OnyeEgo1:


y regrets wen dia are better options out dia??

Av u ascertain d fact dat she has gotten anoda guy?

Don't get more hurt by hanging on 2 a red iron, just let go...

How do u go about it?? Give her distance not even a call

iwatch:
Any words for me...? Is it a good idea to keep hoping it can still work between us or I should take her words and never look back.

Floodgater:
@ iwatch, You said because of your past experience, you formed this mentality that girls have nothing to offer you, that was the warped mentality i was referring to or you still think i was assuming? Believe me, she would have displayed more "yanga" at the initial stage even after accepting you (its a girl's thing) and you wouldnt have handled it well not knowing what you know now. You know, its funny what you guys discuss amongst yourself and conclude is a wife material like if she spends on you. It could be your love language though, but i know it has not cross your mind that she could have done it not to appear cheap or not to be after your money or to prove a point. Again, you cant see the possibility of the other guy giving her the financial muscle to do the gesture she or some other girl though capability but wouldnt not have been able to do without the financial capability to wow you like this (and yes, it could be her money) but one thing is sure sha, she is the giver you cherish else she could have opt declining any offer instead. From what you said about her today, it seems you and the other guy are good offers, who knows she might reconsider but hope on this at your own risk. If you can cope, communicate with her once in a while and when you meet online but desist if you cant cope for your heart and life sakes. My advice is that you take time to get over her before going into another relationship so that a new girl will not pay for the crime committed by your ex the second time (before you go defensive, but for your past experience, you would have condoned her yanga). In this time, not at all hoping, if she comes, fine and if she does not, move on.

gleatz:
Dapsy4U et Floodgater;
Thanks for your contribution. One thing I promised mysef is never to make any excuse for any guy, not again.

This is d pix painted before me, ve known him way back in sch but not until 2yrs ago dat he started asking me out. He's been a church person though but am gonna look beyound d church thingy and concentrate on his personality more, exactly where I ve a prob with him.

Someone like me who thrive well in the atmosphere of utmost care, love, attention and mutual respect is not finding dis whole thing funny.
How can you be wooing me for 2yrs and after I said ok let's give it a trial, u relax and expect me to do the lovey dovey while u be @ d receiving end. Between Feb 14 and dis day, I can count visibly the no of times he has put a call across. Chatting na by force. This is a 38yr old guy for crying out loud. Younger guys wnt even do such. Work, church, home (and football) is his routine, in this same lagos that d tfare won't be more than 1k.
Anytime I try bringing up such issues, says its not right timing, I should wait till when we see, when we've only met once. Arrggghhhhh, I cherish communication to its tiny bits, but here its 10%.
Am begining to think all he want is a woman who will bear him children and not a wife in the real sense. He is so ready to settle down before the year runs out but that connection is not there. That all the love and attention I needzn he will surely give to me when we marry (that one na talk? What you cnt convince me of Now).

I had once told him, a day is coming when he would ping/call and I will be no where to Be found and he will be in d rship all by himsef, whereas I don waka go. His reply is that I should teach him, and am doing that by calling, sending sms, showing concern and care but sincerely he is not measuring up.

That's d dilema @ hand. Me, I don't know if am expecting so much ooo my peeps.

I am not perfect and not looking for one either but basic things matters na (them say sunday wey go make brain, na from saturday night we go know)

thorpido:
@gleatz,
I wouldn't say you should drop him now,give it some time.He is 38yrs as you said and at that age,he is very well matured.Many men of his age don't get on phones that frequently.His personality also matters.You have to teach him if he is willing to learn.
I also think he wants to settle down because of his age and needs a wife more than he needs a lover.

Just give it time and see if it gets better.

Floodgater:
@ iwatch, You said because of your past experience, you formed this mentality that girls have nothing to offer you, that was the warped mentality i was referring to or you still think i was assuming? Believe me, she would have displayed more "yanga" at the initial stage even after accepting you (its a girl's thing) and you wouldnt have handled it well not knowing what you know now. You know, its funny what you guys discuss amongst yourself and conclude is a wife material like if she spends on you. It could be your love language though, but i know it has not cross your mind that she could have done it not to appear cheap or not to be after your money or to prove a point. Again, you cant see the possibility of the other guy giving her the financial muscle to do the gesture she or some other girl though capability but wouldnt not have been able to do without the financial capability to wow you like this (and yes, it could be her money) but one thing is sure sha, she is the giver you cherish else she could have opt declining any offer instead. From what you said about her today, it seems you and the other guy are good offers, who knows she might reconsider but hope on this at your own risk. If you can cope, communicate with her once in a while and when you meet online but desist if you cant cope for your heart and life sakes. My advice is that you take time to get over her before going into another relationship so that a new girl will not pay for the crime committed by your ex the second time (before you go defensive, but for your past experience, you would have condoned her yanga). In this time, not at all hoping, if she comes, fine and if she does not, move on.

babyosisi:


Stop doing too much
Yes you are doing too much
How can a man be 38 and unmarried sef
Are you sure his sumtin works ?

babyosisi:


Give who time?
So that he clocks 40 plus
He has no time o
I will advise her to start looking elsewhere
This man sounds high risk
What will she teach a 38 year old man Bikonu

babyosisi:


Give who time?
So that he clocks 40 plus
He has no time o
I will advise her to start looking elsewhere
This man sounds high risk
What will she teach a 38 year old man Bikonu

gleatz:
@BabyMama, I am confused.
The church thingy is masking so much. Can't still fathom it.

veave:
Iwatch. I really do not understand your post and couldn't make head or tail from the story. Maybe i cant read well.... maybe...

iwatch:
hmmm... please calm down and read it again. or let me me know which part that is not clear.

gleatz:
@BabyMama, I am confused.
The church thingy is masking so much. Can't still fathom it.

babyosisi:
Iwatch,such is life
You live,you learn.
Let it go

veave:




Leme jooor
I wee not tell you

veave:
I want to confess and shame the devil...

brunnette4real:
I have been a silent observer on this thread and learnt a lot.
Although,I have issueS bothering me.I was in a relatinship with a guy (40yrs)for 6 months with marital plans involved,he introduced me to his family and also went with me to my church for marriage counselling,but I left him in dec.cos he had xter problems,he nags a lot,very suspicious always checking my phones,and talks anyhow like( me forcing him to marry him ,he is not convinced about marriage,and other things I can't mention here),I didn't see myself enjoying marriage with him so I left.
Also,there is this guy that has been a friend to me infact like a brother,even when I was courting my ex,and he knows alll about my relationship,recently we started dating ,so I asked him who am I to him and where the relationship is leading to ,he Said I'm an intimate friend,he is not yet convinced I'm his wife,he is serious about me but I shouldn't take him serious and he wants to get married but need to sort out finances first before marriage and he prays for me to be his wife cos he loves me and see qualities in me,but if God says I'm not his so be it,and if someone that is ready to marry me comes along I should pray and make my choice.
So I told him I want to stop dating him since he said I Shouldn't take him serious, so we decided to be friends like we were before ,but with reduced communication and closeness.On sunday he gave me a phone as my birthday gift and I told him I don't want it,the reason I gave him was dat I don't want to use a big phone again since my samsung galaxy just got stolen in my office and If I will use a big phone it will always be in my bag.From his facial expression I could see that he was not happy.But my real reason was that I am trying to cut off from him emotionally cos I really love him and he knows it and I don't want anything around me that will be a reminder of him.cos I decided to be single physically and @ mind,I don't want a man as an Idol in my heart which may prevent me from meeting the right man for me,but I didn't tell him all these.
But,why I'm bothered is that I saw him yesterday and he acted cold towards me,avoids me and when he called yesterday to wish me happy birthday it was cold and he doesn't call me like before,I'm nt feeling bad or emotional,but I just wondered If I did the right thing,I am 29 and he is 32

brunnette4real:
I have been a silent observer on this thread and learnt a lot.
Although,I have issueS bothering me.I was in a relatinship with a guy (40yrs)for 6 months with marital plans involved,he introduced me to his family and also went with me to my church for marriage counselling,but I left him in dec.cos he had xter problems,he nags a lot,very suspicious always checking my phones,and talks anyhow like( me forcing him to marry him ,he is not convinced about marriage,and other things I can't mention here),I didn't see myself enjoying marriage with him so I left.
Also,there is this guy that has been a friend to me infact like a brother,even when I was courting my ex,and he knows alll about my relationship,recently we started dating ,so I asked him who am I to him and where the relationship is leading to ,he Said I'm an intimate friend,he is not yet convinced I'm his wife,he is serious about me but I shouldn't take him serious and he wants to get married but need to sort out finances first before marriage and he prays for me to be his wife cos he loves me and see qualities in me,but if God says I'm not his so be it,and if someone that is ready to marry me comes along I should pray and make my choice.
So I told him I want to stop dating him since he said I Shouldn't take him serious, so we decided to be friends like we were before ,but with reduced communication and closeness.On sunday he gave me a phone as my birthday gift and I told him I don't want it,the reason I gave him was dat I don't want to use a big phone again since my samsung galaxy just got stolen in my office and If I will use a big phone it will always be in my bag.From his facial expression I could see that he was not happy.But my real reason was that I am trying to cut off from him emotionally cos I really love him and he knows it and I don't want anything around me that will be a reminder of him.cos I decided to be single physically and @ mind,I don't want a man as an Idol in my heart which may prevent me from meeting the right man for me,but I didn't tell him all these.
But,why I'm bothered is that I saw him yesterday and he acted cold towards me,avoids me and when he called yesterday to wish me happy birthday it was cold and he doesn't call me like before,I'm nt feeling bad or emotional,but I just wondered If I did the right thing,I am 29 and he is 32

thorpido:
This guy may want to settle but feels he may not be at the level he wants financially.You work and he works so i don't know why he may still feel limited financially.I think you should discuss with him to know what his financial goals are.
Are you satisfied with his character and other things?
He is trying to disconnect from you so you should expect him to be cold.You took the right decision since you want out too.It's good to move on if you don't see it working out.