I was so happy because the elections were round the corner. I wanted money. I had vowed within myself that if any political party don’t give me any money, I won’t vote for them. Na so I begin happy sake of say, I would be paid to vote by any political party. I had earlier been told that money flows, political parties share money during elections. So I was ready. I want to have my own share.

It was an unfortunate case for the Presidential election. It came and gone and nobody or political party bothered to give me money. Na sorry case for me. My hope was dashed. I had hoped and prayed that there should be sharing of money. But na lie. I waited and waited even after my accreditation. I waited till voting was closing in my ward and I was yet to vote. I was waiting for someone to say, “Oya come collect this small money to vote for this party.” Infact na me use my hand come dey ask if no one wan give money for me to hope. People laughed at me as if I was a clown. “You dey wait for money. You go wait tire,” one old woman said. I was glaring that I was just waiting my time waiting for who would buy my vote. And time was going and I had already done accreditation. Well, I managed to vote and left the place with a sad place. I been no wan vote ooo. Na because of money make me go dia.

I had vowed never to step my foot again in that polling unit or any other. Not until 2 days to the Governorship election, a friend of mine came to my place. He said he was just coming from his tailors shop and he told him that they are looking for 10 people to give N10,000 each to vote for his party. Chaiiiii, immediately I heard N10,000, na so my ears stand. “Where be dat,” I asked. My body was just shaking because I heard some people would be giving N10,000 just to vote. Who no like better thing, abi which hungry person no go jump up when they hear that kind of money. Me, I dey hungry gan. Infact I was so broke.

I told my friend that I was interested in it since it was the same ward. Na so my paddy carry me go dia ooo. When we got there, the tailor said I should show him my PVC in which I did. He said he needed more people. I told him that I have friends who registered in that same ward he was looking for. He I should help him get them. The first person that came to my mind was, emma. Na this kind thing emma dey like. To chop free N10k. I went and got 3 of friends in which emma was among. We all got the tailor’s place. He asked us to leave our PVCs with him and come back the election day. “Nooo,” emma screamed. “Oga no be so we wan do am nahhh,” I said. I can’t just submit my PVC when I have not seen the money he wants to give us. The tailor said we shouldn’t worry about anything, that he just want to hold the PVSs for the main time so he could show the people that would pay us. “So no be him wan even pay us,” I thought to myself. As if he was reading what was going on my mind, he took us to another small room inside his shop. He brought out two heavy Ghana must go sacks. He opened it the sacks , I saw that it was full of Naira notes. “Shey you see am, shey una see am. So don’t worry, there is money, we go settle una,” the tailor said. I was looking at the money inside the sacks with my mouth wide open as if I haven’t seen money all through my life. Thank God I didn’t faint just because I saw the money. Immediately I saw the money, I felt relieved. My 10k was so sure for me. Infact he even assured us that they may likely add some little money to the N10,000 that would be giving to us, I and my friends gave the tailor our PVCs before leaving. I came there hungry, with an empty stomach. Infact looking at the money, I don even belle full. Hunger no catch me again just because of say I don see money, I don get assurance.

As we were heading home rejoicing, how we would make N10,000 just by just voting. I began thinking. I began thinking of how I would spend my money. There is this face cap I often see my friend wear, I loved it and I want to get a lookalike. I was budgeting the N10,000 for some clothes, shoe and some other stuffs, hopping it would be enough.

As time went on, all I was thinking was the N10,000 that would be given to me. If I sleep, I would always dream of something relating to N10,000. At a time I became worried because I started seeing ghosts, dead people giving me money inside my dreams. Infact, in one of the dream, a mad woman was chasing me, at a time she caught up with me, dipped her hand inside the filthy cellophane bag she was carrying, brought out some Naira notes and gave me. By the time I start seeing mad people inside my dreams, then something is wrong.

The election day came, I didn’t even bother to wait for my friends. As early as 7am, I rushed to the tailor’s shop to wait for him as we were told to do. Na so I wait for tailor till other friends came to join me. We waited till 11am still the tailor didn’t show up. I had to call the guy that introduced us to him to give us the address to his house which was not too far from his shop. We got to the place and met so many people in the compound eating. I guessed they were having a party. Omo see food. When we met with the tailor, he said we should seat down and eat first. At first we were not comfortable with the hospitality, because it was unusual. Na money be my own. Well, Na so me tanda for one chair and they brought a plate of rice with two chicken laps to me. Na so I look this food shah. So many thoughts were running on my mind.

‘Hope I won’t eat the food and after eating, we fall asleep and may be kidnapped and used for money rituals. Or this people would just make us sleep and run away with our money. Or maybe we eat and leave there for accreditation and after voting we ate the food that had been hypnotized, we won’t be able to come back to collect our money. We would just forget it.’ All that were many and more thoughts on my mid. I was not ready to leave out anything. Na my N10k dey my mind.

I dropped the food on the floor and told the other guys I was not eating. They laughed at me and asked why I was afraid. I told them I don’t trust the tailor and his people. They laughed at me as they ate. I was terribly hungry. The food dey my eye sef. Looking at the chicken laps that was well garnished and fried, chaiii, it was tempting. But I still no wan chop. I was feeling suspicious. After eating their own, they shared my own and ate. I was feeling bitter say I no chop the food ooo. After my friends had finished eating, we went to meet the tailor and he gave us our PVC’s and ask we go for accreditation, vote and come with the prove that we voted for his party; then we come back and collect our money. Me, I no gree ooo. I told him while not give us the money and trust us that we would vote for his party. “You never work and you want make we just pay you like that?” the tailor said. He rather said we shouldn’t worry, that we should go and vote and come. Well, we left and went to do the accreditation and finally voted for his party and we snapped the ballot papers showing ourselves thumb printing for his party. Na so we go back to the tailor house that evening to collect our N10k. I was happy that at least N1ok was sure. When we got there, the whole compound was empty. Chaii, na so my heart begin to dey beat. Hope this tailor no wan play rough play with us. We tried calling the tailor’s number but it was switched off. We waited till 8pm, still no one came in or out of the house. We went back home and came back the next day which was Sunday afternoon. We met the tailor. He said he has been told not to give out any money till the election results were announced. And if his party wins, our money would be given to us and if they losses, nothing for us. Immediately we heard that, our countenance changed. That was not what we planned for. We became vexed at the tailor. We had not eating since the previous day they gave us food. It looked as if our lives depended on the N10,ooo they would be giving to each of us. We began threatening that we were not leaving the place until they give us the money. We even threatened to report the matter to the media and the police. As we were saying that, we heard laughter from inside the house. It was apparent that some people inside the house were laughing at us that we would be reporting the matter to the media. A man dressed in Agbada regalia came out from inside the house. “Look let me tell you small boys, if you like go to Jericho, you will not get shishi,” the man said in a hash tone. We began shouting and quarreling so that people around would hear and come to ask what was happening. We just wanted to cause a scene, to tell people that we had been defrauded by the politician crook.

As we were shouting at them, some few people came around to ask what was happening. We told them and they began laughing at us. “You better leave this place now or what happened to gbadeyan would happen to you, or even worse,” one of the women said to us. “We no dey go any were until dem give us our money,” I shouted. Before I knew what was happening, “twai,” a very hot and dirty slap landed on emma’s left cheek. Immediately emma was slapped, he fell down and started picking sands, putting them inside his mouth. The man in agbada slapped him and he fell down and started eating sand. Emma started eating sand oo. Na so I begin fear oo. I began wondering what was happening to my friend, Emma. People around started shouting and screaming. They began begging the man in agbada. It was apparent he used diabolical powers on emma. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to do or say. I was so scared. I don’t know if I rush the man, my own slap may send me to hospital bed or even coma.

I and other guys watched as emma ate sand, we were just moving backwards. “You see, you see, if I deal with you small boys, you will regret coming here,” the man said as people who knew what he did pleaded for him to release emma. He went to emma, used his left hand to hit his head. Immediately he did that, emma stood up and began asking what was wrong with him and what he was doing. I no fit even answer the question there. Before the man could say “Leave this compound,” we were already running like usain bolt out of the compound and never to return or have anything to do with them, including the tailor. When I was telling a friend who knew the tailor and what we encounted at his place, he said emma was verylucky. That the man in that agbada who also is a strong politician slapped a guy called gbadeyan earlier that day. After the slap, gbadeyan went and started eating feaces. Apparently, he slap gbadeyan and the guy start to dey chop shit. Na beg people come beg wey he free gbadeyan.

I and my friends, we don learn our lesson.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/997-how-we-were-promised-n10-000-each-just-to-vote-for-a-party-at-the-last-election

You are a good story teller. You caught my attention and did not free me until the end

Hilarious story

nice story.
And i hope you've learnt your lessons

my brothers and sisters.. any were dem dey talk of promising money for votes by politicians, na race i dey run oooo... unless na seun or lalasticlacla promise me money ..

Looking for shortcuts to make money often leads people into bondage and even worse loss of life

You are madt man . Your madtness is maddtening you

long story

Op sef be thief u wan collect 10k just like dat when INEC adhoc staff that worked their ass off like baboon were not paid up to dat, d thing wey pain me be say the man no wire u slap for you to really learn your lesson.

Ok

nice writeup

Epistle according to Onismate.

Rubbish

What type of topics reach FP without moderation

So 4 of you entered a "small room" with only one "tailor". Then that "tailor" shows you guys "ghana must go" filled with cash and you couldn't rob him..



For someone that's dying to have 10K you're a f:uul.

This is both sad and funny. Eating sand? Does your friend have mental issues?

onismate:
I was so happy because the elections were round the corner. I wanted money. I had vowed within myself that if any political party don’t give me any money, I won’t vote for them. Na so I begin happy sake of say, I would be paid to vote by any political party. I had earlier been told that money flows, political parties share money during elections. So I was ready. I want to have my own share.

It was an unfortunate case for the Presidential election. It came and gone and nobody or political party bothered to give me money. Na sorry case for me. My hope was dashed. I had hoped and prayed that there should be sharing of money. But na lie. I waited and waited even after my accreditation. I waited till voting was closing in my ward and I was yet to vote. I was waiting for someone to say, “Oya come collect this small money to vote for this party.” Infact na me use my hand come dey ask if no one wan give money for me to hope. People laughed at me as if I was a clown. “You dey wait for money. You go wait tire,” one old woman said. I was glaring that I was just waiting my time waiting for who would buy my vote. And time was going and I had already done accreditation. Well, I managed to vote and left the place with a sad place. I been no wan vote ooo. Na because of money make me go dia.

I had vowed never to step my foot again in that polling unit or any other. Not until 2 days to the Governorship election, a friend of mine came to my place. He said he was just coming from his tailors shop and he told him that they are looking for 10 people to give N10,000 each to vote for his party. Chaiiiii, immediately I heard N10,000, na so my ears stand. “Where be dat,” I asked. My body was just shaking because I heard some people would be giving N10,000 just to vote. Who no like better thing, abi which hungry person no go jump up when they hear that kind of money. Me, I dey hungry gan. Infact I was so broke.

I told my friend that I was interested in it since it was the same ward. Na so my paddy carry me go dia ooo. When we got there, the tailor said I should show him my PVC in which I did. He said he needed more people. I told him that I have friends who registered in that same ward he was looking for. He I should help him get them. The first person that came to my mind was, emma. Na this kind thing emma dey like. To chop free N10k. I went and got 3 of friends in which emma was among. We all got the tailor’s place. He asked us to leave our PVCs with him and come back the election day. “Nooo,” emma screamed. “Oga no be so we wan do am nahhh,” I said. I can’t just submit my PVC when I have not seen the money he wants to give us. The tailor said we shouldn’t worry about anything, that he just want to hold the PVSs for the main time so he could show the people that would pay us. “So no be him wan even pay us,” I thought to myself. As if he was reading what was going on my mind, he took us to another small room inside his shop. He brought out two heavy Ghana must go sacks. He opened it the sacks , I saw that it was full of Naira notes. “Shey you see am, shey una see am. So don’t worry, there is money, we go settle una,” the tailor said. I was looking at the money inside the sacks with my mouth wide open as if I haven’t seen money all through my life. Thank God I didn’t faint just because I saw the money. Immediately I saw the money, I felt relieved. My 10k was so sure for me. Infact he even assured us that they may likely add some little money to the N10,000 that would be giving to us, I and my friends gave the tailor our PVCs before leaving. I came there hungry, with an empty stomach. Infact looking at the money, I don even belle full. Hunger no catch me again just because of say I don see money, I don get assurance.

As we were heading home rejoicing, how we would make N10,000 just by just voting. I began thinking. I began thinking of how I would spend my money. There is this face cap I often see my friend wear, I loved it and I want to get a lookalike. I was budgeting the N10,000 for some clothes, shoe and some other stuffs, hopping it would be enough.

As time went on, all I was thinking was the N10,000 that would be given to me. If I sleep, I would always dream of something relating to N10,000. At a time I became worried because I started seeing ghosts, dead people giving me money inside my dreams. Infact, in one of the dream, a mad woman was chasing me, at a time she caught up with me, dipped her hand inside the filthy cellophane bag she was carrying, brought out some Naira notes and gave me. By the time I start seeing mad people inside my dreams, then something is wrong.

The election day came, I didn’t even bother to wait for my friends. As early as 7am, I rushed to the tailor’s shop to wait for him as we were told to do. Na so I wait for tailor till other friends came to join me. We waited till 11am still the tailor didn’t show up. I had to call the guy that introduced us to him to give us the address to his house which was not too far from his shop. We got to the place and met so many people in the compound eating. I guessed they were having a party. Omo see food. When we met with the tailor, he said we should seat down and eat first. At first we were not comfortable with the hospitality, because it was unusual. Na money be my own. Well, Na so me tanda for one chair and they brought a plate of rice with two chicken laps to me. Na so I look this food shah. So many thoughts were running on my mind.

‘Hope I won’t eat the food and after eating, we fall asleep and may be kidnapped and used for money rituals. Or this people would just make us sleep and run away with our money. Or maybe we eat and leave there for accreditation and after voting we ate the food that had been hypnotized, we won’t be able to come back to collect our money. We would just forget it.’ All that were many and more thoughts on my mid. I was not ready to leave out anything. Na my N10k dey my mind.

I dropped the food on the floor and told the other guys I was not eating. They laughed at me and asked why I was afraid. I told them I don’t trust the tailor and his people. They laughed at me as they ate. I was terribly hungry. The food dey my eye sef. Looking at the chicken laps that was well garnished and fried, chaiii, it was tempting. But I still no wan chop. I was feeling suspicious. After eating their own, they shared my own and ate. I was feeling bitter say I no chop the food ooo. After my friends had finished eating, we went to meet the tailor and he gave us our PVC’s and ask we go for accreditation, vote and come with the prove that we voted for his party; then we come back and collect our money. Me, I no gree ooo. I told him while not give us the money and trust us that we would vote for his party. “You never work and you want make we just pay you like that?” the tailor said. He rather said we shouldn’t worry, that we should go and vote and come. Well, we left and went to do the accreditation and finally voted for his party and we snapped the ballot papers showing ourselves thumb printing for his party. Na so we go back to the tailor house that evening to collect our N10k. I was happy that at least N1ok was sure. When we got there, the whole compound was empty. Chaii, na so my heart begin to dey beat. Hope this tailor no wan play rough play with us. We tried calling the tailor’s number but it was switched off. We waited till 8pm, still no one came in or out of the house. We went back home and came back the next day which was Sunday afternoon. We met the tailor. He said he has been told not to give out any money till the election results were announced. And if his party wins, our money would be given to us and if they losses, nothing for us. Immediately we heard that, our countenance changed. That was not what we planned for. We became vexed at the tailor. We had not eating since the previous day they gave us food. It looked as if our lives depended on the N10,ooo they would be giving to each of us. We began threatening that we were not leaving the place until they give us the money. We even threatened to report the matter to the media and the police. As we were saying that, we heard laughter from inside the house. It was apparent that some people inside the house were laughing at us that we would be reporting the matter to the media. A man dressed in Agbada regalia came out from inside the house. “Look let me tell you small boys, if you like go to Jericho, you will not get shishi,” the man said in a hash tone. We began shouting and quarreling so that people around would hear and come to ask what was happening. We just wanted to cause a scene, to tell people that we had been defrauded by the politician crook.

As we were shouting at them, some few people came around to ask what was happening. We told them and they began laughing at us. “You better leave this place now or what happened to gbadeyan would happen to you, or even worse,” one of the women said to us. “We no dey go any were until dem give us our money,” I shouted. Before I knew what was happening, “twai,” a very hot and dirty slap landed on emma’s left cheek. Immediately emma was slapped, he fell down and started picking sands, putting them inside his mouth. The man in agbada slapped him and he fell down and started eating sand. Emma started eating sand oo. Na so I begin fear oo. I began wondering what was happening to my friend, Emma. People around started shouting and screaming. They began begging the man in agbada. It was apparent he used diabolical powers on emma. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to do or say. I was so scared. I don’t know if I rush the man, my own slap may send me to hospital bed or even coma.

I and other guys watched as emma ate sand, we were just moving backwards. “You see, you see, if I deal with you small boys, you will regret coming here,” the man said as people who knew what he did pleaded for him to release emma. He went to emma, used his left hand to hit his head. Immediately he did that, emma stood up and began asking what was wrong with him and what he was doing. I no fit even answer the question there. Before the man could say “Leave this compound,” we were already running like usain bolt out of the compound and never to return or have anything to do with them, including the tailor. When I was telling a friend who knew the tailor and what we encounted at his place, he said emma was verylucky. That the man in that agbada who also is a strong politician slapped a guy called gbadeyan earlier that day. After the slap, gbadeyan went and started eating feaces. Apparently, he slap gbadeyan and the guy start to dey chop shit. Na beg people come beg wey he free gbadeyan.

I and my friends, we don learn our lesson.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/997-how-we-were-promised-n10-000-each-just-to-vote-for-a-party-at-the-last-election

see story


even national dailies dey beg to publish am

A

Hmm

Not impressed.


























Meanwhile Read how I got into a girls friend zone.
www.nairaland.com/2273221/how-got-into-friendzone

This is hilarious.... Thank your stars you weren't Gbadeyan.

Business Development Managers needed Nationwide. Details at Job/Vacancy Board via the link below

https://www.nairaland.com/1946286/sales-representatives-needed

.

Nigerian politicians r only interestd on whom to use

Only a jobless person will read through this long tale. @OP, I'm sorry but I ain't jobless so...

Na who wan read this epistle

.