Hello guys, I am having a little problem in my 18 months relationship so I decided to share the little issue here just to get your opinions.

I love my girlfriend with all my heart, I never knew there was young females like her until last year when I met her. She is everything amazing thing a woman should be, well mannered and cultured regardless of family background and living in America for almost all her life she still possess those awesome qualities of a well breed queen from the motherland.

I could go all day praising her lol.

The problem is, I feel like we are in somewhat of competitive relationship in terms of gifting.

I will only give few instances. Her birthday is in August but I decided to surprise her with a newer model one of her favorite vehicles (sports car) because we both love sports cars. I gave her the early birthday gift because I'd be out of the country during her birthday. 

Now as everyone know yesterday was fathers day. I don't have a child yet beside 3 God children 2 girls and a boy. I was invited to her family home by her mother since my parents are around here for Father's Day. Nice dinner served, good music,drinks, a few family friends and all that..

To cut the long story short. She didn't let me drive, she picked me up from my home. I came home to a brand new mustang near my driveway. She bought me a car for father's day.

Now I feel like we are in some kind of competition especially on gifting. Am I overreacting? Because I am still thinking about telling how I feel about her giving me similar gifts or exactly the same thing whenever I buy things for her. She also does that whenever I buy gift for her friends or family members.

Please your advice will really be appreciated. I love her and I do not want to come up as an ass or ungrateful brat and ruin what we have for each other. 

Front page please..

Well cooked!
Photos of the carS, some part of the car document and u purchasing the 1 u bought for her or your story don't exist.

She is paying you back in your own coin. You guys are doing competition.


You are actually overreacting. Keep cool and do your things aright when it comes to gifting. Give what is comfortable for you and don't mind what she gives back.

Yeah! Sure
Ya overreacting

na until U jam this eyelashes and nail fixing vampires u go appreciate her, she is to be ur life partner bro. no form big boy comot for her hand o. we don't have up to 3 of this type in 9ja.

She mst b related to my gal fwend who jst bought mii a latest Boeing 504 after I bought her an F-19...

Well keep calm nd enjoy dis phase of life...

You thought you would get a different line of response in family section?

Anyway just enjoy the gift she gave you and stop complaining.
What's your concern?

To anyone else who may think this is just about the vehicle or showing off. I never said she bought me a buggatti or jet. Its just a mustang GT worth less than $37,000. I have really been suck when it comes to relationship and one time I finally found who I am deeply in love with and with no doubt I want to wife anytime soon, I don't want to screw it up.

can u read turkish ጨበገኸጰሐመጀገዠቨጨኸ there u go in case u dont get it ask the poster above me for me my self i cant read it ooooo.

Sweet story but the maggi is undercooked. Put it back on fire.

URE overreacting

dwayni:
To anyone else who may think this is just about the vehicle or showing off. I never said she bought me a buggatti or jet. Its just a mustang GT worth less than $37,000. I have really been suck when it comes to relationship and one time I finally found who I am deeply in love with and with no doubt I want to wife anytime soon, I don't want to screw it up.

Get with the program newbie. If your story doesn't involve suffering and gnashing of teeth, it's show off.

Deal with it

Or send the mustang to me and the problem will be solved. See? No more car troubles.
Give away your troubles.....to me

cococandy:


You thought you would get a different line of response in family section?

Anyway just enjoy the gift she gave you and stop complaining.
What's your concern?

My major concerns are, feeling we are competing and maybe not appreciating what do for her simply because she can afford or gift back the similar.

Some people are so used to pain that sometimes when they find a little pleasure they still manage to think its pain.......you have mentioned just one instance her which maybe a coincidence

However if the above isn't the case find the best way to broach it to her....passing across your message via humor may work ,you know her better though,there has to be a way you both communicate deep matters.....

dwayni:


My major concerns are, feeling we are competing and maybe not appreciating what do for her simply because she can afford or gift back the similar.

That's a healthy competition since you can both afford it so quit whining if your story ain't porkies

Na wa oo..dunno whether 2 believe dis story or not. Buh anyways dere is nuffin 2 scared/worried about. Buh u guys should pls cut down on d gifts ni. Dat money can b channel into smtin more productive

dwayni:


My major concerns are, feeling we are competing and maybe not appreciating what do for her simply because she can afford or gift back the similarb .

Did she say 'thank you' when you gave it to her?
If yes. That's enough.
What other kind of appreciative do you want her to be? Maybe the car is appreciation in her own way.(competitive maybe) but hey...

Anyway I'm gonna gonna go out on a leg here and say that you're probably like the typical African man who believes having money is a requirement that defines your manhood. And having a girl who has that same power as you is now a question mark on your status in the relationship.right?

Because for some guys as long as they are in charge financially, they have no doubt that their lady will be pliant towards them since she's all but dependent on them.

Well now you gotta learn how to be a man without hiding behind expensive gifts.
That's your new homework.
Talk about learning to use your left hand in old age.

pretydiva:
Na wa oo..dunno whether 2 believe dis story or not. Buh anyways dere is nuffin 2 scared/worried about. Buh u guys should pls cut down on d gifts ni. Dat money can b channel into smtin more productive

There is nothing wrong in buying gift to love ones and it doesn't matter how cheap or expensive it is as long as you can afford it, you are giving with good intentions and willing. I doubt neither of us will be buying each other cars every 6 months through the relationship or if lead to marriage.

jaybee3:

That's a healthy competition since you can both afford it so quit whining if your story ain't porkies

True at first one may not want to believe him because of the flippant way he's telling the story.

[s]You are not yet a father and she gave you a gift on fathers day. Is she trying to mock you?[/s]

Make sure your next gift to her is a 9storey building so that you can get a skyscrapper in return.

My friend you don't have any problem.

cococandy:


Did she say 'thank you' when you gave it to her?
If yes. That's enough.
What other kind of appreciative do you want her to be? Maybe the car is appreciation in her own way.(competitive maybe) but hey...

Anyway I'm gonna gonna go out on a leg here and say that you're probably like the typical African man who believes having money is a requirement that defines your manhood. And having a girl who has that same power as you is now a question mark on your status in the relationship.right?

Because for some guys as long as they are in charge financially, they have no doubt that their lady will be pliant towards them since she's all but dependent on them.

Well now you gotta learn how to be a man without hiding behind expensive gifts.
That's your new homework.
Talk about learning to use your left hand in old age.

Not at all, I am not a typical minded African even though I barely lived in Nigeria. I appreciate independent black women. Let's say maybe there wouldn't this topic if she bought me for example a dog, expensive wine, pair of shoes, a piece of artwork or something less or not similar to what I got for her. I bought a wristwatch for her parents for their 32 years marriage anniversary and on my baby bro's graduation she bought exactly the same wristwatch that I got for her dad for my baby bro.

MissEse:
Well cooked!
Photos of the carS, some part of the car document and u purchasing the 1 u bought for her or your story don't exist.

GBAM!!!

Hehe I remenbered an old time friend I told what I got for my 30th birthday during our Facebook chat and she logged off and never chat me again since then. I see her online oh.. I think she unfriended me sef

Dywani yes it's healthy and for the most part fun fun fun . Stop sweating small stuff as long as she's a great girl and meets all other qualities you want in wife.

I get my husband the most expensive things in store and he never disappoints! I asked the store attendant to take me to the high end shelve when buying his dress shirts & jewelries .

We are running out of gift ideas

Same with the kids!

Life is good , enjoy it!

#Please don't quote me

dwayni:


Not at all, I am not a typical minded African even though I barely lived in Nigeria. I appreciate independent black women. Let's say maybe there wouldn't this topic if she bought me for example a dog, expensive wine, pair of shoes, a piece of artwork or something less or not similar to what I got for her. I bought a wristwatch for her parents for their 32 years marriage anniversary and on my baby bro's graduation she bought exactly the same wristwatch that I got for her dad for my baby bro.

Ok that's weird.

dwayni:
To anyone else who may think this is just about the vehicle or showing off. I never said she bought me a buggatti or jet. Its just a mustang GT worth less than $37,000. I have really been suck when it comes to relationship and one time I finally found who I am deeply in love with and with no doubt I want to wife anytime soon, I don't want to screw it up.

Oh this made me smile big! "Just a Mustang GT worth kess than $37,000", huh? Thats a big gift and whatvyou gave her is big as well. Plz, dont turn this into a headache for yourself, dont let your pride/ego affect you. She loves you and you love her...its a beautiful and rare thing today. Consider this as the way more privileged couples play the "I LOVE YOU MORE" game .
That way even though it is still a competition its "friendly competition". Be easy and hold tight to each other

I wouldn't like it if my partner gives me whatever I give him in return. . Not like there's something wrong with it but I wouldn't be comfortable. . There are so many other gift items to purchase, why exactly what I give you? ? Not even once?

Op, I think you guys are actually competing.. Don't know the kinda relationship you're in but I feel like she's trying to show you, yeah I can also afford to give this away... Or on d contrary, she may just be thinking oh he deserves this kinda precious gift in return. .. You should know her better shaaa... Do both of you show off in your relationship?

Also, you can ask her why she always gives you exact same thing in return. . Just find a way to communicate to her.. The answer lies with her...

Ok now I feel like someone is getting my point. See, she is truly an amazing person, kindhearted and all. I love her with all my heart I swear to God I do but it kinda bothers me somewhat and I hope I'm just overreacting.

I just want to find a better way to address it to her in other not to come off to her the wrong way or ruin what we have going on, that all.

MarvellousGod:

Do both of you show off in your relationship?

Other than this, I don't think so.

Well if it'll make you feel better, ask her why she always 'copy' your gifts ideas (jokingly). I for one don't see anything weird in this. People do this all the time.

I will find it difficult to appreciate when my partner buy me the same gift i presented to her,it like returning it back to me. I believe she might be doing this out of ignorance,talking to her is very cool but has to be presented in a good manner.

I don't know how she use to react to issue i would have suggest that you invite her for a dinner and communicate with her.

You can also reduce the kind of expensive gift you buy for her,like buying some kind cheap items and see maybe she will appreciate and then buy you same when next,then we can totally judge.


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Yea right.

bewla:
can u read turkish ጨበገኸጰሐመጀገዠቨጨኸ there u go in case u dont get it ask the poster above me for me my self i cant read it ooooo.

Dis dude is a clown.......heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh.....