Reddit:
I sensed pride

Where is the pride in his write up. I have been in his shoees so I understand his tears

Ashmark:


The 300k that you gave out was out of love except if it Pride sha which I don't know.

You can't really complain when you borrow somebody 300k at once but when that 300k is shared among 15 different people calling you consecutively to borrow money within just week. There is on how you won't complain within yourself, just that you may not make it public like OP.

True ....but you and I know,bruvas in the US like exaggerations? $100 here and there suddenly turns to $1m.

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

NAIJA STYLE

You owe nobody any explanation. Give to those you who actually need your help like parents and ignore others. if people request and they see you are willing to give they Will stop requesting. You can tell them that it is not convenient for you to give at that time. If they become your enemy after that well don't worry yourself because the same people will be laughing at you when you have issues. To let you into little secret some of those begging you for money are actually more well to do than you. Use your head

I dnt understand english,can someone translate this in swhaili

Its quite simple. U must step on toes. Stop being a philanthropist. Every time u call home or av contact with these people, stop making them sense that u r well fed rather make them understand some of d challenges u go through. U might want to exaggerate u bit. Secondly, change ur lines. No one should av ur direct phone number from Nigeria with d exception of ur parents and siblings. Also, give strict instructions not to share such numbers. If need be to call anyone from Nigeria, use a phone card or hide ur number. U must disassociate urself a bit. As for Facebook, d same thing. Restrict ur usuage and take down any info that may seem flamboyant. That's what I would do

jasmines:


will do that

Can you post a link here for us to see? I am also interested.

Don't PLEASE others and DISPLEASE yourself...
It's just so unfortunate my brother learnt this the hard way, imagine him waking up in the middle of the night to think about other people's problems, crazy right?
Later naa, as hin BP dey rise nobody teach am how to use scale of preference..
Other people problem remains their problem until you decide to carry the problem, then it becomes your problem.....Don't misquote me bro, its good to give as they say 'givers never lack' but what happens when the person u are giving to has enough of what you are giving to him and only see yours as another source of income, its really disheartening.
The problem with giving is that it always comes to a point that you don't even know who is really in dire need cus there are so many hypocritical people..
Giving is a virtue..God give you the grace to give

jasmines:


My bro it is well.....
All these are stories, d bible says that strong men keeps riches, you aren't strong willed, you will be poor?
For how long will you keep being the beast of burden to others?

One easy way is to get someone who is principled and get them to go to that person to seek approval before you give.

Dont you have children? Dont you want to leave a legacy for them?
Giving all you have is out-rightly WRONG!!! Promising your future pay check is purely STUPID!!!
Sorry if I sound rude but I am angry reading this.

Another way too is to get the money, put it in an escrow acct or with someone you trust, come rain, come sunshine, the money isn't coming out till you provide a legitimate need you own.

Listen to yourself, Giving 500k, yet you have a debt of 200k.
My father was like you, a real father xmas, ppl used to wake us up from sleep with unending stories that touch the heart, now he's late but do you know that when he died, the only thing we received was a mockery loaf of bread. Our house became as quiet as a graveyard, nobody comes anymore, they didn't even attend his funeral, they said he was a secret sinner, and God has punished him cus his money couldn't have been pure.

I can keep telling you stories. You need to think of yourself first.
Go and keep your cars somewhere safe for 3months, move your family to your wive's parents place, put a quit notice on your door and call them to help you out with house rent and see how fast they'll leave you.

I better stop here

True words!

My problem is that I'm too compassionate. Hence I would rather not get to know your problems, than to hear of it and do nothing about it. Hence my attempts to remain elusive and incommunicado most times.

I am equally angry at myself. I reckon it's time to grow a cold heart and love myself before loving my neighbour.

astrodome:


And who will be my new friends on the new fb page? Those ones will not ask for help?

Oga wat r u feeling like now? if u dnt want to give dem money u tell dem instead of making jest of ur family and friends here on nairaland. are u not even ashamed of ursef? u claim to have the highest degree, u live and work in us. and ur so called brain u used in acquiring the degree. didn't suggest or tell u in anyway that u need to open a business for your family members to use and attain to their own needs. but hell no. u choose to be the giver instead of helping. as far as am concern ur not helping anybody but yourself. so they will see you as a big boy(man). if u realy want to help someone I think it's by supporting his or her business. so the person can as well as help others same way. but ur type is just full of pride. ur not the only nairalander in US okay? me elder brother is in dubai. and he has opend a well lucrative biz for ma mom and gave my immediate elder brother money to start up a business. atleast that will ease him spending much. u r just here bragging of shitz. next thread joor.

ECOTERRORS:
SCAM ALERT

Post this trash in the right section (crime) so that EFCC can monitor your handle

bae, u look good

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

MA GUY U RUDE GAN

All these people abusing the poster WHO UNA DON HELP ?

Poster, Nairaland is not the platform to seek advice on this type of issue. You'd only get insults.

I noticed some self ego embellishments on your post.

Make a video or post exactly your thread on FACEBOOK and examine the response from your friendlist When you do this, make sure you go offline. That way, you let em know say the matter don reach critical for you.

.

Bros.its me emeka energy.ur long cousin.Thank God i saw u on Nairaland.so u re avoiding 2 send dat $200 u promised.plz na dis money am asking is 2 smal.

astrodome:


You could be my neighbour- Live in Montgomery County, MD

Oh really..pretty nice

Baltimore

It's a funny situation bro. I think you just have to come up with a strategy to make everybody old enough to understand that they should take care of themselves. Stuffs like this is also common in Naija where you see siblings and relatives living with a particular member of the family because he or she has a good job or because they think he is rich. I have also had my fair share of it. The only thing I pray for, is for God to bless them and the works of their hands.

Interesting viewpoint

darlenese:
U are from a poor background
Ur friends are also very poor
U know what is feels like being poor
So help ur poor pals and stop ranting

astrodome:


Some of them include relatives I am obligated to help. Na person train me na ? How can I shut them all out? I understand your point, of course. Thanks

Ask them to come up with sustainable business plan so you help once for all with proviso that they must help two ppl once they settle or pay back twice what you helped with so two others can benefit

Very easy. Change ur fone number, do not log in to fb at all, or ignore any such request. Do not even reply.
Email? Leave all personal mails, attend to only official mails if u use same for both purposes.
They are not seeing you, u can only feel bad wen dey are standing in front of u.

loolz

Sunofgod:


Announce your death to them on FB

mickey45:


SYH? Why?
Btw, I've been meaning to reach you o!

Send me a mail.

StOla:


True words!

My problem is that I'm too compassionate. Hence I would rather not get to know your problems, than to hear of it and do nothing about it. Hence my attempts to remain elusive and incommunicado most times.

I am equally angry at myself. I reckon it's time to grow a cold heart and love myself before loving my neighbour.

Better still, get a Financial manager.
They are everywhere, they tie your hands when it comes to reckless giving. No loose cash to throw away. At the end of the year, you have properties and you have money you never knew u could save.

Let me explain how it works:
You find one, explain to them how you want to save your money, you let them know how much you currently earn, your expenses and your goals. You either hand over your income to them or sign an agreement on how much you must save every month. Failure to do that, will attract punishment. They will also help you plan a budget and cut loose spending, as your savings get to the stipulated amount, if you agreed to buy a house for e,g, you all will go and get a house that falls within your budget. They will manage it, and the income. You will hold your papers etc, they give statement of accounts every month.

Individuals normally charge 10% of everything you saved while corporate bodies charge 20% Charges vary sha

tabletman1:
Tell them you've lost your job and you're now a plate washer.

These people asking you for money will be the same people to blame you for being a useless and careless person if you come back to Nigeria without a solid investment|money.

He never know how far

And for people who think they are living big, the only reasonable investments are Real estate property and Cash in the bank like Fixed deposit

Evathyst:
Bullsh*t! See what my sluggish network has costed me? I applied for a plot of land at Ikoyi(front page), but now, it has taken me to Ajegunle(second page)


Xo sad! Wetin I wan comment for post wey I no bother to read? Lolz!

....dis one na oshogbo weed ......lol

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

Better stop giving and become their enemy.When you have show down,they will still be the one to laugh you.

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

EWU , what dyu expect when you post those fake pictures of you shaking hands with barack obama, hugging williams sisters and dinning with angelina jolie.
You must keep up with the level of forming you displayed in fb and whats app.

astrodome:
I just dropped the phone a few minutes ago after speaking with one of these old friends, got very angry after telling me he lives in Adamawa (Boko Haram) and needs money to relocate to his state of origin. This coming after I sent $700, respectively to a sister and a sister-inlaw this am
Dem wan kill me?

My brother, until you learn to say 'no' and stick with it, these folks would continue to drain u until you are effectively liquidated. try as much as possible not to help anyone with money for feeding, rent, payment of children's fees or medical bills. It's sheer waste of resources! Only help a few sensible people with setting up a business that can sustain them thereafter, and ensure such persons provide a greater percentage of the start-up funds. People get lazy and disingeneous when given freebies. If you love your life quit making people view you as an employment. I guarantee none of them would die if you stop helping them.

Wtf do you mean,do they think you do drugs in States??omg you're indeed deluded my friend,so what are you gona get here then,??they said blessed are those who gives cause they will received,!!what a sec,you wana let every single paerson on this forum to know that every single Nigerian that lives in abraod gotta do drugs or other shit to make it huh?I have nothing to say to you but just two words >>Bleep you <<

tabletman1:
Tell them you've lost your job and you're now a plate washer.

These people asking you for money will be the same people to blame you for being a useless and careless person if you come back to Nigeria without a solid investment|money.

Love you bro.

tabletman1:
Tell them you've lost your job and you're now a plate washer.

These people asking you for money will be the same people to blame you for being a useless and careless person if you come back to Nigeria without a solid investment|money.

Love you bro.

There is a saying "the way to failure is trying to please everyone".Nigerians have a disturbing mentality that anyone abroad is a cashcow that has to be milked dry at all cost,most times they give silly lies and excuses just to get money from people they know abroad.in the end,this money is spent recklessly and they come back for more.
My advice is to concerntrate on your family,both home and abroad,forget about friends,because they are the one that have the tendency to keep coming back for more (Oliver twist).So set a standard for yourself on giving (give only those you feel really need it),and leave the rest,cos whether you like it or not these vampires will keep coming back,and they will also survive without your assistance.....


My 5 cent