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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage (22475 Views)
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Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by kunlenkirol(m): 12:18pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Joy1706:I think it is a bad idea for couples to go to separate churches. You people should sit and talk over it. It pays to do things together! |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by edogirl2: 12:20pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Op should have ironed this out from day 1 of the relationship, rather than wait until marriage is in the offing. Now, you're either going to go along to his church and be frustrated about it (forever?), or you marry, attend a separate church but end up with a bitter, frustrated man who feels humiliated by a wife who defy him to attend a different church. This can infest your entire relationship as husband and wife and ruin your mutual happiness for a long time to come. Think carefully about your choice. A'boro lan so fun omoluabi o! |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Joy1706(f): 12:27pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
craziebone:Thank u dear |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Joy1706(f): 12:30pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
adami:Finally! Someone gets me. 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by eminent007(m): 12:35pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Story for the gods!!! |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by postmann: 12:45pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Joy1706: Of course, you're wrong. Since you know or feel religion is a personal thing, you should have been careful enough to marry a man whose religous linings suits yours. I discoverd that women who claim to be religious are the most stuborn in acknowledgimg their husband's authourity. Your husband is your spiritual head, and he comes first before your pastor. You cant serve GOD outside HIS will. And HIS will is clear: " wives be submissive to your husband aa to the LORD" It's very clear. GOD resists the proud. 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by nannymcphee(f): 12:54pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
funarosho: recipe for disaster!!!!!! Jehovah witness believes Jesus is not God but he is the son of God living faith believes Jesus is son of God and God at the same time God they dont pray in the name of Jesus they dont celebrate birthdays amongst all other things!! imagine junior telling that to your face or that the Holy spirit is not God but a force you better have a rethink!!!!!!!!!! 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by eeewise(m): 12:54pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Miss Joy, biblically u re to submit to ur husband in all things,eph 5 vs 24. A husband means master,owner in d hebrew wordings " lord Original Word: בַּ֫עַל Part of Speech: Noun Masculine Transliteration: baal Phonetic Spelling: (bah'-al) Short Definition: owner NAS Exhaustive Concordance Word Origin from baal Definition owner, lord" If u re not ready to submit to his authority ,u re not ready to marry him....pls if he insist u change church do so or forget the marriage. if u decide to marry him and do ur own thing u wil be a rebel 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Horgahkunle(m): 12:56pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Joy1706: Joy1706: Joy1706: |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Nobody: 1:06pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Religion, destroying relationships since the time of the dinosaurs. |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Melahou(m): 1:08pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Op if am your boy friend and you told me church is a personal decision then i'll see it as a total piss off. It's like you want to be the man of the house. Is shows no submission and respect @ all. Pls don't mention that in public @ all. If you attend an Anglican church and your husband attends a Baptist church then which church will your kids attend? 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Melahou(m): 1:13pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
slimyem: Please tell them. There are somethings we may consider little but to others it may be a big deal. I have seen a man divorced his wife just after 3months of marriage just because of this same issue. Woman with pride...na God go help us 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Noneroone(m): 1:13pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
firetrap:a typical divided home! Op be careful. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by tete7000(m): 1:15pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Joy1706: If you won't follow your husband to church, why not marry from your church? Have you not read that the house divided against itself cannot stand (Mark 3:25)? What will you call division that a house where man, woman and probably children attend separate churches? |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by justmag(m): 1:19pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
MsPat: This is very helpful. I never thought about this until now. Religion is really a big factor. What if the love is strong but it's hard to compromise on that level. Would you leave or pray about it? 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Nobody: 1:26pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
justmag:My brother u pray o.....nothing is too big or small to pray about. If i were involved, rather than leave i'll attend d man's church but i'll pray for his change of heart. Besides if the church is ok spiritually, what's d fuss? Church na church.....nd God is everly God whether in orthodox or pentecostal churches. 'Oga' nd i grew up in d same church....so i don't think he'll want to change. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by firetrap(m): 1:28pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Noneroone: how stupid can one be by saying because a couple don't worship together means that their home is divided. my parents have been married for 40 years, pray together every night, have businesses together and all my siblings are happily married save me. So you want to say that governor fashola whose wife is a Christian and he a Muslim have a broken home abi. guy use your brain sometimes, that's why God gave you. 3 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by ladywriter(f): 1:35pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
@Op, i totally understand how you feel. Church issue is a BIG ONE. What i will suggest is that if you know you cannot attend his church, the two of you can come to a compromise. Sit down and choose a NEUTRAL church to attend together as a family. That way you will have peace in your home and life. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by lovely17(m): 1:36pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
MsPat:hmmmm when did "CHURCHY" become a word |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by bukatyne(f): 1:39pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
deledels: I salute you too If the man insists the girl goes to his church and the girl insists she continues with her present church after marriage, what do you advice them to do? |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by bukatyne(f): 1:40pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
EddyNumerouno: Na real wa no be small |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by film2(m): 1:41pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
This kind of issue as small as it might appear has implications that can destabilize any marriage or relationship.... There is/are no sufficient advice that is the best in this situation because I have seen marriages that thrived even though the couple are not attending same church.. I believe everything is based on how strong is your LOVE for each other? I believe you asked because maybe your fiance is hell bent on getting you to join his church...Before you decide to change church assess your church's ideology with his,if it doesn't align just quit...OOO or white garment churches are different from Catholic, Anglican and the rest...Above all back it up with prayers because if he is your man such can never be an issue...I rest my Case 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by bukatyne(f): 1:41pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
veave: This is a wrong approach They must iron out issues before saying I do |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by femi4: 1:43pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Joy1706:Its not healthy for both of you especially when kids started coming. Marriage is all about making sacrifices. The solution to the problem is simple; 1. Leave your church and follow your hubby to his Church 2. Your hubby should leave his Church and follow you to your Church 3. Both of you should forsake your Churches and look for a neutral Church that his spirit and yours are in agreement with |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by veave(f): 1:49pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
bukatyne: True you said. But he is a boyfriend and he's already assuming she is not submissive because she aired her own view. Didnt you see he doesnt want to leave any rooms for negotiation? So because he might want to marry her in future she should just nod her head like agama lizard to anything he says? He is not yet a suitor abeg. Make e marry am first. All these ones na speculations dey still dey. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by JoeCutie(m): 1:55pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
peteonline:My wife and kids MUST attend the same Church as me. Period! No time for long thing. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Blitz888(m): 1:59pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Joy1706:Feelings are too ephemeral to build any thing substantial on.. You don't feel the presence of God with your senses but rather you perceive in your Spirit cos God is Spirit and those that must worship him must do so in truth and in spirit. Feelings come and go... I would rather you dwell on more important things like making a success of your union than on trivial issues such as this. In summary; God is not the author of confusion! 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Nobody: 2:01pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Op, there is nowhere it is written that a woman MUST attend her husband's church or religion. Its just an unwritten law africans adopted. The only exceptioon is where you and husband are from similar religions. If religion is not negotiable, you take your religion very seriously, dnt marry that guy ooooo. People tag it as a small issue but my dear, its a serious issue even after marriage. People have opened up after marriage to complain how it affects them and causes chaos in their homes. Even for the sake of your kids, you must make the right decision so that your family isnt religiously divided. If your preference is towards a guy who attends your church or has similar religious beliefs with you, better go for that kind of guy. Marriage is real oo. No fairy tales. Its important your partner has similar goals and RELIGIOUS AFFILIATIONS/BELIEFS with you to avoid conflicts. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Nobody: 2:03pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
Bible says: can two walk together except they agree? The "two" it talked about there is actually 1 and 1, not 1 and half and half. Op, don't allow anyone to brainwash you into believing that you have a smaller say in this issue. 2 Likes |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by ukandi1(m): 2:03pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
bukatyne: persuasion does not apply here. Its either u are in or out. Church issues are more serious than what u fellas here take it to mean. I write from experience. I am pentecostal and my wife orthodox. Its normal for d lady to change to d man's church or walk away cos love is never enuf. She agreed to join me in my pentecostal after marriage only for her to renege after d marriage. I was patient til i cud take it no more. D doctrines are not d same but all end up in d bedroom. I started making enquiries and seeking divorce barely 2yrs into d marriage. U ar joking with fire. Beta sort it out now. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Nobody: 2:07pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
JoeCutie: no one is saying you shouldn't want what ever you want. What we are saying is you can't blackmail anyone into that kind of mix up with the "you are not submissive" line. 1 Like |
Re: My Boyfriend Demands I Change My Church After Marriage by Blitz888(m): 2:07pm On Mar 09, 2015 |
ladywriter:Your suggestion though... Why would I settle for a new church cos I decided to get married? Pray you're dispassionate in your views cos this will not go down well with most guys especially if they are very committed and involved in their Church. |
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