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Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by jashar(f): 10:23am On Jul 24, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: Sometimes I feel that some men forget that their wives are human beings too. Even though she's a wife, she doesn't have to do everything in the house . Abeg. 10 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Nobody: 10:30am On Jul 24, 2015 |
jashar:Yeah, some men see their wives as some house maids, they expect them do to everything including cleaning their spittle as in Op's case... It's well.... 6 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Enoquin(f): 11:56am On Jul 24, 2015 |
Only one of my brothers has that disgusting habit of spitting while using the toilet and when I hear it, I say loudly 'M, I hope you are okay? If you try it again ehn', gradually it's reducing. It is just a recent habit of his I noticed and I am thinking he either got it from staying off camp. I want to totally eradicate that habit and I am succeeding but you have to know that this is my younger brother. If it was my hubby, I'd tell him gently but firmly with all seriousness once. The next time, I won't mention it but he'd know by my face he just did something wrong and he'd correct it gradually. As for the slippers thingy; I have two pairs in the bathroom, two pairs in the kitchen and more pairs outside. There is a footmat at the bathroom entrance and two rags in the room. If you don't clean off properly on the mat, you'd slip and fall. Falling on a wet floor of tiles is dangerous so everyone behaves. If you see or pour water on the floor, the rags are there to quickly clean off. But slippers or shoes in the room are a no-no. So, keep two pairs of slippers in your bathroom and one by the mat, so that he wipes off his feet and wears the one for the room. As for stopping him from spitting, you know your hubby and I am sure you have once or twice gotten him to do something you wanted; so employ what works for you. 2 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by thorpido(m): 2:54pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
jashar:Make she divorce him na. |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by jashar(f): 3:15pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by thorpido(m): 3:35pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
jashar:Some men are insensitive.If a lady is dating a guy,his level of hygiene is one of the things to look out for.If she marries a man like the Op's hubby,then she has to live with it. It takes a lot for such men to change. 1 Like |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by mcdokwe(m): 9:20pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
Women! Are you suggesting he comes out to the kitchen or room to spit instead. I get that you've got this mental picture that irks you rather than the spittle as nothing you've said so far suggests that you see the spittle afterwards as they apparently get washed by the bath water. What you do is called nagging omaa4: |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Jorussia(m): 11:50pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
melodies:Hi,how are you doing? 1 Like |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Kimoni: 12:49am On Jul 25, 2015 |
OP, how long have you been married cuz you sound like a newlywed. Pls learn to take ur mind off some things and focus on more important things in the marriage. You should understand this by now if you have kids. Learn how to tolerate and cope with some annoying behaviours from ur hubby and even the kids. Clean as much as you can after him and give yourself a break when you don't feel like but pls stop whining about it every time it happens. Save all your whinings for more pertinent issues |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Beremx(f): 9:20am On Jul 25, 2015 |
Seems your husband doesn't brush his teeth before bathing. If he does, why then should he spitting like he's pregnant woman? That's typical of a man who grew up in a face-me-i-face-you house. Probably he hasn't realized that he now lives privately. |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by omaa4: 9:35am On Jul 25, 2015 |
Thanks everyone for your comments, @Kimoni, thanks for the candid advise, @TV01 will love to share notes with your wife. Honestly, my hubby is not as bad at it sounds, maybe it's just me trying to be overly worried about the issue. because he ends up bathing and washing away his spittle from the bath. And he's really not so careless in a lot of other things, except this particular bathroom habit of his. On the contrary, he's quite a decent and well-trained young man from a good family. And he's also of good general hygiene like hand-washing and wardrobe cleanliness. Infact it was him who introduced the footmat in front of the bath. I even threw away two of his bathroom slippers which works better that than the new one I bought, without his consent. Maybe i'll have to buy a more absorbent footmat. I guess I will just handle the situation more gently and with love and I believe with time he will get over the habit. And he does not do this everyday, just sometimes. *lso he does not pee on the bathroom floor as I said, just some pee on the toilet seat but this too he wipes with a tissue. He's also not a bad influence on our daughter, rather he's a caring and doting dad who enjoys spending quality time with his family. Infact he was there in the delivery room with me in the US when we traveled to have our daughter. Maybe I need to appreciate more what I have. |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Kimoni: 9:41am On Jul 25, 2015 |
omaa4: see all these good qualities from one person only?? @bolded - pls appreciate him more. God bless your home. |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by GHoJes: 11:35am On Jul 25, 2015 |
omaa4:Nawa, why did you sort help then, he saw this? You show signs of one with esteem gradually eroding, suddenly taking all the blame. He is not a bad influence but you know him enough to fear he may become one. He does not deliberately pee on the floor but the pee sometimes stray there to make the place smell etc. If it causes you much sadness deal with it or everly keep quiet and block the sadness it brings by effectively managing the mess. You dont keep quiet and believe it will change like that, then become sadder if it doesnt change, you keep quiet only if you'v gotten over or use to stuff. It's possible i may have wasted my time, i really wanted to pass but i felt compelled to tell you what you know. You dont sound happy, if you succeded in decieving some people, you cant decieve yourself. Appreciate your man as you say, he should also appreciate you. Is it getting to know each other better? him? You? that is the issue. Whatever it is, deal with it and more importantly find happiness for yourself. It shouldnt be a man's world where your man is concerned. Do you even know each other's love language? Get off the sad lane. 7 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by mitchelle1989(f): 11:44am On Jul 25, 2015 |
He probably have been doing that all his life and it will take him some time to stop, it could take months or even years before he can master the new routine. hv he for once removed his slippers before entering the room or he bluntly refuse to even make an attempt? Most men are not as careful as women. Oh, he even wipes toilet seat after pissing, you are damn lucky. |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by melodies: 2:09pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Jorussia(m): 3:21pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
melodies:I am cool. |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Chillis: 3:47pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
omaa4: Some people brush their teeth while in the shower. As long as you wash it out later. Some pee in shower etc. Why is that a problem to you? As per bathroom slippers. Most times its used for more friction so you don't accidentally slip. I don't know what the problem is here. No be the same spit wey him dey use kiss you ni. If you stay close to some pregnant women that spits every 10min. That means You would run crazy. Relax and live life. Some things are not worth bothering over |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by EfemenaXY: 11:20am On Jul 26, 2015 |
tearoses: Won't he spit on that too? omaa4: Lemme get this straight. So while perched on the toilet seat, he shoots / hurls his spittle into the bath? Sorry dear, but that's just disgusting. And I'm sure it's not a one-off thing - with you hearing each phlegm hit and slide off the bathroom walls. Ewww... 2 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by EfemenaXY: 11:32am On Jul 26, 2015 |
omaa4: And I think you need to grow a backbone woman! You've completely gone 360 degrees on us. So if the issue isn't with him, but with you as you'd rather have us believe, then why bring it on here? Can't you take criticism in your stride? There are certain things, we as human can only take so much of. I'm sorry to say this, but from what you've told us, it sounds as though your hubby lacks basic home training and his hygiene level leaves much to be desired. Are you now his mother or what? What's wrong is wrong and you should be able to point this out to him. I'm not asking you to go in there, guns blazing, but you SHOULD be able to let him know that certain things are unacceptable! Is he a three year old for whom you need to treat with kid gloves? Please. And for all those saying ignore / treat him with more love...comic relief, I tell you. I bet you, if this was the other way round, i.e: you with the floor wetting, weeing, and spitting issue, majority of the advisers here would have suggested that he ships your backside back to your parents' for some basic home training 101 lessons, ASAP. I agree wholeheartedly with GHoJes. You do have self-esteem issues and are willing to sacrifice your happiness and peace of mind by taking the blame for something that isn't your fault at all. What's wrong is wrong. No two ways about it. 10 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Nobody: 1:03pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Sorry efe but I disagree She has come to understand that there are some things more important than this right now and has decided to look at the cup half full rather than half empty. I actually applaud her She realises that NO ONE is perfect and everybody as in everyone has at least one "defficiency" for lack of a better word and has decided to treat him as she will like to be treated, which is with patience and tolerance. In marriage one tolerates some things that you wouldnt tolerate from anyone else. I am 100% sure that her hubby is tolerating some things from her too. My hubby certainly is. Giving an example, I only drink very hot coffee and I have a habit of leaving half full cups around. I do the same with bottled water. I mostly drink sparking water and once I open a bottle and the fizz is gone, I leave it and open another. Can I change? Probably not totally but I do try. She has told him about the habit and eventually he will get the message. Should she make a big deal about it NO! She has said he is good in all other areas, so she should let him be. No one is 100% perfect. Its her home and she has decided to let this one go. Please lets respect her descsion. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Nobody: 1:28pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
omaa4:Why suddenly all these praises contrary to your initial write up? Did he see this page? ... if water washes his spittle off each time, then why complain in the first place? All the best..... @ tearoses ^^^^^^... if she has actually realised that no one is perfect, then good.... 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by 2goodbobo(m): 1:44pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Sorry to say this but your Hubby's attitude is terrible and disgusting. haba spit on the floor? that's gross 3 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by EfemenaXY: 2:03pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
tearoses: I'm sorry but I don't agree with you either. I prefer to call a spade a spade and not sweep issues under the carpet. Take a look at her initial post again. What does the tone of her post tell you about her state of mind? omaa4: Do the bolded bits sound like she's happy with the current situation at home? She's stated categorically that she's got issues with his level of hygiene and rather than take correction, he picks offence? Like seriously? I don't know about you but not only do I find spitting a very anti-social habit, it's also a dirty one not to mention the associated health risks that go with it. A simple google search on the harzards of spitting out in the open will tell you more than I ever could: Spitting is not a habit worth getting into for reasons that go beyond the obvious. Despite the social indignation of those who spit, there are also personal health hazards that need to be brought to your attention. Ulcers, cancers and the spreading of disease are major considerations when talking about the dangers of spitting. Mental issues, such as self image problems, can also become a contributing factor in developing a spitting habit. Saliva hosts a variety of diseases and infections. Spit contains your DNA, thus autoimmune diseases and bacteria are highly contagious in spit, as spit serves as a transit vessel from one host to the next. Spit that carries such infections must penetrate the body somehow and reach the bloodstream such as via an open sore, mouth or even an eye, in order to become deadly. Viruses such as meningitis are also easily transferable through spit. Other germs, such as the common cold and influenza, are significantly prevalent diseases spread by saliva. The stigma, however, is laid upon those who spit constantly. Common courtesy is recommended when considering spitting, but if you spit just because you can and do it all the time, beware: People notice and tend to take offence. I would've loved to put the link from where I culled that article up here, but I don't want to become the spambot's victim this Sunday afternoon. Anyway, she also pointed out that she's concerned about their six-month old daughter. Isn't that more than enough reason for her to have issues with him over this? But rather than change, he gets angry and makes no attempt to make changes. The example you gave about you leaving half opened bottles of water, etc aren't relevant here (no offence intended). You're comparing apples and oranges. He spits. It's dirty. It's got health implications. You don't spit. And I hardly think a half drunk bottle of sparkling water constitutes a health hazard. Yes, no one is perfect but marriage is about give and take. Not take, take, take. Sure, it's about tolerance but I repeat, there is a level up to which any sane human being can take quietly in their stride before they reach breaking point. She's bending over backwards to accommodate his habit and she can't handle it anymore, hence her bringing out here in the open. What is he doing to help the situation, apart from feeling "disrespected"? Can she in equal measures decide to squat on the floor and defecate on it, instead of using the toilet because she finds it more comfortable / she was brought up that way? She came on here asking for advice and opinions and I've given mine, just as you've given yours, so I don't see what the big deal is here. 5 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Nobody: 2:35pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Efe my dear she may not have sounded happy in her initial post, but that feeling doesnt have to be permanent. She may have read the responses here and she has also had time to mull over things and put things in perspective and that may have changed her mind. She also has the full picture. She knows her hubby better than anyone else here and if she says its Okay and wants to move on then she has that right. Its her choice and its her marriage. Flexibility and being open minded too is a good thing in marriage. She said she is happy with the way things are, who are we to say otherwise? they are the ones who live together. what I dont like is when someone has said its enough, we carry on dissecting. We need to respect that persons stand. 6 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by teasel: 2:45pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
This is so disgusting and some idiots' comments here are even more so. What kind of nonsense is this? Your husband would sure as hell NOT clean your spit/sputum and urine from the bathroom walls and floor so don't take that rubbish from him. Why do some men behave like animals? Sheeesh! 3 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by EfemenaXY: 2:50pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
tearoses: She did? Where? I've just had a re-read of her last post and all I see there are conditional phrases: ~ "Maybe I should have..." ~ "Perhaps I might have been..." ~ "I suppose I could..." And those to me, sound like someone who's changing stances from being outrightly indignant (and rightly so) to someone becoming submissively passive / scared of rocking the boat. Anyway, like I mentioned earlier, she came on here asking for opinions and I've given mine like you gave yours. I don't see what was dissected. And yes, at the end of the day, it's her call. She knows what to do when she feels she's had enough. 4 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by bebrief(m): 8:25pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
@EfemenaXY, I am compelled to ask if you are a female, and if you are, then you either have never been pregnant or you've never experienced morning sickness. And I believe the OP must have gone thru some early stages of pregnancy since she has a baby. For some women who suffer from extreme morning sickness syndrome, it's "most disgusting" for their husbands to say the least. Some women practically carry a spittle bottle in their bags everywhere they go, and same gets littered around the house and by bedsides for emergency use. Also, the nausea and vomiting can be sickening to anyone around for as long as it lasts, sometime throughout the pregnancy. I doubt if their husbands pick so much offence. That is why I believe that the habit of the OP's husband can simply be judged as a reflex one, which only needs a continuous gentle persuasion to be dropped. And are you seriously scared of getting meningitis from your husband's spittle, as referenced in your article? Do you really think you wouldn't contact more from a man you have unprotected sex with, whose bodily fluid you absorb from the act both thru kissing and with whom you share the same bed plus other personal belongings? If you are so scared of your husband's spittle on the bathroom infecting you, then you really need a reality check if you're actually married. As much as the habit is undesirable, it is one that can be handled with love and respect to achieve a desired result. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by EfemenaXY: 8:41pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
bebrief: My gender is irrelevant to the course of discussion here so stop trying to make it personal too. Spitting, outwardly is a disgusting habit and it doesn't matter whether you're male or female. bebrief: Yes, I do know that some pregnant women do as you've described and that still doesn't make it right either. But then again, that's beside the point. Is her husband pregnant? What sort of nasty reflex habit is that? Re: the bolded bit of your post - is she his mother to "continuously gently persuade him to stop"? Then he or even she, might as well defecate on their undies, and drop it on the bathroom floor for the spouse to pick, and clean up after them because that too is nothing more than mere bodily waste that needs "continuous gently persuasion to be dropped". bebrief: Did you read the bit of her post were she mentioned that they've got a six month old baby? And that sometimes, when he's done with the bathroom, (even after she's just cleaned it up, he messes it up immediately afterwards) and their en suite bedroom stinks to the high heavens from the combined odour of stale urine, phelgem on the bathroom tiles, not to mention the water he drips all over the floors? You don't think his disgusting habits poses a health risk to their vulnerable child whose immune system is still developing? omaa4: And is meningitis the only disease that could be caught from someone's spittle? Sorry, I find what she's described as a horrible, nauseating habit. I don't know about you, but you obviously don't think, shooting spittle on the bathroom walls, urinating on the ground and toilet seat, plus leaving a water trail all over the house, isn't that big a deal. 1 Like |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by ladyju(f): 8:58pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
@ op you have to bear it. I've accepted my fate. Due to d nature of my job, hubby goes out before me. I tidy up the room and bathroom when he's through. I don't complain any more cos it didn't yield any fruit when I complained. FYI hubby removes his clothes in d sitting room some times. And I have to tidy up cos I have dirty environment. 3 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Ewuro4: 9:05pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Dyt: 1. Blows his nose in the shower, though very tiny greenish spots but I just can't overlook those things, it irritate me to my last nerve, I've jejely asked him to stop but he deliberately didnt coz of my tone & approach. He started washing the shower walls/doors down after every bath AFTER 2 years(when I stopped nagging about it) MEN. 2. He loves dodo like no tomorrow and mostly uses the deep fryer. You know that basket ? Yes. He ALWAYS shakes it , takes the whole basket out of the oil pail and turn it upside down to retrieve his dodo. Leaving all the counter top/stove top oily. He's yet to stop. I don't think he ever will. Check that. OP Chillax and pick your battles dear. Marriage is one interesting institution. 6 Likes |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Ewuro4: 9:15pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
TV01: Hahaha tell me about it TV? Men. |
Re: Addresing Hubby's Toilet Manners! by Dyt(f): 9:16pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Ewuro4: |
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