@ Barcanista wrote a long epistle on this scandal and while I may agree with his position on some issues, I think he's totally WRONG on this and we should be careful lest we politicize a sensitive as this
I don't know both parties, only what I had read/ has being reading
Those old enough on Nairaland will recall the sugabelly character (not sure of her moniker) and also recall that she once put up a thread of an abusive boyfriend.
It was from her profile,I got a link to her blog which I checked out one lazy and was intrigued and had read it through Because unlike other blogs, these were Chronicles of a person's emotions from happening around her.
While I'll concede that yes, she's spiced it up a bit, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED
Her blog was set up wen she was 18 or so and she alluded to ALL she's mentioned here.
So except you'll say she can see the future/had planned this in advance, why would she chronicle such

Facts (as I know):
He initiated a Three some more than once WITH A MINOR
His cousin assaulted her while he was aware / probably his connivance (avoiding to use rape here)
There WAS Abuse..both mental and physical
The breakup was due to his jealousy of his cousin/friend whom had slept with her in the three some
Finally, she WAS a minor, so whether consensual or not, IT IS STILL STATUTORY RAPE

While am not excusing her (cos common sense is meant to be common), BUT I 've bin that age before and in love and have done some pretty stupid Shi.t.


Even If Half of the allegations is True, It Is Still Very Wrong What he did and yes, Statutory Rape Is RAPE.

Peace..



Ps.. blog is Sugabelly.com or so.. Read from the beginning
Cc: kagame, 5minutesmadness, efemenaxy

Good one dBard.

Truth is , most Nigerian men have at one point or another had sex with a minor so they see nothing wrong in that.

I pray and hope justice is served.

Like someone on NL said,there are 3 sides to the story.
Her side, his side and the truth.
.
Everything is muddled up now.... can't seem to get the head and tail of the whole issue.
I expected a straight forward story... but too many disjointed parts to the same story.

I've read through all the detail I could get my hands on, tweets, blog posts going as far back as 2008, emails e.t.c on this sugar belly and mustafa case and I've reached the following conclusions.

1. Their first sexual experience in the car was consensual by all accounts.

2. They became lovers and did the car screwing for a while.

3. After he took her home for the first time, it got kinkier seeing how agreeable and easy she was.

4. He took advantage of her love/infatuation and agreeability and introduced new dimensions to their relationship. threesomes, Orgies, gangbangs e.t.c

5. She really wasn't extremely into all that kinkiness, but she thought being agreeable will make her look cool and probably make mustafa love her more.

6. So she kept going back for more and more of that. But rather than love her, he despised her agreeability. He hated her for not standing up to herself and inflicted physical pain to go with it.

7. But she stuck around for the debasement till she left for college in the US.

8. While in the US, she 'd hoped that the relationship would continue, but it didn't. he hated her for what she was and gladly closed the page on her chapter.

9. She called persistently, sent loads of messages, texts e.t.c most of which he never bother to reply. She did all she could for 8 months to revive the relationship but the guy had lost interest.

10. And broke off with her officially to stem the flow of calls and messages. She was heartbroken.

11. Rather than move on, that incident brought in depression, humilation and extreme hatred.

12. A week after the break up, she wrote on her blog on how he dumped her and how she still loved him. There was also the first reference to emotional abuse on that post.

13. The humiliation of what she went through came back and started eating her up. Making her relieve the experience and recreate it to suit her current situation.



Did Mustafa take advantage of her? yes.

Did he abuse her physically and emotionally? yes.

Did he hate her? yes

Did he do gangbangs with her involved and his friends? yes

Was it consensual? yes!


The guy is a scum of the earth. He took advantage of an impressionable 17 year old and probably scarred her for life. But he didn't rape her.



And wait a minute, where did the guy's dad factor into all this? was he also part of the Group Intimacy. Especially since it was his death that excavated this brouhaha.

You know what I'm going to be controversial here. I blame the rapists 50% and I blame her useless excuse of parents 50%.

I have been following this story and trying to get to the bottom of how a 17 year old girl could have gone through all this with no one knowing. Apparently her father abandoned her and the mother used to take off and leave her to her own devices. Apparently her curfew at 17 years old was 12am . No parental guidance. I remember when I was 17, thunder fire me if I come home later than 8pm. I will stool down, kneel down, anything you can think off . If I was really late, na cane.

Yes I remember Sugabelly, even got into an argument with her once.
Premium times recently quoted a lawyer who said we have only made 18 ra.pe convictions in our legal history. Is this a serious country at all? The crime section alone on NL is riddled with ra..pe cases and we've only made 18 convictions?
We should be careful how we as a society are in haste to shut down victims of sexu.al violence. They deserve to be heard. It's left for the law courts to give their verdict. Unfortunately our courts have been a disappointment.

I saw an argument that Sugabelly is a slut etc. Our people need to evolve to know that a so-called slut, prostitu.te can be ra.ped o. A wife can also be rape.d. If Nigerian female legislators are serious they should take this as a project, expand the definitions of what constitute as ra.pe.

Also the argument that she has psychiatric problems that's why he dumped her bla bla. I'm not a lawyer, but in my field People with psychiatric problems are what we call vulnerable subjects and that would even worsen the accused defense, because a psychiatric patient saying yes does not mean you have the right to do whatever you want with them.

Amya:
I've read through all the detail I could get my hands on, tweets, blog posts going as far back as 2008, emails e.t.c on this sugar belly and mustafa case and I've reached the following conclusions.

1. Their first sexual experience in the car was consensual by all accounts.

2. They became lovers and did the car screwing for a while.

3. After he took her home for the first time, it got kinkier seeing how agreeable and easy she was.

4. He took advantage of her love/infatuation and agreeability and introduced new dimensions to their relationship. the. esomes, 0rgies, gangbangs e.t.c

5. She really wasn't extremely into all that kinkiness, but she thought being agreeable will make her look cool and probably make mustafa love her more.

6. So she kept going back for more and more of that. But rather than love her, he despised her agreeability. He hated was disgusted at/lost respect for her for not standing up to herself and inflicted physical pain to go with it.

7. But she stuck around for the debasement till she left for college in the US.

8. While in the US, she 'd hoped that the relationship would continue, but it didn't. he hatedwas disgusted at her for what she was and gladly closed the page on her chapter. She was never meant to be a long term relationship for him.

9. She called persistently, sent loads of messages, texts e.t.c most of which he never bother to reply. She did all she could for 8 months to revive the relationship but the guy had lost interest.

10. And broke off with her officially to stem the flow of calls and messages. She was heartbroken.

11. Rather than move on, that incident brought in depression, humilation and extreme hatred.

12. A week after the break up, she wrote on her blog on how he dumped her and how she still loved him. There was also the first reference to emotional abuse on that post.

13. The humiliation of what she went through came back and started eating her up. Making her relieve the experience and recreate it to suit her current situation.



Did Mustafa take advantage of her? yes.

Did he abuse her physically and emotionally? yes.

Did he hate her? yes

Did he do gangbangs with her involved and his friends? yes

Was it consensual? yes!


The guy is a scum of the earth. He took advantage of an impressionable 17 year old and probably scarred her for life. But he didn't rape her.



And wait a minute, where did the guy's dad factor into all this? was he also part of the Group Intimacy. Especially since it was his death that excavated this brouhaha.

Thank you for this summary.

fem29:
You know what I'm going to be controversial here. I blame the rapists 50% and I blame her useless excuse of parents 50%.

I have been following this story and trying to get to the bottom of how a 17 year old girl could have gone through all this with no one knowing. Apparently her father abandoned her and the mother used to take off and leave her to her own devices. Apparently her curfew at 17 years old was 12am . No parental guidance. I remember when I was 17, thunder fire me if I come home later than 8pm. I will stool down, kneel down, anything you can think off . If I was really late, na cane.

We are lucky we had parental guidance. Me I wasn't even allowed to go out.
If this is what is waiting for kids outside , I can now understand why my parents put us on lock down. may God help us. Didn't even know Nigerian men are already into threesomes, gang.bang etc. And these people are all married now with kids...

@Amya,

There were instances of threats and sex against her will. The fact that she did it before and may have even enjoyed it, does not now mean she agreed to every sex.ual encounter with the guys. So Rap.e indeed occur.

Here are some of her excerpts...
Even after he was fired in April of 2007, at the end of each work day, he would show up outside our office on Amazon street to whisk me away. I would step outside the gate, and he would be there in his red Mercedes, waiting, demanding I get in.

I was terrified that my refusal would mean the exposure of the pictures he had taken of me early in our relationship, photos I told him not to take, but he did anyway, photos in which I was naked and vulnerable.

I had so much to be fearful of. The thought of the videos Abdul recorded of Mustapha and Tunji raping me seeing the light of day filled me with sheer terror. The alternative was keeping it all secret, and so I did.

His brother Bashir, was the same age as me, and Mustapha decided, that one way or the other, it was his duty as big brother to rid Bashir of his virginity. At what was supposed to be a casual get together for suya and drinks at Tunji’s house, he dragged Bashir and me into the bedroom, and pushed us inside, saying to Bashir “Bleep her!” before locking the door, and leaving me alone in the darkness with his brother.

All my pleas to Mustapha were in vain, and the only thing we heard from Mustapha from the other side of the door was “Don’t let me come back and find out you’re still a virgin.”

On a different date, his cousin, Jibril raped me in that same room. I screamed, and screamed, and fought, and struggled, eventually sticking my fingers into his nose, and biting his hands. In retaliation, he bit me hard on the nose, and later that night, I explained away the swelling on my nose I came home with as an unfortunate meeting with the edge of a swimming pool.
http://sugabellyrocks.com/2015/11/surviving-mustapha-audu-and-his-rape-brigade.html

Bùllshit. The girl is an attention-seeking scorned ex. She wasn't rapèd, unless you want to get technical and cite statutory rapè which, interestingly, isn't what she's even complaining about. Obviously, she's just a mentally unstable bitter ex out for blood. She wasn't forced to engage in any of those activities, and then she repeatedly went back for more and more and more. And now we're screaming blue murder? Really? How about not having a midnight curfew for a 17 year old woman? How about saying no to fuçking someone you barely know in his car of all places, and she repeatedly uses the word fùck and it's varieties freely and that is the kind of person to have sympathy on? Never mind she wasn't a virgin when she met the guy and he most likely wasn't even her 5th partner, at 17 years of age. Any sympathy accorded her by anyone is a waste. And she was was travelling all around the world at his expense? What a poor defenseless naive damsel. Someone asked if she would been so naive with a broke dude. Do you agents of social moral outage think she'd have taken all this from someone whose father didnt have a big hotel in Abuja, or who didn't have a cool Mercedes, or fly her around the world? Lol. Sorry, no pity for her here.

Common sense is no longer common.
Will expantiate when I am less busy.

@stillfire,

In a normal society, a 25 year old man having kinky. affairs with a 17 year old girl would have had his arse in jail by now. But we're in Nigeria... so her morals are to be judged. I mean, he could have waited till the following year and done as he pleased and whilst it would have been immoral, it would certainly not be illegal. But everyone is falling over themselves to defend. an illegal relationship.

It doesn't matter if. she rode to his office on a camel and offered herself wearing nothing but a Persian rug and had slept with the entire U-17 football team before then, the Nigerian Constitution says that it is illegal for an adult. male. to. take advantage of her stvpidity. He should have controlled himself till she was of legal age and therefore presumed to be adult enough to make that decision. But yeah, him breaking the law is not important, let's focus on her morals and her parenting.

Next time I see any thread in which someone rapes a minor, I shall certainly congratulate the accused. He's innocent until the underage minor can prove to us that she didn't deserve it. After all, a 10 year old in a spaghetti-strap top is clearly asking for "it" in Nigerian society. And just let me hear anyone hashtag #ChildNotBride, i'll insult them. We need. more 13 year old happily married women...

Timbuktou:
Bùllshit. The girl is an attention-seeking scorned ex. She wasn't rapèd, unless you want to get technical and cite statutory rapè which, interestingly, isn't what she's even complaining about. Obviously, she's just a mentally unstable bitter ex out for blood. She wasn't forced to engage in any of those activities, and then she repeatedly went back for more and more and more. And now we're screaming blue murder? Really? How about not having a midnight curfew for a 17 year old woman? How about saying no to fuçking someone you barely know in his car of all places, and she repeatedly uses the word fùck and it's varieties freely and that is the kind of person to have sympathy on? Never mind she wasn't a virgin when she met the guy and he most likely wasn't even her 5th partner, at 17 years of age. Any sympathy accorded her by anyone is a waste. And she was was travelling all around the world at his expense? What a poor defenseless naive damsel. Someone asked if she would been so naive with a broke dude. Do you agents of social moral outage think she'd have taken all this from someone whose father didnt have a big hotel in Abuja, or who didn't have a cool Mercedes, or fly her around the world? Lol. Sorry, no pity for her here.

Guy...forget the babes matter for a second, she does not seem to have had any upbringing to speak of. The guy nko? he should have known better, imagine a 25 year old guy chasing a 17 year old girl, he will just be playing with her brain the way kids play with Plasticine.

Would you allow your 17 year old daughter to be in a relationship with a 25 year old man?

Onegai:
@stillfire,

In a normal society, a 25 year old man having kinky. affairs with a 17 year old girl would have had his arse in jail by now. But we're in Nigeria... so her morals are to be judged. I mean, he could have waited till the following year and done as he pleased and whilst it would have been immoral, it would certainly not be illegal. But everyone is falling over themselves to defend. an illegal relationship.

It doesn't matter if. she rode to his office on a camel and offered herself wearing nothing but a Persian rug and had slept with the entire U-17 football team before then, the Nigerian Constitution says that it is illegal for an adult. male. to. take advantage of her stvpidity. He should have controlled himself till she was of legal age and therefore presumed to be adult enough to make that decision. But yeah, him breaking the law is not important, let's focus on her morals and her parenting.

Next time I see any thread in which someone rapes a minor, I shall certainly congratulate the accused. He's innocent until the underage minor can prove to us that she didn't deserve it. After all, a 10 year old in a spaghetti-strap top is clearly asking for "it" in Nigerian society. And just let me hear anyone hashtag #ChildNotBride, i'll insult them. We need. more 13 year old happily married women...

Damn!

@Onegai . One chilled stout and peppersoup for you

Thank you

Stillfire:
Yes I remember Sugabelly, even got into an argument with her once.
Premium times recently quoted a lawyer who said we have only made 18 ra.pe convictions in our legal history. Is this a serious country at all? The crime section alone on NL is riddled with ra..pe cases and we've only made 18 convictions?
We should be careful how we as a society are in haste to shut down victims of sexu.al violence. They deserve to be heard. It's left for the law courts to give their verdict. Unfortunately our courts have been a disappointment.

I saw an argument that Sugabelly is a slut etc. Our people need to evolve to know that a so-called slut, prostitu.te can be ra.ped o. A wife can also be rape.d. If Nigerian female legislators are serious they should take this as a project, expand the definitions of what constitute as ra.pe.

Also the argument that she has psychiatric problems that's why he dumped her bla bla. I'm not a lawyer, but in my field People with psychiatric problems are what we call vulnerable subjects and that would even worsen the accused defense, because a psychiatric patient saying yes does not mean you have the right to do whatever you want with them.

One does get tired of saying the same thing over and over again.

Well said

Onegai:
@stillfire,

In a normal society, a 25 year old man having kinky. affairs with a 17 year old girl would have had his arse in jail by now. But we're in Nigeria... so her morals are to be judged. I mean, he could have waited till the following year and done as he pleased and whilst it would have been immoral, it would certainly not be illegal. But everyone is falling over themselves to defend. an illegal relationship.

It doesn't matter if. she rode to his office on a camel and offered herself wearing nothing but a Persian rug and had slept with the entire U-17 football team before then, the Nigerian Constitution says that it is illegal for an adult. male. to. take advantage of her stvpidity. He should have controlled himself till she was of legal age and therefore presumed to be adult enough to make that decision. But yeah, him breaking the law is not important, let's focus on her morals and her parenting.

Next time I see any thread in which someone rapes a minor, I shall certainly congratulate the accused. He's innocent until the underage minor can prove to us that she didn't deserve it. After all, a 10 year old in a spaghetti-strap top is clearly asking for "it" in Nigerian society. And just let me hear anyone hashtag #ChildNotBride, i'll insult them. We need. more 13 year old happily married women...

Why is nobody lambasting the boy's upbringing?

After all his parents are 'respectable' members of society. seeing as he was older he should have known better. and yes the girl was easy but isn't he worse for even being more than easy?
He had the guts to be 'disgusted' at someone who was less into a way of life that was his customized signature to start with. The hypocrisy.

Don't be surprised that very soon one his other victims will summon courage and speak up.

Onegai:
@stillfire,

In a normal society, a 25 year old man having kinky. affairs with a 17 year old girl would have had his arse in jail by now. But we're in Nigeria... so her morals are to be judged. I mean, he could have waited till the following year and done as he pleased and whilst it would have been immoral, it would certainly not be illegal. But everyone is falling over themselves to defend. an illegal relationship.

It doesn't matter if. she rode to his office on a camel and offered herself wearing nothing but a Persian rug and had slept with the entire U-17 football team before then, the Nigerian Constitution says that it is illegal for an adult. male. to. take advantage of her stvpidity. He should have controlled himself till she was of legal age and therefore presumed to be adult enough to make that decision. But yeah, him breaking the law is not important, let's focus on her morals and her parenting.

Next time I see any thread in which someone rapes a minor, I shall certainly congratulate the accused. He's innocent until the underage minor can prove to us that she didn't deserve it. After all, a 10 year old in a spaghetti-strap top is clearly asking for "it" in Nigerian society. And just let me hear anyone hashtag #ChildNotBride, i'll insult them. We need. more 13 year old happily married women...

Thank you.
This country and d inherent hypocrisy simply disgusts me.

My question is, why do we always act so hypocritically in this country
Why d tendency to judge the messenger instead of the message.
Have got Beremx and co lambasting her @ 17 for not knowing beta.
Imagine?? A girl infatuated
This whole is is tiring, n like cococandy asked, why isn't the focus on the boy and his parents

..and Why o Why Hasn't He Bin Arrested for Questioning

Obviously some folks think boys are allowed to be immoral.
There's nothing wrong with it.

dBard:
My question is, why do we always act so hypocritically in this country
Why d tendency to judge the messenger instead of the message.
Have got Beremx and co lambasting her @ 17 for not knowing beta.
Imagine?? A girl infatuated
This whole is is tiring, n like cococandy asked, why isn't the focus on the boy and his parents

..and Why o Why Hasn't He Bin Arrested for Questioning

She might be 17 but that doesn't stop her from saying No a 25 year old. She is not entirely innocent period.

Stillfire:
@Amya,

There were instances of threats and sex against her will. The fact that she did it before and may have even enjoyed it, does not now mean she agreed to every sex.ual encounter with the guys. So Rap.e indeed occur.

Here are some of her excerpts...
Even after he was fired in April of 2007, at the end of each work day, he would show up outside our office on Amazon street to whisk me away. I would step outside the gate, and he would be there in his red Mercedes, waiting, demanding I get in.

I was terrified that my refusal would mean the exposure of the pictures he had taken of me early in our relationship, photos I told him not to take, but he did anyway, photos in which I was naked and vulnerable.

I had so much to be fearful of. The thought of the videos Abdul recorded of Mustapha and Tunji raping me seeing the light of day filled me with sheer terror. The alternative was keeping it all secret, and so I did.

His brother Bashir, was the same age as me, and Mustapha decided, that one way or the other, it was his duty as big brother to rid Bashir of his virginity. At what was supposed to be a casual get together for suya and drinks at Tunji’s house, he dragged Bashir and me into the bedroom, and pushed us inside, saying to Bashir “Bleep her!” before locking the door, and leaving me alone in the darkness with his brother.

All my pleas to Mustapha were in vain, and the only thing we heard from Mustapha from the other side of the door was “Don’t let me come back and find out you’re still a virgin.”

On a different date, his cousin, Jibril raped me in that same room. I screamed, and screamed, and fought, and struggled, eventually sticking my fingers into his nose, and biting his hands. In retaliation, he bit me hard on the nose, and later that night, I explained away the swelling on my nose I came home with as an unfortunate meeting with the edge of a swimming pool.
http://sugabellyrocks.com/2015/11/surviving-mustapha-audu-and-his-rape-brigade.html

Ah! seems your haven't gone through her 2008 blog post then. That's where all the truth lies.

What you don't get is that the girl desperately wanted to appear cool. She wanted to be this enlightened soul and went about it all the wrong way. Leave all that stories about how he had her nude picture and intended to blackmail her with it. That's all face saving strategy. She was kinda obsessed with the guy and like a zombie would do anything he asked. The humiliation came in when he dumped her after her supposed "sacrifices" for him.

Reading her story has made me shake..The amount of depravity in Nigeria is sickening & the funniest part is that we cloak it well well with spirituality,sounding off about morals.

The simple fact is that MANY nigerian males do not know what statutory ra pe is.They do not understand what ra pe is.If a lady is not screaming and fighting then they will never accept it's ra pe.If you wear short clothes - you are begging for it.If you walk alone at night,you will be blamed.If you have had se x before,you cannot be raped.It's amazing really!!

If people google stockholm syndrome- (A condition where a victim identifies with the perpetrator even to the extent of defending them),they will understand why she kept on going back.
This girl had no father figure and an absentee mother,it's not surprising that at 17 she would fall into the hands of a predator.At 17,she'd be in ss3 or a fresher in Uni.No guidance at all while a 25 year old grandpa preyed on her emotions,groomed her well well and introduced her to the world of perversion.In this kind of situation,being in love with such a man and suffering from low self esteem added to a dysfunctional home is a lethal combination.She'd be willing to do ANYTHING he asked for as long as he kept on assuring her of his love twisted as that sounds this sort of thing happens.People do not understand he psychological hold an abuser holds over their victim.

On the issue of morals i see the holy brigade rounded on her calling her a slut.Forgetting the useless man who was definitely looking to chop a fresh girl.A well brought up man would run away from a minor without looking back or at most advice her on her behaviour.In sane climes,a MINOR cannot give consent to s ex.The man would land in jail!!
What exaclty is it that makes her a slut? The fact that she had s ex and had the guts to talk about it to her supposed boyfy and send him nudes?
People who believe themselves to be in love do such things on the regular especially olodo females who don't know they should also be collecting the nudes of the guy as well complete with his face..
The people calling her slut are usually the most depraved oo,probably rubbing off to po rn,and visiting brothels but na them de shout pass.

Sacrilege if a woman enjoys se x.. Little wonder Naija females resort to saying they were ra ped as an excuse for not being virgins.SE x is enjoyable and no female should be ashamed of it.The sooner these loons realise it,the beter off we will all be.After all,is it goats and cows they are banging?

Not to even talk of the females who would rather die than speak up for a victim in such a situation but would rather throw stones on her and say she enjoyed being passed round like a rag.

Since 2007 this girls blog has been dark,talking about suicide,her experience with this guy,depression,hardly any form of happiness.I used to wonder how she was able to function with her psyche so damaged.I don't know if she can ever ive a normal life even after years and years of therapy.

I'm sure she feels like she's being ra ped again with all the vitriol being thrown her way.I hope she stays strong.The impunity with which people in power act is beyond belief and they will look you in the face and say you cannot do anything.Anyway,we have pedophiles& domestic abusers as senators and governors..What's left to say

Is it not this same Naija that mentally deranged women who roam around the streets get pregnant?Who is impregnating them?I laugh in Swahili!!

Jahblessme:
Reading her story has made me shake..The amount of depravity in Nigeria is sickening & the funniest part is that we cloak it well well with spirituality,sounding off about morals.

The simple fact is that MANY nigerian males do not know what statutory ra pe is.They do not understand what ra pe is.If a lady is not screaming and fighting then they will never accept it's ra pe.If you wear short clothes - you are begging for it.If you walk alone at night,you will be blamed.If you have had se x before,you cannot be raped.It's amazing really!!

If people google stockholm syndrome- (A condition where a victim identifies with the perpetrator even to the extent of defending them),they will understand why she kept on going back.
This girl had no father figure and an absentee mother,it's not surprising that at 17 she would fall into the hands of a predator.At 17,she'd be in ss3 or a fresher in Uni.No guidance at all while a 25 year old grandpa preyed on her emotions,groomed her well well and introduced her to the world of perversion.In this kind of situation,being in love with such a man and suffering from low self esteem added to a dysfunctional home is a lethal combination.She'd be willing to do ANYTHING he asked for as long as he kept on assuring her of his love twisted as that sounds this sort of thing happens.People do not understand he psychological hold an abuser holds over their victim.

On the issue of morals i see the holy brigade rounded on her calling her a slut.Forgetting the useless man who was definitely looking to chop a fresh girl.A well brought up man would run away from a minor without looking back or at most advice her on her behaviour.In sane climes,a MINOR cannot give consent to s ex.The man would land in jail!!
What exaclty is it that makes her a slut? The fact that she had s ex and had the guts to talk about it to her supposed boyfy and send him nudes?
People who believe themselves to be in love do such things on the regular especially olodo females who don't know they should also be collecting the nudes of the guy as well complete with his face..
The people calling her slut are usually the most depraved oo,probably rubbing off to po rn,and visiting brothels but na them de shout pass.

Sacrilege if a woman enjoys se x.. Little wonder Naija females resort to saying they were ra ped as an excuse for not being virgins.SE x is enjoyable and no female should be ashamed of it.The sooner these loons realise it,the beter off we will all be.After all,is it goats and cows they are banging?

Not to even talk of the females who would rather die than speak up for a victim in such a situation but would rather throw stones on her and say she enjoyed being passed round like a rag.

Since 2007 this girls blog has been dark,talking about suicide,her experience with this guy,depression,hardly any form of happiness.I used to wonder how she was able to function with her psyche so damaged.I don't know if she can ever ive a normal life even after years and years of therapy.

I'm sure she feels like she's being ra ped again with all the vitriol being thrown her way.I hope she stays strong.The impunity with which people in power act is beyond belief and they will look you in the face and say you cannot do anything.Anyway,we have pedophiles& domestic abusers as senators and governors..What's left to say

Is it not this same Naija that mentally deranged women who roam around the streets get pregnant?Who is impregnating them?I laugh in Swahili!!

You've said it all..
Her blog had an effect on me such that, at the time, I read it top to bottom.
This, like I said before, is an anticlimax f me


My sister's friend, a former classmate of mine, was said to have bin raped TWICE, once by her b.f. Thankfully, she's hugely, internationally successful, but the perpetrators at worst got a slap on d wrist.


It's quite pitiful

Jahblessme:
Reading her story has made me shake..The amount of depravity in Nigeria is sickening & the funniest part is that we cloak it well well with spirituality,sounding off about morals.

The simple fact is that MANY nigerian males do not know what statutory ra pe is.They do not understand what ra pe is.If a lady is not screaming and fighting then they will never accept it's ra pe.If you wear short clothes - you are begging for it.If you walk alone at night,you will be blamed.If you have had se x before,you cannot be raped.It's amazing really!!

If people google stockholm syndrome- (A condition where a victim identifies with the perpetrator even to the extent of defending them),they will understand why she kept on going back.
This girl had no father figure and an absentee mother,it's not surprising that at 17 she would fall into the hands of a predator.At 17,she'd be in ss3 or a fresher in Uni.No guidance at all while a 25 year old grandpa preyed on her emotions,groomed her well well and introduced her to the world of perversion.In this kind of situation,being in love with such a man and suffering from low self esteem added to a dysfunctional home is a lethal combination.She'd be willing to do ANYTHING he asked for as long as he kept on assuring her of his love twisted as that sounds this sort of thing happens.People do not understand he psychological hold an abuser holds over their victim.

On the issue of morals i see the holy brigade rounded on her calling her a slut.Forgetting the useless man who was definitely looking to chop a fresh girl.A well brought up man would run away from a minor without looking back or at most advice her on her behaviour.In sane climes,a MINOR cannot give consent to s ex.The man would land in jail!!
What exaclty is it that makes her a slut? The fact that she had s ex and had the guts to talk about it to her supposed boyfy and send him nudes?
People who believe themselves to be in love do such things on the regular especially olodo females who don't know they should also be collecting the nudes of the guy as well complete with his face..
The people calling her slut are usually the most depraved oo,probably rubbing off to po rn,and visiting brothels but na them de shout pass.

Sacrilege if a woman enjoys se x.. Little wonder Naija females resort to saying they were ra ped as an excuse for not being virgins.SE x is enjoyable and no female should be ashamed of it.The sooner these loons realise it,the beter off we will all be.After all,is it goats and cows they are banging?

Not to even talk of the females who would rather die than speak up for a victim in such a situation but would rather throw stones on her and say she enjoyed being passed round like a rag.

Since 2007 this girls blog has been dark,talking about suicide,her experience with this guy,depression,hardly any form of happiness.I used to wonder how she was able to function with her psyche so damaged.I don't know if she can ever ive a normal life even after years and years of therapy.

I'm sure she feels like she's being ra ped again with all the vitriol being thrown her way.I hope she stays strong.The impunity with which people in power act is beyond belief and they will look you in the face and say you cannot do anything.Anyway,we have pedophiles& domestic abusers as senators and governors..What's left to say

Is it not this same Naija that mentally deranged women who roam around the streets get pregnant?Who is impregnating them?I laugh in Swahili!!

Nice one, this country is full of hypocrites

Meanwhile on stelladimokokorkus blog some people have said he was 28 in 2007 not 25 as previously thought

Jahblessme:
Reading her story has made me shake..The amount of depravity in Nigeria is sickening & the funniest part is that we cloak it well well with spirituality,sounding off about morals.

The simple fact is that MANY nigerian males do not know what statutory ra pe is.They do not understand what ra pe is.If a lady is not screaming and fighting then they will never accept it's ra pe.If you wear short clothes - you are begging for it.If you walk alone at night,you will be blamed.If you have had se x before,you cannot be raped.It's amazing really!!

If people google stockholm syndrome- (A condition where a victim identifies with the perpetrator even to the extent of defending them),they will understand why she kept on going back.
This girl had no father figure and an absentee mother,it's not surprising that at 17 she would fall into the hands of a predator.At 17,she'd be in ss3 or a fresher in Uni.No guidance at all while a 25 year old grandpa preyed on her emotions,groomed her well well and introduced her to the world of perversion.In this kind of situation,being in love with such a man and suffering from low self esteem added to a dysfunctional home is a lethal combination.She'd be willing to do ANYTHING he asked for as long as he kept on assuring her of his love twisted as that sounds this sort of thing happens.People do not understand he psychological hold an abuser holds over their victim.

On the issue of morals i see the holy brigade rounded on her calling her a slut.Forgetting the useless man who was definitely looking to chop a fresh girl.A well brought up man would run away from a minor without looking back or at most advice her on her behaviour.In sane climes,a MINOR cannot give consent to s ex.The man would land in jail!!
What exaclty is it that makes her a slut? The fact that she had s ex and had the guts to talk about it to her supposed boyfy and send him nudes?
People who believe themselves to be in love do such things on the regular especially olodo females who don't know they should also be collecting the nudes of the guy as well complete with his face..
The people calling her slut are usually the most depraved oo,probably rubbing off to po rn,and visiting brothels but na them de shout pass.

Sacrilege if a woman enjoys se x.. Little wonder Naija females resort to saying they were ra ped as an excuse for not being virgins.SE x is enjoyable and no female should be ashamed of it.The sooner these loons realise it,the beter off we will all be.After all,is it goats and cows they are banging?

Not to even talk of the females who would rather die than speak up for a victim in such a situation but would rather throw stones on her and say she enjoyed being passed round like a rag.

Since 2007 this girls blog has been dark,talking about suicide,her experience with this guy,depression,hardly any form of happiness.I used to wonder how she was able to function with her psyche so damaged.I don't know if she can ever ive a normal life even after years and years of therapy.

I'm sure she feels like she's being ra ped again with all the vitriol being thrown her way.I hope she stays strong.The impunity with which people in power act is beyond belief and they will look you in the face and say you cannot do anything.Anyway,we have pedophiles& domestic abusers as senators and governors..What's left to say

Is it not this same Naija that mentally deranged women who roam around the streets get pregnant?Who is impregnating them?I laugh in Swahili!!

On point as always.

Seems like everyone knows this girl. Her blog is that popular?
I'm always slagging.
Where was I in 2008?

cococandy:
Seems like everyone knows this girl. Her blog is that popular?
I'm always slagging.
Where was I in 2008?

Not really popular per se, but there was/is an emotional depth to it (a realness) that kinda hooks u.
Plus, she's got a strong interest in culture which f me is a strong interest point.

U should get t reading tonight...Will definitely bring all this brouhaha n brouhihi to life f u

@cococandy
It's not that she's popular..I found her blog when she started and it just was morbid and realish..
Always talking about Bakura.I was always wondering how a person could be so miserable.People always tried to encourage her but she just could never got better..From one dark story to another,sometimes just one line.I had to stop reading cos of the gloom and so much mental suffering she wrote about.
But she's so talented and her stories about her illustrations so beautiful.
I'm now more determined to raise my children up to be healthy emotionally..I'd rather my child is over confident than suffering low self esteem abeg.