpeey22:
Bro, no be by mouth oooo, na ur type dey seize ATM card from madam

GoodFaith:

agreed with the above comment
If your wife have a good education and great job
You will kill yourself taking care of the family
What should your wife do with her salary?
Marriage is taking care of each other Husband and wife

strenghtofawoman:
There is an adage in my place that says a woman's money is never complete until a man adds to it.
The bible also clearly states that a man who connot take care(provide for the family) is an infidel..any man doing this has already failed himself and God

Having said this,let me also stae dt there re instances wre d woman earns more,this does not in any way stop the man from providing for her,if he does this, he is cheating the woman, and guess wat!! Such men never get to d level of their wives .
Itis not wrong for a woman to assist in the home, it bcomes wrong wen d man abandons all d responsibility to her,, A man dt does such is a failure to himself,his family and to God..

Jackeeh:
You cousin is lucky. I watched my mum cry severally cos of the embarrassment she received from my dad. I watched how my dad would cross certain things off the market list to reduce the little amount needed for feeding. It got so bad that I'd go to my dad's superstore to steal cash just so my mum could have some money in her purse( that I'm not proud of). She was just a secondary school teacher then. My dad has never bought anything for my mum. She worked hard, got promoted , became an academic supervisor etc. Fast forward to 2014: she retired n received her gratuity. Meanwhile dad who was a rich banker then, lost his job n was duped in a business deal he ventured into. Now mum is the one in charge. No more tears. She now runs the show. The jeep she bought, dad drives it. Everywhere they go, mum tells whoever cares tho listen that dad bought the car n not her. She has begun her building project n will soon become a landlady. She doesn't hesitate to give whenever dad needs cash. She has forgotten how it was. She has forgotten how this same man who is greatly benefitting from her now, used to abuse her n call her lazy n a liability. Lol. Now who's the liability? She doesn't hide her money from her "beloved'' husband. I get mad at times n wished she would retaliate. But my mum would have none of that. She now has more thasn enough wrappers n jewellries. No more tears. Hmmmmmmmmm I believe that's how marriage should be. So pls advise your cousin to do what she can. She's even blessed with money n can comfortably provide for herself n kids. If need be,let her do same for her husband. Things will change for the best someday. And of course, now that mum has some money, dad is not even contributing a dime anymore. Lol. Mum still believes he will change some day. But as we wait for that day to come, mum is smoothly running the home n everyone is happy.

Blitz888:
BRO, blame me not... I was raised that way, to take pleasure in discharging my duties her money not withstanding.
I guess it's a tradition in my clime to always provide for our wives and family. That's why we refer to our wives as 'oriaku' and not 'okpaku'.

precisionindepth:
I think in every relationship, dere shd b sharing of responsibilities in which each party will contribute and help each other. marriage is not a slave relationship but a partnership but in d case where a man feels in his stupidity and foolishness DT cos he's wife earns money den he shd abandon his responsibilities is so out of it.

I know a cousin of mine who once said DT its better for dem not to v a father cos if dey Dont v , dey might get pple to help dem cos virtually everything at home is provided by their mother and d task became so overwhelming for d woman.

Chilug:

It won't get that bad. Gerrit?