My boss is 46 years and I’m 31. He is unmarried and has never been married while I have been married for 9 years. My husband is 35. My boss has been showing interest in me since I got hired but the problem is my marital status. I equally love him too and everybody in our office knows that our closeness is beyond platonic. But I don’t want to leave my husband because people would say I left him because of he has no money but the truth is that the love is not there again.


My husband is an extremely lazy man. He lost his job 6 years ago. That was 3 years into our marriage and he hasn’t looked for another job. All he does is complain and nag like a woman. He said he is too old to get a job. He spent all our savings on starting a business and the business failed woefully. He didn’t make any profit and couldn’t recover the capital.

During the job interview for my current job, my boss’ eyes were all over me. It was a four-man panel. After the interview, I was told I would be contacted if I’m qualified. I was contacted two days later and I was asked to resume work the next Monday. I resumed under an immediate boss that works under my boss.

My husband’s laziness has killed my love for him. I buy newspapers looking for job ads for him only for him to say he’s too frustrated to apply or he’s no longer in the age bracket for the advertised job. Sometimes, I even apply for him, write the application letter and send out the curriculum vitae, but he won’t still go for the interview. All he does is eat and sleep. He just quit smoking, drinking and gbenshing ashewos – a habit he picked up during his joblessness.

He blames all his misfortunes on the government as if he is the only one in the country. He also blames his indiscipline and past philandering on frustrations.
As much as I have decided to divorce him for good, I’m afraid of what people would say. We only have one child and I don’t want him to end up like his father. Imagine, he stays at home every day, yet, I still hired a housemaid to take care of my son and do the chores.

My biggest fear is what family and friends would say about me if I leave him. I know they would say it’s because he is poor and my boss is rich. How I wish my boss wasn’t that rich so people would know I just love him for being a hardworking man? My love for my husband has gone with the wind like a dry chaff.
Even with the dead love, I was still faithful to him until last December when my boss kissed and felt me up in his office (We didn’t have sex). I have never felt so good in my life. Since then, the divorce has been the only thing on my mind.

I have vowed never to have sex out of my marriage. In fact, I didn’t have sex until I got married. Although, I married very young, I have always learnt to control my urge in my husband’s absence. I don’t want to cheat on him. That’s why I want the divorce so badly.

edwife:


Tiwa situation is different, No one will be motivated to do anything for a cheating spouse; you were generalizing and i know for sure not every woman will step in "gladly" to cover for her husband. The covering is mostly done outside for public viewing but at home it's different.

edwife:
Kimoni tell me what you think of this.

@ Red we all know she needed to add salt and pepper for the story to sound sweet. He doesn't have money but he sleeps with prostitutes?

@ blue, yeah right.

Kimoni:


do your part in the house, where I see we need to upgrade, I'll gladly upgrade. But don't start planning and drawing budget on my pay, e no go work

If the man also married right, he should trust her to do something tangible with her earnings. If she spends it frivolously, then he needs to question his choice of wife and his own decision making. So we are back to square one, marry right
It's not only women that should be getting knocks for marrying wrongly naa

tearoses:
Royal Roy thank you o!

This Kimomi woman get winch

I was banned

Kimoni:


so my powers still dey work like this

Royalroy, you are trespassing seriously. Be warned!!!

Kimoni:


A man has been fulfilling his roles in the house, no cheating, no abuse, no intimidation, everyone one is happy. Then he gets retrenched all of a sudden and immediately starts to look for another.

Eddy, are you saying only an exception of women will gladly step up and cover the gaps in the home? Eddddwwiifeeeeeee

Kimoni:


Eddy, which kain story be this early for early momo.

The husband needs help, the wife needs help.
The husband is depressed, his "manhood" has been taken away from him. The wife is depressed, she is dying under the weight meant for two persons. The "manhood" she collected from her husband is useless to her, it's adding to her pain instead
The husband remains helpless, too bad. The wife finally found "help" but in the wrong place, too bad. She doesn't even realise it and she is trying so hard to make it permanent. Too too bad.

tearoses:


So You let him move to Gbagada first, then you go and buy N200,000 pot? and say you are helping him - in some cases

Instead of saying bros Kimoni I get N200,000K, lets add this to your N300,000K so that we can rent in Lekki instead of gbagada

tearoses:


So you have obtained your freedom from Bellong the resident babalawo
I better be careful then

edwife:


Yes, especially if she married him for "the comfort" that came with the marriage. Do you realise that nowadays women marry more based on how well the man can provide?

They will gladly step up and cover the gaps yes but not for too long compare to a man and not without bringing drama to it..So yes kimoni an exception of women.

Kimoni:


so my powers still dey work like this

Royalroy, you are trespassing seriously. Be warned!!!

RoyalRoy:


Lol.... Independent Mamalawo.... I bow for you o!!

Kimoni:


Swits, let's get real. "comfort' whether kinetic current or potential is part of every woman's consideration before marriage. You say no?

How well the man can provide? - shouldn't that be a consideration? Not everyone desires the momager vs toyboy kind of relationship o

Exactly, they will gladly step into into the role and it shouldn't be for too long cuz that's not our natural role in the first instance except there is a total role swap. Drama? - na today? That's our second nature naa

edwife:


She found help? where? by falling in love with her boss on her interview day? chai

edwife:


I will only agree to this if we are talking of women who believe in headship.What you are saying is what it was in the past before the equality talk starts pestering our environment.

A woman who believes that everything in marriage is 50/50 will not step "gladly".

edwife:
Kimoni when we talk about comfort we need to understand that what you call comfort is not what i call comfort.
There were a thread where a girl said that she can not marry a man who lives in a one bedroom flat. and she strongly defended her reasons.

Kimoni:


A void was left in her heart, it couldnt be in that state for too long. Not trying to exonerate her but it is what it is. Only she should have risen above her problems. That's what strong woman do. They rise above their current challenges.

Why don't you believe he picked up smoking, drinking and womanizing after he lost him job? That's exactly what depressed people do. They try to fill up the emptiness in their hearts with different thoughts and vices. Teebillz?

edwife:
Kimoni when we talk about comfort we need to understand that what you call comfort is not what i call comfort.
There were a thread where a girl said that she can not marry a man who lives in a one bedroom flat. and she strongly defended her reasons.

CFCman:

Should a man that lives in a two-bedroom apartment get married?

edwife:


A man can get married irrespective of where he lives. The only thing is to find someone who is contented and ready to make it TOGETHER.

Kimoni:


How many women truly do not believe in headship? And pls let's forget NL. We both know better

Kimoni:


Hahaha very ambitious babe! Her mama taught her very well. Can't fault her.
My only question is - what is she also bringing to the union? And if that money stops somewhere, can she sustain the lifestyle she desires so much?

CFCman:

Correct! That's why you're a CFC fan; you're reasonable

edwife:


Nah, teebillz was already doing that before he became broke and he was still making money sweetheart. He bought a Mercedes(she only pay 3 Mill to finish the debt) and was going to the barber twice a week,so he had some changes the only problem it wasn't in tiwa level.

Isn't it Tiwa who said he made 45M from scam?

I do understand that people tend to pick bad habits when they are depressed,an idle minds is the devils workshops.But she also she that he quits the habit he developed when he was jobless but the guy still jobless,what changed?

edwife:


LMAO that is a question for the "gods"...

Kimoni:


We are only assuming he had these habits before, neither party said so. We also didn't hear he was making money, we heard he was borrowing and incurring debts upon debts, but pls let's even leave them alone.

You rightly said people pick up bad habits when they are broke so we good. And it's also possible to quit before you get a job cuz it's a struggle within oneself. With the help of family and friends counseling/advising/nagging, it's very possible to win that battle before the job comes but long term sustainability is another issue entirely especially if he remains jobless.

edwife:


Lol thanks my fellow CFC, hope you are ready for Tottenham?

CFCman:

Correct! That's why you're a CFC fan; you're reasonable