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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman (4586 Views)
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Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by jashar(f): 7:51am On Feb 24, 2016 |
Cutehector: you're rude and pained. Maybe the heat is getting to you. Go and bathe cold water and drink cold juice ;you'll feel better. I won't bother replying your rants. Keep at it. 3 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Cutehector(m): 10:06am On Feb 24, 2016 |
jashar:mchew! Otondo. |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Acidosis(m): 3:57pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
cococandy: I support mutual respect, but I don't support feminism and 'equality'. Happy Birthday |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by cococandy(f): 3:59pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
Acidosis:Equality is different from mutual respect?. I hear you. 4 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Acidosis(m): 4:04pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
cococandy:Certainly |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Stillfire: 8:44pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
cococandy: Lmao. They can call it whatever...all na grammatical jargon to avoid using the word 'feminism'. The message though is gradually sinking in. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by cococandy(f): 10:01pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
Stillfire: |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Nobody: 9:22am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Rubbish! As a woman I am offended that this IK man thinks that I would rather only spend my money on louboutins shoes Even if my husbands earnings can pay all the bills, is he is telling me that i don't have a brain to think and invest. is he is telling me that I cant build/buy property or shares, and provide a better future for my kids. Is there anything wrong in buying a property in the city where your kid goes to uni, so that the kid automatically has accommodation for the time he/she is there? and if the kid chooses to remain in that city he/she already has his foot on the housing ladder. God forbid I spend all my hard earned money on fashion That is a curse A big one I know that some women will be hailing the man, saying well done The beauty in the book is to read it to the end I hope this kind of man delivers in all areas to the end & not just financially. I have failed woefully as a mother if all my daughter will spend her millions on is on louboutin shoes. 9 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Creamish(f): 11:40am On Feb 25, 2016 |
I wonder y ppl are throwing insults here & there... If you dont agree with IK's view, fine.. That's his marriage formula. Go get ur own.. haba! I know men who find it hard to let their wives pay bills... I know others who luv when their wives pay bills. To each his own. No woman is deluded or should be rubbished if her man has decided to foot the bills and no woman is silly if she decides to meet her man half-way. It all depends on what works with the couple. Abeg rest the matter.. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by damiso(f): 11:59am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Creamish: I think IK should have said that is how HIS own home/marriage is run rather than insinuate that ALL people who cant survive on one Wage are living above their means. He asked for the opinions( and the insults sef) when he tried to advocate his way as the best way. 4 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Creamish(f): 12:03pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
damiso: Still... I dint read where he insulted anyone. He gave his opinion.. it's what works for him. That's the way he deals with his own ish. I dont see IK running anyone else's marriage here. Either u agree with him and run urs like that ooooorrrrrrrr U run urs the way U and ur iyawo deem fit. 6 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by damiso(f): 12:13pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
Creamish: Yeah I personally agree with people running their homes how they see fit. But I am sure he too knew when he said ' I know readers will be offended' . I agree with you about people doing what works for them and their family at any point in time. However he gaffed by insinuating that couples who cant afford for the wife to quit work are living above their means. Does he even realise that for some people , the wife working is not even about the money? I know a couple where the husband is the one even buying the travel card for the wife to go to work as she is volunteering for free to get the much needed experience for her to get into her chosen profession. Its all good that he can afford to pay all the bills and I am sure that for most families or people we wish our jobs could pay ALL our bills(including plenty luxuries sef) but the reality is sometimes even the best efforts of TWO people cant cover it all. I am not trying to castigate him or anything( I actually know his wife) but he should have just stopped at what works for him without subtly judging other people's choices. 4 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Nobody: 12:39pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
MRBrownJ:This ur statement is so myopic a) So because a man does his job and provides for family he calls the shots in the home? the importance of the wife depends on how much she contributes to the family? Dude if I want my money to give mi a voice I'll go and buy a large amount of shares in a company, it will give me a voice and its more profitable self. b) Dude if they didn't sign a prenup she entitled to half of all he owns, don't decieve ur self, she leaves with both her luobittonsnd half of all he owns. c) No sensible and responsible man will need or insist on his wife to spilt the bills with him, except on circumstances when the man is broke and the woman is financially buoyant, then I'll say its okay for the woman to assist. A woman should contribute to the upkeep of her family only if she wish to and not because she needs to, to have a say in her marriage, or so that she can have properties yo take with her in the inventuality of a divorce or what ever story/reason you cook up. 6 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Chaulay1: 1:50pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
In today's reality, women are really doing more than they get credit for. For me, it is not a biggie if a woman provides 50% so long the couple is good with it. Each family should foot their bills the best way they deem fit. However, it is becoming worrisome that some men are becoming complacent and more demanding once they realize their wives are pulling their weight financially. I know a couple that the wife bears about 85% of the family expenses. She doesn't mind as she is more buoyant. She buys assets including a property using mr and mrs. She later got an additional property in her name and this has been causing an issue in the family. The husband is insisting that it should also be in both names because that is his decision as the head of the home. He presents the case as if a woman cannot buy anything in her name once she is married. I think this is going overboard. Compelling her is sending the wrong signal. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by TheArchangel(f): 2:10pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
Seems marriage is becoming more of a legal contract....or even a curse? We are being swayed by traditional settings on one side and modernised version on the other. All parties wielding out their defences in case of failure or inability to meet up.... Eunuchs are still welcomed in this present times. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Nobody: 2:58pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
Chaulay1: Well that is wrong In my post I mentioned about being able to be an all rounder He sounds petty to me and even if he was the type that was paying all the bills you can imagine the kind of laws he will be putting down. So that is a character flaw more than anything else. Damiso has said it and I agree; People should face their own & do what is best for them and let of others be. If Mr IK hadn’t started this, then no one would be having this convo. What trips couple A may be the downfall for couple B, and looking on from the outside you will never understand what makes some couples tick and the reasons why they do certain things. People in social media should also act responsibly when they know that there are many naïve people who hang onto their every word. The message he is indirectly passing is that women should be spending all their money on themselves only, and a man is somewhat a failure if he is not catering for 100% of the bills. You can imagine the mayhem this may cause in a home where there are already financial issues and both are immature. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by bukatyne(f): 3:04pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
Chaulay1: @Bold, absolutely on point 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Faith111: 3:46pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
MRBrownJ: You are totally biased. A) When a legally married man divorces his wife, all he has is split...So you are wrong. B) It should be a woman's pride that her husband calls the shot to important family matters unlike small boys of these days who wait 4 their wives to spoon feed them. C) A woman changes her name to dat of her husnhusband when married so has no other name to protect. It is the responsibility of a reasonable man to provide for his wife and make her look flashy. D)If paying for important family needs is a must for all wives, then babysitting, cooking and all important domestic needs is a Must for all Husbands. If you know what pregnancy entails. If you know what nursing a Child entails. If you know what domestic cores entails. If you know what home keeping entails... Then You Will Obviously Know a Wife has her clearly defined role which is 'Must' while Man has a Must do... I work and assist wilfully and its Never MUST. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Faith111: 4:00pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
ronald4lif: A silly wOman expects her husband to finance all family needs but a Wise Man expects his wife to carry his babies for 9months, nurse them, wash , clean, cook, serve him,respect him,........get ready for sex when he needs it and STILL leave the house by 5am to make Money... Only a Lazy man fails to accept his Responsibilities and its a big Shame on him. 4 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by LewsTherin: 4:10pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
I have learnt. Society and people who claim to know how our fathers lived and society and people who claim how civilization makes us live will not be with my wife and I when we are having issues or when we are loving up in the bedroom. I do what I need to do to make my wife happy because my Lady's happiness is my happiness. My wife does what she needs to do to keep me stress free as an unstressed me is an unstressed her. Like someone here said, what ever rocks OUR boat. And as long as we break no laws (laws not tradditions), as long as we do not spite the One we Worship, everyone else can jump off a bridge. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by bukatyne(f): 4:32pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
LewsTherin: Nice one |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by bukatyne(f): 4:39pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
tearoses: @Bold: It is a cultural thing. Generally, the bolded is the belief of Ibos/Igbos Some of their cultures even dictate that the husband should extend kind gestures aka money to his siblings-in-law (married/single/older/younger) Someone also said the wives have expectations from their husbands which is not dependent on what they earn. I think we are really viewing the OP from our cultural POV. |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by MRBrownJ: 6:02pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
Faith111: a good prenup will sort that out, especially if wifey wants to spend her money on Louboutin shoes while daddy pays for the family's wellbeing. i guess in your narrow minded way of thinking, since they split everything, daddy will demand for his share of the Louboutin shoes, right?! B) It should be a woman's pride that her husband calls the shot to important family matters unlike small boys of these days who wait 4 their wives to spoon feed them. i guess, when a woman has absolutely NOTHING to offer a man apart from her womb, then i understand why she "must" be quiet and act as a servant in the home... but for all the hardworking driven women out there then they should have their own say/input regarding the family, thats why it is a called a UNION. C) A woman changes her name to dat of her husnhusband when married so has no other name to protect. It is the responsibility of a reasonable man to provide for his wife and make her look flashy. these are the words of lazy uneducated women who DEMAND that their husband take care of ALL their needs, simply because they have absolutely no power/education/desire to do it for themselves OR the family. D)If paying for important family needs is a must for all wives, then babysitting, cooking and all important domestic needs is a Must for all Husbands. YES, contributing towards the family's wellbeing FIRST, instead of Louboutin shoes, is a must for all wifeys. as for cooking and all domestic needs, the housegirl will do that just fine... and as for caring for the baby, when that child is past 3 yrs old, mummy doesnt need to be "babysitting any longer as the child will be going to kindergarden etc If you know what pregnancy entails. If you know what nursing a Child entails. If you know what domestic cores entails. If you know what home keeping entails...Then You Will Obviously Know a Wife has her clearly defined role which is 'Must' while Man has a Must do... absolute NONSENSE!!!!! the role of BOTH parents is to work together towards the wellbeing of that said family. a wife must do everything in her power to achieve that. now if you believe that you must stay home and do absolutely NOTHING, from the day that your child starts to go to kindergarden/primary/secondary school then i am sorry to tell you that you are useless towards the wellbeing of that said family. 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by MRBrownJ: 6:02pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
mhiz: your contribution towards the wellbeing of the family gives you a voice, if you bring NOTHING to the table, then as faith111 just said, be proud that a man contributes to all the family matters while you have NO say whatsoever in the matter. why should you anyway? at least you can decide what Louboutin pair to buy. b) Dude if they didn't sign a prenup she entitled to half of all he owns, don't decieve ur self, she leaves with both her luobittonsnd half of all he owns. what man in his right mind wouldnt sign a prenup in this day and age, knowing fully well that he has a LAZY and/or UNEDUCATED wife who wouldnt contribute a kobo to the family's wellbeing, but instead believes that her money is to buy Louboutin shoes and Gucci bags? furthermore, even if there is NO prenup, remember that these luxury Louboutin shoes and Gucci bags will be part of the family's wealth. so lets say daddy spends 200k a month to pay for the family home/car notes etc, while mummy uses her salary to buy Louboutin shoes and Gucci bags for 150K each months. come divorce 2 yrs later, we have a family wealth of whatever daddy paid with the 200K monthly + all the luxury shoes and bags that mummy bought. so judge tells mummy to keep her half of the family wealth (aka luxury shoes/bags) while daddy continues doing what he is doing BWAAAAAAAAAAAAH! c) No sensible and responsible man will need or insist on his wife to spilt the bills with him, except on circumstances when the man is broke and the woman is financially buoyant, then I'll say its okay for the woman to assist. that's what lazy women are happy to say... dont get it twisted, you are not assisting your man, you are contributing towards the wellbeing of your family. how selfish of you to think that daddy's salary is for the whole family's wellbeing while mummy's salary is for mummy's Louboutin and Gucci bags. daddy shouldnt even ask, and you should instead gladly contribute towards the wellbeing of your family... only a lazy/conceited woman wouldnt. if you believe that the ONLY reason why a gainfully employed wife should contribute to the family, is if the husband is broke, then i am sorry to say that you are living in La La land! the days of our forefathers are over, back in the days that was the norm because women didnt normally work, but today is different. funny how lazy women want to take from that past only what fits their selfish agenda. A woman should contribute to the upkeep of her family only if she wish to and not because she needs to, to have a say in her marriage, or so that she can have properties yo take with her in the inventuality of a divorce or what ever story/reason you cook up. dont get me wrong, so i will explain it to you again: it is called a UNION, where both party contributes equally (or as much as they possibly can) towards the wellbeing of the family. many low self esteem men would rather that their wife stay at home, so that such weak men can control their non working broke wives. that man will take all the important decision, as we all know that he who pays the piper, calls the tune. so bringing your share to the table empowers YOU, and put women in decision making position in the family (instead of just a womb). i mean, if she has no income/revenue where will she go when that man decide to get rid of her after 20yrs of joblessness? sadly, many women are happy to play that invisible/minority family role, to each their own. 1 Like |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Stillfire: 7:35pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
Faith111: Errr...errr...these are the reasons though women are not automatically conscripted to the army in the advent of war. So I think it's all fair at the end of the day. 3 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Nobody: 9:43pm On Feb 25, 2016 |
lovaleenny: Sooner, you will be married to Jesus... Iranu... 1 Like |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by lovaleenny(f): 1:42am On Feb 26, 2016 |
Tpappie: Oshey!like u know me or how i live my life...take several seats 2 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Onegai(f): 7:27am On Feb 26, 2016 |
bukatyne: Errrmmmm.... Ikponhwosa "IK" Osakioduwa is a Bini boy, married to Olohije. Neither are Igbo. Not unless Edo state has moved geographically since yesterday He's stating his opinions, people should decide how they want to live and what works for them. 3 Likes |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Dheartless: 8:24am On Feb 26, 2016 |
mhiz:Where did this bull shit came from "a woman should contribute to the upkeep of her family if she wish not because she needs."?? so if a man is working and his wife is also working the woman should not contribute?? lol this is funny. I agree to your statement only if she is not working , but even at that she is killing herself big time if she has no way to earn her own money even while still married , no one knows what will come next . no wonder most Nigerian men keep treating Nigerian women like they got no say and when the woman tries to resist they get sent out of the house and a new woman takes position. 1 Like |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by bukatyne(f): 10:10am On Feb 26, 2016 |
Onegai: My bad, I thought IK is Igbo. @bold, true. |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by Nobody: 4:30pm On Feb 27, 2016 |
Dheartless:Tell me what the work of a man then is?. If the woman cooks, cleans, takes care of the children and house hold, and now is supposed to contribute financially to the family, what then is the use of the man, sperm donor? The woman salary should be used to care for herself nd maybe buy stuffs for the kids and then invest the rest. |
Re: Guys Should Step Up And Deliver & Stop Requiring Half From The Woman by raumdeuter: 5:20pm On Feb 27, 2016 |
This only works in places with lazy women In places where the woman probably has tens of thousands in student loan getting a degree she would expect to sit home while the man is paying your bills Or where women are topping their classes in school would now choose to work whenever they chose like Can the man also choose to work whenever he likes? Some even see paying their own kids fees as the husband's responsibility If you want the traditional man you should also accept to be the traditional wife. The traditional man should be able to take multiple wives and the woman would have no say. The traditional woman have no say in her house and all she does is to agree with the man So traditional man should get traditional wife 1 Like |
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