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Boys Night Out Discussions - Family (127) - Nairaland

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I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism / Girls night out discussions / 11-yr-Old Girl Gets Pregnant For Five Boys (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by RoyalRoy(m): 4:23pm On Sep 08, 2015
NashvilleTN:


Thanks bro, nice to see you are still doing a great job on this thread.

How family?




Wow, welcome back Nash. Still thought about you yesterday while speaking with a friend about a show in Nashville.

Good to have u around!!
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by NashvilleTN: 4:57pm On Sep 08, 2015
RoyalRoy:





Wow, welcome back Nash. Still thought about you yesterday while speaking with a friend about a show in Nashville.

Good to have u around!!

The Royal Roy. How are you my broda. I still remain loyal to your government o.

Good to see you guys still around
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by NashvilleTN: 4:57pm On Sep 08, 2015
netotse:
@NashvilleTN
good to have you back...there wasn't anyone to give interesting scenarios...lol

Lol, how are you my man. Life is just too interesting I have to share sometimes.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by TV01(m): 5:09pm On Sep 08, 2015
damiso:
Coach TV01 been severely anaemic (even with me taking iron tablets and eating loads of greens embarassed) my Gp has called for some more blood work yesterday. He however is insistig that I start eating red meat again embarassed(completely cut of my diet and eat chicken/turkey/fish)

What are the lean cuts?
Hmmm...listen to your GP 0. But don't let up on bothering him if you don;t feel you are getting the right treatment. Was this a sudden thing or a steady detoriation - are you over-doing the exercise? Are you just stressed (too many chores grin) or overdoing things?

I don't eat much red meat - occassional lamb and goat - wife doesn't like beef and wont touch pork. I can def recommend lamb and goat meat. Ask your butcher or read up about alternate options.


TV
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 5:18pm On Sep 08, 2015
TV01:
Regards chores, I don't take that approach of tasks to be divvied up. And I’d also wonder at an equalist approach. I have a more expansive view - effort, preferences, strengths, contribution, convenience and balance.

There is nothing in the home - bar one or two things - that I cannot do. It's a matter of responsibility & often necessity. Commanding means being competent as well. Which soldier is there that will really respect a general with no battle experience?

My wife isn't feeling heavy lifting, or jobs too dirty for anything more than a pair of kitchen gloves grin. I do all the heavy stuff. But the heavy stuff is not as frequent as the day to day lighter stuff. So typically I'm pitching in - in a nutshell we will both tend to be doing one of the numerous things that need attending to. Balance & effort

My wife likes loading - the expensive machine she made me buy cheesy - and folding. I find hanging very calming smiley! As able, we tend to do this jointly. Preferences, strengths.

I appreciate the "busy life" aspect of Carrin' story - as that can be the case with just one job each and a few children.

If I sense my wife is tired or overdoing it, I simply tell her to carry it over, or take it over myself. Overall I'm stronger, so in a relative sense probably do more. Contribution & balance.

It’s not “chores”, it’s managing my household and ensuring everyone is well and everything is in order.


TV

Feminism would gradually and finally die off if more men reasoned like you.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 5:34pm On Sep 08, 2015
NashvilleTN:


Thanks TV and bellong,its been a while smiley

I am joining very late. Anyways, to the topic, house work should not be exclusively for women only. House work should be outsourced in my view to helps and machines - vacuum cleaners, dish washers, washer & dryer etc.

But where people cannot afford it, then it should be shared. I can't see my wife struggling with house work and I completely ignore her. I love her too much not to help her. But bometimes the issue is timing. She might want me to come help her now, and it might be during the Chelsea game; so I'll ask her to wait. But she'll go ahead and finish doing the work herself. That has happened a few times. In my view, she should leave the chores, join me in watching the game and we can do the chores together later. Life can be simple sometimes.

Hey house, great to be back!


[size=18pt]Nashville shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
[/size]
welcome back bro
I hope you brought back plenty plenty interesting gist with you grin
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by damiso(f): 5:49pm On Sep 08, 2015
TV01:

Hmmm...listen to your GP 0. But don't let up on bothering him if you don;t feel you are getting the right treatment. Was this a sudden thing or a steady detoriation - are you over-doing the exercise? Are you just stressed (too many chores grin) or overdoing things?

I don't eat much red meat - occassional lamb and goat - wife doesn't like beef and wont touch pork. I can def recommend lamb and goat meat. Ask your butcher or read up about alternate options.


TV

I have always been slightly anaemic and have always been on ferrous sulphate( I hate them) and if i won't lie to myself I tend to 'forget' to take them. Hubby is always on my case to take them but I would rather just eat more green vegetables. Have been ok with but just noticed shortness of breath or dizziness sometimes when running.but yesterday I was unable to get up from cos I felt so lethargic and run down (which is odd cos exercising running especially normally makes me feel so energetic).Gp advised To maybe stop tedious exercising routines for now.

I cut red meat out gradually and from early on this year totally(though hubby and the kids still have it occasionally).



I like lamb.not a fan of beef so was not something I missed eating.

Thank you.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 6:19pm On Sep 08, 2015
So, gentlemen. Has anyone here seen the movie "Locke", starring Tom Hardy?

It's about a happily married building engineer who decides to travel out of town to witness the birth of his child by a one-time fling. Apparently, his father abandoned him growing up, he didn't meet the man till he was 23, and he didn't want that to happen to any child of his, legitimate or not. From all accounts, up till the point of his romantic indiscretion, he was a good father and husband.

Anyway, he gets a call at work/close of work from this other woman telling him her water broke, two months before EDD, and he off-the-cuff decides to go out of town to "be there" for this child of his, risking and losing both his marriage and job in the process.


If anyone here has seen it, I'd like a conversation, as I made quite a number of observations.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by NashvilleTN: 6:45pm On Sep 08, 2015
tearoses:


[size=18pt]Nashville shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
[/size]
welcome back bro
I hope you brought back plenty plenty interesting gist with you grin

Madam CC, hope you are fine. Awon ara ile nko? I will try and get used to the new name.

Gist plenty o! But work has been more ..........
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 6:58pm On Sep 08, 2015
NashvilleTN:


Madam CC, hope you are fine. Awon ara ile nko? I will try and get used to the new name.

Gist plenty o! But work has been more ..........

Welcome back Nashville. smiley
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 7:05pm On Sep 08, 2015
Timbuktou:
So, gentlemen. Has anyone here seen the movie "Locke", starring Tom Hardy?

It's about a happily married building engineer who decides to travel out of town to witness the birth of his child by a one-time fling. Apparently, his father abandoned him growing up, he didn't meet the man till he was 23, and he didn't want that to happen to any child of his, legitimate or not. From all accounts, up till the point of his romantic indiscretion, he was a good father and husband.

Anyway, he gets a call at work/close of work from this other woman telling him her water broke, two months before EDD, and he off-the-cuff decides to go out of town to "be there" for this child of his, risking and losing both his marriage and job in the process.


If anyone here has seen it, I'd like a conversation, as I made quite a number of observations.
The only reason I saw this movie to the end was because it was Tom Hardy. I fully expected it to turn into a thriller/action at some point. Alas.
As far as I'm concerned, the only men who should/may leave their jobs to be present for their child's birth are reality TV guys, like the Kardashians or something. I don't care if his father abandoned him in the back of a moving trailer.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 7:09pm On Sep 08, 2015
BoboYekini:
Abeg where's the pages on having a great sex life? All these washing plates/clothes stuff is somehow..
TV01:

Well asked. More than willing to join this one, but only in "married" terms.




TV
Are you suggesting that men wait until marriage before engaging in sex and honing their skills?
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Kimoni: 7:30pm On Sep 08, 2015
debosky:
If the husband is physically abusive, then obviously there's a serious problem beyond 'marrying right'. I don't think a 'mere' temper can result in beating only after marriage. It must surely have been present prior to marriage but missed.

Maybe it's an extreme example but I know most women undergoing physical abuse didn't experience it during courtship yet it has become a constant thing after marriage.

In terms of 'marrying right', it's down to both your mindsets and attitudes. You will ALWAYS find out things after marriage that you didn't expect - the way you respond/manage those issues determines whether you'll be considered to have 'married right' or not. Yes sufficient common ground must exist, but that isn't enough as even two people socialised in the same environment will have their own individual personality traits/habits which may rub the partner up the wrong way.
I am tempted to look at things more from this angle too because I am not sure there is one perfect person out there that one should marry to have a perfect marriage or be deemed to have "married right".

***This is in no way saying one should just marry anybody o. Some things should definitely be non-negotiable

As always people can and should have what they won't accept/tolerate and make them known and clear to potential mates prior to marriage. My advice is don't rush into it and give yourself enough time for the love to stop 'shacking' you so you can see road before you sign the dotted line. grin
lol..I believe this will help a lot but still, there are no guarantees. May God help us all.

@ TV - I'll look at those threads and revert.

@Bellong - you just did what I was talking about. You said "marrying right" is the simple answer to the problem. I disagree jor! While I agree that the foundation should be solid, I will say marrying right is more about the daily and effective handling of issues as they come up and not about marrying "mr perfect".

@Nashville - welcome back. I think women need to hear what you just said. Sometimes, it's not like the man does not want to help, it's just that we require the help at the wrong time. I must confess I am also guilty of this. Wanting things done at my own time and getting the job done myself if it doesn't happen when I want it. Noted!

@edwife - I guess you are one hell of a superwoman. House chores tires me out like crazy. I must be one of the executives of the lazy wives association.

@ Damiso - eyin iyaa tun de ooo e tun ti de o tongue tongue
Lol...but how do you exercise so much with this condition? I am also anaemic but I experience it more during pregnancy or when I run/jog. I used to be very good in sprints, but I was advised to stop cuz of "short breaths". Maybe you should exercise less. Pele

@coogar - I agree with you. Let's us go back to the traditional model...wetin sef tongue grin

@Pick - further to what Debosky said, some simple issues escalate after marriage and they are not necessarily foundational issues. My opinion though
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by NashvilleTN: 7:37pm On Sep 08, 2015
edwife:


Welcome back Nashville. smiley

Madam edwife,

How are you. Happy to see all your good work here. I check from time to time and read from you.

How family
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by coogar: 7:38pm On Sep 08, 2015

@coogar - I agree with you. Let's us go back to the traditional model...wetin sef

now you are talking.....
i have just ordered a village mortar for my missus. there's a reason her creator gave her 2 muscular forearms.
we are going back to the traditional model. grin
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Kimoni: 7:42pm On Sep 08, 2015
coogar:


now you are talking.....
i have just ordered a village mortar for my missus. there's a reason her creator gave her 2 muscular forearms.
we are going back to the traditional model. grin

Lollllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's men that pound in Ijebuland ooo, women only share the dough and wash all washables tongue
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by coogar: 7:47pm On Sep 08, 2015
Kimoni:


Lollllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's men that pound in Ijebuland ooo, women only share the dough and wash all washables tongue

that is ijebu.....
this is the you-kay. smiley
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by edwife(f): 7:48pm On Sep 08, 2015
NashvilleTN:


Madam edwife,

How are you. Happy to see all your good work here. I check from time to time and read from you.

How family

Aww that very nice of you.We are all doing great by his grace,hope yours is great too?
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 7:54pm On Sep 08, 2015
BoboYekini:
The only reason I saw this movie to the end was because it was Tom Hardy. I fully expected it to turn into a thriller/action at some point. Alas.
As far as I'm concerned, the only men who should/may leave their jobs to be present for their child's birth are reality TV guys, like the Kardashians or something. I don't care if his father abandoned him in the back of a moving trailer.

Hehehe. That's the reason I deicide to watch past the first five minutes. Though, by the time he called home and had the conversation about missing the game I knew it was going to be that sort of movie like Speed wink. I readied for that, but still thought we were going to see Bethan and the child. Alas

Anyway, I thought it was a foolish thing to do. Sabotaging his life that was certainly uncalled for. He didn't really need to be there at the birthing, his absence that day would not negatively affect any relationship with the child in any way. I was pissed he threw his life away.

However, a thought struck me and my anger turned to pity. I realised that he overreacted out of a need to over compensate for his father's foibles. We can see that he never truly healed from the abandonment he felt. He tried to mask it but it became obvious it was still an issue for him. There are a million ways he could have handled that same situation with far more favourable outcomes.

But why I started this thread, is because, far more than we realise, this narrative continually happens in real life. Aggrieved sons over-compensating for their fathers' failures and indiscretions to the point of committing their own grave mistakes on the other extreme--having differing but damaging results.

This reminded me of an article about manginas and white knights being men with mostly "daddy issues" trying to better their fathers, which has led to the sort of marriage-divorce laws in the west,etc. So, I'm looking at this movie from that perspective. What do you think?
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Kimoni: 7:56pm On Sep 08, 2015
coogar:


that is ijebu.....
this is the you-kay. smiley

When you are in Rome, behave like a Roman

No pounding in you-kay

We eat only burger in mancunian land cheesy
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by freecocoa(f): 7:57pm On Sep 08, 2015
coogar:


now you are talking.....
i have just ordered a village mortar for my missus. there's a reason her creator gave her 2 muscular forearms.
we are going back to the traditional model. grin
You are not well, so you won't mind your woman's arm looking like that of Serena?
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by freecocoa(f): 8:00pm On Sep 08, 2015
Kimoni:
TV01 et al. - There is something that confuses me about this "marrying right" of a thing. And fortunately, it has come up severally in past discussions esp this last one.

My confusion is this - as an aspiring single wanting to get married, couples are told there is no perfect person but they should only look for someone who they share a lot in common or/and someone who has weaknesses they can live with. Like we say, a guy or lady who is looking for a partner that completely ticks his/her box will most likely never get married. right?

But more often than not, it is those weaknesses that we thought were minor and we could live with that manifest itself to be the major problem in the marriage.

Example - A guy is very loving, caring, focused, intelligent...but he has a temper. That seems to be his major weakness. During courtship, the lady saw a bit of this guy's temper but he always comes round without much effort. And even though she has her reservations about it, she has been advised and doesn't think it should be a deal breaker considering his other qualities. I would say I agree with her here.

But on getting married, this little monkey continues to grow bigger and it grows to a stage where the temper now results in constant physical abuse. And therein lies my confusion. Can it be said that the girl didn't marry right? Is it her fault in any way for knowing that the guy had a temper but forged ahead to marry him thinking the problem would go away? Should intending couples see the 'minor' faults of their partners from a pessimistic point of view? Would we all get married if we think like this? Saga ( lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed) comes to my mind now.

I sincerely need some understanding here.
I wouldn't consider a temper problem as a minor one, that's a huge problem the way I see it.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by coogar: 8:02pm On Sep 08, 2015
Kimoni:


When you are in Rome, behave like a Roman

No pounding in you-kay

We eat only burger in mancunian land cheesy

my neighbours don't mind.....
they like the sound of pounding....it reminds them of konga music. grin

freecocoa:
You are not well, so you won't mind your woman's arm looking like that of Serena?

i actually find serena's arms sexy. cheesy
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by freecocoa(f): 8:03pm On Sep 08, 2015
coogar:


my neighbours don't mind.....
they like the sound of pounding....it reminds them of konga music. grin



i actually find serena's arms sexy. cheesy
Liar, you know you don't mean that.cheesy
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Kimoni: 8:05pm On Sep 08, 2015
freecocoa:
I wouldn't consider a temper problem as a minor one, that's a huge problem the way I see it.

I know but recall I said he gets over it without much effort/stress...would it still be a deal breaker?
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by coogar: 8:12pm On Sep 08, 2015
freecocoa:
Liar, you know you don't mean that.cheesy

i mean it very much
imagine such arms around a man during winter......with those arms, a man does not need a duvet! grin
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by freecocoa(f): 8:13pm On Sep 08, 2015
Kimoni:


I know but recall I said he gets over it without much effort/stress...would it still be a deal breaker?
It will be for me o, that's one of the things I detest in a man, I find it very annoying.grin

I mean, why get angry over any small thing in the first place? That's what I'll think, I'll be wondering, how does this one reason.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by freecocoa(f): 8:15pm On Sep 08, 2015
coogar:


i mean it very much
imagine such arms around a man during winter......with those arms, a man does not need a duvet! grin
Lmao grin.

Be serious jor, I thought men like very soft skin on their women, no?
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Kimoni: 8:26pm On Sep 08, 2015
freecocoa:
It will be for me o, that's one of the things I detest in a man, I find it very annoying.grin

I mean, why get angry over any small thing in the first place? That's what I'll think, I'll be wondering, how does this one reason.

Lol...for me, it will be more of how me manages it. If the anger leaves a tail of woes behind, then I'm out but if he is able to manage it well, then it's fine with me. I look at it that we all have weaknesses but managing those weaknesses is the key.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by Nobody: 8:45pm On Sep 08, 2015
Timbuktou:


Hehehe. That's the reason I deicide to watch past the first five minutes. Though, by the time he called home and had the conversation about missing the game I knew it was going to be that sort of movie like Speed wink. I readied for that, but still thought we were going to see Bethan and the child. Alas

Anyway, I thought it was a foolish thing to do. Sabotaging his life that was certainly uncalled for. He didn't really need to be there at the birthing, his absence that day would not negatively affect any relationship with the child in any way. I was pissed he threw his life away.

However, a thought struck me and my anger turned to pity. I realised that he overreacted out of a need to over compensate for his father's foibles. We can see that he never truly healed from the abandonment he felt. He tried to mask it but it became obvious it was still an issue for him. There are a million ways he could have handled that same situation with far more favourable outcomes.

But why I started this thread, is because, far more than we realise, this narrative continually happens in real life. Aggrieved sons over-compensating for their fathers' failures and indiscretions to the point of committing their own grave mistakes on the other extreme--having differing but damaging results.

This reminded me of an article about manginas and white knights being men with mostly "daddy issues" trying to better their fathers, which has led to the sort of marriage-divorce laws in the west,etc. So, I'm looking at this movie from that perspective. What do you think?
Yes I see your angle. Makes perfect sense that white Knighting can be caused by unresolved daddy issues, but Locke was a walking(driving) contradiction. While his abandonment of his prestigious job was beta male behavior, one could argue that his calm handling of the different situations with his work subordinate, his superior and even the nurse on the phone was exquisite Don Draper.
Anyway, speaking of the skewed marriage-divorce laws in the West, I completely agree that they have been pushed by feminists and manginas. It's simply to be expected that in this age of computer driven success, that more beta males will get to power and positions where they can influence the laws, people like Zuckerberg. And Seun lol.
Beta is the new alpha.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by freecocoa(f): 8:53pm On Sep 08, 2015
Kimoni:


Lol...for me, it will be more of how me manages it. If the anger leaves a tail of woes behind, then I'm out but if he is able to manage it well, then it's fine with me. I look at it that we all have weaknesses but managing those weaknesses is the key.

That's the beauty of our individuality.smiley

I just believe that people who easily get offended aren't really nice people, I mean from my point of view, you have to make room for people's excesses to an extent and if one always reacts to everything done to them, it will ruin a lot of things, especially as the offender may have just made a honest mistake, so it's best not to react immediately till you are certain the action taken is worth the anger.

I'll consider things like, not being big on sharing, bad table manners, bad dress sense, mouth odourgrin, poor hygiene(this one to some level shaundecided), as minor because these things can be changed or managed better/easier than temper can.
Re: Boys Night Out Discussions by damiso(f): 9:11pm On Sep 08, 2015
Thank you Kimoni kiss

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