Brother , This is not new .. Just show her more love ja re.. Women don't have quality brain box.. Just shower her with Love and commit all to God . She Loves you i swear but na just their nature.. Many of them re like that with money oh.. Even men too behave like that with money. So my brother make sure you keep that marriage together.. No better woman out there for you. The devil you know is better than those fake angels oh . Please please spoil her with love and always joke about everything she says to you. Please and please.. I can see the devil trying to enter. Just rebuke the devil by always smiling and be the man of the house.. I don't think its by money only sha.. Use wisdom .. seek wisdom from God almighty . please email me for more advice..papylove07@yahoo.com

seanet01:
See woman o.

So is she supposed to do everything by herself?
Will the man be happy providing for the family and doing all the house keeping at the same time? I'm certain the answer is negative.

Nobody should serve what they can't take.
The home runs smoothly when labor is shared.
If it all falls on one person, the stress leads to things like what the OP is describing in his post. (I don't support rudeness anyway)
However the sooner people realize this, the happier many marriages will be.

Their problem is that they want to leave everything to the woman and use blackmail to make her not talk about it.

The day any man is willing to provide for his family, do the house work, get pregnant, bear the children and raise them, that day he earns the right to complain about female breadwinners who are not willing to take all the labor with a smiling face.

Y'all are talking about how women get horrible when they are providing for the family without taking into account all the other things she's doing as the woman of the house which most of you in your erroneous pride think is beneath you to do.


Think about it and tell me how that's fair.

Never mind. I don't think any of you can understand the concept of fairness anyway.

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

If I should say I understand how u are feeling bro, it means am lying because I am not in ur shoe. But the only advise I can give to u is that don't fight her, just KEEP CALM! And BE PATIENT! All will be well. Just try n find something to be doing which will b bringing income for u if not much. At least as a man if na only food u can provide... It's enough my dear brother.

I wish u well in all ur endeavors...

DukeNija:


Please go and read the story and stop asking ridiculous questions.

I have read the story.. I don't believe the op.

The same way I don't believe most wives who say "I didn't do anything to him. He just started beating me"

Most women married their men not bcus of luv but bcus of d man's money. I lost my lost my job for abt a ur and l saw fire
I left home for 3 months bcus of landlord wahala.today we are no longer together. Am doing very very well.she wants to come back

That's women for you but you just have to keep calm, pretend like you don't hear all she's saying and endure it. It's just for awhile and I pray God will provide another better Job soon.
And please be careful with some advice here because they can be misleading. God bless your home.

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Obiwiz:

I won't be quick to castigate the woman here, even though I admit she's being a bit too hard on you.
I've several questions for you: First, where's your savings all the while you were working? You could afford a car and sponsor your wife's PG studies, you should also have some decent savings. If you didn't save anything while you worked,then that's a big mistake. As a man, you ought to start planning for retirement/job loss from your first pay packet.
Secondly, who bought the car she's moaning about fuelling? Can you drive? Can't that car be engaged in some form of commercial transport activity by you? If it can't, then sell it to raise some capital.
Lastly, are you posturing towards remaining idle until you get another white collar job? If that's true, then your wife is giving your mind the right stimulus it needs to wake up.
Frankly, your case is even mild, you have some safety nets to keep you afloat somehow. What if she didn't get that state govt job? what if the car isn't there? Some men aren't lucky enough to have these....

You're real man, thumbs up for you. I don't have a car, neither my wife. But we have 4 different saving accounts: mine, my wife's, my daughtes' and family's. It doesn't matter the amount we're able raise in each of the accounts but the foresight.

FortuneTeller:


Good for you. It's a broke man mentality that will make you bitter. Just understand you will never get a woman you truly want being that way. That is why some should marry while others remain single.

Lol we never really needed women...in the first place

Martinez19:
she is actually a gold digger. I think you should check the meaning of gold digging. There are ways to motivate your man but doing it by insult is unacceptable.

For this reasoning and ignorance, take this

So u had to quickly take a dump and snap just to upload on NL Disgusting!

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

Desr brother, it bleeds my heart when I see ex bankers going thru he'll after losing their jobs. Banking job is like playing Russian roulette and surely one day the only bullet in the gun will go off so u either quit the game before it goes off or have a neuro surgeon readily avaliable to treat. I don't know the unit you worked in the bank but I will assume it's operations because they are always the worst hit. I would advise that u make a list of the banks customers u had a good relationship with (hope u didn't get sacked for fraud) and meet the ones that have a consumer based business and try and become a middle man for them. Hustle for them and earn commission. If u left the bank due to no fault of yours you can always analyse your former colleagues and find the products they need and begin to sell to them on a small scale.
Lemme give u an example..... most bankers wear white shirts that they normally buy at the cost of 10k and above. U can start by sourcing fairly used white shirts from ok abi bend down select and u can get it for 1k and dry clean them and u can sell for 3k. It might seem small but imagine if u have constant supply of high quality ok shirts and let's sell u sell 50 shirts a month that's like 5shirts it to 10 bankers that's like a hundred thousand for starts.
You can also start become a land and house agent by the side considering that most of your colleagues don't have time act as an intermediary for them. Don't lose your self confidence cos your situation is temporary keep your head up and ignore your wife and reduce your dependence on her.
Just ensure that everyday u leave the house and start from your known friends. Most might shun u but once u are reliably and trust worthy a. Sure one or two will definetly assist. Keep looking for another job and remain prayerful God will see u thru........... shalom!!!!!

kaziblake:
Yea and we use to be friends.
Thelma

wow... I didn't even know it's you...

What happened na?

Did he hurt you?

praxisnetworks:

Lol we never really needed women...in the first place

GAY sighting.

dingbang:
what kind of stupid woman is that?

stupid I swear!

FortuneTeller:


GAY sighting.

Feel free... I am not gonna lay my life for any Eve... How's your sister's impotent husband doing?

Rossikki:


OP, ignore the advice of this woman.... Get your finances going, and then GET RID of your ''wife'', and find someone who loves you. Life is too short to live with a selfish, cold, wicked, and mean-spirited person that you call ''wife''. You DESERVE to be loved. Go get it. Anything else, and you're selling yourself short.

One more thing. You will NEVER forget the way she acted, even when you finally get on your feet. It will haunt you night and day. When she turns smiley and pleasant, you will think in your mind ''You devil. Now I have money you're smiling''. You will NEVER love her again after this situation. You need and should get, another woman.

A word is enough for the wise.

OP,ignore this advise.This is from the pit of hell

sweerychick:
Im sorry for your condition, but its obvious u have a greedy and selfish woman as a wife. Lord knows that i cant insult my husband cos of his condition. When u guys exchanged vows she forgot abt the part of good times and bad times so it is all abt her enjoying without remembering your sacrifice towards her. Keep the faith and hope alive God wil sure reward ur pains wt joy. remember the story of job.. dont loose hope. cheers

By the time your husband loses his job and you become the breadwinner I bet that you would sing a different chorus. It's so easy to cast aspersions on someone for doing something wrong but only God knows if you won't do worse when faced with such a similar situation.

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

Op, your wife is simply displaying the trait that EVERY WOMAN possess,which in simple terms- NO WOMAN is wired to fend for the family. Different women with different tolerance levels (some can tolerate this scenario for some years, some some months, while others its few weeks, if not days), what you are seeing playing out is that your wife has simply reached her own breaking point/ tolerance level and she cant take it no more. This is why I always say that women and men are different beings, they act differently, think differently, and can NEVER BE EQUAL.

Any man that comes here to boast of his wife is this or that or different, my response to you is simple: put this op's scenario to test with your wife, and see how long your so called 'special wife/ woman' will continue to respect you. You will be shocked what reactions you'd get from her.

Back to the op, the solution is CERTAINLY NOT to fight your woman, cos she is displaying what every other lady will also display (cos its not like as if you start dating another woman, and remarry another woman and this same scenario plays out, its not like another woman will stay with you, no, she wont once she reaches her breaking point, which your wife has clearly reached).

Women are not wired to be giving or committing funds in any relationship for a very long time, its not in their nature, so oga, quickly try to double your hustle so you can start earning some income to resume your duty as the 'man of the house', which your wife is tired of playing for you. Why not convert your car to e-taxi business (Uber/ Taxify), that way, small income comes in, while you look for other streams of income before you get another good paying job. This way, you will be shocked how your 'nagging or insulting wife' will quickly change back to normalcy and resume her loving, sweet wife that you used to know.

MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT EQUAL, THEY ARE WIRED DIFFERENTLY AND RESPOND TO MATTERS DIFFERENTLY. DONT CRUCIFY YOUR WIFE.

Kuzee23:
Brother , This is not new .. Just show her more love ja re.. Women don't have quality brain box.. Just shower her with Love and commit all to God . She Loves you i swear but na just their nature.. Many of them re like that with money oh.. Even men too behave like that with money. So my brother make sure you keep that marriage together.. No better woman out there for you. The devil you know is better than those fake angels oh . Please please spoil her with love and always joke about everything she says to you. Please and please.. I can see the devil trying to enter. Just rebuke the devil by always smiling and be the man of the house.. I don't think its by money only sha.. Use wisdom .. seek wisdom from God almighty . please email me for more advice..papylove07@yahoo.com

Amen! May God bless you for telling him the truth.

FortuneTeller:


My husband wouldn't be foolish enough to be wasting time here. He would be out hustling every morning until he found work.

Keep quiet, who told you the op is not hustling? So sparing 15-20 mins to type this on nairaland is foolish and wasting of time. Wicked woman. I pity that man that married you

praxisnetworks:

Feel free... I am not gonna lay my life for any Eve... How's your sister's impotent husband doing?

You're so bold to ask about another man's genitals? #GAY

FortuneTeller:


Good for you. It's a broke man mentality that will make you bitter. Just understand you will never get a woman you truly want being that way. That is why some should marry while others remain single.

Looll! You are a very funny lady with double standards. A man does everything for the wife, losses his job and he becomes a lazy liability. He does the opposite and becomes bitter with a broke man mentality. I actually wrote all that intentionally and your response was very predictable. You women are just impossible. Anyway, i will only advice men to focus on their personal and financial growth first before getting married. And even in marriage, Men should focus more on themselves. Doing otherwise is at their detriment as women are extremely selfish.

And i will get the woman i want, she's just not like you.

And on the other Thread, the Japanese man went and brought the Doll in place of his misbehavin wife

@Op wen next u pick up anoda job, wont u giv it a thot??

YelloweWest:
Op I'll be honest with u.
It is a man's responsibility to provide for his family.
It is a woman's responsibility to take care of the home and kids.
Anything that alters this position will definitely bring friction in the home.

If you want your marriage to work u need to see things from your partner standpoint.
You said when u were working u took care of your family, however u didn't give any details of such care the way u detailed your wifes misbehaviour.

I seriously doubt ur story Mr.

This mentality of whose responsibility is to provide and to care for the kids is definitely the root of this man's problem. This is 2017 and not 1995, financial responsibilities of the home should be the responsibility on both the Father and Mother of the house likewise the care of the home and kids. Gone are the days when Mother stays home or earn very little income. Nowadays, Male and Female are fully a workforce and their earns varies slightly.
There's not wrong in Mummy dropping her salary for upkeep of the home likewise their nothing wrong for Daddy to pickup the kids from school and prepare lunch or dinner for them while Mummy is at her duty post.
The earlier the society reset and update to this modern way of living the better for us all.

CROWNWEALTH019:
And this na woman way you date and way vow to love you and would do anything for you. Na the same day devil and women were created but we no no which one was created first...


Take heart bro, when bubu burial is announced things would pick up

When you die a painful miserable death, I'll call everybody to celebrate, and we'll all drink at your grave side.

DukeNija:


Looll! You are a very funny lady with double standards. A man does everything for the wife, losses his job and he becomes a lazy liability. He does the opposite and becomes bitter with a broke man mentality. I actually wrote all that intentionally and your response was very predictable. You women are just impossible. Anyway, i will only advice men to focus on their personal and financial growth first before getting married. And even in marriage, Men should focus more on themselves. Doing otherwise is at their detriment as women are extremely selfish.

And i will get the woman i want, she's just not like you.

You won't get her without money for the bride price and wedding. Lose your job after marriage and trust me, she will flee after a point.

bros i swear u never get wife o. dis one na complainer n not a companion. only 4 mths n she dey hala. abeg ask when she go pay d money n expenses u paid for her masters. na u i blame sha. na u spoil her o. for 2yrs she no do anythng n u cdnt set her up wt a business. i think u shd report to her family n urs. its obvious ur wife thinks of u as d one who shd b running d family upkeep whc ir unfair n selfish of her.

Use your car as a source of income tax if you or Uber better still can services forget what she is doing to u act as if you lost your job and she is jobless look for ways to provide for your family if she sees all your moves she will help. Truth be told you are making her see you as liability cis you are just spending her money on what will not bring profits women don't like that engage in business and ask her for support that way she will be of help

FortuneTeller:


I am not talking about the original writer. Another man came to tell his story of being unemployed two years.

Two years! And doing nothing? I married in 2011, only worked with my certificates for just six months before termination of appointment. It has been hustling for almost 5 years. One can't just sit down and be expecting white collar job by fire by force.

BiafraBushBoy:


wow... I didn't even know it's you...

What happened na?

Did he hurt you?

long story dear

FortuneTeller:


You're so bold to ask about another man's genitals? #GAY

His impotent genitali.a is more useful than youll ever be forever