seizethaBae:
Thanks sis,but pls is dis my situation normal?

Look at it this way.

When you lie in your bed and you're not feeling sleepy and you wanna sleep, you'll agree with me that thinking about the situation or worrying about it or even trying to force yourself to sleep are counterproductive right?

Same thing applies to meeting your future spouse.

It has been said that love is what happens to you when you least expect it.

My advice?

Live your life normally and go about your daily duties and stop obsessing about this issue.

Don't go around living life on edge thinking you're going to bump into him any moment.

People get married in their 30s and 40s. And some don't ever get married.

It's not a curse. Getting married for the wrong reasons or to the wrong wrong person is a curse indeed.

seizethaBae:
Thanks sis,but pls is dis my situation normal?

My dear, it's very normal.. Don't worry your peace of mind unnecessarily.. It's better to be happily married than to be lost in marriage.
Relax. You will marry

sisisioge:
.but I want a man who would light me up like a bulb.

You and I know what it's like to be kicked down
Forced to fight
But tonight, we're alright
So hold up your lights
Let it shine
Cause, this one's for you and me, living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
With my arms out wide, I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters

Dyt:


You and I know what it's like to be kicked down
Forced to fight
But tonight, we're alright
So hold up your lights
Let it shine
Cause, this one's for you and me, living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
With my arms out wide, I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters

Wow babes...this is really cool. Wowzerful abi you copy am ? Thank you.

sisisioge:


Wow babes...this is really cool. Wowzerful abi you copy am ? Thank you.

Na song
That your line reminded me of the song

Dyt:


Na song
That your line reminded me of the song

what's the title? Jeez...I'm an oldies' girl though one song that two girls sang where one of them was rapping comes to mind Alicia Keys and L boogie or so.

sisisioge:


what's the title? Jeez...I'm an oldies' girl though one song that two girls sang where one of them was rapping comes to mind Alicia Keys and L boogie or so.

Bad meets evil(eminem and Royce do 5'9) ft Bruno mars
Lighters

Dyt:


Bad meets evil ft Bruno mars
Lighters

for where I wan know that one! Will find it though... Thanks

Give yourself a break OP... u are as normal as a daybreak... I do not even see anything to advise here...

But i will only suggest u give those one that love u dearly a chance, u might grow loving them in return... my grandma says things like that do happen....But i think she was referring to those days when they got marry based on black and white pic of the suitors..

sisisioge:


for where I wan know that one! Will find it though... Thanks

I think it's a 2011 song
I like the video sha
Rising sky lanterns

Dyt:




I think it's a 2011 song
I like the video sha
Rising sky lanterns

Cool...will search it out

sisisioge:


Cool...will search it out

You might actually only like the chorus which is Bruno Mars
Are you a rap person?

Dyt:


You might actually only like the chorus which is Bruno Mars
Are you a rap person?

No...though I don't mind a little of it.

seizethaBae:
Thanks all for your kind and wise advice.I really appreciate. @Chubhie;God bless you for putting up that piece together,indeed such a wise God we serve. But y wld i pray to God for 3solid years to have feelings for someone,did everytin possible for me not to lose this great guy,I TRIED I REALLY TRIED,yet nothing happen?. I really cant go deep discussing that relationship bcus he is a nairalander(he might put one or two tins togeda and figure out its me),but just picture NO SINGLE FEELINGS AT ALL,NONE THAT CAN EVEN MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK FOR 24HRS hence i treat him as i want,even tho im not a bad person dat treat people anyhow.

You seem like you have set your standards too high, which underlines why you find it difficult to develop feelings for a man. What is your love language? What about a man makes you tick? Which of these things are lacking in the men you find it difficult developing feelings for? You mentioned the fact that an ex was just perfect for you, yet you could not develop feelings for him. What else are you looking for? It appears you have no clue. If this ex was perfect, why did he become an ex initially? Examine it critically- if a guy, especially one that you had dated, was by your assessment, perfect, why could you still not develop feelings for him after you reconciled? At least, you were in a relationship before. Did you never love him the whole time? Do you even know what love is? Have you ever fallen in love? Do you know what love feels like? Do some soul searching. Your talk of how you could not develop feelings, especially for suitors you thought were okay, is the type a teenage girl who is just trying out dating would come up with. You stated that the ones whom you love don't love you and the ones who love you, you do not love. That is a natural phenomenon and it is not peculiar to just you. So, if this has happened to virtually everyone, dont you think that there is a possibility that a lot of thriving marriages started out with unmutual feelings that later blossomed into mutual feelings over time? You are praying for someone you will have feelings for before you get married. You think it is every prayer God will answer?? What if such a man never comes. You would rather watch the ones who truly love you slip away? Not wise, if you asked me. You are a 27-year-old lady! Think and act like one!

sisisioge:
Oh baby...I should buy you a drink! Whew! My story isn't far from yours o.

But relax...it will happen.

For someone not an eye sore, my case is freaking funny. The A loves B but B loves C story is just too real. And they say I'm doing shakara, some even say I'm an intentional bachelorette ( I no fit spell am jare) wetin we go do nau? Finding the One is an herculean task!

Here is my advice: try to live more and not think too hard about it. Treat yourself to some feel good therapy dear...expensive hair(no apologies, trust me it feels goooood to wear them) , nice perfumes (my sis just got the bottle of Marc Jacob that looks like a purse...been stealing it), lovely shoes and put on some lipstick! Ogbeni, live a little by enjoying your spinsterhood while it last. You will soon be responsible for plenty people

By the way, I no be your mate for age o...my mama dey presently confused about my status sef. My bestie is married to a guy she met within a year! They met here on NL o( they just saw each other and knew straight up) I never fail to point out their luck to them. No be say guys aren't coming, we just no dey jive ni. A particular Nairalander has turned it to fight for me after I told him straight up its a nono for me after an exchange of about three emails. Wetin person go do nau...we owe ourselves the responsible of finding the One lest we create dysfunctional homes. I miss the companionship, I miss the sense of being a team mate, I seriously can't wait to procreate, I envy my friends with those wonderful kids mehn...but I want a man who would light me up like a bulb.

You will find... Just relax.

sis no vex marry Jesus

haggai247:

sis no vex marry Jesus

Thank u sis.

seizethaBae:
if u guys no d level of my seriousness walah iu wont take it as a joke. shams040 im not here to look for patner/husband but to find experience pple to diagnose what could be wrong with me or if it happens to most ladies before they settle down. Experience pple pls respond plsssss

. M exactly in ur situation. Right now m with a man I don't HV feelings for n v tried to really get to like him but its not just working ,its been a year plus n nothing has changed.wat if ds feelings neva grow ,will i keep living a life of lies n deceit ,i alredy discussed with him n he feels it will eventually develop n i just want give it lil time,will it be wise to take ds risk considering he's a good man.I duno m really confused ,are dere folks out dere that married wtout love n r enjoying their marriages

Standard too high ke! you dont know me atall. I really wish i can explain every details of dat past r/ship with dis Mr Right,there is no spark atall frm myside and i cant marry him out of pity. It is not by standard,you love who you love. And do you tink anyone will be single if we decide to go for whoever comes our way;feelings or no feelings? and lastly let me get d bold part straight;are you saying its wrong to wish/pray for someone i will love and will love me back,or i shld enter a marriage without having feelings for d man?

lobito007:

You seem like you have set your standards too high, which underlines why you find it difficult to develop feelings for a man. What is your love language? What about a man makes you tick? Which of these things are lacking in the men you find it difficult developing feelings for? You mentioned the fact that an ex was just perfect for you, yet you could not develop feelings for him. What else are you looking for? It appears you have no clue. If this ex was perfect, why did he become an ex initially? Examine it critically- if a guy, especially one that you had dated, was by your assessment, perfect, why could you still not develop feelings for him after you reconciled? At least, you were in a relationship before. Did you never love him the whole time? Do you even know what love is? Have you ever fallen in love? Do you know what love feels like? Do some soul searching. Your talk of how you could not develop feelings, especially for suitors you thought were okay, is the type a teenage girl who is just trying out dating would come up with. You stated that the ones whom you love don't love you and the ones who love you, you do not love. That is a natural phenomenon and it is not peculiar to just you. So, if this has happened to virtually everyone, dont you think that there is a possibility that a lot of thriving marriages started out with unmutual feelings that later blossomed into mutual feelings over time? You are praying for someone you will have feelings for before you get married. You think it is every prayer God will answer?? What if such a man never comes. You would rather watch the ones who truly love you slip away? Not wise, if you asked me. You are a 27-year-old lady! Think and act like one!

Exactly what my ex said that kept me for 3years! i pray yours work out well,

tunde82seidat:
. M exactly in ur situation. Right now m with a man I don't HV feelings for n v tried to really get to like him but its not just working ,its been a year plus n nothing has changed.wat if ds feelings neva grow ,will i keep living a life of lies n deceit ,i alredy discussed with him n [b]he feels it will eventually develop [/b]n i just want give it lil time,will it be wise to take ds risk considering he's a good man.I duno m really confused ,are dere folks out dere that married wtout love n r enjoying their marriages

There's a difference between dating a guy you're not sure of and dating a guy you are wondering what you're doing there. I have been on dates where I wondered what made my legs come to this place and i have been on dates where I was hoping the guy would like me but inside me I was baffled why I was setting my standards so low.

See, if you think this longings you have and loneliness you feel are bad, try getting married to someone whom in a year's time you think to yourself "maybe I should have waited a bit longer". That is the truth of so many marriages, each spouse thinking "maybe, just maybe if I had stayed a bit longer, the next guy/girl was The One". So don't rush. The only people who can live a happy life in a loveless marriage are those whom are able to effectively distance themselves from any sort of emotion: happiness doesn't carry them away and neither does Sorrow. They are pragmatic to the core. That's less than 15% of the world's population. You're not one of them, because this is getting to you. You get?

If the pressure gets to you, get off social media. Why bombard yourself with a million pics of your classmates posting pictures of smiling babies and happy husbands and blissful peace? You're not jealous, just being sensible: no need to punish yourself looking at cake when you're dieting. You get?

What are your interests? Go find them. It is better to find someone who likes you the way he met you. So if you like going out, it's better to meet a guy in a club than meet him in church and pretend to be what he wants for a ring and dying inwardly. Go pursue your interests.

When you meet a guy, take a look at your list. Find the one thing that you really need, not what you desperately want. The first thing in my list was a Strong Sense of Humour and Wit. But every single witty guy i met didn't want me. Guys are weird, they want girls they can impress, not girls that can match up to their skills. That Intelligence factor you crave, well those guys will friendzone you so quickly for that chick who thinks a Sidney Sheldon novel is deep intellectual thinking and puts up motivational pictures which she barely understands. That's why every wise woman will tell you to "laugh at his jokes and don't crack yours ". You get?

Live and love your life. Don't wait around for Prince Charming, go out there, attend the ball like Cinderella did. He may be waiting there. Enjoy this minute because you are never getting it back. You get?

You're gonna be fine. Fist bump!

Please are there folks out there married without love and are enjoying their marriage even tho they dont have feelings for their spouse,or married without love initially and later fell in love with their patner some years into d marriage

tunde82seidat:
. M exactly in ur situation. Right now m with a man I don't HV feelings for n v tried to really get to like him but its not just working ,its been a year plus n nothing has changed.wat if ds feelings neva grow ,will i keep living a life of lies n deceit ,i alredy discussed with him n he feels it will eventually develop n i just want give it lil time,will it be wise to take ds risk considering he's a good man.I duno m really confused ,are dere folks out dere that married wtout love n r enjoying their marriages

THANK YOU.THANK YOU.THANK YOU SO MUCH

Onegai:
There's a difference between dating a guy you're not sure of and dating a guy you are wondering what you're doing there. I have been on dates where I wondered what made my legs come to this place and i have been on dates where I was hoping the guy would like me but inside me I was baffled why I was setting my standards so low.

See, if you think this longings you have and loneliness you feel are bad, try getting married to someone whom in a year's time you think to yourself "maybe I should have waited a bit longer". That is the truth of so many marriages, each spouse thinking "maybe, just maybe if I had stayed a bit longer, the next guy/girl was The One". So don't rush. The only people who can live a happy life in a loveless marriage are those whom are able to effectively distance themselves from any sort of emotion: happiness doesn't carry them away and neither does Sorrow. They are pragmatic to the core. That's less than 15% of the world's population. You're not one of them, because this is getting to you. You get?

If the pressure gets to you, get off social media. Why bombard yourself with a million pics of your classmates posting pictures of smiling babies and happy husbands and blissful peace? You're not jealous, just being sensible: no need to punish yourself looking at cake when you're dieting. You get?

What are your interests? Go find them. It is better to find someone who likes you the way he met you. So if you like going out, it's better to meet a guy in a club than meet him in church and pretend to be what he wants for a ring and dying inwardly. Go pursue your interests.

When you meet a guy, take a look at your list. Find the one thing that you really need, not what you desperately want. The first thing in my list was a Strong Sense of Humour and Wit. But every single witty guy i met didn't want me. Guys are weird, they want girls they can impress, not girls that can match up to their skills. That Intelligence factor you crave, well those guys will friendzone you so quickly for that chick who thinks a Sidney Sheldon novel is deep intellectual thinking and puts up motivational pictures which she barely understands. That's why every wise woman will tell you to "laugh at his jokes and don't crack yours ". You get?

Live and love your life. Don't wait around for Prince Charming, go out there, attend the ball like Cinderella did. He may be waiting there. Enjoy this minute because you are never getting it back. You get?

You're gonna be fine. Fist bump!

Don't worry.

God does not forget is own.

What type of dream do you have?

I must be honest with you,you are your own problem,you have built up your kind of man in your brain that any one who is not closer to it doesn't pick your interest,my blood sis is 33years old,she had some many suitors then,but the standard she as built was making her turn them down,and this where guys who loves her so much,guys that would do anything for her! But you know what most of them get married months after been frustrated due to her altitude and behavior,i am happy for her becos she got luck and will be getting married soon,she is the last and the oldest to get married from the extended family...she is just been lucky other ladies won't get lucky,my advice is you start getting to know people who show interest...at the long run you would get the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh good luck

Dear OP

Please I beg you, do not marry someone you feel absolutely nothing for. It rarely ends well.
I know what it is like to be married to someone you love and who adores you, it's AMAZING!.
Marriage is to be enjoyed, abeg dont get in to endure Biko.
There are a lot of miserable people out there married to the wrong person, please do not join that list.

Be patient, and have an open mind. Chances are it will happen when you least expect with someone you least expected as well.

In the meantime, abeg enjoy yourself and live your life...

Cheers

Dear op,please don't be discouraged because there is nothing abnormal about what you are passing through. It is a normal phase of life that you will overcome with time, talking from experience. All what you need is a little patient and prayer. Somehow and anyhow you and your right man will locate yourselves. Never you bothered yourself with what is happening in the life of your counterparts because we have different life to live. Please, marriage is not the ultimate and all in all achievement in life. Dedicate your time to God,yourself, help and impact others. Enjoy the freedom of singlehood because life won't be the same after marriage. And don't get married to someone you don't have feeling for and the one you cannot cope or bear with his weaknesses. There is a special man out there that is meant for you. Once again use prayer and patience to wait for him.

abimbawealth:

Kilode?

Your response to the guy that requested your contacts isn't OK. You can meet your husband anywhere. Even a Nairalander can be the man.

[quote author=seizet

I don't have any feelings for him because HE IS JUST TOO PERFECT..
When will we understand women?

where did you read that sir? please read to understand. thanks

poik:
[quote author=seizet

I don't have any feelings for him because HE IS JUST TOO PERFECT..
When will we understand women?

the guy was only teasing.

toni4691:
Your response to the guy that requested your contacts isn't OK. You can meet your husband anywhere. Even a Nairalander can be the man.