Good day all,

I am a young dude who just did his traditional wedding. I have been having issues with my wife lately. She always nags at the highest pitch of her voice during simple arguments. I provide for the family the best way i can but she never appreciates me. She moved from her fathers mansion in Ikoyi Lagos to stay with me here on d mainland. She always complains how she misses life in Lekki and all that.

Now we are about to start white wedding plans. she never feels am correct. I have a certain budget for things but feel its not standard and its too local.She picks high end stuff from wedding gown to decoration that i and my family cant really afford and this turns to arguments. She once told me that am i so poor? My brethen I do business and my budget for my wedding is 1.5m i stay in a comfortable 2 bed that i pay 800k. I drive a muscle still im not good enuf. My family and I picked a venue for the wedding but she and her family declined that the place is too local. My church hall on d island that agreed for us to pay 300k, now her father wants to pay for a hal in VI thats 2million. She has now been singing it to my ears that her father is doing the wedding so how am i contributing. This pains me a lot. she is always on instagram and shows me people that have benz or expensive diamond which she knows i cant afford. I always tell her not to compare lives with people on IG most of them are fake.

I have been thinking can i continue like this?We argue all the time and wishes we stayed in Lekki. Please folks I was my self before I proposed I didnt Lie or fake anything. Guys am i not good enough??I miss my ex that understood me but wasnt from my tribe and i was not given parental blessings to marry her. Please advice me cos im a very unhappy should I go on with my white wedding? Please advice. sorry for my blunders

Eyaa...kpele.
I advice you to cut oof the wedding and ask for a bride price refund ASAP.

How come you didn't see all these before engagement and traditional marriage

run for your life.

Kondomatic:
How come you didn't see all these before engagement and traditional marriage

I saw some attributes but I just brushed it aside thinking cos she grew up on d island she may b used to that. she was never rude 80percent of the time.

Really nid 2 talk 2 ha. Mek ha undastnd n cum dwn 2 ur level. She nids 2 appreciate ur efforts

Plankton2017:


I saw some attributes but I just brushed it aside thinking cos she grew up on d island she may b used to that. she was never rude 80percent of the time.

How much did she contribute or promise to contribute for the wedding

Na wah o.

But you're married already na.

Better let your wife understand clearly now, and let her face reality that all that comparisons, kolewerk.

Abeg, didn't she know your level when you were dating? Infact, tell them you're not ready for any white wedding yet.
Let them give you a couple of years to buy a house in Lekki.
There's no point wasting more money doing an elaborate church wedding on a marriage that's dead on arrival.
Just make do with your traditional jeje, and do some "watchful waiting" as things pan out.

This one is strong o... Just make her understand with you... it is the price you have to pay for breaking up with a loyal babe because of tribal affiliation only to end up with a disloyal, rude and spoilt Ajebutter...

Now that it is still early, It's either u quit or u tolerate her & her family excesses.

Eyah......what a pity

my brother, this is not a curse.... your marriage may never work....

what your wife to be is insinuating is that you are not up to her standard...


Boss better quit before you begin dey tell stories of how your in-laws refused your mother from entering the wedding center because they
(your in-laws) paid for it...

Plankton2017:


I saw some attributes but I just brushed it aside thinking cos she grew up on d island she may b used to that. she was never rude 80percent of the time.

bro, I advice that you stop the white wedding TILL FURTHER NOTICE...

Don't allow her father sponsor the wedding, otherwise, you will regret for the rest of your married life.


How old is she?

[quote author=Plankton2017 post=55046428]

I saw some attributes but I just brushed it aside thinking cos she grew up on d island she may b used to that. she was never rude 80percent of the time.[/quo
te]

My dear leave that lady for people that are up to her standard or you will regret ever knowing her.leave beauty and poshiness when you get married you will come to hate everything about it because you will have to maintain it.biko leave her alone.
So we still have tribalistic parents them! See what they caused.mtcheeeewww

she would be 25 this year

Both of you need to see a counselor.

Bros Stay ur ground on every decision u once made either seriously or jokingly.
For the hall, insist u use the hall u and ur family can afford.
Insist on u sponsoring ur wedding with the little budget u have or better still ,threaten to even cut it down to 1m
There's a way u can cut her and her family to size by being strong on every side

Plankton2017:
she would be 25 this year

postpone the wedding till further notice bro... Don't be held to ran ransom else you will live in regret...

She either return to sanity or you find a humble, loyal and understanding girl to marry.

ur parents disallowed ur marriage to ur ex because she's not from ur tribe
oya enjoy the one from ur tribe nah
call it off man, u deserve ur own respect as the man

I just to say that, u may not be in charge of your home if certain things are not ironed out. Seems there is a class divide and your bae is not willing to gloss over it. I am afraid the time to make her see, and accept you for who you are is rather short, considering your plan for the wedding ceremony.

Think twice base on the following logistics

**If you will not be able to accept insults and nagging based on your inability to provide a living standard she is used to, bros think twice.

**If 65% to 75% of the wedding budget is not being carried by you and your family, bros think twice ooo. She don dey boast about her dad sponsoring the wedding sef.

**if you have no stable source of income that can sustain and maintain a standard your bae is used to, think twice, pause the wedding and work more.

**if at this stage your bae doesn't listen to you or reason with you based on logistics, bros think twice ooo...she go allow you talk at all when Una marry.


All the same, love conquers all. I wish you best of luck

Well to my little understanding I will advise you to tell her you can't coup with yhe wedding and you want a breakup......
please make sure it is one on one I. e only you and her when your discussing that issue

1. check her motive / reaction during the discussion
I don't expect her to beg you immediately but after that day I believed her friends and families will call her and caution her and I expect little changes after this talk

2. Remember she was brought up with a golden spoon since you know you're not in the same categories then you shouldn't have proposed.

3.

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

I am a young dude who just did his traditional wedding. I have been having issues with my wife lately. She always nags at the highest pitch of her voice during simple arguments. I provide for the family the best way i can but she never appreciates me. She moved from her fathers mansion in Ikoyi Lagos to stay with me here on d mainland. She always complains how she misses life in Lekki and all that.

Now we are about to start white wedding plans. she never feels am correct. I have a certain budget for things but feel its not standard and its too local.She picks high end stuff from wedding gown to decoration that i and my family cant really afford and this turns to arguments. She once told me that am i so poor? My brethen I do business and my budget for my wedding is 1.5m i stay in a comfortable 2 bed that i pay 800k. I drive a muscle still im not good enuf. My family and I picked a venue for the wedding but she and her family declined that the place is too local. My church hall on d island that agreed for us to pay 300k, now her father wants to pay for a hal in VI thats 2million. She has now been singing it to my ears that her father is doing the wedding so how am i contributing. This pains me a lot. she is always on instagram and shows me people that have benz or expensive diamond which she knows i cant afford. I always tell her not to compare lives with people on IG most of them are fake.

I have been thinking can i continue like this?We argue all the time and wishes we stayed in Lekki. Please folks I was my self before I proposed I didnt Lie or fake anything. Guys am i not good enough??I miss my ex that understood me but wasnt from my tribe and i was not given parental blessings to marry her. Please advice me cos im a very unhappy should I go on with my white wedding? Please advice. sorry for my blunders

Guy run , Read my lips RUN and keep running. Bail out bro abandon ship, before life becomes miserable before you kill someone or someone kills you.

Threaten to call off the wedding if this will put her in check if it doesn't you walk away now that it's still early..could possibly be she doesn't love you that much but just thrilled by the fun of marriage preparations and process which at the end after the euphoria has wanned she'll run away

Too early to consider breaking off. You're the man now. Study your woman well and handle her hardly. If you want the marriage to last Bros take control. Her parents luxury shouldn't intimidate you. Do what you can do and if she doesn't like it let her do it herself and not her family. Once her family starts involving themselves the way they are doing now, Bros na dem go get say for your own house o!

why not put the white wedding on hold till further notice, if u marry under such circumstances u might end up developing high bp. alot of young guys these days r under so much pressure to please their wives n her family leading to early death. I wish u all the best.

Run

Uncle, why you wan wear shoe wey no fit size you na?

subtlemee:
Threaten to call off the wedding if this will put her in check if it doesn't you walk away now that it's still early..could possibly be she doesn't love you that much but just thrilled by the fun of marriage preparations and process which at the end after the euphoria has wanned she'll run away

This a short term remedy for a long term illness which will always come up. The best is RUN.

One chance

You must have tried so hard to impress her while you both were dating for her to agree to marry you.
Now she thinks you can afford them all, not knowing you were just impressing her

Better sit her down now and insist that your wedding must be done within your budget or she forget about the marriage.

I fear for you already
She will nag you to death o if you don't keep up the assumed standard after wedding.

Hey Bro...I think your like me, not wanting to hurt a soul but urself instead, and if you take count from the answers we have here, which is to leave her, we all are not naive or wrong, I think that's just simply the best for you right now, for goodness sake u make a good living and I really don't know wetin carry go islandgo find wife, come to Gbagaba and see super posh babes of your level, unlessu want to get high blood pressure and die before 35 or probably have a sperated family... My advice is that you leave and just make her see reasons why it wouldn't work out.... U seem like a responsible man, I would hate to see you have an ugly life....

Better kiss her goodbye and find another wife.

First,I must tell you it is very WRONG to disregard your instincts,rather you should work with them. You noticed some things and assumed they'll vanish overtime or what? Your partner is immature and insensitive which in my book translates to not being ready,its not about age. You said you've always been yourself around her,she knows your worth so why the unnecessary hassles? You need to HALT your wedding plans (though I think you are already married,trad and all) and have a serious, lengthy tete a tete. If you want to be man of the house,start now. Tell her nicely that while you appreciate the help you can handle your responsibility without her father's input. If you don't take a stand now,sorry pal,you're bought and your inlaws may be the ones calling the shots in your marriage. Goodluck!