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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Sex And Consent In Marriage (3985 Views)
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Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 9:41pm On Mar 13, 2017 |
PaperLace: I very much agree with you. If after seduction, either spouse doesn't bulge most of the time, there are issues. We really need to work towards being sexually attracted/attractive to our spouses. Forever is a long time to have a boring se.X life. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by tosyne2much(m): 9:46pm On Mar 13, 2017 |
SirWere:So you no go believe me baba? |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Nobody: 10:20pm On Mar 13, 2017 |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by tosyne2much(m): 10:43pm On Mar 13, 2017 |
SirWere:So you feel say I dey pound woman every now and then abi? |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by athaliya(f): 12:37am On Mar 14, 2017 |
tosyne2much: I beg to disagree sir I can't be comfortable screwing a guy that hasn't put a ring on my finger no matter how the love hold me reach. Meanwhile I have a high drive. Guilty koko is another factor. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Tenkobos(m): 6:50am On Mar 14, 2017 |
tosyne2much:Lie responsibly bro. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Tenkobos(m): 6:53am On Mar 14, 2017 |
tosyne2much:Show me a lady, a healthy lady that do not enjoy sex and I will show you a liar that was strictly mentored by Lai Mohammed. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Tenkobos(m): 6:54am On Mar 14, 2017 |
bukatyne:Doesn't exist as far as Nigeria is concerned |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Tenkobos(m): 6:58am On Mar 14, 2017 |
bukatyne:Or maybe one wants to request for something. A favor the other will not grant ordinarily. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by tosyne2much(m): 7:52am On Mar 14, 2017 |
athaliya:Do you mean discussing it him is a bad idea? |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by tosyne2much(m): 7:55am On Mar 14, 2017 |
Tenkobos:Though most of them pretend about wanting it, but some of them really do not enjoy it sha 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by tosyne2much(m): 8:07am On Mar 14, 2017 |
Tenkobos:Hahaha You dey think say I be badoo abi? |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by olujaidi: 9:48am On Mar 14, 2017 |
So, how does a fella distinguish between when no means- "I don't want" and "I want to be seduced".If one is mistaken for the other, your lover could be seen as selfish, inconsiderate etc CC: bukatyne; athaliya; acidosis; PaperLace |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by athaliya(f): 10:12am On Mar 14, 2017 |
olujaidi: It all boils down to understanding who you're with. There are days I wake up on the wrong side of my bed, nobody talks to me, neither do I talk to anyone (at home). Thats cus they understand me well. So you should be able to understand the body language of your partner. If you aren't good at reading the body language, you can make up for it with communication. No matter how bad we feel, we'll want someone to talk to, someone to share the problem with us. So if you notice she's squeezing face, you can ask how her day went, why she's moody etc. If there's really something bothering her, its most likely no will mean no. If she doesn't even tell you whats up, no will most likely mean no. If she's tired and worn out, no will most likely mean no. Meanwhile.... for some ladies, they'll just want someone to hold them or touch them only.... But its easy for the guy to see it as a green light and want to go all the way down. Please don't misunderstand me, in the end, she may be a willing participant but next time, she wont want you to hold her cus she no get power to say no or go all the way. However, if you consent to just cuddling and petting, she may end up seducing you herself. So it all boils down to understanding your partner and communication. Disclaimer: I spoke on behalf of myself and a few ladies I know. If what I wrote doesnt talk about you, dont eat me up N.B: For the guys, if this works for you, kindly contact me for my address so you can forward my bottle of Rose Martini |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by athaliya(f): 10:18am On Mar 14, 2017 |
tosyne2much:Not at all, I was referring to your indication about knowing the sexual capacity before marriage. If you mean, discussing it with your partner, what if the partner lies? If you mean practical observation, it cant be trusted too for the reason I earlier stated. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by tosyne2much(m): 11:01am On Mar 14, 2017 |
athaliya:Yes you're very right.. Some will lie about it |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Olu317(m): 2:02pm On Mar 14, 2017 |
tosyne2much:What to believe can be quite astonishing as a matter of fact on this issue. If as a guy or married man, you don't go near a lady or have sex with your wife , you are either termed “gay" or something close to infidelity. And if you have a lot of heart bugging issues without hanging out with a lady while your bank account swells, people will be suspicious of your wealth of having a stench of spiritual enrichment. While the scientists have all come out to lay claim efficacy of good healthy living for constant sex practice to support promiscuoucity because it make the body, precisely the “HEART " healthy. The bottom line here is that dynamism is the greatest gift supernatural controller of this world has endow humanity . This is expected of human beings to be unique in their different ways and mentality but with expected coordinated temperament. What work for A may not and will not work for B. I could remember a friend of mine who couldn't take off his eyes once anything in skirts passes by him whom he has interest . He has never missed his target once he has interest. At times, some other friends see it as something else as Diabolic until his secret were known to all of them as just being smart and this I knew before them all as his style wasn't worth emulating for me. But I saw and still see him as insatiable person. The most devastating aspect of it is that these girls kept falling for his antics over and over because he has swag and sugar coat mouth to knock any lady off her feet. And men knows that WOMEN LOVE TO HEAR A STORY TELLER WITH A TOUCH OF LIES TO CRACK AWAY THEIR SORROW . The bottom line here is that sex doesn't make relationship work but mutual understanding.... If you ask those who claim to be sex machine, some of their girlfriend are already a victim of my friends. I subscribe to this because the said guy could sleep with over three hundred girls in a year. Where do put a cool guy who couldn't say hi to a fine girl? At times twosome , I have seen but didn't see party. So, ladies does more shit more than men. That's where I knew the truth about human make up because what you place value on is being made like a piece of RAG by someone else which go either way. So, therefore, everyone take the path that works for him or her, however, do self appraisal before you loose it all,especially one's wife or partner. Q.E.D 1 Like |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by olujaidi: 4:05pm On Mar 14, 2017 |
athaliya: Hahahahahahaha. One can of Orijin for you Martini too cost |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Blonchilli(m): 8:08pm On Mar 14, 2017 |
bukatyne:I've always said it that the only thing that will make me cheat on my wife is her withholding sex in the marriage and that's when I'm left with no more options |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Jahblessme: 3:31am On Mar 15, 2017 |
At the worst,draw a time table and stick to it and agree that even if heaven falls Monday, Wednesday and Friday na fockrey day , jara days for no or room for seduction Saturday and Sunday. If you know and love your partner,you understand the words they use and their body language. There are people who say no and mean it,there are some who say no with options. There are times when a person isn't in the mood even for seduction and that should be respected.You should know when to tie rope round your coochie/ blokos cos he/she isn't in the mood. I'm referring to people in a loving relationship. You cannot beat someone up or cause a serious grievance then come for s ex and when he/she says no you start wanting to seduce. Know who you are with and you will know when they are open to se xual advances. My fear about the 'seduction' is where does it stop being seduction and then border on force? People have different interpretations of what seduction is.So where is the line drawn? There are some people who will never get the message and even if you say no believe that their touch will set you on fire eg Kemen who is a typical rapist/ forceful penetrant who has talked of drugging women to have his way.Very unappealing with kpomo mouth that can make pot of soup. Anyway,if hubby or wife keeps saying no,they can do other things to you can't they? If that one fails,vaseline,if it fails vi brator/dil do nko? No one can make guy with s ex anymore,there are now dozens of ways to have an orga sm without extra human participation. You do know that many women have found a lot of pleasure by self exploration.Men are also babas in the game. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:32am On Mar 15, 2017 |
olujaidi: By seduce here, I mean a partner says no and you try to arouse them through pre-intimacy. If after a while, the partner still insists, let them be. E.g., I start touching my husband and he says no.... I continue and attempt to give him a bj and still insists no... I try to ask what's wrong and no concrete answer; I will leave him alone. He is really not interesred. There is no force applied. 1 Like |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:34am On Mar 15, 2017 |
Tenkobos: Which I feel is wrong. I don't like se.X as a bargaining chip. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:38am On Mar 15, 2017 |
Blonchilli: If your wife is withholding se.x, tie your prick and find a solution together. I will never encourage adultery. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:42am On Mar 15, 2017 |
Jahblessme: Lol @ timetable. I totally agree that this applies to a healthy marriage. One party can't constantly hurt the other and expect a yes/seduction to work. As per what I mean seduction, please see below. bukatyne: I am totally against force and manhandling. That Kemen's case is not so clear cut to me joor. If a spouse keeps sayin no, there is fire on the mountain o! And they both need to quench it. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Blonchilli(m): 8:42am On Mar 15, 2017 |
bukatyne:That's why I said left without anymore options |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 8:45am On Mar 15, 2017 |
Blonchilli: Why don't you seperate instead and tell the whole world (not really) why? That's if your hands are clean. He who comes to equity must come with clean hands |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Blonchilli(m): 8:54am On Mar 15, 2017 |
bukatyne:Separation, yes, is an option but from experience 70-80 percent marriages fail after separation. However if violence is creeping in divorce should be the 1st option |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 9:17am On Mar 15, 2017 |
Blonchilli: Depends on what they are seperating for. Most people who seperate here do so because they do not want to 'divorce' rather than to solve a problem. If hubby says ... I am moving out to XYZ (where he is accountable to people) till you need me, the wife will sit up. Not seperating and start frolicking the town. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Blonchilli(m): 9:40am On Mar 15, 2017 |
bukatyne:Exactly. Nigerians don't know how separation works and most of these cases I've seen the marriage just dies a natural death after that |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by Nobody: 9:40am On Mar 15, 2017 |
Both vowed to submit their bodies, freely and without question to each other on the day of their wedding. Why then should there be issues of non-consent especially since both had, at the moment they pronounced their marital vows, waived their right to "non-consensuality"? |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 9:47am On Mar 15, 2017 |
DarkRebel101: Even if there is blanket consent by the virtue of their vows and definition of marriage, there is still a need to agree before se.x. A parent by virtue of having a child has automatically declared responsibility for all the needs of the child. Yet the child has to ask, cajole or accept the rejection of his parents sometimes. |
Re: Sex And Consent In Marriage by bukatyne(f): 9:54am On Mar 15, 2017 |
Blonchilli: The idea of seperating is to deny your spouse whatever benefits they enjoy been married to you so they can sit up. It's just like a parent taking all privileges of a child to correct a behaviour. E.g. a wife doesn't have se.X with her husband (for no justified reason) and the husband has tried several stuffs which did not work. He can leave the house for a while to the woman to sit up. When she begins to do things her husband traditionally does, she begins to weigh if her behaviour is worth the stress she is undergoing and change. Again, this will only work if both parties really cherish the marriage else it's good riddance to bad rubbish and they go their seperate ways. 1 Like |
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