kaboninc:


If she desist, I can continue to live with her. If it becomes too bad, I'll forgive her but may not continue with the marriage.

In fact, I can divorce her and remarry her. Its funny you may say. But I tell you, the surprises in life are just so amazing. Even my brother, I can even get tired of hating him.

Why? Because tomorrow, my brother can end up being an incredible and responsible father and dad to both his wife and kids. I'll die in pains. And my wife can even remarry and find happiness. So why carry so much pain for life?

Let me tell you, you'd be marvelled at what married couples go through should they tell you. That's why they say do not jump into conclusion.

it is very easy to say what you will do in a hypothetical "if" case scenario, until you are actually in the shoes

freecocoa:
I know how hard it is but believe me, there's no point with staying with a man like the OP's hubby, I mean, just where do you start from? The fact that some people think things can be normal again after something like this beats me, I know that I can never look at a man like this the same, same goes for the sister.

I guess people just love the idea of being a Mrs, more than they love themselves, it's a pity.

Can you imagine your husband naked in bed with your own sister pumping away
Maybe comparing your performance with hers and how he prefers her 19 year old body with that of your barren sister's
Oh,you think there were no such talks to pump up the volume
And all of a sudden,all will be alright because the marriage must go on
Don't people understand that God is not in every marriage,it's not every marriage that is ordained by God
But they keep calling him when a man screws up,that's when they remember its for better or worse
He gets the better and she gets the worse abi ?

I will forgive and reconcile with my own sister with time if she becomes remorseful but the man is gone
There is nothing to salvage with him,there is even no child between us
Let her find a man who can impregnate a woman jor
This one is useless

OmoAlata1:


it is very easy to say what you will do in a hypothetical "if" case scenario, until you are actually in the shoes

Because you don't know what I've been through.

My own advice is very short

When people say in all things give thanks to God. When God denied you a child for this guy now you would think he was a wicked God.

Imagine you having a child for him

My own, this marriage is over. Good thing you dont even have anything tying you together. You dont even need more evidence than this especially with your own SISTER? Maybe in 20yrs time it would be with your daughter. Of 100m women in Nigeria na your sister he see

If he likes let him marry your sister

Abeg move away from that area and vicinity start a new life. You were never married.

God thing you have a job too. If you continue one day you eye would see real evil

coogar:


the difference is obvious....
everyone knows it's not the same. if your hubby impregnates a woman outside marriage. you cannot been deceived that you are the mother of that baby.

if you get impregnated by a man outside marriage - you will have to lie to your hubby that the baby belongs to him. that's the difference!

you did not answer my question. you said cheating for a man is different than for a woman. my question is in reference to that statement

kaboninc:


So you're single then?

are you trying to stylishly toast me?

kaboninc:


Because you don't know what I've been through.

are you stating you were in situation where your wife has gone to go test drive your brother's sperm count?

raumdeuter:
My own advice is very short

When people say in all things give thanks to God. When God denied you a child for this guy now you would think he was a wicked God.

Imagine you having a child for him

My own, this marriage is over. Good thing you dont even have anything tying you together. You dont even need more evidence than this especially with your own SISTER? Maybe in 20yrs time it would be with your daughter. Of 100m women in Nigeria na your sister he see

If he likes let him marry your sister

Abeg move away from that area and vicinity start a new life. You were never married.

God thing you have a job too. If you continue one day you eye would see real evil

You see why I refuse to give up on nigerian men
There are some very reasonable ones who value and respect women

my husband: is better I do it with you,than
doing it with an asider. what's wrong if you
have a child for your sister?


this part says it all. the guy is on a perilous time. this is the time of confusion when one never think straight and can fall to any temptation of the mind.


I have feeling ...... ..... ... keep quite. ok well this your marriage you need to pray. because that guy is ready to do anything to get a child. and will dump you if anyone can give him a child at this time.

OmoAlata1:

you did not answer my question. you said cheating for a man is different than for a woman. my question is in reference to that statement

i have given you the difference.
what's the most likely thing that would happen to a cheating wife? is it not that she would get pregnant & claim her hubby is the father?

babyosisi:


Can you imagine your husband naked in bed with your own sister pumping away
Maybe comparing your performance with hers and how he prefers your 19 year old body with that of your barren sister's
And all of a sudden,all will be alright because the marriage must go on
Don't people understand that God is not in every marriage,it's not every marriage that is ordained by God
But they keep calling him when a man screws up,that's when they remember its for better or worse
He gets the better and she gets the worse abi ?

I will forgive and reconcile with my own sister with time if she becomes remorseful but the man is gone
There is nothing to salvage with him,there is even no child between us
Let her find a man who can impregnate a woman jor
This one is useless

I can't even try to understand their mindset, like you've said, they definitely must talk about her and the 'childlessness' probably blaming it all on her.

Seriously though, I don't know if I could ever be close to such a sister, forgive, I might with time, I just won't be able to forget.

The man is beyond useless, the sister can even be excused on the grounds of being young and impressionable, just what excuse does this man have? Yea yea, he wants a child, why did it have to be her sister? If he could do it with the girl, he's doing it with so many others, tufiakwa, i'm disgusted.

smsshola:
I doubt d originality of this story...Well while I will not support d man and her sis act..cos ds act is a punishable offence but d op shu learn hw to forgive and forget.

My first advice wl b to the op herself,hw ar wl sure u ar playing ur role as d wife?While ds may not b enof rson fo ur hubby to sleep wt ur sis but I felt there is also the need fo u to examine ursef and c whr u av short coming nd correct it.

secondly I wl advice u to go home behave as if u av not seen anything,act well to ur hubby and start d trap journey its not going to b easy but I think u need more evidence I mean d physical one not jus d fone and whatsapp stuff. Set a trap fo them and c if they wl fall fo it...u may decide to announce a trip from ur office fo two days to a near by state; as u ar telling dem ds watch d rxn on their faces.

Or u can decide to come home any of d afternoon if ur hubby is d type dt eat at home.

if u making a journey make sure u av d spare keys to all d doors in ur home.

Though I agree with you 95%, I have a better method let her take both the husband and the sister, give them viagra overdose, nakeedd them and lock them in the same room. EVen you fit supply them with pornn sef (Its all part of the trap setting) and monitor them

If they Bleep only 7 times or less over the weekend, then they are not cheating and can be forgiven, But if its over 12 times then its cheating and she needs to praay fast for them and even pay for a sex rehab for them and later continue the marriage

OmoAlata1:

are you trying to stylishly toast me?

You've being using questions to reply me.
That's just so unfair.
As per your last question, am not married.

I did think of this but didn't want to say it to avoid hurting her feelings in case the ttc thing is an emotional topic for her.
Or in case she wasn't considering divorcing him.

I agree the no child thing can be seen from this perspective as a blessing because it removes complications from her life should she decide to leave.

raumdeuter:
My own advice is very short

When people say in all things give thanks to God. When God denied you a child for this guy now you would think he was a wicked God.

Imagine you having a child for him

My own, this marriage is over. Good thing you dont even have anything tying you together. You dont even need more evidence than this especially with your own SISTER? Maybe in 20yrs time it would be with your daughter. Of 100m women in Nigeria na your sister he see

If he likes let him marry your sister

Abeg move away from that area and vicinity start a new life. You were never married.

God thing you have a job too. If you continue one day you eye would see real evil

What concluded the case for me was not the act but whom he chose. The SISTER. If it was another person entirely, a colleague, a random person, a neighbour etc we might start talking of forgiveness but the wife sister. maybe the mom should also get ready and the other sisters too

raumdeuter:
What concluded the case for me was not the act but whom he chose. The SISTER. If it was another person entirely, a colleague, a random person, a neighbour etc we might start talking of forgiveness but the wife sister. maybe the mom should also get ready and the other sisters too

she chose him....
what are you talking about? the sister is the one with a promiscuity history - the man has never been caught or ever been suspected to have cheated. the man is as much as the victim as the OP.

Joel3:
my husband: is better I do it with you,than
doing it with an asider. what's wrong if you
have a child for your sister?


this part says it all. the guy is one a perilous time. this is the time of confusion when one never think straight and can fall to any temptation of the mind.


I have feeling ...... ..... ... keep quite. ok well this your marriage you need to pray. because that guy is ready to do anything to get a child. and will dump you if anyone can give him a child at this time.

...pray over what? Please, expantiate

Nairaland never disappoints
Stewwpid comments

cococandy:
I did think of this but didn't want to say it to avoid hurting her feelings in case the ttc thing is an emotional topic for her.
Or in case she wasn't considering divorcing him.

I agree the no child thing can be seen from this perspective as a blessing because it removes complications from her life should she decide to leave.

Nne,u sabi the koko.
I wouldn't dare be hard on her cos ttc alone is draining. And with this,she will be thinking had she had a child...etc.
I wasn't hard on the husband too cos I don't know if the problem was from madam.

U see,she has a lot to swallow.

Decisions taken always at d spur of the moment mostly backfires.

But I wouldn't crucify her. She don't need that now.


@madam op, pls if u can,go and stay with a friend. I suggested separation first then others will follow.
All the best.

As for those angry with her, pls tone it down.
Ttc can make one kolo,then add infidelity and with one's sister.
She be only one person o. Make she no go kill herself or do something terrible.
It's well madam.

chimkaire:
...pray over what? Please, expantiate

I have ask for her left palm but she did not. what more can i say.

pray to have a child for him.

Westendel:
my name is chinonso.I have been married for 5yrs with out children. I'm a regular poster in TTC health section. I decided to change a new moniker so I can pour out my heart here without being discovered.

my fellow Nairalanders I feel like dying, the ache in my heart is too deep,don't know how I made it last night to this morning. I know am rambling but I just want to let it out .so I can get meaning opinions and.

I just find out my husband of 5yrs is sleeping with my younger sister.how do I handle this incestful abomination.
l want to stop here my hand is shaking

Wow, this is heavy. I feel your pain OP. First, your sis has to leave the house. Don't blow it out of proportion, calm yourself down in all possible ways. Sit your sister down and talk to her to get a clue how they got that far and check if she is pregnant by making sure you run a test. I don't know if you can forgive your husband or not, but you have to talk to him as well. You have to be strong at this trial times

this might share you up and make you strong.
a thread I created for lecture

click to follow the thread.

Joel3:


One of the most controversial debate in history is the word destiny. thousands of years ago many scholars had debated the issue of destiny. If really there is one and if it can be change.

No doubt there had been countless of theories that destiny can be change while others rebuff the idea that it can be change.

Well within my spiritual chakra both parties are right. That means if you are of the opinion that it cannot be change you are right, and if you are of the opinion that it can be change then you are right as well.

Reasons is that destiny is a journey to a destination and its has been mapped to take place in our future and that will happen on our way. and in this event there are three type of it.

1, One of them is the most important event, this event is a must and its the only road or link that connect to the other road or path to our future unlike some of the road that has many links or shortcut where one has to decide which to follow it might also be known as free will. Sometimes there is free will and sometimes there is no free will.

But for this particular road where there is no other link which is the must destiny and one had to pass it by force this is mainly a decision by God. This type of event prayer can not change it. its only God that can change this. But other power can altered it and not mainly to change it.

This changing has its consequences. It also effect the universe. To change ones destiny will affect others destiny, it can affect a society or a nation.

Example is if one had to stay without a job for 5 years which is part of the destiny and because of inpatient one then seek help from some source to change it. The truth is that it cannot really be change what can happen is that they can only altered it to push it forward. Further example is without a job from 2015 to 2020 but because it was altered it will then moved to other date like 2017 to 2023 or even more. That five years most surely come to pass. This type of act if it's possible it can be pushed to children. Some parent pushed their suffering destiny to their next generation. But not forgetting that they are limit to every thing that can be moved forward.

Another example. Pharaoh of Egypt delayed the release of the Israelites but was he able to change it? The answer is no.

2, Next is the not so important destiny, although its part of our destiny but it's not a must. This type of event can be changed or altered but only beings that operate in higher realm can do that. The saint most likely will not change or rewrite this kind of destiny especially for that of material value. Because of their spiritual knowledge and richness in God they do not see the need for earthly valuable.

The not so important destiny, the enemy or our prayer can change it sometimes. And Its more harder if its mainly for material value. It will take a lot of hard work. The example is like 50-50%. Maybe 50% says yes it will happen and 50% says no it will not happen, or 60% says yes and 40% says no.

The higher the percentage on one side the likely it happens to that side. Otherwise it will take a lot of powers to change from 70% No & 30% Yes to a Yes.

To be continue.

Tired for now.

Hmmmm...........some of the things I'm reading here.
I believe the op knows what to do now.She should move and stay on her own,maybe with a friend for now.
Forgiveness is a good thing but when your husband is sleeping with your own sister and not just the sex but the intention........trying to make a baby with your own sister?

Abeg,that marriage is dead.

Mmmm... See comments.. OP do the needful, follow ur heart. U said He has started apologising ba?! Has he accepted his fault I still stand on my opinion.

By the way, are u also faultless in ur home? That is another thing to consider. Have u being acting as a good wife cos all u painted here is sign of perfection which we all know its false. Looking it at another angle cos I dont believe a man will purposely want to cheat on his wife though pressure could set in. Abeg all dis divorce divorce crew should just get their acts together.
Thats all I gotta say.

Westendel:
@babyosisi, I didn't ask my sis for her own version of d thruth,because .1. my sister is not living with me,second I can't bear sitting with her and discuss did issue for I now hate her.so I had to ask mum to do DAT for me.
Mum asked and threating her DAT she will swear with juju if she didn't say d truth.and she said she is ready to swear with any idol to prove her innocence.
This morning, Mum and Dad together with my sister left Umuahia my home town to PH where I reside for d meeting.

To those of you saying I called for a meeting, a wife does not have any right to call for a meeting in dis grievous issue,DAT is why my dad has to call and invite my in laws for a family meeting in my house.

When my sis was asked if she did it ,dis morning ,she said and I Quote,may I die bfor my 22nd birthday if indeed I slept with Aunty's husband.

Right now I have decided to go on a temporarily separation after which I will decide to divorce or continue with d marriage.

Hubby have been sending people to beg.
none of the two families agreed on divorce. one of them even quoted a Bible reference thatJacob married Two sisters and that d 12 tribe s of Is real came out of Racheal and Leah's loins. is very pathetic and terrible the way our people reason.

Was it your family, his family or both that does not see anything wrong in you (Racheal) and your sister(Leah) wrong in marrying thesame man? Like seriously, is that the person(s) you wanted to or will listen to for a way forward?

In another note, i think your husband is responsible for your childlessness. He has been sleeping with her since age 14 (possibly others too) yet no result. With the way whoever made the jacob statement is supporting your sis, she may not only be willing to marry him, she may also give another man's pregnancy to your desperate husband.

Why all this? why derail this thread. I only seek for your advice not you people attacking one another with your unnecessary argument.

To everyone here,post your comments and stop imposing your opinions on others.
stop this e-war. no matter how anyone proposes his or her advices to me,it is what is on mind that I will do.so stop killing or giving yourselves headaches.
I might decided to forgive and continue with him or divorce him kia kia. what ever rocks my boat.

well, well,the purpose of this thread has been achieved, time to deactivate and continue with my original moniker.

Thank you all,family nairalanders. creating this thread was therauptic ,it helped eased the pains and hurt .Can't thank you guys enough .

off to TTC health section, with my original moniker. the beauty of nairaland!

once again thank you all ,am most grateful

@phema,thanks for that wonderful prayer.it came at the right time.thanks

Westendel:
Why all this? why derail this thread. I only seek for your advice not you people attacking one another with your unnecessary argument.

To everyone here,post your comments and stop imposing your opinions on others.
stop this e-war. no matter how anyone proposes his or her advices to me,it is what is on mind that I will do.so stop killing or giving yourselves headaches.
I might decided to forgive and continue with him or divorce him kia kia. what ever rocks my boat.

well, well,the purpose of this thread has been achieved, time to deactivate and continue with my original moniker.

Thank you all,family nairalanders. creating this thread was therauptic ,it helped eased the pains and hurt .Can't thank you guys enough .

off to TTC health section, with my original moniker. the beauty of nairaland!

once again thank you all ,am most grateful

@phema,thanks for that wonderful prayer.it came at the right time.thanks

Looks like you have already healed this one you don turn into moderator and counselor of threads
God indeed works in mysterious ways
To nu jah

Thread closed

babyosisi:


Looks like you have already healed this one you don turn into moderator and counselor of threads
God indeed works in mysterious ways
To nu jah

Thread closed

Babyosisi, dream no be am o!
Na so I dey dream u and dayokanu(so dayo is now reudemeter,hope I got it)dey fight seriously for a thread u just created.
I read all the posts.
U two just no wan gree.
I just woke up looking for the said thread

Which kain dream be this one na
Instead of me to dream about cool dollars and pounds na fight.
Abeg I don go back to sleep.

Westendel:
Why all this? why derail this thread. I only seek for your advice not you people attacking one another with your unnecessary argument.

To everyone here,post your comments and stop imposing your opinions on others.
stop this e-war. no matter how anyone proposes his or her advices to me,it is what is on mind that I will do.so stop killing or giving yourselves headaches.
I might decided to forgive and continue with him or divorce him kia kia. what ever rocks my boat.

well, well,the purpose of this thread has been achieved, time to deactivate and continue with my original moniker.

Thank you all,family nairalanders. creating this thread was therauptic ,it helped eased the pains and hurt .Can't thank you guys enough .

off to TTC health section, with my original moniker. the beauty of nairaland!

once again thank you all ,am most grateful

@phema,thanks for that wonderful prayer.it came at the right time.thanks

I am a married man, so I guess that I can relate more to a man wanting to cheat (not that I have or ever will). But forgive your husband who is/was sleeping with your younger sister? I will never understand that. Oh well, what do I know. You probably deserve each other.

deadie:


I am a married man, so I guess that I can relate more to a man wanting to cheat (not that I have or ever will). But forgive your husband who is/was sleeping with your younger sister? I will never understand that. Oh well, what do I know. You probably deserve each other.

Is divorcing the man the only way forward? Remember is not always greener on the other side.

That why you see some women saying all men are wicked while some men will say am not always lucky with good women because they r always looking for a perfect person

Every little or difficult situation they jump ship

mrsmith11:



Is divorcing the man the only way forward? Remember is not always greener on the other side.

That why you see some women saying all men are wicked while some men will say am not always lucky with good women because they r always looking for a perfect person

Every little or difficult situation they jump ship

Every little or difficult situation they jump ship? Are you serious? I do not understand your mentality.

If your partner can go as low as sleeping with your own sister, how can you rewire your brain to still love and share the same bed with that person? Well as I earlier wrote, what do I know. If people marry for the sake of money, convenience and material things, then this situation probably falls under your category of "little or difficult situation" that doesn't warrant "jumping ship". But if the foundation of your marriage is love and trust, then this act is a tsunami which has completely washed away that very foundation of marriage.

lofty900:
ur sis is just taking advantage of ur predicament, ignore ur hubby, the real culprit is ur sis.

Are you crazy?