jaybee3:

You may or will?

lol...he meant he WILL send it. Thanks bro

Silvofitz - pls do the needful asap

Thanks sis @tearoses. Just contacted Ayolight, she will come read up and help out.

tearoses:


Sivofitz Sorry I don’t know iya Sunday personally.
I’ve just braided my hair there before and I know that she has tens of braiders who work for her.
She is the largest hairdresser in the market and she has lots of girls working for her so she may be willing to take on the lady. Its worth a try.

There is not much that I can do from my end as I am not on ground either and so hopefully a Nairalander in Ibadan/links to Ibadan will come forward soon and be able to verify this ladies story but in the mean time you need to be clear on her immediate needs so that they can be met.
Donations alone will not solve all the issues. There is still a fair degree of background leg work and follow up support for this lady that is also required.

The poor woman called me about 9am, and said she was already combing Aleshinloye market looking for Iya Sunday salon. I actually thought you knew her personally. I hope she would found her.

olu4life:
Thanks sis @tearoses. Just contacted Ayolight, she will come read up and help out.

Ok ma. I ll. Can i get d woman and d OP contact. So i can do dat. I cnt access my mail nw. Cos i dnt do proper subscription. So u can send it to Olu4life or ma'am tearoses. They ll send it to me.

tearoses:


Sivofitz Sorry I don’t know iya Sunday personally.
I’ve just braided my hair there before and I know that she has tens of braiders who work for her.
She is the largest hairdresser in the market and she has lots of girls working for her so she may be willing to take on the lady. Its worth a try.

There is not much that I can do from my end as I am not on ground either and so hopefully a Nairalander in Ibadan/links to Ibadan will come forward soon and be able to verify this ladies story but in the mean time you need to be clear on her immediate needs so that they can be met.
Donations alone will not solve all the issues. There is still a fair degree of background leg work and follow up support for this lady that is also required.

The woman has finally located Iya Sunday's salon, and she said the workers she met there said Iya Sunday was hardly around, and that she's presently not in the country.
However, I have sent her phone number to @Olu4life, and @jayBee3, to further verify her claims. I also sent the video containing the interview where she made those claims. I hope the video was delivered.

Silvofitz:


The woman has finally located Iya Sunday's salon, and she said the workers she met there said Iya Sunday was hardly around, and that she's presently not in the country.
However, I have sent her phone number to @Olu4life, and @jayBee3, to further verify her claims. I also sent the video containing the interview where she made those claims. I hope the video was delivered.

Yet to receive it. Hope u got my mailmail?

Update on verification/next steps

A NL member has managed to verify her claims and has since put the following into action:
She has been instructed to look for a room as the Nler has offered to pay 2 years rent

She currently works at an eatery with a daily income of 500 naira and her wish is to supplement this income by selling noodles. Anyone willing to support her with this can do so

The Nairalander has promised to visit her sometime next month so see if their can be some sort of arrangement/agreement for co-parenting going forward

Thanks to everyone
God bless you all

cc
jaybee
kimoni
onegai
silvofitz
olu4life
ayolight

tearoses:
Update on verification/next steps

A NL member has managed to verify her claims and has since put the following into action:
She has been instructed to look for a room as the Nler has offered to pay 2 years rent

She currently works at an eatery with a daily income of 500 naira and her wish is to supplement this income by selling noodles. Anyone willing to support her with this can do so

The Nairalander has promised to visit her sometime next month so see if their can be some sort of arrangement/agreement for co-parenting going forward

Thanks to everyone
God bless you all

cc
jaybee
kimoni
onegai
silvofitz
olu4life
ayolight

This is heart warming. May God soothe the pain of everyone where the shoe pinches. Let's keep brightening the corner where we are. Let's keep doing our bits to help humanity. In doing this, we shall make the world a better place. God bless you all. I shall continue to update you.

@tearoses that's great to hear.

Tearoses, that's good news. I'll ask a lawyer tomorrow (I'm a bit concerned about what will be presented to a magistrate if they ask if she can sustain herself and how she paid for her accomodation. I'll also ask if he has any clues on her way forward). But tell her to please inform the church she was sleeping in: she needs her support base and even if she gets visitation, there is no saying what could happen. So she shouldn't be going alone and NLers may not be available everytime for a visit. Let her focus on work for now.

tearoses:
Update on verification/next steps

A NL member has managed to verify her claims and has since put the following into action:
She has been instructed to look for a room as the Nler has offered to pay 2 years rent

She currently works at an eatery with a daily income of 500 naira and her wish is to supplement this income by selling noodles. Anyone willing to support her with this can do so

The Nairalander has promised to visit her sometime next month so see if their can be some sort of arrangement/agreement for co-parenting going forward

Thanks to everyone
God bless you all

cc
jaybee
kimoni
onegai
silvofitz
olu4life
ayolight

Goodnews. God bless u ma and d Nler dat wnts to assist.u shall not lack. God bless Nigeria. God bless Nairalanders

Please is the lady legally married to the man or she just did traditions rites.

Onegai:
Please is the lady legally married to the man or she just did traditions rites.

she's not legally married. She did traditional marriage.

Silvofitz:

she's not legally married. She did traditional marriage.

There's an Office of a Public Defender in Osun state. Since she's not legally married, things are slightly more difficult: she may not be able to get childcare payments for the child and custody will be tricky. She will most likely have to go to Customary court (which is the only place that recognises Traditional marriage). Her best her is to find the Office of Public Defender, but more importantly, try for an amicable custody agreement without the courts. She needs to explain all this to a lawyer and there are usually lawyers hanging around the courts looking for clients. All she needs to do is explain her case and get advise then decide if she wants to hire one. She needs a source of income coming in (a woman who is unemployed can get childcare from her legal husband, I don't know about a woman who is not legally married. And that can be used to keep her away from the child).

Progress Update:

We've now found a suitable place for her to rent and subsequently paid N40K (2 years rent) towards it.

She has also been empowered with N36K for her chosen side business so as to supplement her income

She has been advised to continue with her paid employment as that's a guaranteed buffer until her chosen business picks up

We will endeavor to pay her a visit in the coming month so as to help mediate on the parental arrangement issue.

Thanks to the Nairalanders that donated to this worthy cause

Regards

CC:
Tearoses
Kimoni
Silvofitz

jaybee3:
Progress Update:

We've now found a suitable place for her to rent and subsequently paid N40K (2 years rent) towards it.

She has also been empowered with N36K for her chosen side business so as to supplement her income

She has been advised to continue with her paid employment as that's a guaranteed buffer until her chosen business picks up

We will endeavor to pay her a visit in the coming month so as to help mediate on the parental arrangement issue.

Thanks to the Nairalanders that donated to this worthy cause

Regards

CC:
Tearoses
Kimoni
Silvofitz

While we appreciate those who have contributed one way or the other to alleviating the suffering of this young woman, I also want to appeal to the woman who's holding the rent fee in Ibadan to please follow this lady to the agent in charge of the proposed room and pay on time before another takes the apartment. I called Ibadan yesterday, and I'm surprised Tope could still not access the money. In fact, the first room she got had been taken, because the woman with the money claimed she was too busy to follow her to pay for the rented apartment. As we speak, Tope still sleeps in the cold. She said she's got another apartment, I appeal the woman in charge of the money do the needful urgently, and let her move into the apartment today.
Also, since #36k has been raised to augment her business capital, let the people in charge make sure this money actually get to her on time.
Whatever I hear from her, I will keep you updated.
Thank you all.

Silvofitz:

While we appreciate those who have contributed one way or the to alleviating the suffering of this young woman, I also want to appeal to the woman who's holding the rent fee in Ibadan to please follow this lady to the agent in charge of the proposed room and pay on time before another takes the apartment. I called Ibadan yesterday, and I'm surprised Tope could still not access the money. In fact, the first room she got had been taken, because the woman with the money claimed she was too busy to follow her to pay for the rented apartment. As we speak, Tope still sleeps in the cold. She said she's got another apartment, I appeal the woman in charge of the money do the needful urgently, and let her move into the apartment today.
Also, since #36k has been raised to augment her business capital, let the people in charge make sure this money actually get to her on time.
Whatever I hear from her, I will keep you updated.
Thank you all.

The person in charge of the money is her boss so it's pointless appealing online.

We can't put pressure on her boss since she is doing us a favour and we can't hand the rent money to her as it's with specific instruction.

Progress has been made with regards to raising funds and getting a structure in place to help her so it's uncool to be adding unnecessary sentiments

76k is not a lot of money so engaging in actions that might sever ties with her boss (guaranteed income) is not an option. She needs to exercise patience

I'm actually kinda pissed with your submission

jaybee3:


The person in charge of the money is her boss so it's pointless appealing online.

We can't put pressure on her boss since she is doing us a favour and we can't hand the rent money to her as it's with specific instruction.

Progress has been made with regards to raising funds and getting a structure in place to help her so it's uncool to be adding unnecessary sentiments

76k is not a lot of money so engaging in actions that might sever ties with her boss (guaranteed income) is not an option. She needs to exercise patience

I'm actually kinda pissed with your submission

Like the saying goes, Beggars have no choice. That's what I can really make out of Jaybee3's comment. Or how else could one explain Jaybee's response?
One, I'm not in Ibadan. I only call Tope once in a while to know the latest development. She said The first apartment she got had been taken because she couldn't pay on time. And She said she just got another one, and I think it's just reasonable to pay before it's taken again. I didn't know the woman in question is her boss.
Two. If the woman puts this needy young woman in the position of her own daughter, I'm sure she would be more eager to take her to the proposed rented apartment, since the money is ready.
3. I don't have the woman's contact, and like I have told Tope, anything about this issue would be discussed on this forum for transparency. So, this forum is the only medium I could reach anyone involved.
4. I see no sentiment in all I have said. Did any part of my appeal state that the money be given to her? I only said the woman should find time to follow her to the rented apartment.

Silvofitz:


Like the saying goes, Beggars have no choice. That's what I can really make out of Jaybee3's comment. Or how else could one explain Jaybee's response?
One, I'm not in Ibadan. I only call Tope once in a while to know the latest development. She said The first apartment she got had been taken because she couldn't pay on time. And She said she just got another one, and I think it's just reasonable to pay before it's taken again. I didn't know the woman in question is her boss.
Two. If the woman puts this needy young woman in the position of her own daughter, I'm sure she would be more eager to take her to the proposed rented apartment, since the money is ready.
3. I don't have the woman's contact, and like I have told Tope, anything about this issue would be discussed on this forum for transparency. So, this forum is the only medium I could reach anyone involved.
4. I see no sentiment in all I have said. Did any part of my appeal state that the money be given to her? I only said the woman should find time to follow her to the rented apartment.

Going back and forth with you on this topic will create unnecessary diversion.

You are definitely right about a beggar having no choice especially when due diligence must not be compromised.

PS: Nothing stops you from contacting the boss in question to help speed the process or whatnot

You need to stop whining if you can't be of much help

jaybee3:


Going back and forth with you on this topic will create unnecessary diversion.

You are definitely right about a beggar having no choice especially when due diligence must not be compromised.

PS: Nothing stops you from contacting the boss in question to help speed the process or whatnot

You need to stop whining if you can't be of much help

I'm sure you did not mean to insult me.

Silvofitz:

While we appreciate those who have contributed one way or the other to alleviating the suffering of this young woman, I also want to appeal to the woman who's holding the rent fee in Ibadan to please follow this lady to the agent in charge of the proposed room and pay on time before another takes the apartment. I called Ibadan yesterday, and I'm surprised Tope could still not access the money. In fact, the first room she got had been taken, because the woman with the money claimed she was too busy to follow her to pay for the rented apartment. As we speak, Tope still sleeps in the cold. She said she's got another apartment, I appeal the woman in charge of the money do the needful urgently, and let her move into the apartment today.
Also, since #36k has been raised to augment her business capital, let the people in charge make sure this money actually get to her on time.
Whatever I hear from her, I will keep you updated.
Thank you all.

Slivovitz, I can feel a sense of urgency with the way you have dished instructions to anonymous people in this post, emphasis on the bolded. If this is the case, then it's not enough for you to keep saying you are not on ground to resolve anything, but available to come online to whine about the efforts others are making.

If you really want things done "today" and "on time", you should leave whatever you are doing, wherever you are, get to Ibadan immediately and resolve Tope's issues once and for all.

But honestly, you have no moral ground to be dishing out instructions you are unable to carry out, your excuses notwithstanding.

Heartbreaking! Women shud learn to be independent before getting marriage. We r no more in the days of our forefathers. Men neglect their wives cos of side chick these days. Once their mind is elsewhere hard to get them back. Wish her all the best.

Hmm

Kimoni:


Slivovitz, I can feel a sense of urgency with the way you have dished instructions to anonymous people in this post, emphasis on the bolded. If this is the case, then it's not enough for you to keep saying you are not on ground to resolve anything, but available to come online to whine about the efforts others are making.

If you really want things done "today" and "on time", you should leave whatever you are doing, wherever you are, get to Ibadan immediately and resolve Tope's issues once and for all.

But honestly, you have no moral ground to be dishing out instructions you are unable to carry out, your excuses notwithstanding.

This is really presumptuous! I went to Ibadan Saturday, just to ensure that the issue of rent was sorted out this weekend since Tope said there was a vacant room somewhere. I called the woman that I was on my way from Lagos, and called Tope too to get ready so that the three of us would go see the agent. The woman said she was at a function at Olodo area of Ibadan, and that she would be through by 5:30pm. So, I proposed we meet at Gate since the proposed room is at Oje Area, very close to Gate. I told Tope to also call the agent to come to Gate around that time. By 5:30pm, the woman was not ready. And when I called around 6:00pm, she said she was just leaving Olodo, and that it was late for her to go see the agent. By that time I had seen Tope. I now suggested we meet after church service the following day, because I would have to travel back to Lagos that Sunday. The woman said she wouldn't be through with Sunday service until 5:30pm. At that point I told Tope to arrange with her. In my presence, Tope called her and told her she would come to her so that they would go see the agent on Sunday evening. The woman declined, and said if she needed her money she should come for it on Monday.

Well, I will appreciate if you guys could spare me some of these uncouth words. Or which one is whine, rigmarole , back and forth, chair barber, again? Abeg!

Maybe the woman doesn't really want to help her.

Anyway make I

Silvofitz:

This is really presumptuous! I went to Ibadan Saturday, just to ensure that the issue of rent was sorted out this weekend since Tope said there was a vacant room somewhere. I called the woman that I was on my way from Lagos, and called Tope too to get ready so that the three of us would go see the agent. The woman said she was at a function at Olodo area of Ibadan, and that she would be through by 5:30pm. So, I proposed we meet at Gate since the proposed room is at Oje Area, very close to Gate. I told Tope to also call the agent to come to Gate around that time. By 5:30pm, the woman was not ready. And when I called around 6:00pm, she said she was just leaving Olodo, and that it was late for her to go see the agent. By that time I had seen Tope. I now suggested we meet after church service the following day, because I would have to travel back to Lagos that Sunday. The woman said she wouldn't be through with Sunday service until 5:30pm. At that point I told Tope to arrange with her. In my presence, Tope called her and told her she would come to her so that they would go see the agent on Sunday evening. The woman declined, and said if she needed her money she should come for it on Monday.

Well, I will appreciate if you guys could spare me some of these uncouth words. Or which one is whine, rigmarole , back and forth, chair barber, again? Abeg!

Seems the woman wants to be funny. I won't trust such a person IMHO

@ silvofitz
You gave not done anything wrong by calling on those that gave the rent mandate to her boss, ensure she's available to pay the rent especially considering the rent money is already with her. I really do not understand why @jaybees seemed to have taken your request as offensive.

You have given/dedicated your time(online and offline) to Tope's cause, which is good/commendable, but knowing as naija people don't usually value time, I suspect my naija people are expecting make you sef contribute some money
So I'm guessing that's why you're getting some response that seemed negative. If to say you sef don contribute some rent money now,...

Personally, I think it was the wrong step to involve boss with the rent payment, usually I don't advice any monetary relationship should exist between employer and employee other than official capacity. Especially in a case like this, it could affect the relationship, hence Tope's job. But hey!, what do I know.

Kudos to all those that have assisted the Lady, you are blessed.

bily:
@ silvofitz
You gave not done anything wrong by calling on those that gave the rent mandate to her boss, ensure she's available to pay the rent especially considering the rent money is already with her. I really do not understand why @jaybees seemed to have taken your request as offensive.

You have given/dedicated your time(online and offline) to Tope's cause, which is good/commendable, but knowing as naija people don't usually value time, I suspect my naija people are expecting make you sef contribute some money
So I'm guessing that's why you're getting some response that seemed negative. If to say you sef don contribute some rent money now,...

Personally, I think it was the wrong step to involve boss with the rent payment, usually I don't advice any monetary relationship should exist between employer and employee other than official capacity. Especially in a case like this, it could affect the relationship, hence Tope's job. But hey!, what do I know.

Kudos to all those that have assisted the Lady, you are blessed.

Just so you know, i was the one that gave her the rent money (I don't usually blow my own trumpet but i'd like you to see it from my own perspective) and my way of ensuring the money was used for the intended purpose is by delegating the responsibility of making the payment on my behalf to someone i can hold accountable.
It really doesn't matter now though as i've since been reliably told silvofitz advised the girl in question to forcefully demand the whole money from the boss which she was then advised to oblige by bystanders as the girl turned it into a shouting match.

The imapct of her action is as follows:
We have no way of knowing if the girl will use the donated money for the intended purpose,
She has severed ties from the job that gives her some sort of guaranteed income

Lessons learnt though so moving on

So the madam is only a custodian of the money and is finding it difficult releasing the rent money. Our people sha.
Her forceful action of demanding the money is totally uncalled for, even though I understand her condition and it's state of urgency.Patience is indeed a virtue which I think she ditched in this situation.

This is seeming like a frustrated effort afterall cos I wonder where she intends getting a regular income if her action finally severes her relationship with her boss.

God bless your home and work @jaybee3 and everyone that has contributed tremendously to this.

Silvofitz:

This is really presumptuous! I went to Ibadan Saturday, just to ensure that the issue of rent was sorted out this weekend since Tope said there was a vacant room somewhere. I called the woman that I was on my way from Lagos, and called Tope too to get ready so that the three of us would go see the agent. The woman said she was at a function at Olodo area of Ibadan, and that she would be through by 5:30pm. So, I proposed we meet at Gate since the proposed room is at Oje Area, very close to Gate. I told Tope to also call the agent to come to Gate around that time. By 5:30pm, the woman was not ready. And when I called around 6:00pm, she said she was just leaving Olodo, and that it was late for her to go see the agent. By that time I had seen Tope. I now suggested we meet after church service the following day, because I would have to travel back to Lagos that Sunday. The woman said she wouldn't be through with Sunday service until 5:30pm. At that point I told Tope to arrange with her. In my presence, Tope called her and told her she would come to her so that they would go see the agent on Sunday evening. The woman declined, and said if she needed her money she should come for it on Monday.

Well, I will appreciate if you guys could spare me some of these uncouth words. Or which one is whine, rigmarole , back and forth, chair barber, again? Abeg!

You have made a silly mistake. From the get-go, you have put a sense of urgency on a case that wasn't as urgent as you made it out to be. People have come here desperate to survive for the sake of their health and have not acted like this. Everyone here knew and could foresee how things would go. Which is why so many suggestions were made but you wanted it done your way and at your pace. If you felt the madam was not moving quickly, what stopped you from reporting here and asking the people in charge to take a look in the matter and sitting patiently for the weekend whilst they sorted out everything? What stopped you from asking Tope to inform the church and say that she had gotten help and all that was needed for the church to keep an eye on her for safety for a few days? Instead you encouraged Tope to go cause a scene to get the money. Short-term rewards when everyone was looking at long-term solutions! Did you forget she needs a job, that she needs people to help mediate in her custody case? Whom do you think is going to want to help out now that you have shown us you are willing to go to any lengths to get things done your way? Do you think anyone is going to ask a lawyer to get involved in this, pro bono (for free) only for you to go and ask Tope to cause a scene when you feel things aren't moving quickly? Do you think anyone will go and ask someone to help her with a job, seeing this behaviour?

Good luck to you and Tope.

jaybee3:


Just so you know, i was the one that gave her the rent money (I don't usually blow my own trumpet but i'd like you to see it from my own perspective) and my way of ensuring the money was used for the intended purpose is by delegating the responsibility of making the payment on my behalf to someone i can hold accountable.
It really doesn't matter now though as i've since been reliably told silvofitz advised the girl in question to forcefully demand the whole money from the boss which she was then advised to oblige by bystanders as the girl turned it into a shouting match.

The imapct of her action is as follows:
We have no way of knowing if the girl will use the donated money for the intended purpose,
She has severed ties from the job that gives her some sort of guaranteed income

Lessons learnt though so moving on

Wow!
Silvofitz if its indeed true that you advised the girl to forcefully demand the money then thats just too bad and you haven't done the girl any favours in the long term
Infact you have made things worse for her
This same Jaybee was going to go and visit the lady and try to negotiate with the husband on custody on his next trip but you have both blown it all up with gra gra. A lot of things go on in the background that many people are not aware of

Jaybee thank you for paying this ladies rent and thank you to all the others that donated to her cause and advise/support

Jaybee, pls chin up and dont let this stop you from what you do.

@Jaybee3,

If i were you, i would be very angry and even blame myself for getting involved in this issue.

But I beg you, Please for the sake of that innocent child who still need the care and love of his mother, please dont give up.

Also remember that little boy whose step mothers tortured all because his mother wasnt there to defend him.

From the pictures, the little boy does not appear maltreated, but we never can tell.

So please I beg you in the name of God and other well meaning people who have been helping or who want to help, not to give up on Tope's case.

@Silvofitz, You Must APOLOGIZE for all your utterances. And let us all talk about the way forward.

Thank you all!