knuckbuck:


My kids unfortunately see all these things but they r really young. The way it works, my has more to gain if she gets divorce here and there's no way she'll agree to have it done in Nigeria. Yes, my has cheated with the active conniving of her mum. I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is.

JeffreyJamez:
KnuckBuck.....there is nothing to save here....be real.....Give her what she wants..I believe your children will understand...You might think they are too young to comprehend what is happening, but trust me, they do...let her go and concentrate on raising responsible kids.

CaraJewel:
shez tryin to be smart..show her ur smarter ur lettin her get away wit dis tinz...she won agree xo tz u dat wil agree na..jxt carry urselve and kids to nig...stAy like a month lemme see if she wont follow den u send ur own divorce papers..two can play..tz nt about u bt dose kids çuz if dey stay wid her plus ur mil..mmm dey fit hate u join

knuckbuck:



The way it works here, she gets the kids. The thought of my kids growing up with her under the influence of my mother-in-law sends a shiver down my spine.

JeffreyJamez:



If you can prove she cant take care of them, cant they give you the kids?

knuckbuck:


Most States in US are mummy states. What that means is, in the case of divorce a woman gets the children. Unless u can prove she is incapable of taking care of the kids which is difficult unless she is a drug addict. Even if she does not have a job they expect the man to support by giving child support. That's what she's hoping to get.

JeffreyJamez:


At least try.......is she Nigerian?

knuckbuck:


You are right. My job will not let me go to Nigeria to stay that long. I'm too busy to be travelling back and forth. We already have a case in court already. I know she thinks she's being smart. I know that but in the end I see her foolishness. I feel for my kids. I can wake up, take my bag, leave all my properties for her and within two years I'll be back! It's not about that, it's about my children and how I want them raised. If we were in Nigeria, we won't even be having this nonsense.

CaraJewel:
tough tho...chai God wat a woman..if u were in naij no nid for divorce..jxt return d f.ucking bride price..hope d older kids knw dat tz deir mum datz wrong

knuckbuck:


My older kids are 8yrs old. They r twins and they understand. They hate the fact their mother is always going to Nigeria. She's travelled to Nigeria 3 times this year already all because she wants to be with her mother and all that cost money!

knuckbuck:


Yes she's Nigerian. My lawyer has told me plainly that she gets to keep the kids. We can have joint custody but she gets to keep the kids.

CaraJewel:
y i knw..fligt ticket is almst 500k...plz stop givin her money...if tz joint acct close it...

knuckbuck:


I have closed most of the avenues. Joint account closed and all that. A woman will always find a way. She's run our credit card cos of this nonsense. My brother, I'm just tired. She thinks she's fighting me but it's the whole family she's fighting. I'm paying lawyers, she's paying lawyers, we r wasting money that could be used to take care of us.

CaraJewel:
m a sister o

knuckbuck:


Yes o CaraJewel. We have been wasting money on things that don't even matter. She hired an expensive Chinese Divorce lawyer in her desperation. The had been eating her money for months before she finally filed for a divorce with restraining order. It cost me money to get my own lawyer that responded and the restraining order was withdrawn. They hinged all their case on the restraining order and in one fell swoop they withdrew it.

knuckbuck:
I am a married man with three children under the age of 8yrs. We have been married for 9 years. I am faithful and have never cheated. My mother-in-law and I never agree because of her wayward way of life. She has encouraged my wife to have adulterous relationships. My mother-in-law abandoned her kids when my wife was about rounding up SSCE. When I met my wife she had no idea where her mum was. After we started dating she finally reunited with her mum. She used to be close with her Dad, now she views her Dad as the worst human being on earth and the mother as the only person important in her life. She has repeatedly abandoned me and the children just to be with her for months at a time.
January 2016, my mother-in-law told me she will make my marriage to her daughter come to an end, and she does not care what she does to make it happen. She said she does not know what she has gained from the marriage. She said we have neither bought her a car no built her a house. My parents, elders, my wife's father etc have begged her but she insists as long as she is concerned, it is over. My wife listens to only her mother and no one else. My wife has filed for divorce even though she does not have any steady form of income but she does not care. She's expecting to get at least a house and child support to sustain her.
Note, my mother-in-law has no steady source of income either. She depends on my wife for rent and even feeding. I have heard stories of what my wife does when she visits her mum. I know all these but for the sake of my children I am trying to make the marriage work!
House, what can I do? What should I do? I'm so confused and it's affecting even my job! Help!

CaraJewel:
u can sell d property she is eyeing..keep d money or invest in it witawt her knwing..pretend like ur broke or smtin...if ur work can transfer u to anoda place..better too

DeLioncourt:


brother... the truth is that the matter is almost out of your hands. if you can't get them to reason with you or anybody, my suggestion is simple. save your neck.
before sh*t goes awry and they do something royally stupid...that may endanger you or your kids. as a wise man once said "fly wey no gree leave shit go follow am enter grave".
if she can't consider the children and behave herself, you have to save yourself n the kids before you're pulled into the black hole they're creating.

JaySea:
@ knuckbuck:

Bro I feel your concern. The thought of your kids turning out the way you strongly abhor is driving your decisions so far. And not to talk of the amount of effort, time and resources that will be lost if the divorce goes through - the western world is very different from Nigeria (the woman gets to keep almost everything).

From what you've mentioned so far I have extracted these points:

- the wife was a good person until she reunited with her mum.
- the MIL made it clear she was after some benefits from you and/or her daughter ( her wanting to travel to the US seems to be her driving motivation; even when it is desirable that her own sons go their in her stead).
-your wife came to Nigeria to see her mum and she came back with some fetish juju-like objects from a so-called pastor her mum introduced her to.

My conclusion from above is that your wife is being hoodwinked by her mother. God knows I am not religious but I understand the environment I live in and what people can do when they are desperate to get whatever they desire without being guided by humanist values.

You MIL is diabolical (in this context, someone who will use juju powers to get what she wants). She wants to control her daughter so that she can get some benefits from you two. If your wife was previously not like this before their reunion then she is NOT the enemy here. You MIL is.

Now to solutions: there are many ways to skin this cat. Obiorathesubtle has given one, which appears extreme, but nevertheless contains a valuable essence. Which is the need to break her hold on her daughter.

Obiorathesubtle suggested you eliminate the MIL, I say just destroy her negative influence over her daughter; eliminating the MIL should not be considered.
Now before I continue I need to ask: are you religious or not? And if you are; Christian, Muslim or otherwise?

(Your religious belief will determine the kind of solutions I will suggest. And once again I want to state that I myself am not religious; I only know the nature of people in this part of the world)

You marriage is worth saving. Don't give up yet. Your wife is not the enemy.

obiorathesubtle:
Extreme? Lol.. Cut the Tree from the stem and watch it grow up again, uproot from the root and it'll never grow again...


This is a bad tree and should be treated as such...


Open, don't say I didn't warn you when monster-in-law is still alive and kicking, you managed to scale through stage one of her torment... Do you think stage 2 or stage 3 would be easier? Kill the witch and live free...

JaySea:
@ knuckbuck:

Bro I feel your concern. The thought of your kids turning out the way you strongly abhor is driving your decisions so far. And not to talk of the amount of effort, time and resources that will be lost if the divorce goes through - the western world is very different from Nigeria (the woman gets to keep almost everything).

From what you've mentioned so far I have extracted these points:

- the wife was a good person until she reunited with her mum.
- the MIL made it clear she was after some benefits from you and/or her daughter ( her wanting to travel to the US seems to be her driving motivation; even when it is desirable that her own sons go there in her stead).
-your wife came to Nigeria to see her mum and she came back with some fetish juju-like objects from a so-called pastor her mum introduced her to.

My conclusion from above is that your wife is being hoodwinked by her mother. God knows I am not religious but I understand the environment I live in and what people can do when they are desperate to get whatever they desire without being guided by humanist values.

You MIL is diabolical (in this context, someone who will use juju powers to get what she wants). She wants to control her daughter so that she can get some benefits from you two. If your wife was previously not like this before their reunion then she is NOT the enemy here. You MIL is.

Now to solutions: there are many ways to skin this cat. Obiorathesubtle has given one, which appears extreme, but nevertheless contains a valuable essence. Which is the need to break her hold on her daughter.

Obiorathesubtle suggested you eliminate the MIL, I say just destroy her negative influence over her daughter; eliminating the MIL should not be considered.
Now before I continue I need to ask: are you religious or not? And if you are; Christian, Muslim or otherwise?

(Your religious belief will determine the kind of solutions I will suggest. And once again I want to state that I myself am not religious; I only know the nature of people in this part of the world)

You marriage is worth saving. Don't give up yet. Your wife is not the enemy.

obiorathesubtle:
Extreme? Lol.. Cut the Tree from the stem and watch it grow up again, uproot from the root and it'll never grow again...


This is a bad tree and should be treated as such...


Open, don't say I didn't warn you when monster-in-law is still alive and kicking, you managed to scale through stage one of her torment... Do you think stage 2 or stage 3 would be easier? Kill the witch and live free...

JaySea:


When a Lion loses the ability to hunt with its teeth it loses its ability to survive. It even gets ejected as the head of it pride and usually dies after.

Obiora you want the threat posed by the MIL to be eliminated. I want that too. Our ways of achieving that is just different.

What if there is a way to resolve this issue without expending valuable effort, energy and our moral values by killing another human being; doesn't logic dictates that we take that path Obiorathesubtle?

(Destroy your enemy's attack capability and they may as well be powerless over you).

knuckbuck:


LOL. Let's show mercy maybe she'll repent. My prayer is that she changes for the benefit of everyone.

knuckbuck:


You are right but it's not easy trying to save the children because the law will favor her and that is my fear. They have tried all kinds of things but God has saved me. There are things that have happened that I know it can only be God saving me.

obiorathesubtle:
But you have forgotten context..


You said a lion who has lost its ability to hunt, something equal or suitable will be made available.. Call it effect of instinct.. The Lion will always kill or die, because it's nature for a lion to kill and hunt..



The is about a thorn in a man's flesh, do you nurse it and hope for the pains to one day seize while the thorn is still very much in your flesh? Your skin can't grow on a foreign body like a thorn. You'll die of an infection or blood loss or something.


The only approach is to remove the thorn from the skin and throw it away..

1. Where it will never pierce you or anyone again.

2. It might've been useful to the rose or whatever plant that bore it.. But it hurt you, or do you think plants don't have feelings?? So you throw it away.. The plant's loss.. But your gain..


It's never a win win.. Something has to go out for peace to be permanent..


My advice, make it look like a natural death, give her a befitting burial..

Extreme, but effective.. No margin for error.. Eliminate the woman, she has lived out her purpose and more.

knuckbuck:



Lol. You will never have an enemy because they'll be too scared to confront you. You like solution permanent and brutal.

knuckbuck:


Thank you very much. I'm very religious and I'm a Christian. My MIL is a very wicked woman. I've invited her over to the US but she was turned back when she got here because she lied in her travel document and her false certificates with false names and dates of birth. They cancelled her visa and put her on a plane back to Nigeria without letting her into the country.
She has been trying to get a new Passport for over 2yrs but with the new biometric data system she has not been able to do that. Even with all these problems she's still desperate to come back.

obiorathesubtle:
Lol. I'm absolute, I'm loving.. I want to seat at a table with friends and not enemies.. I never want to make enemies.. But I meet adversary with brute force..


Has kept me going, you will be loved and feared..

knuckbuck:



Lol. You will never have an enemy because they'll be too scared to confront you. You like solution permanent and brutal.