I don't understand what is going on in my house. Any little thing that happens between my mum and Dad she will call us (the children) and start telling us what happened but always putting the blame on my Father.

She has never explained anything and made it look like it was her fault. She is trying to paint a bad picture of our father in our eyes.

This has been going on right from when I was little but as I grew older I began to see things in a different light.

Anytime my mum brings up an issue concerning she and my Dad I try to look at things differently and see things in the other way before concluding. If I tell her what I feel and it's not in line with what she said,she'll get angry with me.

The latest was the one that happened recently. My mum was planning to go to her home town to see her family and so she needed some money from my dad to add to what she had already so she could buy some food stuff on her way. It is good to note that my mum had already travelled Last year during the Christmas celebration to see her people and my Dad gave her the money for everything she bought.

My mum works and gets paid too but she didn't use any of her money to buy those things last year. My Dad footed the bills. Now she wanted to travel again this year and My Dad refused to let her go because we just moved into our new house and there are some things which have to be bought and fixed in the house.

My Dad told her that if she wants to go it's her choice but he wouldn't give her any money as he has got some other pressing needs at the moment. My mum got angry about this and she told us.

I saw things from my father's point of view and tried to explain to her why it happened so but she got angry. She said I must always support him and that i'm not acting like "a son she gave birth to"

She has not talked to my Dad since then and anytime I greet her,she ignores me. I have two sisters,an elder and a younger one and i'm the only boy. My sister is at the ripe age of getting married but she is also supporting my mother in this,sadly.

My father doesn't seem to be bothered much though as he still goes about his normal activity but this problem is really troubling my mind and I really wish there could be an end to it.

Do mothers have to unnecessarily incite children against their fathers?

Is that why grown up children tend to cater for their mothers more and forgetting the struggle of their fathers even while they are still alive?

Matured advise please.

Tell her point blank what she is doing is worng and make it clear to her that she will not succeed.

Wao,men de suffer

Sorry u find urself in such situation, i will advice u invite ur mum out to maybe a nice restaurant for a drink and chat if u can afford it just to make her look special and try to find out d circumstances surrounding most of such decisions, it could be a past feeling of hurt or she never loved your father even though there married, such things happens. Try to make her talk and after let her know the consequences of her actions to the family, her decision doesn't only affect ur dad both the whole family, imagine ur sisters getting married and treating their husband in same manner, they might be send packing if such man cant tolerate like ur dad. Even your dads health is at risk here, he's not talking doesn't mean he's happy or less bothered. So man up and take charge to fix things now that you still can.

Above all, Ask God for wisdom so u can use the right words when addressing dis issues. Gud luck

Manipulation and blackmail has always been the weapon of some women

Hahahahah she's putting you on a guilt trip don't fall for it




I do that a lot for my baby brother to have my way when he's proving I'm a man bull sh




if she wants to start again invite your dad to into the matter and settle it amicably. You will see she will stop bad mouthing your dad





but if you have the money you can give her though. I see your dad is right

fromnigeria:
Tell her point blank what she is doing is worng and make it clear to her that she will not succeed.

I've tried my best to explain to her the best way I can. She's my mother and I can't be rude to her.

sunnydayasaba:
Sorry u find urself in such situation, i will advice u invite ur mum out to maybe a nice restaurant for a drink and chat if u can afford it just to make her look special and try to find out d circumstances surrounding most of such decisions, it could be a past feeling of hurt or she never loved your father even though there married, such things happens. Try to make her talk and after let her know the consequences of her actions to the family, her decision doesn't only affect ur dad both the whole family, imagine ur sisters getting married and treating their husband in same manner, they might be send packing if such man cant tolerate like ur dad. Even your dads health is at risk here, he's not talking doesn't mean he's happy or less bothered. So man up and take charge to fix things now that you still can.

Above all, Ask God for wisdom so u can use the right words when addressing dis issues. Gud luck

Thanks so much for this. I never really thought of some of the things you said. Thank you.

raumdeuter:
Manipulation and blackmail has always been the weapon of some women

It's just sad bro

wat exactly is your issue

marque

SAMBARRY:
Hahahahah she's putting you on a guilt trip don't fall for it




I do that a lot for my baby brother to have my way when he's proving I'm a man bull sh




if she wants to start again invite your dad to into the matter and settle it amicably. You will see she will stop bad mouthing your dad





but if you have the money you can give her though. I see your dad is right

I've actually thought of telling my Dad about it but I felt it may make the problem bigger than it is. I don't want them to be acting like enemies in the house.

Am still a student and so I don't really have anything to contribute. My mum helps me with pocket money sometimes but I don't think she will even give me anything this time around and am to resume school soon.

pickabeau1:
wat exactly is your issue

marque

The way my mum bad mouths my dad in our presence just to make us have resentment for him is troubling. So I came here to share the problem and see if I can probably put an end to it.

tell your mum and dad to reconcile

In that case go and apologize to your mom and be supporting whatever she says so you can continue having pocket money. When you graduate and get a job then you can call her to order .For now you don't have the financial security to do that. So if she says your father is stoopeed you will say it's true. If she says he's mad you say exactly. Just be doing yes for everything she says for the while

marque:

I've actually thought of telling my Dad about it but I felt it may make the problem bigger than it is. I don't want them to be acting like enemies in the house.

Am still a student and so I don't really have anything to contribute. My mum helps me with pocket money sometimes but I don't think she will even give me anything this time around and am to resume school soon.

marque:

The way my mum bad mouths my dad in our presence just to make us have resentment for him is troubling. So I came here to share the problem and see if I can probably put an end to it.

The simple end is to tell her respectfully that you don't want to be dragged in between them
They are your parents and they should solve their marital problems themselves

When next she comes after this, tell her you have an engagement and leave the space

OP I feel your predicament, I have to be frank with you

your mummy and daddy did not start today, your dad must have mistreatmented her while you guys were still young and so she wants to take her own pound of flesh.

women are resilience in nature, may be for her to stay married she was taking your fathers flaws then, now she thinks that it's her own time to shine.

As I speak to you now, some women are in that situation, they are waiting for their children to grow so as to start acting

OR

she never loved your dad as someone has said earlier

MIND YOU ALL THIS ARE GUESS WORK.


SOLUTIONS

Take your time, ask her if she wants to destroy her family,

Ask her to forgive your dad

Detail to how you feel about the issue.

I WISH GOOD LUCK,

DON'T JOIN HAND WITH YOUR DAD, SEEK PEACE.

AS YOU DO THAT I PRAY GOD TO BLESS YOU.

AMEN

Woe unto men!

This is exactly what happens in most Nigerian homes. Mothers always turning children against their dads. .
Op, I must commend you for being sensible enough to respond to your mum the way you did.
Please don't ever let your mum turn you against your dad. The repercussions are always disastrous!

Keep being wise, boy!

Some mothers are just like that. It's like they are frustrated or angry about somethings and use that as a medium to belittle dad's in front of their kids. This is more reason why kids love their mothers more especially if they dnt reason in line with their daddy.
What I advice you do is turn deaf hears to her and make her understand that she can't turn you against your daddy, by the time she sees you are not interested in her talk she will cease talking to you about your dad.

pickabeau1:


The simple end is to tell her respectfully that you don't want to be dragged in between them
They are your parents and they should solve their marital problems themselves

When next she comes after this, tell her you have an engagement and leave the space

! Abcdef






I've deleted it. Never mind

Alright, just talk to God about it. He is the last resort.

marque:

I've tried my best to explain to her the best way I can. She's my mother and I can't be rude to her.

I'm growing to realize that mothers are not as "innocent" as I earlier thought and fathers are not always monster as most will have us believe. actually, fathers are they real unsung heroes.

SAMBARRY:
In that case go and apologize to your mom and be supporting whatever she says so you can continue having pocket money. When you graduate and get a job then you can call her to order .For now you don't have the financial security to do that. So if she says your father is stoopeed you will say it's true. If she says he's mad you say exactly. Just be doing yes for everything she says for the while

Lwkmd!!! Seriously
OP go along with pickabeau post

Lalasticlala can u put diz on home page please?

Cc lalasticlala
For varied and some more matured advice.

Op I think pickabeau advice is spot on! I am glad you are seeing through her chicanery. Most sons are easily deceived by their mothers but your Dad is lucky to have a son like you. If she calls you go to her meetings but at the end your contribution should always be that she should settle her issues with your Dad as she did not seek your consent before marrying him! Be gentle with her though and laugh off her fears. Also tell her that it is better to seek marital advice from older couples and maybe your church pastor that her kids. Tell her jokingly, which advice can you being kids give to her who is your mother.
In all be closer to your Dad. That man might have a heavy burden on his chest and without consolation may collapse one day.

dinachi:
Op I think pickabeau advice is spot on! I am glad you are seeing through her chicanery. Most sons are easily deceived by their mothers but your Dad is lucky to have a son like you. If she calls you go to her meetings but at the end your contribution should always be that she should settle her issues with your Dad as she did not seek your consent before marrying him! Be gentle with her though and laugh off her fears. Also tell her that it is better to seek marital advice from older couples and maybe your church pastor that her kids. Tell her jokingly, which advice can you being kids give to her who is your mother.
In all be closer to your Dad. That man might have a heavy burden on his chest and without consolation may collapse one day.

I support this

Strange

I don't think your mother is trying to turn you against your father...I think she is someone who finds it difficult to accept responsibility or take the blame for situations...I think its just her charecter.so don't indict your mother, it may not even be her fault but just how she was raised.

As for her actions when ever something happens at home,as a woman she feels the urge to let it out and talk to somebody and she is responsible enuff not to take it out of the house to friends and her parents and brothers so she involves you the children.

And as the only son,its very good you can think rationaly and independently,so I advise that you talk to your mum.make her know that her actions could causing division in the house,she is likely gonna be stubborn and disagree with you,but you would have done the needfull,so whenever she goes on about how bad ur father is you also try disagreeing whit her in presence of ur sisters and always make ur sisters see the truth in every issue she brings up.

Fathers do this too...I know a man who got married to a woman because he got her pregnant, he didn't want any of them. While growing up, he turned the child's mind against the mother calling her a slut and he's only trying to help them. Things went on till the child discovered the truth...tables changed and he ain't talking to the father no more. He and his mother moved out. She remarried and the father is trying to get to his son now.