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Will I Ever Get Married? - Family (12) - Nairaland

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Is It Normal That I Don't Want To Get Married Or Have Kids? / He Was To Get Married On 2nd Of December But Now He Is Late / ''if You Used This Go And Get Married'' (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 9:52pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady (27-yr-old lady), finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can could be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like[b]d[/b] doesnt didn't like me and the ones i dont didn't have single feelings for will would do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want[b]ed[/b] to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have had no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can could at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes was just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

Dear, I could have suggested hooking you up with some of my friends but your written English needs adjustment. First try working on that since you also want intelligent guys!

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by nnamdiokafor: 9:52pm On Oct 03, 2016
gidjah:
You will some day get married bae,you just need to get a lil bit more less strict and reduce your yard lines drawn.i wanna believe fine men come close,but your feelings ain't there,would you want the kind of person you will have feelings for or vice versa?,
Iife is not most times how we want it to get played,love grows with time too, the person you tend not to have feelings for today,might b d one your feelings gets strongest for with time ,that's how love grows .if it grows with time, it will stay permanent,you will have to let your love grow with some nice guy out there,watch it ,tend it,water it and watch it grow to stay forever.you are pretty young,that's why you are still feeling this way,but mind you ,age is never on your side,you grow old daily,watch it,I pray it does get better with you.gat an older sis who was just
LIke you,she started like you,finished her school very young ,na so we talk to her,she go say,'this one ,I don't have feelings for,''that one he is not minding me'..bla bla bla..to make the short story long,my older sis works with the accountant general of the federation as the head,she is well over fourty today but guys have stopped coming!,she is still there with all the comforts she has,was with 'aunty'few days ago, age no be here o, she told me she gets depressed dail over how she has been,and how she has treated guys,..with all the cars and affluence,na only married guys dey show for her side!.her pastor even asked her to keep her cars at home and start trekking may be boys will show up,...for were !!??
correct answer,what if you finally find some one you love and the person doesn't loveyou.pls try to accept one of those men and move on jare

1 Like

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 9:52pm On Oct 03, 2016
I love your comment
missjo:

You have an ex who you say is PERFECT,still you could not love him.

My diagnosis is that you operate on a peculiar wavelength that isn't common, trust me I know what I'm saying. Every human has a wavelength they operate on. If you were to put on an eye apparatus that is capable of detecting frequencies and sending the visual to your eye,you will understand what I'm saying.

A lot of people operate on similar wavelengths that may have different frequencies,but the catch is that these frequencies can superimpose on each other and blend. Your case is that you have a totally different frequency as well as wavelength from most normal people. Yes you are not normal!

Don't get mad yet,that you're not normal is not bad,it just means you're part of the less than 5% of people in the entire planet who fall under this category. I've met one other guy like that on this forum,cant mention his moniker so he doesn't bite my head off but I follow him. These group of people actually find it hard picking someone to get married to because there is always a fault to be noticed no matter how PERFECT the person is.

I'm going to guess that you're an ambivert,i.e a combination of introvert and extrovert. Another guess is that u like to read anything and everything, and you find that most people do not really understand you even part of your own family. Another guess is that your close friends are very few,as in VERY few and you haven't made new friends in a while. Most of your friends are old friends.
I also guess that you're someone who can have sex with someone and not add emotions to it,i mean just for the fun of it.

All guesses sha,so correct me on the wrong ones.

The solution is this,you should understand that for people like you, love is not what you need to marry. You only need to marry someone whom you would like enough not to see their faults or someone who is on the exact same frequency and wavelength as you,the latter is harder.

Are you into the science field,or do you just see yourself liking anything that has to do with figuring out how things work? smiley
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by joinnow: 9:54pm On Oct 03, 2016
Op visit www amaraofficial.com
You can call her.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 9:54pm On Oct 03, 2016
Chubhie:
You place premium on intelligence.Has it occurred to you that your ideal husband could be too busy locked away with passion in putting his intelligence to work?

Paths MUST be crossed either through angelic orchestration or self-help.

Dont appear desperate cos an intelligent dude can spot such from one mile radius.

Look for locations or places you feel your ideal intelligent dudes congregate and adapt to such environments.

Iron sharpens iron.you MUST first become that which you desperately seek.

It must be a give and take situation with that which you seek or you end up bored and miserable with them.

Can you be comfortable with a Seun sitting in front of his computer all day and coding in alien languages without having his bath?

You talk of an ex being all perfect yet you can't love him? You must understand that love is a fleeting sensation and barely enough to see you through marriage.

If that your ex ticks all the other boxes why not work on yourself and reconsider him?

You can not have everything on a plater of gold else that's rigging from your maker.

Perhaps,your maker is looking up to you to make this one decision.Such a wise God!

Who is this craftsman? I believe your ilk come out of their shells once in a lifetime.

To seizethaBae, to meet your man, you must device unconventional means that can lead you to his hood, because there will always be a path which the sparrows' eyes have not seen.

Intelligent and cultured men are rare to come by. And when you see one, he is either married or unavailable. This is because their women have played one role or the other in the men's growth over time. I'm not saying you must be a part of grooming your man, but this is a factor that tends to lower the number of eyes from that breed of humans that ogle hungrily when gems like your self strut through the streets.

In my case, I have fallen in love with at least 3 girls in the past who could not write correct sentences. The feelings were genuine, but at a time, when I read a comment from one intelligent damsel, I said "To hell with the misplaced feelings". I used tactics to unravel the woman in that faceless forum. We started exchanging correspondences, and she became elated about my being. We were so busy at work that we could not meet until after about two months. When we finally met, and she assessed me, only our difference in a certain ideology turned her off completely. While she focussed on ideology, I focused on her physique -- her body build is a big NO for me.

I returned home and proclaimed that I'm not destined to marry an intelligent woman. I quickly worked toward reconciliation with my estranged girl. It's not the best of a relationship, but I'm happy. Progress stems from the clashing merger of antagonistic extremes, and also from a union of pinnacle freaks...

4 Likes

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by chronique(m): 9:58pm On Oct 03, 2016
Thanks man
Cutehector:
bro tuale. U are wise. cool
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by AlPeter: 9:58pm On Oct 03, 2016
missjo:

It isn't just one source,i mean reading about it. I actually typed that out from a combined residual memory involving many different books I have read over the years and scholarly write-ups I have come across randomly on the internet.

But I'd love to share with you some books that talk on the subject in parts:
Amazing laws of cosmic mind power
Psychic perception - the magic of extrasensory power
The cosmic power within you
Secrets of the I Ching

All of those are authored by Joseph Murphy.

Robert Greene also gives a little insight on human interactions in:
The 48 Laws of Power
The Art of Seduction

The Art of War by Sun Tzu may have added to my memory too I guess,lol. Though it is purely a political book, it sublimely articulates human interactions.
Same with the works of Niccolo Machiavelli.

For specific books on understanding humans based on the frequency they emit and wavelengths, I can't name specific books off the top of my head. I came across the topic by chance on scholarly articles by biological scientists mostly on the internet and on very educative programs on TV.
But reading a combination of those books up there and many more all point to the same fact.

Lahaye's books on temperaments also might be enlightening.
I have known about the frequency/wavelength stuff since I was about 8 and have always referred to it has part of the personalty vibrations or the persons air. I have always enjoy studying peoples air and have found must to be simply put annoying or irritating. Though there is a recent cause that has been bordering me since 2 days ago. There's this lady in my area that I just couldn't place her vibrations so have hardly have a conversation with her, don't even greet her. 2 days ago I saw someone walking towards me and the person was BLANK. No vibrations, no personalty, no air, nothing! She got close and I realised it was this Lady and that was the reason I have not been able to place her frequency. She had zero, sorry but this has been disturbing me and its kinda scary. Have aany Idea what it means.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by urchmanx(m): 9:58pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
Thanks all for your kind and wise advice.I really appreciate. @Chubhie;God bless you for putting up that piece together,indeed such a wise God we serve. But y wld i pray to God for 3solid years to have feelings for someone,did everytin possible for me not to lose this great guy,I TRIED I REALLY TRIED,yet nothing happen?. I really cant go deep discussing that relationship bcus he is a nairalander(he might put one or two tins togeda and figure out its me),but just picture NO SINGLE FEELINGS AT ALL,NONE THAT CAN EVEN MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK FOR 24HRS hence i treat him as i want,even tho im not a bad person dat treat people anyhow.
My 2 cents. You get married when you want to get married. Until you stop seeing men and relationship as a balance book this topic will continue to grow. Love is an abstract. Start looking more at the positive activities of your relationship and you will see love driving in full force that you wouldn't have space for it again. You choose to love and not to love. I see some factors that are holding you back.
1. You are judging and comparing your men too much you overlook their best qualities.
2. You have fear factor. This came from your reaponse on WHAT IF.
3. You are putting premium on academic intelligence. Not bad but I have seen people that never went to school but are highly intelligent.
I can go on but my advice is stop looking at negativity and focus more on positive and open mind and thank me later.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by AreTheyBitches(m): 9:59pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
if u guys no d level of my seriousness walah iu wont take it as a joke. shams040 im not here to look for patner/husband but to find experience pple to diagnose what could be wrong with me or if it happens to most ladies before they settle down. Experience pple pls respond plsssss

The first solution u've got, you turned it down. And you are asking why this is an issue?

1 Like

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by dnawah(m): 10:00pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired
no worry very soon,u will get him.but stop anything that will intimidate and scare him.ur dressing and expensive things.just bring urself down 4 him to tap ur back,enjoy.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by gidjah(m): 10:02pm On Oct 03, 2016
won't give any one counsel outside Gods will, with the experience I have gathered ,you ladies need straight talk, pretence and garnished advice won't do you all any help, na so e dey take start,...a little stuborness here ,a little ego there, ladies must stop been fake ,learn to always demand the truth from guys always, once a guy knows a lady will always demand for the truth, he will adjust and get more responsible, ladies are the major reasons for this mess in ,most case,you(abike)can't speak for the op,abi na your sister she be?,you sure don't know her ,do you?she is still young and should understand how actions can count in the nearest future,every lady should, Self defense won't help any Lady, no lady should be adviced to hurry in to marriage, that's pretty horrible .I drop my pen over this matter.
abike12:


Please watch the counsel you are giving people. A lot of people have rushed into marriage because they don't want to become Aunty and now they are living in bitterness. Marriage can be very sweet, even with its ups and downs. Leave people for their God appointed time. It's not like the OP is picky or proud, is it until she marries a mad man from the street? I don't find that joke funny. Nobody jokes with you men to marry just anybody.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by chronique(m): 10:05pm On Oct 03, 2016
Witch!!! You almost perfectly described me. Only thing wrong is that,I find it hard to have sex with people I'm not emotionally attached to.
missjo:

You have an ex who you say is PERFECT,still you could not love him.

My diagnosis is that you operate on a peculiar wavelength that isn't common, trust me I know what I'm saying. Every human has a wavelength they operate on. If you were to put on an eye apparatus that is capable of detecting frequencies and sending the visual to your eye,you will understand what I'm saying.

A lot of people operate on similar wavelengths that may have different frequencies,but the catch is that these frequencies can superimpose on each other and blend. Your case is that you have a totally different frequency as well as wavelength from most normal people. Yes you are not normal!

Don't get mad yet,that you're not normal is not bad,it just means you're part of the less than 5% of people in the entire planet who fall under this category. I've met one other guy like that on this forum,cant mention his moniker so he doesn't bite my head off but I follow him. These group of people actually find it hard picking someone to get married to because there is always a fault to be noticed no matter how PERFECT the person is.

I'm going to guess that you're an ambivert,i.e a combination of introvert and extrovert. Another guess is that u like to read anything and everything, and you find that most people do not really understand you even part of your own family. Another guess is that your close friends are very few,as in VERY few and you haven't made new friends in a while. Most of your friends are old friends.
I also guess that you're someone who can have sex with someone and not add emotions to it,i mean just for the fun of it.

All guesses sha,so correct me on the wrong ones.

The solution is this,you should understand that for people like you, love is not what you need to marry. You only need to marry someone whom you would like enough not to see their faults or someone who is on the exact same frequency and wavelength as you,the latter is harder.

Are you into the science field,or do you just see yourself liking anything that has to do with figuring out how things work? smiley
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 10:06pm On Oct 03, 2016
My dear, you are perfectly OK. You see every woman has a husband so when the time comes for you to settle, and it will just happen like a magic. So just relax and wait for him.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 10:06pm On Oct 03, 2016
Nancy2016:


I agree with most of what you said except the part where you say "love is a fleeting sensation". That's not true. True love never dies. Why do you think more and more women are cheating? This is because a lot of them for whatever reasons got married to men they didn't love. Women are emotional beings and are always in search of love. If a woman has no love for her husband she is prone to temptation. A lot of times you hear women cheated with their exes. This is because they still are in love with these men. I will always advise women that if you have no feelings for a man, please do both of you a favour, end the relationship and let that man find his rightful partner.

The earlier you come to accept that there is no such thing as true love -- what we like to think is love is actually a game of making concessions -- the better for you my dear.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by phlemzy: 10:09pm On Oct 03, 2016
I really hope the OP won't be left more troubled than she came with the number of suggestions given her..

1 Like

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by spenca: 10:10pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

PM me girl !
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by prettycat: 10:10pm On Oct 03, 2016
@ age 27,u'r already carrying d whole world on your Shoulders.b4 u knw it,u'l start looking older than your age.relax babe,life is fun if u don't carry too much worries around.moreover,it's almost impossible2get ur parfect kind of man,it's like living in a dream land.dat guy might just be right next to u,but we're most time blinded by our Desire which only exist in a movies..

1 Like

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by olureignforever: 10:11pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
Thanks sis,but pls is dis my situation normal?


Dear sis, I understand you so well, I experienced such, though not easy. You ask if it's normal, my dear everyone with their cross, some people still pray for ur kind of grace, they never had anything going straight for them. I will advice you to give thanks to God got the one you had and praise him for the one you are yet to have. Don't allow desperation to set in, it might be what Satan want to use to spoil the testimony's you have. Hold on, I tell you, you"ll have the best hubby. Wish you best sis.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by gidjah(m): 10:11pm On Oct 03, 2016
this people get too many trouble o, ego,swagg, anger, ITK, they wanna always be in charge !haba, na only dem waka come??
nnamdiokafor:
correct answer,what if you finally find some one you love and the person doesn't loveyou.pls try to accept one of those men and move on jare
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by toby2(m): 10:13pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired
hmmm, life with its twists and turns. All in all, we must all wait at one point or the other. Ur life may be too fast and God needs u to slow down a bit. I am almost ur age and almost all my friends have gotten to them destinations, I am not lazy but my time might not be set yet. So just set ur mind to rest, sit back and enjoy the wait, it will soon be ur turn. Remember "HE makes all things beautIful in ITS OWN season/time" so just chill aiit.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by afroluxpaint: 10:13pm On Oct 03, 2016
missjo:

Oh wow,and you previously called this guy perfect? tongue

Now I understand why my guess about the sex part was completely wrong, YOU'RE A FEELER. Feelers won't know how to have casual sex without emotions,or know how to tell their ex that he is just downright disgusting cheesy

when i was quite younger i felt same way, there were many girls i decline their sex overtures then . but as igrow older i feels indifferent about this sex aspect. i believe if she were a male shes would act same way
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Niyeal(m): 10:15pm On Oct 03, 2016
Another ADAAKU from JENNIFER DIARY SIGHTED HERE, YOU WILL DEFINITALY MEET YOUR JOHN THE GENIUS. JUST WATCH AND PRAY, OPEN YOUR EYES AND CLOSE YOUR LEGS, UNTIL HE PROOF TO BE MR RITE.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by odeebee: 10:15pm On Oct 03, 2016
dytbabe:
Wow
Straight up you got a hook up
Congrats in advance
Long time Dyt. Missed you@Dyt
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by phlemzy: 10:16pm On Oct 03, 2016
Tytyluv:
You see every woman has a husband.
Does it equally mean that all women will get married in life?
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 10:17pm On Oct 03, 2016
1. Many Christian ladies want a man that “knows where he is going”… but God’s men usually don’t have a clue: Think about that for a moment. Think through the Bible…all the great men that had relationships with God and who he used and blessed….they usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and (here is the even crazier part) even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said he was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham …going to a land he did not know; Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish. These men would have had a rough time finding a wife today. Could you imagine? Abraham calling sister Sarah aside after church and saying “Errrmmm Sarah you know I love you right? Soooo God wants to take us somewhere …but I have no idea where. Wanna marry me and come?” David too. “Look baby…I really care about you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you… In fact, I’ve just been anointed King…buuutttt I’m kinda living in the bushes right now and on the run from the King I’m supposed to replace.” Or Joseph. “Look Jill, God has shown me many dreams that people will bow down to me and I’ll be a great leader. But right now I wash dishes in Potiphar’s house and I’m a slave boy there” God’s men don’t “always” have a direction or know the details. So stop looking for men who have it all figured out! Here is the solution though…..here is the good news. Here is what you SHOULD be looking for: Men who can be LED by God. (Rom 8:14) Don’t look for a man who already has the best laid plans. Look for one who knows how to follow directions from the best planner. The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man may not know exactly where he is going but he knows how to follow God. 2. Many ladies approach relationships from the perspective of “Low Risk, High Reward”: Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here)They don’t want to put themselves out there at all. They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. He doesn’t know anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be but you want a demon chasing, tongue speaking, Bible spitting warrior of a husband…because “he is the leader of the home”. You’ve dated a bunch of losers that didn’t work out but he is no good because he has had several failed relationships too? You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, push up bras, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut? In essence, many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God’s will for their future but they are lying. They don’t. They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get. How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life utterly figured out… But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed. I have met some who had it all but God insisted they give it up to go and further the gospel. If you want a Boaz, David or Joseph, you’re going to have to be ok not having everything perfectly figured out 3. Many ladies forget that good Christian men look for women who share similar non- romantic, non-spiritual values: Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm ladies…these Christian brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the OPERATION of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on. One of the first things we learn about Ruth for example, was her work ethic. ( Ruth chapter 2). She knew how to pull her hair back, forget about her nails, roll up her sleeves and get on the grind. She worked really hard and even when she got the attention of the “well established guy with the sensitive heart” she didn’t stop working. She took the break that he offered her and went back to work. That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are. Here is the icing on that cake. Just because Ruth could get down and work, didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty and tidy up (Ruth 3:3) The Boaz, David or Joseph kind of man knows it takes a lot more than butterflies and date nights to fulfill God’s mandate for his family. 4. Many ladies pre-qualify their leads: This is one of the most CRITICAL reasons. In fact, there is a powerful 2 part series on just that

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Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 10:17pm On Oct 03, 2016
Where is ur pinsure? grin grin grin grin grin

Everything is predestined.

if na us go end up, you will ask for my contact
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Esetim(f): 10:18pm On Oct 03, 2016
Hmm
This was an interesting read. So many different views and opinions.
@Op, since God answers your prayers, don't you think there's a reason for his being silent now?
Be very careful and prayerful.

I am someone that prays and God answers but when he becomes silent about any matter, i know it's because he has a reason and when he eventually does, i am always in awe!
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by endove(f): 10:19pm On Oct 03, 2016
Marry a guy whom will love you more than the way you love him to avoid had I know... Maybe u ll say but I did not love him",don't worry d luv ll come
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by ChikaSunday(m): 10:20pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired

If you really need help and you are a sincere person I will ask you 5 questions. If you ar ready for the questions check my profile and call me(pls dnt flash) before 9:45am tomorrow Tuesday morning. Cheers
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by Nobody: 10:24pm On Oct 03, 2016
Nigayoyo:


Dear, I could have suggested hooking you up with some of my friends[b]coma[/b] but your written English needs adjustment. First[b]coma[/b] try working on that since you also want intelligent guys!
Ghen Ghen!
What do you know!
Don't be sacarstic with her. We know what she meant when she said that she wants intelligient guys.
Some guys are just very bad. I am sure she meant 'average guys'
I can relate with that. grin grin grin grin grin grin


Modified
@ OP
You sound lilke a perfectionist. YOu want all these, but you gotta be patient with a guy. You sound impatient! Especially, when you are not 'perfect' yourself

1 Like

Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by abike12(f): 10:25pm On Oct 03, 2016
gidjah:
won't give any one counsel outside Gods will, with the experience I have gathered ,you ladies need straight talk, pretence and garnished advice won't do you all any help, na so e dey take start,...a little stuborness here ,a little ego there, ladies must stop been fake ,learn to always demand the truth from guys always, once a guy knows a lady will always demand for the truth, he will adjust and get more responsible , ladies are the major reasons for this mess in ,most case,you(abike)can't speak for the op,abi na your sister she be?,you sure don't know her ,do you?she is still young and should understand how actions can count in the nearest future,every lady should, Self defense won't help any Lady, no lady should be adviced to hurry in to marriage, that's pretty horrible .I drop my pen over this matter.

So it is a woman's job to make a man responsible by demanding for the truth? An adult man cannot have sense without a woman demanding it? I rest my case on your Counselling career. Best of luck.
Re: Will I Ever Get Married? by ADBOK: 10:26pm On Oct 03, 2016
seizethaBae:
I don't even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is, hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. I'm a 27yrs old lady, finished university very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life, but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying I'm too choosy or not serious.

Honestly, I AM NOT choosy. When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon, I even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner (i know you can meet ur patner anywhere, but na just to shut up people wey don tink say i no dey serious), a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business', look for job so i can be leaving the house, and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection (honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it, the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. I'm not desperate or something, i just want to reach out if I'm the only one having this problem.

There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him, i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can at least like him (even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT, but it didn't just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich, tall, handsome like most ladies dream man. He should just be neat, God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys). Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there, has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their partners and they are loved back equally. Married women, please, I'm waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think I'm looking for a rich guy, believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs, but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head. So my problem is not even money. I'm so sick and tired
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A WELL TOLD REAL LIFE STORY, YOUR STORY. THE THING IS YOU ARE HEADED EXACTLY FOR THAT DESTINATION YOU NOW MORBIDLY DREAD - FORTY AND STILL FLIPPANT! YOU SEE GOD IS NOT WICKED. NATURALLY WHEN A LADY CLOCKS 21 YEARS OF AGE, THE TENDENCY IS FOR HER TO SEEK SOME FORM OF COMPANIONSHIP THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HAD 6 GOOD YEARS TO PICK AND CHOOSE AND YET HERE YOU ARE. MY INFERENCE IS YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED, YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE YOU CAN HAVE A BIT OF A STRUGGLE WITH TO BRING ABOUT LASTING ENDURING BOND. YOU WANT THE PERFECT MAN EVEN THOUGH YOU WRITE OTHERWISE! THINK ABOUT THIS, WHAT IF THAT STRUGGLING NOT TOO 'NEAT' FELLOW JUST AROUND IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD IS THE DESIRE OF GOD FOR YOU, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO SETTLE WHOLEHEARTEDLY WITH THAT CHOICE? STOP LETTING PEOPLE HERE DECEIVE YOU, GOD IS NOT BRINGING ANYMAN FOR YOU DEAR, HE'S PROBABLY BROUGHT HIM AND YOU REJECTED HIM BECAUSE "YOU COULDN'T LOVE HIM". SAD...

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