raumdeuter:
5minsmadness

What you call love itself is predicated on some factors, If you find those factors gone, then the love is probably gone too. E.g the person you love currently if you found out she used to be a man or is platting to kill you

Also love isn't enough, there are many things like common goals, common background, similar ambition, mutual-respect etc

Ishilove:
Many times I refrain from dishing out marital advice because hey, I'm not qualified, but it just makes me mad when I see some youngsters commenting on marital issues.

There's one particular poster here who goes from thread to thread in this section dishing out bullshit. Initially I thought she was married, only to find out she wasn't and not only that, was lying about her age and maternal status (she lied she has a child). She's one of those who scream 'divorce' at every given opportunity.

There's another kid, about 23/24 from romance section who doesn't even have a girlfriend, yet I see him telling married folks how to solve their marital challenges.

Some years back I was gisted about one poster here, a married man who comes to this section, all sanctimonious and _shit, preaches, gives sound counsel on marital issues, meanwhile at home he's all shades of Tyson on his hapless wife. I was flabbergasted.

Do we talk about the married users who fell into coogar's trap?

Or the user here, married to another user (they're separated now) who claims to be a bible thumper, spirit filled and born again, who gives 'sound counsel', is a feminist and all that tosh. She's spirit filled alright, just not the Holy Spirit. Lives on government benefits but comes online to present the perfect life.

My point is this: people marry for the wrong reasons and in this age of social media, they seek counsel from individuals who don't even know what marriage is all about or people who also married for wrong reasons, so how can contemporary marriages last?

Ishilove:
Many times I refrain from dishing out marital advice because hey, I'm not qualified, but it just makes me mad when I see some youngsters commenting on marital issues.

There's one particular poster here who goes from thread to thread in this section dishing out bullshit. Initially I thought she was married, only to find out she wasn't and not only that, was lying about her age and maternal status (she lied she has a child). She's one of those who scream 'divorce' at every given opportunity.

There's another kid, about 23/24 from romance section who doesn't even have a girlfriend, yet I see him telling married folks how to solve their marital challenges.

Some years back I was gisted about one poster here, a married man who comes to this section, all sanctimonious and _shit, preaches, gives sound counsel on marital issues, meanwhile at home he's all shades of Tyson on his hapless wife. I was flabbergasted.

Do we talk about the married users who fell into coogar's trap?

Or the user here, married to another user (they're separated now) who claims to be a bible thumper, spirit filled and born again, who gives 'sound counsel', is a feminist and all that tosh. She's spirit filled alright, just not the Holy Spirit. Lives on government benefits but comes online to present the perfect life.

My point is this: people marry for the wrong reasons and in this age of social media, they seek counsel from individuals who don't even know what marriage is all about or people who also married for wrong reasons, so how can contemporary marriages last?

5minsmadness:
Sometimes i see all the break up news about marriages and i wonder, why did you get married in the first place? Is your love for your spouse so fragile that you would break up at the slightest opportunity? You found out she is three years older than you and you want to divorce, you found out he is cheating on you and you want to divorce, he slapped you for the first time during an argument, u threathen divorce, what kind of marriages do we have these days? You marry someone and declare you will stay with him for the rest of your life, how do you intend to do that if you buckle and give up at the first sign of hardship? What inspiring story of travails and overcoming obstacles will you tell your kids or the future generations if you want to run at the drop of a hat? Do you think living with an individual FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES, that you will not find something horribly ugly? You honestly think you wont find flaws? What do you call your Love, if you cannot help your partner to become a better person, if you cannot suffer for him or her, if you cannot sacrifice anything for the one you love, if you cannot put your life on the line... What kind of fake love is that?

And for those who take advice to divorce him or her here, havent you noticed that the people advising you are either singles or have seemingly perfect partners? Partners with no flaws? And you believe them and get emotionally upset with thier vicious remarks and then go on to fight your spouses at home? Fighting your real life partner because of something an unknown person, probably a 15yr old said on the internet?

You are not wise. You are not wise at all.

If you truly love your partner then you should be quick to forgive. If you truly love your partner u wont wait for him or her to show you love first. If you truly married for love and not for material gains then your marriage will not be easily broken no matter the kind of rocks and daggers thrown at it. You should even be ashamed, bringing your intimate marital issues before unknown teenages and people with bitter spirits instead of meeting familiar and wise and elderly friends in real life, people whose marriages you have seen have stood the test of time in real life, not these mushroom advices you recieve here.


I have seen husbands in real life forgive thier wives for cheating, i have seen wives being celebrated by thier husbands for sticking to them during thier years of irresponsibility and drunkenness. Dont let those who couldn't do it trick or judge you into joining thier bandwagon. The ultimate wish for every person getting married is to live happily ever after, but that must come with hard work and perseverance. Nothing good comes easy! If it looks too good to be true then it usually is!

I have said my piece. I am out.

Ishilove:
Many times I refrain from dishing out marital advice because hey, I'm not qualified, but it just makes me mad when I see some youngsters commenting on marital issues.

[b]There's one particular poster here who goes from thread to thread in this section dishing out bullshit. Initially I thought she was married, only to find out she wasn't and not only that, was lying about her age and maternal status (she lied she has a child). She's one of those who scream 'divorce' at every given opportunity.

There's another kid, about 23/24 from romance section who doesn't even have a girlfriend, yet I see him telling married folks how to solve their marital challenges.

Some years back I was gisted about one poster here, a married man who comes to this section, all sanctimonious and _shit, preaches, gives sound counsel on marital issues, meanwhile at home he's all shades of Tyson on his hapless wife. I was flabbergasted.

Do we talk about the married users who fell into coogar's trap?

Or the user here, married to another user (they're separated now) who claims to be a bible thumper, spirit filled and born again, who gives 'sound counsel', is a feminist and all that tosh. She's spirit filled alright, just not the Holy Spirit. Lives on government benefits but comes online to present the perfect life.
[/b]
My point is this: people marry for the wrong reasons and in this age of social media, they seek counsel from individuals who don't even know what marriage is all about or people who also married for wrong reasons, so how can contemporary marriages last?

Ishilove:
Many times I refrain from dishing out marital advice because hey, I'm not qualified, but it just makes me mad when I see some youngsters commenting on marital issues.

TV01:

I am also bug-eyed at this . It must be disheartening, especially for one yet married. But don't despair, instead, let it motivate you. You can make your marriage exactly what you choose. The key is preparing yourself and knowing exactly what the kind of husband you desire looks like - when you meet him .

I've been on NL over 10 yers, I refrained from posting in this section until I had my own family and kids, even though I had my opinion on most things. And with hindsight, I'd have given answers before that I would have given after. Being yet to marry or have children, does not mean you lack nous and insight.

As for the revelations. Ah! I try take every persons presentation of themselves and their lives at face value. I'd actually find knowing such things about others burdensome. Although I do wonder about how what some present jars with what they preach?

I aim to let it be more about positions and policy than people. I know that can be hard, especially if you know certain things. but let that engender a degree of wariness, not cynicism.

It is very well.


TV

^{...5minsmadness, spot on!}

Nightie:
Some gals will be lyk "Awwn! hez tall, cute, rich, generous, hez loving. I think we're compatible ".

She gets married to him nd boom she realizes dey're nt even close to 'compact disc'. lolzz

Uhmmm.... watz ur question again?

truthsayer007:


What other reason to marry a guy except for "tall, cute, rich, generous, hez loving" ? When there is money everything will fall in place na.

iwatch:
lol.... not much response to this thread. It goes to show the kind of marriages people have these days. One would expect, with amount of wedding pictures abound, you would expect to see at least 50% comment saying they do love their partner, going by the number of views this thread has garnered. Alas that is not the case now. It therefore means that love does not really exist in the actual sense; it is mirage.

Ishilove:
Many times I refrain from dishing out marital advice because hey, I'm not qualified, but it just makes me mad when I see some youngsters commenting on marital issues.

There's one particular poster here who goes from thread to thread in this section dishing out bullshit. Initially I thought she was married, only to find out she wasn't and not only that, was lying about her age and maternal status (she lied she has a child). She's one of those who scream 'divorce' at every given opportunity.

There's another kid, about 23/24 from romance section who doesn't even have a girlfriend, yet I see him telling married folks how to solve their marital challenges.

Some years back I was gisted about one poster here, a married man who comes to this section, all sanctimonious and _shit, preaches, gives sound counsel on marital issues, meanwhile at home he's all shades of Tyson on his hapless wife. I was flabbergasted.

Do we talk about the married users who fell into coogar's sexual trap?

Or the user here, married to another user (they're separated now) who claims to be a bible thumper, spirit filled and born again, who gives 'sound counsel', is a feminist and all that tosh. She's spirit filled alright, just not the Holy Spirit. Lives on government benefits but comes online to present the perfect life.

My point is this: people marry for the wrong reasons and in this age of social media, they come online to seek counsel from individuals who don't even know what marriage is all about, or people who also married for wrong reasons, so how can contemporary marriages last?

bukatyne:


You believe love should be able to endure all (or almost all);

On the flip side, love should be able NOT to dish out major bullshit in the first place.

And genuine love (from both parties) is all that is needed to sustain a marriage

An0nimus:

5minsmadness:


Close your mouth my friend. Abi u no know them?

truthsayer007:


What other reason to marry a guy except for "tall, cute, rich, generous, hez loving" ? When there is money everything will fall in place na.

Nightie:


bad character cnt fall in place.

Ishilove:
Many times I refrain from dishing out marital advice because hey, I'm not qualified, but it just makes me mad when I see some youngsters commenting on marital issues.

There's one particular poster here who goes from thread to thread in this section dishing out bullshit. Initially I thought she was married, only to find out she wasn't and not only that, was lying about her age and maternal status (she lied she has a child). She's one of those who scream 'divorce' at every given opportunity.

There's another kid, about 23/24 from romance section who doesn't even have a girlfriend, yet I see him telling married folks how to solve their marital challenges.

Some years back I was gisted about one poster here, a married man who comes to this section, all sanctimonious and _shit, preaches, gives sound counsel on marital issues, meanwhile at home he's all shades of Tyson on his hapless wife. I was flabbergasted.

Do we talk about the married users who fell into coogar's sexual trap?

Or the user here, married to another user (they're separated now) who claims to be a bible thumper, spirit filled and born again, who gives 'sound counsel', is a feminist and all that tosh. She's spirit filled alright, just not the Holy Spirit. Lives on government benefits but comes online to present the perfect life.

My point is this: people marry for the wrong reasons and in this age of social media, they come online to seek counsel from individuals who don't even know what marriage is all about, or people who also married for wrong reasons, so how can contemporary marriages last?

Amelian:




Lol... I wonder too..
I can't marry an ugly guy because he has a heart of gold.. Who says good-looking people dont have heart of gold or good-looking people cannot make a wonderful companion?
Love and patience is important points coupled with other ingredients..

truthsayer007:


Well, thats right..but don't forget, Most women show their displeasure ONLY when frustrated financially or not shown attention, then all the bad character comes out.

A man that provides adequately for his family will hardly have issues except issues of infidelity or child birth. Women don't easily cheat in marriage sef except the sex is totally bad.

Even your wicked inlaws will love you when you are rich.

JackBizzle:




You, madam are the biggest hypocrite that I have ever met.


Can you honestly maintain that you do not give relationship advice on nairaland frequently?

Jesus Christ! This woman!!

Ishilove:

Your stupidity is spine chilling. Must you stalk me?

If you must troll, troll with sense and reason.

JackBizzle:


No one is stalking you, madam. I just happened to see this thread.

But seriously, did I lie? Have you not given different pieces of advice right here on nairaland, concerning marriage even when you're single?

Ishilove:

In your rush to troll, you failed to read and comprehend my post.

Go back and reread the first line, this time S-L-O-W-L-Y...

JackBizzle:



Sharap.


You only refrained because I have actually commented on this issue about you before. You only stopped your sanctimonious/hypocritical attitude after complaints.


I always marvel at how you get away with things.

Ishilove:

Your stupidity is spine chilling and your obsession with me is becoming frightening.
If you must troll, troll within the ambit of sense and reason.

Ishilove:




Now make like a rat and scram. You've exhausted your monthly ration of attention

JackBizzle:





I should scram?
You must think that nairaland is your father's house. Better go and get married, old cargo

zeb04:
Why do people care so much about others on this forum ,that is so insane

This is just crazy,i mean you have the whole profile of everyone here. What the hell is that,who is cougs,who is who !bullshit that's why people keep leaving ,market square

By the way every marriage is different, do what works for you.

So shocked.

JackBizzle:





I should scram?
You must think that nairaland is your father's house. Better go and get married, old cargo