For a 20 years old girl to get married, is it right? .......... According the her parents, the guy came when she who just 18 years and still in secondary school but was rejected by the parents bcoz she was underaged and still in ss3 .

Then after 2 years the guy came back again and still begs the parents to marry her but she had wrote jamb this year and is still waiting for the screening and admission to commence. The only reason that guy wanted to get married to the girl is because he said that he like natural fair skin ladies, intelligent and from the same village ( home town ). He had promised her that he would take care of her education when married to her . From the parents view, the guy is from a very good home.

They asks my opinion on the matter and what I thought is that the girl has not matured enough. I hadn't reply to the parents so I seek to get information first before replying. .

The girl in question is my little sister. .. Please I need advice from married or someone that has an experience of it. .. Please

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most guys that actually promise to send the girls to school after marriage do not do it.... they are usually afraid that they will mix and meet people of their age or meet better guys. let her discover herself

but if youre okay with playing probability with the life and future of your sister then agree

meanwhile being an housewife means you need to ask for money for maggi toothpaste.... and on a day he tells u i dnt have you cant shout or argue

My Mum married at the Age of 21-22. She was majoring in nursing at then. Well, 25 years later and counting, she is very, very happy and blessed in the union. And that's cos she loved my Dad. What I'm trying to say is maturity isn't the precursor to a happy marriage. Love is. So I ask is your sister in love with the man? Or is this just a case of arranged marriage? At that age 20, she's physically ready. But socially, mentally & emotionally, I don't know.

IMO......It is not wrong for a girl to marry at the age of 20. however, there are somethings to consider.
what is their age difference? if he is of a reasonable age and mature enough then that's okay.
why is the guy that interested in her? there must be other naturally light skinned girls it the same village,is it really natural likeness or could there be a negative reason behind it? is he a humble, respectful and respectable person? or he is just looking for a young girl that (is everything he is not)he would control

Did anybody ask her opinion yet? is she interested in the guy? in the marriage?

If all is checked and the guy comes out good, then its OK

at 20 what she should be thinking of is her education and how to build a successful career for herself
is your sister ready for the toils and hassles of marriage?
is she willng to get married to im?
is she mentally mature for what comes afterwards?
these are some of the questions you should be asking her

By the way,she being light_skinned is a lame reason to wana get married to her

Let your sis finish school and get a good job before thinking of marriage because marriage of today is not guaranteed but her career is.....Just think about the pros and cons of your sister getting married at that young age without any achievement yet

VolT0xic:
My Mum married at the Age of 21-22. She was majoring in nursing at then. Well, 25 years later and counting, she is very, very happy and blessed in the union. And that's cos she loved my Dad. What I'm trying to say is maturity isn't the precursor to a happy marriage. Love is. So I ask is your sister in love with the man? Or is this just a case of arranged marriage? At that age 20, she's physically ready. But socially, mentally & emotionally, I don't know.

Are you really comparing 25years ago with today? Besides what worked for one may not work for another.

There's no stipulated age for a woman as long as she's no longer a minor. The most important thing is what your sister really want. in my opinion, your sister should focus on her education because with exposure, women tend to change their priorities especially concerning marriage. If there's no strong footing for her, she might end up being a housewife which will not favor her on the long run. some men don't fulfill their promise of sending their wives to school after wedding. One of my classmates in high school is yet to recover from that failed promise.

Above all, your parents should not force her if she doesn't really want to get married now. As for you, you can only advice her and not decide for her.

What is your sisters opinion on the marriage? Is it what she wants or you just want to marry her off for money? I hope the latter isnt the case here because one, she isn't merchandise and two she might end up unhappy if you force her into marriage.

Also what about the man in question? How is his character? Forget the family he comes from and examine his own character if he is a good person because many men that look for girls of 18 to 20 years and promise to train them are only looking for small wives that they can easily intimidate and bully left and right. They are not looking for a companion or partner. They want someone to lord over and control so examine his character first.

she's more than 18..... yes
it's her choice..... yes
after marriage education continues....... yes



it's her RIGHT

Because the guy came before and was chased out by my parents then come again years later to ask her hand in marriage , he has even told our relatives and uncle about it, asked them to beg my parents for him to get married to her. He even begs my mum's friend for them to convince my mum, and it's makes me suspicious about him... But I kept silent bcoz I don't want to be a prosperity blocker and the guy is really successful and people said he is from a good background.

Because of it my mum went to so many prophets to know if the guy is really meant for her, the prophets saying the same thing that the guy is good but she will get pregnant immediately he marries her and for her education, its left for my dad to negotiate with him. .. So times I thought that these prophets are just using their common sense to advice her.

If I said no to the marriage I might be blocking what God has kept for her but if I accept and bad things happens I might hate my decision for her. .. She is currently working with my mum in her shop and is waiting for her admission, she said the man usually visits them and she is now gradually developing love for the guy... But I still find it difficult to accept the guy bcoz of her education and she is not well grounded in things like marriage. ...

having gone thru ur post and reasonable responses I will add few points
1. Marriage itself is an institution is she ready for the physical social emotional and sexual demands from an experienced man?

2. Note not all that glitter is gold oh as per" he is very successful and from a good home" as women successfully conceal there true self during courtship so also can a man.... be very sure ur sis is not going into slavery

3. I would suggest too that if d said guy has waited for two yrs make he wait small nah let her gain d admission start school maybe she will see for herself if she can combine both nd be happy....... bcs I too me she is still a child ( not experienced, not exposed to d world reality, very young and naive)

4. make una join hands pray for her sha to make d right decision.... bcsall dis pastors no go tell her d truth BTW dem no dey see d wife beater, d men dat turn to regular cheater, der motive of coming to pick a naive young child for marriage na so so he good una go der ear

5. everybdy gat to run his or her race wat works for me might ruin u each person nd situation is unique.......stay blessed

From 18, It's right. Since the Man has offered to be responsible for her education, she should get married.

y no

I don't need to write epistle on this matter as I don't have problem with the age.

- Is she mentally and physically mature?

- Is she ready for marriage? (She might be in state of confusion at that age)

- Is she happy about it? ( Loving him)

- Will it disturb her education?

- Is the guy capable of taking responsibilities?

All these above are important.

She is 20

The guy wants to marry her before the lady expose

He will marry her and send her to uni

The girl will open eyes in uni and start misbehaving

The guy will lost trust in her and starts suspecting every move and step the girl takes

The girl will realize later that they are guys more better out there.

She will Start fvcking another guy.

The guy won't be able to take those shyt especially if he sees pictures of her wife and male friends on her phone (even if they are just 'mere' friends)

The guy will start getting jealous and from there, the union will start fading till they finally say bye bye to each other

My own imagination!

our northern ladies are in the right position to answer you sir/madam

because many of them,their bride price was paid when they are still in their moms womb

Wetin concern you?

Why not,if she is mentally ok with marriage

VolT0xic:
My Mum married at the Age of 21-22. She was majoring in nursing at then. Well, 25 years later and counting, she is very, very happy and blessed in the union. And that's cos she loved my Dad. What I'm trying to say is maturity isn't the precursor to a happy marriage. Love is. So I ask is your sister in love with the man? Or is this just a case of arranged marriage? At that age 20, she's physically ready. But socially, mentally & emotionally, I don't know.

And every body's story didnt end this way. Some regretted settling down .

Age is just a number, maturity is what matters. In other words, her mental age determines if she is prepared for the rigours and demands of marriage.

If she, her family and the suitor deem she's fundamentally satisfactory to be a wife while they support her through the teething stage of maturity and marriage then it's very fine. Also, provided that she's not under duress or hypnosis.

This is irrespective of her status as undergraduate as she will further her education.

The time of life and marriage is unique for everyone. I know quite a number of ladies realky close who missed out on early marriage because of age and other reasons that could be managed, they are not married till today. Some women have just one or few chances in that area while some others are in the market for long.

Please, let her family apply wisdom.

g

I don't see anything wrong with that, so far they love each other and the guy has something doing.


but if na this kind love below, carry her go and bible deliverance church around you

If they both love each other let them go ahead. They might just be missing a life time opportunity of spending their lives with the right partner.

I know someone that felt she was too young to marry at 20 when the love of her life came proposing and she ended up marrying much later to the wrong person.

In my opinion, from 20 and above, a girl is good to go. If they like they can both agree not to have kids for one or two years till she is ready or advanced with her education.

Anything from 18 years is legal. It isn't about getting married, it is about staying married. Reference to some "man of God" who couldn't keep their marriage.

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me learning too