Cutehector:
sharap like as if ur father is still not the husband to ur mom. Look here u modern kids, a woman is the keeper of the home and dat's that! If u like go an marry and be dragging right. Na sorry go b ur case

jashar:


you're rude and pained. Maybe the heat is getting to you. Go and bathe cold water and drink cold juice ;you'll feel better.

I won't bother replying your rants. Keep at it.

cococandy:

These ones sway between traditional and modern when it suits them.

When they tell you to accord equal respect to your wife as she does you and engage in home keeping as much as she does, you'll start yelling blue murder.

Now you don't want to be traditional and uphold your 'African values'?
Lol.

Acidosis:


I support mutual respect, but I don't support feminism and 'equality'.



Happy Birthday

cococandy:
Equality is different from mutual respect?.
I hear you.

cococandy:

Equality is different from mutual respect?.

I hear you.

Stillfire:


Lmao. They can call it whatever...all na grammatical jargon to avoid using the word 'feminism'. The message though is gradually sinking in.

Creamish:
I wonder y ppl are throwing insults here & there... If you dont agree with IK's view, fine.. That's his marriage formula. Go get ur own.. haba!

I know men who find it hard to let their wives pay bills... I know others who luv when their wives pay bills. To each his own. No woman is deluded or should be rubbished if her man has decided to foot the bills and no woman is silly if she decides to meet her man half-way. It all depends on what works with the couple.

Abeg rest the matter..

damiso:


I think IK should have said that is how HIS own home/marriage is run rather than insinuate that ALL people who cant survive on one Wage are living above their means.


He asked for the opinions( and the insults sef) when he tried to advocate his way as the best way.

Creamish:


Still... I dint read where he insulted anyone. He gave his opinion.. it's what works for him. That's the way he deals with his own ish. I dont see IK running anyone else's marriage here. Either u agree with him and run urs like that ooooorrrrrrrr U run urs the way U and ur iyawo deem fit.

MRBrownJ:
this deluded guy has the right to his own opinion but, to insinuate that this is how each and every men out there should function, is utterly rubbish. the majority of marriages MUST be 50/50 for the sanity of each participants.

what is important to note in this issue is that, it is also wrong because:
A) such men pay for everything at home therefore OWN everything (house, car etc) and therefore in time of divorce, these dumbass women will be left with old Louboutin pair of shoes, while these men will get the house/car they paid for.

B) since they pay for the important family needs, such men call the shots when it comes to important family matters, while these deluded women can decide what Louboutin pair they can buy.

C) the deluded women who will agree with such nonsense probably dont have a cent to their name and EXPECT such man to buy the Louboutin shoes for them anyway, because any smart woman would know better and invest her money wisely.

D) paying for the important family's needs is a must for all wifeys unless they wanna be SLAVES to their union. sadly, we all know that many deluded women bring absolutely NOTHING to their union and have no choice but to be slaves anyway.

Chaulay1:
In today's reality, women are really doing more than they get credit for. For me, it is not a biggie if a woman provides 50% so long the couple is good with it. Each family should foot their bills the best way they deem fit.

However, it is becoming worrisome that some men are becoming complacent and more demanding once they realize their wives are pulling their weight financially. I know a couple that the wife bears about 85% of the family expenses. She doesn't mind as she is more buoyant. She buys assets including a property using mr and mrs. She later got an additional property in her name and this has been causing an issue in the family. The husband is insisting that it should also be in both names because that is his decision as the head of the home. He presents the case as if a woman cannot buy anything in her name once she is married. I think this is going overboard. Compelling her is sending the wrong signal.

Chaulay1:
In today's reality, women are really doing more than they get credit for. For me, it is not a biggie if a woman provides 50% so long the couple is good with it. Each family should foot their bills the best way they deem fit.

However, it is becoming worrisome that some men are becoming complacent and more demanding once they realize their wives are pulling their weight financially. I know a couple that the wife bears about 85% of the family expenses. She doesn't mind as she is more buoyant. She buys assets including a property using mr and mrs. She later got an additional property in her name and this has been causing an issue in the family. The husband is insisting that it should also be in both names because that is his decision as the head of the home. He presents the case as if a woman cannot buy anything in her name once she is married. I think this is going overboard. Compelling her is sending the wrong signal.

MRBrownJ:
this deluded guy has the right to his own opinion but, to insinuate that this is how each and every men out there should function, is utterly rubbish. the majority of marriages MUST be 50/50 for the sanity of each participants.

what is important to note in this issue is that, it is also wrong because:
A) such men pay for everything at home therefore OWN everything (house, car etc) and therefore in time of divorce, these dumbass women will be left with old Louboutin pair of shoes, while these men will get the house/car they paid for.

B) since they pay for the important family needs, such men call the shots when it comes to important family matters, while these deluded women can decide what Louboutin pair they can buy.

C) the deluded women who will agree with such nonsense probably dont have a cent to their name and EXPECT such man to buy the Louboutin shoes for them anyway, because any smart woman would know better and invest her money wisely.

D) paying for the important family's needs is a must for all wifeys unless they wanna be SLAVES to their union. sadly, we all know that many deluded women bring absolutely NOTHING to their union and have no choice but to be slaves anyway.

ronald4lif:


This is the most silly thing I have read in a long while I must confess. Marriage is not a refuge for laziness neither is it a shelter to abdicating individual's responsibility.

If you want a slave for a hubby go mould one, if you want a companion then you must be able to contribute significantly and financially I must add.

You want a man to finance every thing in the home including your pads then you must be silly.

LewsTherin:
I have learnt.

Society and people who claim to know how our fathers lived and society and people who claim how civilization makes us live will not be with my wife and I when we are having issues or when we are loving up in the bedroom.

I do what I need to do to make my wide happy because my Lady's happiness is my happiness. My wife does what she needs to do to keep me stress free as an unstressed me is an unstressed her.

Like someone here said, what ever rocks OUR boat. And as long as we break no laws (laws not tradditions), as long as we do not spite the One we Worship, everyone else can jump off a bridge.

tearoses:


Well that is wrong
In my post I mentioned about being able to be an all rounder
He sounds petty to me and even if he was the type that was paying all the bills you can imagine the kind of laws he will be putting down. So that is a character flaw more than anything else.

Damiso has said it and I agree; People should face their own & do what is best for them and let of others be.
If Mr IK hadn’t started this, then no one would be having this convo.

What trips couple A may be the downfall for couple B, and looking on from the outside you will never understand what makes some couples tick and the reasons why they do certain things.

People in social media should also act responsibly when they know that there are many naïve people who hang onto their every word.
The message he is indirectly passing is that women should be spending all their money on themselves only, and a man is somewhat a failure if he is not catering for 100% of the bills.
You can imagine the mayhem this may cause in a home where there are already financial issues and both are immature.

Faith111:

You are totally biased.
A) When a legally married man divorces his wife, all he has is split...So you are wrong.

B) It should be a woman's pride that her husband calls the shot to important family matters unlike small boys of these days who wait 4 their wives to spoon feed them.

C) A woman changes her name to dat of her husnhusband when married so has no other name to protect. It is the responsibility of a reasonable man to provide for his wife and make her look flashy.

D)If paying for important family needs is a must for all wives, then babysitting, cooking and all important domestic needs is a Must for all Husbands.

If you know what pregnancy entails. If you know what nursing a Child entails. If you know what domestic cores entails. If you know what home keeping entails...Then You Will Obviously Know a Wife has her clearly defined role which is 'Must' while Man has a Must do...
I work and assist wilfully and its Never MUST.

mhiz:
This ur statement is so myopic
a) So because a man does his job and provides for family he calls the shots in the home? the importance of the wife depends on how much she contributes to the family? Dude if I want my money to give mi a voice I'll go and buy a large amount of shares in a company, it will give me a voice and its more profitable self.

b) Dude if they didn't sign a prenup she entitled to half of all he owns, don't decieve ur self, she leaves with both her luobittonsnd half of all he owns.

c) No sensible and responsible man will need or insist on his wife to spilt the bills with him, except on circumstances when the man is broke and the woman is financially buoyant, then I'll say its okay for the woman to assist.

A woman should contribute to the upkeep of her family only if she wish to and not because she needs to, to have a say in her marriage, or so that she can have properties yo take with her in the inventuality of a divorce or what ever story/reason you cook up.

Faith111:


You are totally biased.
A) When a legally married man divorces his wife, all he has is split...So you are wrong.
B) It should be a woman's pride that her husband calls the shot to important family matters unlike small boys of these days who wait 4 their wives to spoon feed them.

C) A woman changes her name to dat of her husnhusband when married so has no other name to protect. It is the responsibility of a reasonable man to provide for his wife and make her look flashy.
D)If paying for important family needs is a must for all wives, then babysitting, cooking and all important domestic needs is a Must for all Husbands.

If you know what pregnancy entails.
If you know what nursing a Child entails.
If you know what domestic cores entails.
If you know what home keeping entails...
Then You Will Obviously Know a Wife has her clearly defined role which is 'Must' while Man has a Must do...
I work and assist wilfully and its Never MUST.[/b]

lovaleenny:


I love this...do wish more ppl can commend stay at home moms often...it's not easy...

MR IK some men don't share ur views o...they want

bills: horseband 50% wife 50%
Chores: horseband 0% wife 100%
Cooking: horseband 0% wife 100%
Taking care of children: horseband 0% wife 100%
Side boos: horseband 100% wife 0%

awon oloshi...Olorun maje ka fe agbako okunrin shior!

Tpappie:



Sooner, you will be married to Jesus... Iranu...

bukatyne:


@Bold:

It is a cultural thing.

Generally, the bolded is the belief of Ibos/Igbos

Some of their cultures even dictate that the husband should extend kind gestures aka money to his siblings-in-law (married/single/older/younger)

Someone also said the wives have expectations from their husbands which is not dependent on what they earn.

I think we are really viewing the OP from our cultural POV.

mhiz:
This ur statement is so myopic
a) So because a man does his job and provides for family he calls the shots in the home? the importance of the wife depends on how much she contributes to the family? Dude if I want my money to give mi a voice I'll go and buy a large amount of shares in a company, it will give me a voice and its more profitable self.
b) Dude if they didn't sign a prenup she entitled to half of all he owns, don't decieve ur self, she leaves with both her luobittonsnd half of all he owns.
c) No sensible and responsible man will need or insist on his wife to spilt the bills with him, except on circumstances when the man is broke and the woman is financially buoyant, then I'll say its okay for the woman to assist.
A woman should contribute to the upkeep of her family only if she wish to and not because she needs to, to have a say in her marriage, or so that she can have properties yo take with her in the inventuality of a divorce or what ever story/reason you cook up.

Onegai:


Errrmmmm.... Ikponhwosa "IK" Osakioduwa is a Bini boy, married to Olohije. Neither are Igbo. Not unless Edo state has moved geographically since yesterday

He's stating his opinions, people should decide how they want to live and what works for them.

Dheartless:

Where did this bull shit came from
"a woman should contribute to the upkeep of her family if she wish not because she needs."??
so if a man is working and his wife is also working the woman should not contribute??
lol this is funny.
I agree to your statement only if she is not working , but even at that she is killing herself big time if she has no way to earn her own money even while still married , no one knows what will come next .
no wonder most Nigerian men keep treating Nigerian women like they got no say and when the woman tries to resist they get sent out of the house and a new woman takes position.