Theflint1:
Hello Bro, you got a link to where I can get the e-book for free? Tried searching for it online and found none.

Olarewajub:
You're not alone Bro, i can relate to what you just typed. I will recommend you read the book "Quiet". Going to be of great help.

MissMalia:
A friend discussed the issue she's presently experiencing in her relationship with me but I'm yet to give her a reply as I don't know what to say. She found herself dating a guy who is an introvert and so self conscious. The issue is that,they both school in the East and left school due to holidays last month. The girl is in Ogun state right now while the guy is in lagos. A week after they left school, she was d one doing the calling but later got tired and voiced out to the guy. His response was that he is doing a training which has been keeping him busy and he apologised but never changed so she complained again this time using her sister as an excuse. She told d guy that her sister is complaining that how can she be dating a guy who will never call her while ignoring odas who won't do without calling. He gave the response* then follow what your sister said. You know I don't have much dating experience and moreso, I already told you before we left school that I may not be calling everytime and also, you know calling is not my thing*. After the conversation that night, he never changed so she complained to his closest friend and he called only once for just 1min. Since then, she decided not to call him also but she is missing him badly as they still have a month before they can both see each other again.Infact,he is already making plans with his friends towards his forth coming birthday party next month without telling the lady nor did he involve her. She was told by his friend whom Is this a normal thing with introverts? Do you guys find it hard to talk on phone? Cos I don't get. Now the issue is like this, what do you as an introvert suggest?

Tabelachizza:
Goodmorning peeps!!!

Dnt even knw whether am tired of my self:: Here in the hostel,the only connection I have wt my room-mates are greetings,apart 4rm dat,we dnt talk abt any other things;;I make sure that I have virtually everything I need to avoid talking to them in the name of asking for something**
Some Course mates term you a SNUB,if only dey wl understand my kind of person::
Seriously having problems in my relationship Cos if he don't call, I WON'T call::A Distant relationship though,even at the edge of breaking up now:Really wanna make things right by visiting him but don't know how to tell him cos he has been inviting since january,i turned him down:: I pray for God's Direction ::
People will term you as being PROUD!!! Mood swings is my Nafdac number **
NAIRALAND HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY SOLACE#

MissMalia:
A friend discussed the issue she's presently experiencing in her relationship with me but I'm yet to give her a reply as I don't know what to say. She found herself dating a guy who is an introvert and so self conscious. The issue is that,they both school in the East and left school due to holidays last month. The girl is in Ogun state right now while the guy is in lagos. A week after they left school, she was d one doing the calling but later got tired and voiced out to the guy. His response was that he is doing a training which has been keeping him busy and he apologised but never changed so she complained again this time using her sister as an excuse. She told d guy that her sister is complaining that how can she be dating a guy who will never call her while ignoring odas who won't do without calling. He gave the response* then follow what your sister said. You know I don't have much dating experience and moreso, I already told you before we left school that I may not be calling everytime and also, you know calling is not my thing*. After the conversation that night, he never changed so she complained to his closest friend and he called only once for just 1min. Since then, she decided not to call him also but she is missing him badly as they still have a month before they can both see each other again.Infact,he is already making plans with his friends towards his forth coming birthday party next month without telling the lady nor did he involve her. She was told by his friend whom Is this a normal thing with introverts? Do you guys find it hard to talk on phone? Cos I don't get. Now the issue is like this, what do you as an introvert suggest?

MissMalia:
A friend discussed the issue she's presently experiencing in her relationship with me but I'm yet to give her a reply as I don't know what to say. She found herself dating a guy who is an introvert and so self conscious. The issue is that,they both school in the East and left school due to holidays last month. The girl is in Ogun state right now while the guy is in lagos. A week after they left school, she was d one doing the calling but later got tired and voiced out to the guy. His response was that he is doing a training which has been keeping him busy and he apologised but never changed so she complained again this time using her sister as an excuse. She told d guy that her sister is complaining that how can she be dating a guy who will never call her while ignoring odas who won't do without calling. He gave the response* then follow what your sister said. You know I don't have much dating experience and moreso, I already told you before we left school that I may not be calling everytime and also, you know calling is not my thing*. After the conversation that night, he never changed so she complained to his closest friend and he called only once for just 1min. Since then, she decided not to call him also but she is missing him badly as they still have a month before they can both see each other again.Infact,he is already making plans with his friends towards his forth coming birthday party next month without telling the lady nor did he involve her. She was told by his friend whom Is this a normal thing with introverts? Do you guys find it hard to talk on phone? Cos I don't get. Now the issue is like this, what do you as an introvert suggest?

Geofavor:

Trust me, talking over the phone can be so difficult and weird for introverts. This is because they mostly don't know what to talk about for long. Especially with a stranger or someone who affects their emotions.
It seems your friend is extroverted, so she wouldn't understand the guy.
if she trully likes him a lot, she can help him loosen up by becoming his best friend.

And how can she achieve that?

(1) she should know the guy's interests;
If she understands the things the guy likes the most, the problem of short-lived conversations will be greatly reduced. Introverts subconsciously become talkative when they are totally "crazy" about the issue being discussed.
Say for instance, the guy is a die-hard football fan - she should always bring up football issues whenever they talk. She should be(or maybe just seem) very interested in it as well.
This way, the guy will see her as one of his male buddies, thus relieving him of the emotional stress. Though that special feeling he has for her will still be there. As a matter of fact, it will increase.


(2) assurance;
She should assure the guy that she understands him. She should let him know that she knows about his introversion, and that it's okay.she should go about this gently, gradually allowing him talk about those things that are intimate to him.
Once this is achieved, the guy will become much more comfortable around her, as he will feel he has nothing to hide from her. He will feel your friend probably understands him more than anyone.
This is because introverts want friends, but not too much friends. You can't easily become friends with an introvert. You'll have to do a little work to gain the trust of an introvert. You'll have to do little work to be among his/her little amount of friends.
And it's not that he/she does this deliberately, no! It's just the introverted nature.


So when she gains his full trust, this is when she will be bombarded with both relevant and irrelevant talks. especially when he's happy.
But note that this might not change his introverted nature, but he will certainly pay more attention to her freely; give her more calls, invite her over, and so on.



But even before anything, she should be certain the guy really likes her. Let it not be that she's forcing herself on him.

MissMalia:
Thanks so much 4 dis. I copied nd sent d whole of dis to her. Her response was dt she knows d guy love her so much. He even gave her a call dis evening nd introduced her to his friend but guess wat? He ended d call after d introductn was over. Dis is exactly wat get her confused. D fact dt he won't call nd if @all he wuld, it won't last more dan 1 38mins. I.e he wuld hang up after knowing she's ok nd notin is bothering. Nd he does d calling probably 2ce in a month. Anoda tin is dt he expects her to always call him whenever she has sometin 2 say bt weneva it seems she just call 2 hear his voice,he wuld tell her nt to worry abt him nd sae *is dt all u av 2 sae?* You can imagine such kind of question.

Geofavor:

you're welcome.
most introverts don't like to talk unless they feel it's important.
In this guy's case, what's important to him is that your friend is okay. This is why he cuts the call as soon as that is confirmed.
Anyother talks aside that will seem unnecessary to him, and it will be hardwork for him to keep up with the conversation from then on.
For an introvert, a phone call is like an official call - strictly business. ( unless with very close friends with which they share common interests. E.g football, music, career path nd so on)


That he even manages to call twice a month is because it is imperative that he knows his bae is okay. He would have tried to call many times, but the thought would often come to his mind; "what would we be talking about"? He'll try but he won't be able to.
This could be because he's not TOTALLY free with her yet.
this is why she has to consider using those tips i suggested before.

Ogun state is not that far from lagos. She can call him, give him a good excuse to come visit him. He might feel reluctant about it, but deep within him he'd really appreciate it. She should try those tips each time they are together.

He's an introvert, he will only veer away from his introverted behavior towards her when she becomes his(or one of his) close buddy(ies).

I'm sure the guy has maybe one or two friends he talks to almost all the time.
An introvert can only manage to bend the rules of introversion and become extroverted when with people very close to him. People who know him totally.

Tabelachizza:
Goodmorning peeps!!!

Dnt even knw whether am tired of my self:: Here in the hostel,the only connection I have wt my room-mates are greetings,apart 4rm dat,we dnt talk abt any other things;;I make sure that I have virtually everything I need to avoid talking to them in the name of asking for something**
Some Course mates term you a SNUB,if only dey wl understand my kind of person::
Seriously having problems in my relationship Cos if he don't call, I WON'T call::A Distant relationship though,even at the edge of breaking up now:Really wanna make things right by visiting him but don't know how to tell him cos he has been inviting since january,i turned him down:: I pray for God's Direction ::
People will term you as being PROUD!!! Mood swings is my Nafdac number **
NAIRALAND HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY SOLACE#

Tabelachizza:
Goodmorning peeps!!!

Dnt even knw whether am tired of my self:: Here in the hostel,the only connection I have wt my room-mates are greetings,apart 4rm dat,we dnt talk abt any other things;;I make sure that I have virtually everything I need to avoid talking to them in the name of asking for something**
Some Course mates term you a SNUB,if only dey wl understand my kind of person::
Seriously having problems in my relationship Cos if he don't call, I WON'T call::A Distant relationship though,even at the edge of breaking up now:Really wanna make things right by visiting him but don't know how to tell him cos he has been inviting since january,i turned him down:: I pray for God's Direction

Geofavor:

you're welcome.
most introverts don't like to talk unless they feel it's important.
In this guy's case, what's important to him is that your friend is okay. This is why he cuts the call as soon as that is confirmed.
Anyother talks aside that will seem unnecessary to him, and it will be hardwork for him to keep up with the conversation from then on.
For an introvert, a phone call is like an official call - strictly business. ( unless with very close friends with which they share common interests. E.g football, music, career path nd so on)


He would have tried to call many times, but the thought would often come to his mind; "what would we be talking about"? He'll try but he won't be able to.
This could be because he's not TOTALLY free with her yet.

Olarewajub:
.

nawtibownie:
Are you a member of toastmasters club?

RICKYMARIO:
Someone once called me a pretender because of the way i talk and play @ home whereas once i get outside i become icewater.

Theflint1:
Hello Bro, you got a link to where I can get the e-book for free? Tried searching for it online and found none.

Jollyjoy:
Am new here!!not much of an introvert tho not extrovert either.. Just in between so am i welcome here

Geofavor:

yeah it happens.
you should try to loosen up once in a while, though.
if you're opportune to go, you can decide gradually to do it just for the essence of talking to others.

Tabelachizza:
Goodmorning peeps!!!

Dnt even knw whether am tired of my self:: Here in the hostel,the only connection I have wt my room-mates are greetings,apart 4rm dat,we dnt talk abt any other things;;I make sure that I have virtually everything I need to avoid talking to them in the name of asking for something**
Some Course mates term you a SNUB,if only dey wl understand my kind of person::
Seriously having problems in my relationship Cos if he don't call, I WON'T call::A Distant relationship though,even at the edge of breaking up now:Really wanna make things right by visiting him but don't know how to tell him cos he has been inviting since january,i turned him down:: I pray for God's Direction ::
People will term you as being PROUD!!! Mood swings is my Nafdac number **
NAIRALAND HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY SOLACE#

Just curious, will you feel at home or be open to someone who exhibits all these too?

Yellowson:
Mehn my own type of introvert bad gahn, i don't like when an occasion turns too public and i dont really like meeting people. Staying by myself is what i want no matter sometimes i will picture how it will be to go out with a VIP. Sometimes i feel like it has turned to phobia esp wen ladies are involved.i might be dying for a girl but i will never ever tell the girl to meet her self talk another topic na mission impossible. My phone is both my girlfriend and all in all,i can chat up with a girl date her do all sorts of thing and the girl will fall for me but to meet her and show her that i love her i will turn to a slowpoke. Dis has made me to be sometimes ignored as a reasonable person in the department ladies will snub my life out of me sometimes,well mah stop here for now coz so many things has happened to me coz of my nature.

This is serious. Will you feel at home or be open to
someone who exhibits all these too?

An2elect2:


This is serious. Will you feel at home or be open to
someone who exhibits all these too?