With time we will understand wat these churches hv done to us.

My babe said we would be attending her church after marriage and I told her a straight no

Godfullsam:
Couples attending different churches are not husband and wife, they are room mates.

...and if they belong to different religion, what do you call them then?

in-mates?

This was one area dat broke my relationship. Am a strong leader in my church. The lady's parent attends my church but she attends winners. She gave it to me as a condition n I felt it's wrong. She's say I must allow her go her own church or join her else no marriage. I felt she's not ready then.[color=#006600][/color]

Should a man have CONTROL on his wife in the first place? Is he a dictator? Salvation is personal and even God as given us freewill so who are we to say otherwise? Jesus Christ said it himself that there is no marriage in heaven so please let individuals be when it comes to the things of faith. As for the children, let them go wherever is convenient for both partners until they are old enough to decide for themselves. I wouldn't even advice you to marry someone with a different doctrinal belief in the first place.

Chukazu:
infact, the matter is about to split me am my girl. the must insist I must marry her in Catholic, I agreed, after that she is now saying I must leave my own church to attend Catholic with my wife to be. how now,shouldn't I be the one to chose which denominations to attend with my wifey?

My own situation is the opposite of urs. I am a catholic & my girl is a redeemer. This happened yesterday & she says that she cannot attend Catholic with me & that I should instead attend redeem. I told her also that I can never attend redeem either but to make d issue more worst, she says that if we eventually marry & we have kids, the kids will be going to redeem with he & not catholic with me. The relationship just got me fed up already as I speak. I don't know how to resolve this cos I can't imagine myself attending a different church from that of my wife. This might lead to end of our relationship if the status quo remain.

kilode100:
Who church don help?

Church has helped me and is still helping me. I knew more of God and his words by attending church

Ashawo....

mascot87:


My own situation is the opposite of urs. I am a catholic & my girl is a redeemer. This happened yesterday & she says that she cannot attend Catholic with me & that I should instead attend redeem. I told her also that I can never attend redeem either but to make d issue more worst, she says that if we eventually marry & we have kids, the kids will be going to redeem with he & not catholic with me. The relationship just got me fed up already as I speak. I don't know how to resolve this cos I can't imagine myself attending a different church from that of my wife. This might lead to end of our relationship if the status quo remain.

Bro, go with her to redeem. Show her some understanding. Then make her come with you to your own church. The fact that you would bend for her might also harden her stance. Just compromise a bit. Of course, after marriage she has no choice but to go to your church. Make it clear and enforce your stance if necessary.

You have stated the likely effects @op.

Couples should decide before marriage, and the decision should be one church for both to attend.

kilode100:
Who church don help?

mmmmmmmmmmuah!!! U are my nairaland love from today onward, pls tell me where to mail my dowry to

Couples need to have the same belief system, it makes things easier between them. The multiplication of denominations and doctrines even within the same religions has made the world to be some kind of Babel.

How will a Deeperlife man understand when his Celestial wife informs him that Wooli under the inspiration of Emi mimo has commanded that she should be under abe abo in the church premises for the next 7 days?

Abi how demon chasing MFM wife wan relate well with Jerry curl wearing Christ Embassy husband? This is Babel.

It is better for couples to have the same religious and doctrinal beliefs, it will make marriages easier.

I thank God I attend the same church with my lady.
I already told her, we can't even attend different assembly of our church except it can't be avoided.
also, if at any point in time during marriage, I can't cope with the church again and it demands I change, she got no option but to change with me.
Imagine hearing sermons base on all the millions of doctrine out there, you now start to have issues at home. If some issues pop up and seems that you need external counsel, who do you walk up to, her pastor that might buy her belief because that's what he taught her or mine that might look from my own biased view due to what he teaches me.
Even my kids must worship with me for the period they will be under my roof till they choose to stay alone.

MrPresident1:
Couples need to have the same belief system, it makes things easier between them. The multiplication of denominations and doctrines even within the same religions has made the world to be some kind of Babel.

How will a Deeperlife man understand when his Celestial wife informs him that Wooli under the inspiration of Emi mimo has commanded that she should be under abe abo in the church premises for the next 7 days?

Abi how demon chasing MFM wife wan relate well with Jerry curl wearing Christ Embassy husband? This is Babel.

It is better for couples to have the same religious and doctrinal beliefs, it will make marriages easier.

which president are you pls, cuz death must not kill u oo.
you nailed it man.
lust go just push some people into death trap and dem go dey form sey na love.

Disunity

magicminister:


Bro, go with her to redeem. Show her some understanding. Then make her come with you to your own church. The fact that you would bend for her might also harden her stance. Just compromise a bit. Of course, after marriage she has no choice but to go to your church. Make it clear and enforce your stance if necessary.

She says she can NEVER attend my church & that even d children. That is her stand, what is d probability that if I eventually marry her she will shift her ground?

ANOTHER JAMB QUESTION. ANYWAY, AM STILL SEARCHING FOR THE ANSWERS!

How dat wan take consign me?

Onyejemechimere:


well as my topic prevails, there seems to be certain couples who do not attend the same church, the attend different denominations.

i have seen cases where the Man of the house attends catholic church while his wife Goes for Pentecostal .

Did the make such plans and agreement before marriage?
will it not have a huge effect on their children?

this type of situation tend to make the man have lesser control over his wife,
it will make the children pick a side, and that’s were Favouritism comes in.
Issues like this have led to the disintegration of certain marriages, makes the religious life of the children in the family very low.

What is your say on this issue?
what do you think is the major cause of it and how do we curb it?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Remember, a couple comprises of two different individuals and from different upbringings, who agreed to tolerate each other while spending their lives together. Marriage is about loving, compromise, understanding and respecting of each other's differences.

You can't expect your partner to like everything you like, have the same hobbies as yours, work at the same place, attend the same schools, come from the same extended family, agree with every damn thing you say or do. In fact, your partner cannot be your carbon copy!

If your partner's workplace is different from yours, why can't she also be free to attend her choice of church?
If your partner can have different friends from yours, why can't she also be free to attend any church she wishes.
If your partner can choose to be religious or not, why can't she also be free to choose her church?
If your partner have right to dump your as*s and the marriage any time she pleases, why can't she also have the right to choose her church or dump yours?

Even though I'm an atheist, my wife has her freedom to practice her religion and I gave my kids freedom to follow their mum's religion or forget it entire. We still have a superb marriage and great kids!

Nothing serious, anyone can go where he /she understands 5he gospel better.

Babatunde Fashola is a muslim and goes to mosque. His wife is a christian and goes to church. Their marriage has stood strong with no scandal or divorce case.

So what is your point when you say No, it cant work.

10 years ago just before I got married, if this question was asked I would have been quick to reply - NO BIG DEAL.
Today 10 years in the institution of marriage, I am bold to say couples attending different churches is a recipe for a potential home break.
My wife is a good and easy going woman, she still is, but the truth be told, a lot of the misunderstandings we have had and are still having stems from differences in religious ideologies that cannot be divorced from the different approaches the different churches we attend take to address issues.It is a long story with a lot of examples. To name a few. 1) Method of prayers and patterns - the different methods we approach prayers has resulted in my wife labeling me a spiritual weakling (can you imagine that!)
2) Tithes and special prayers - I do pay tithes and do free will donations. In my wife's church special prayers are conducted for almost everything you can think about and cannot be done without money (sowing a painful seed = parting with an amount of money,amounts are non-negotiable).
There are other examples, but number two is always re-occurring.

No probs with it 4 as long as dere z understanding n respect 4 each others view its okay... Even d Bible says Salvation z personal

Onyejemechimere:


well as my topic prevails, there seems to be certain couples who do not attend the same church, the attend different denominations.

i have seen cases where the Man of the house attends catholic church while his wife Goes for Pentecostal .

Did the make such plans and agreement before marriage?
will it not have a huge effect on their children?

this type of situation tend to make the man have lesser control over his wife,
it will make the children pick a side, and that’s were Favouritism comes in.
Issues like this have led to the disintegration of certain marriages, makes the religious life of the children in the family very low.

What is your say on this issue?
what do you think is the major cause of it and how do we curb it?

It all boils down to understanding. There's no church in heaven in the first place and it doesn't stop man from heading the house. I wonder couples of different religion would do. if na lie ask fashola and Tinubu's wives how they cope?

Godfullsam:
Couples attending different churches are not husband and wife, they are room mates.

They are not and no bibilically backing for that.

damilareoye:
Couples are meant to attend same church.


Imagine the doctrine collision in a situation whereby the father attend Baptist, mother a deeper life member and children are winners ... The house eh.

There's no church in heaven. Those doctrines are coined by their believes.

Because of this, am gona marry a lady who is a member of my church too.

Chukazu:
infact, the matter is about to split me am my girl. the must insist I must marry her in Catholic, I agreed, after that she is now saying I must leave my own church to attend Catholic with my wife to be. how now,shouldn't I be the one to chose which denominations to attend with my wifey?

Find another chick from your denomination should case persist as there's no church in heaven

The best solution is to marry from your denomination

mascot87:


My own situation is the opposite of urs. I am a catholic & my girl is a redeemer. This happened yesterday & she says that she cannot attend Catholic with me & that I should instead attend redeem. I told her also that I can never attend redeem either but to make d issue more worst, she says that if we eventually marry & we have kids, the kids will be going to redeem with he & not catholic with me. The relationship just got me fed up already as I speak. I don't know how to resolve this cos I can't imagine myself attending a different church from that of my wife. This might lead to end of our relationship if the status quo remain.

I strongly believe that a man should have greater say (without coarsion) as to which church the family attends.

we could site an example from the story of Ruth in the Bible, who, though the husband was late but famously told the mother - inlaw- "entreat me not to leave you,or ask me to go back, your God shall be my God,your people my people, where you die I will die "
that was a woman pledging allegiance to the memories a dead hubby and to his family.

Well OP have said it all. This issue has been on my mind for some time now because the lady I intend getting married to attends a different church from the one I attend even though they are both pentecostal but there's no way I'll go into marriage with her without first agreeing on attending the same church. Isn't it biblical for couples to attend the same church in marriage? Attending different churches by couples can lead to the husband having a lesser control over the family, the children may not be properly brought up and it could ultimately make the marriage disintegrate.
I think couples must before marriage discuss a number of issues including this one. If you can agree on attending the same church when married I don't think it will be a problem when eventually married.