Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

craziebone:


i can understand it why some people would give such a condition for marriage. Religion is basically an ideology that shapes our manners and mannerisms. Anyone has the right to want what ever kind of marriage he or she wants.

But the decision to compromise or not, lies with you. And no, It is not in areas like this when you say no to a man's suggestion that you are to be called insubordinate.

If you think you can compromise, then go on ahead. But if you cannot compromise, then it's ok. You don't have to marry him.

adami:


I get u totally.

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

funarosho:
I'm also in D's kind of stuff ooo. she b Jehovah witness and I'm a living faith member . we av both talked abt it and we both agreed to go for wateva we want but d children will choose who to follow .

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

slimyem:
I don't think so ma.After marriage,such decisions won't be just YOURS to take anymore. It would be a joint one .At least,It is supposed to be. Aren't you both Christians?
....and it's not like he's decided for you yet . He's laying his cards on the table which means you both get to talk about it but you don't seem like you even want to listen/reason with him.
You are being strong-headed over something that can be reasoned out.

firetrap:
@op please and please it is not a must that you attend the same church as your husband to be but if he insist after you both have discussed the issue and you feel that you can make the switch then for the sake of peace, you can switch. but make sure you talk it out before you marry and not after he's married to you.

I'm Catholic, so are all other member of my family except my father who's Methodist. we only attend his church when he has family harvest and same goes for him when we have family thanksgiving in the Catholic church. not every family or couple can come to that understanding. my dad even went as far as getting baptised in the Catholic church just so he could marry my mother.

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

MsPat:
Often times, the woman is usually required to change churches once she gets married. The exception being if the man was never religious or churchy....but my sister for the sake of peace, try to reach a compromise.

I know of a couple....the woman attends my church, her husband is an elder in another church. The man comes over to every of my church's special programs, the lady does likewise. The ball is in your court.....but hope u know kids will be involved sooner or later?

justmag:


This is very helpful. I never thought about this until now. Religion is really a big factor. What if the love is strong but it's hard to compromise on that level. Would you leave or pray about it?

Noneroone:
a typical divided home!
Op be careful.

MsPat:
Often times, the woman is usually required to change churches once she gets married. The exception being if the man was never religious or churchy....but my sister for the sake of peace, try to reach a compromise.

I know of a couple....the woman attends my church, her husband is an elder in another church. The man comes over to every of my church's special programs, the lady does likewise. The ball is in your court.....but hope u know kids will be involved sooner or later?

deledels:

Chief adviser,,I salute you,,
So because her fiance wants her to join him in his own church after wedding,,thats enough reason for her to dump him,,is it that easy to dump a partner at the slightest disagreement? Nawa o

EddyNumerouno:


Forget the marriage
Auntie na wa

veave:
Make e marry you first. This one na small tori

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

bukatyne:


This is a wrong approach

They must iron out issues before saying I do

peteonline:
Hi OP,
Its not really all about being submissive or not. Religion isn't just personal but a very important thing too. If you ignore it now, it make make or mare your marriage in the future. For you to have a united and undivided home (Wife, Husband and Children)

I advice that you all attend one church.

Joy1706:

What if I'm not feeling the presence of God in his church? Will I continue like that for the rest of my life?

bukatyne:

I wonder when Some men would learn the art of persuasion

JoeCutie:
My wife and kids MUST attend the same Church as me. Period! No time for long thing.

ladywriter:
@Op, i totally understand how you feel. Church issue is a BIG ONE. What i will suggest is that if you know you cannot attend his church, the two of you can come to a compromise. Sit down and choose a NEUTRAL church to attend together as a family. That way you will have peace in your home and life.