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I Just Cut The Cord With My Father - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Nobody: 2:13pm On Sep 18, 2017
Deeperlife is the Boko Haram of Christianity , the only difference is that they use everlasting torture in liquid fire to threaten their deceived members into submission.

The amount of families this Cult has broken down are too many to mention.

3 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by sod09(m): 2:14pm On Sep 18, 2017
You did the right thing
Religion is a scam in nigeria
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by AkupeMBANO(m): 2:16pm On Sep 18, 2017
your father remains your father.
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Kaybaba5(m): 2:17pm On Sep 18, 2017
NoToPile:
grin grin

Bros you cut ties with your father because of this, you are even in another country so why are you even bothering yourself.

Going to church on Sunday is not a religious doctrine in my opinion, a lot of Nigerian parents do that, it may be to the extreme me but in his mind he is looking out for your spiritual well-being.He's just doing what an average Nigerian pastor parent would do.Its important to him (maybe not to you) that's why he's asking.

Will he use cane to flog you if you don't go to church -NO . so why breaking ties with him because he asked for the number of times you attended, you either answer or laugh over it.

It doesn't make much sense to cut communication with him because of this, he's still your father you can always have your way around him and ignore some of those things. You are not even in naija so why the huffing and puffing.

People have worse parents but still its not advisable to cut them off, you deal with them in wisdom.

A lot of Nigerian parents do things that piss their married children off but you deal with them with wisdom.
Elderly people are to be treated wisely don't hurt him abeg.




Its an irrelevant issue

U Nack the nail on the head
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by AYOILORI: 2:18pm On Sep 18, 2017
I understand how you feel but this has not given you enough reason to create a communication gap between you and your caring and Loving Dad.

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by eezeribe(m): 2:18pm On Sep 18, 2017
OK

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by lozanni(m): 2:19pm On Sep 18, 2017
Zeze06:
cry

I understand this feeling... embarassed, if your father is old, please be careful not to hurt him, just follow him gently, you can even lie sometimes, just so you don't break his heart...

Elderly people sometimes do take things a little too seriously..
I would give anything to have my dad here to ask me any kind of questions in this world...

My guy, I guess you father is no more, like mine. There is not a single day I don't miss him, God bless his Soul.
Those who still have their Daddy with them, don't know, sometimes don't value, what they have.
I know the Western world social values is becoming entrenched in the Ops world view, but to cut contact with your father over religious issues is a no-no for me and I guess many others.

3 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by twilliamx(m): 2:19pm On Sep 18, 2017
Na wa for u ooo. Why u go vex and cut ties with ur papa cos say he ask u make u go church. U must have anger issues and that was y u dad was forcing to go hear the word. Such unreasonable people out there. I would give anything to hear my dad force me to go to church.

2 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by ikp120(m): 2:20pm On Sep 18, 2017
Congratulations!

Now you are a man! cool cool

Done that for almost 10 years now. No regrets!

3 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by moneyspeaking: 2:21pm On Sep 18, 2017
you children of now adays, parent will struggle so much on you. is this a good way to pay him back?
You would ve been happy if he asked you if you when last you worship satan?

think:
many people wish they still have parents but are here asking if you are over reacting?

have you ever noticed the reaction and mood of that your friend without father on the fathers day?

abegiiiii, cut all communication and stop the financial support too.... mthcw cry cry cry cry

We know your type; 10 cows for burial.
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by missjane: 2:21pm On Sep 18, 2017
OP I wish I had a father like yours. You are blessed. I would give anything to be in your shoes. My father is a deeply occultic man and you can imagine the state of affairs in my family. I have prayed tirelessly for his repentance but it seems it's nothing is happening.. Pls every day u kneel to pray, thank God first that you have a father who is going to any lenght to make sure you make Heaven n bond with Jesus whether he is going about it the right way or not.

9 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by bennymark(m): 2:21pm On Sep 18, 2017
Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.



it's been 3 years now that I don't attend morning devotion when I am at the family house, neither do I attend same church with them. I gave them my reasons and they all know it's never gonna go down well if they force it on me



religion and worship is a personal thing, don't go with the crowd, follow your conscience. but cutting the cord with him seems extreme. try and reach out to him after a while so he knows you will cut off completely if he persists, our Father them no dey hear word at all
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by moneyspeaking: 2:22pm On Sep 18, 2017
lozanni:


My guy, I guess you father is no more, like mine. There is not a single day I don't miss him, God bless his Soul.
Those who still have their Daddy with them, don't know, sometimes don't value, what they have.
I know the Western world social values is becoming entrenched in the Ops world view, but to cut contact with your father over religious issues is a no-no for me and I guess many others.
God bless you. Wise man

2 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Tomtoxic: 2:22pm On Sep 18, 2017
I understand what you are going true man most naija parents are religious extremists oh but the matter never reach to block ur old man but anytime he tries to force his doctrines on U always stand up for urself bro U are even married Na so why is he policing your life sef
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by emmpire: 2:23pm On Sep 18, 2017
Your father mean well for you is why he reacts this way... and sometimes going over the board. You should be happy you have a father calling you and looking out for you and not only asking for money for this or for that.
I would call him back and apologize for hanging up on him, then have a man to man talk with him. He should realize that you are an adult now and should be treated as one. You don't run from your problems but face it.

2 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by aanexplus(m): 2:23pm On Sep 18, 2017
Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

This is very simple, tell him what he want to hear. Did you go to church? Yes... simple

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by njideoby(f): 2:24pm On Sep 18, 2017
Op, you seem so bottled up. You need to be more relax with your dad. There's nothing wrong with your father been concerned over your spiritual welfare. He believe that he's answerable to God about you, hence he's insistence.
The way you sound, I see you been worse than your father in your later years.

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by moneyspeaking: 2:26pm On Sep 18, 2017
emmpire:
Your father mean well for you is why he reacts this way... and sometimes going over the board. You should be happy you have a father calling you and looking out for you and not only asking for money for this or for that.
I would call him back and apologize for hanging up on him, then have a man to man talk with him. He should realize that you are an adult now and should be treated as one. You don't run from your problems but face it.


I dont see any problem here self

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by ivolt: 2:26pm On Sep 18, 2017
You don't need to cut ties with him, just set the terms of engagement:
"Father, you cannot dictate to me how I live my life, we can discuss any other
thing"


The path you took is akin to cowardice and callousness. If someone especially
your family does wrong let them know they are wrong, don't just cut them off.

2 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Timbuktuo: 2:28pm On Sep 18, 2017
Zeze06:
cry

I understand this feeling... embarassed, if your father is old, please be careful not to hurt him, just follow him gently, you can even lie sometimes, just so you don't break his heart...

Elderly people sometimes do take things a little too seriously..
I would give anything to have my dad here to ask me any kind of questions in this world...

First of all, I think the father means well but is being unnecessarily controlling, and with a man with a family he should respect his son's autonomy. Even if OP has stopped attending church all the father should do is admonish not try to coerce.

You're right Op should be gentle with elders but truth is sometimes you need to be blunt elder or no, not necessarily disrespectful o.

Beverly1, you guys will be fine. Papa will understand that he was overreaching, and he'll be remorseful but you will have to reach out to him first in humility and also to show him you didn't mean to be disrespectful. If you call him according to a schedule, you can call him a few days before the scheduled date. He should get the message, however, he might not and you will still need to be firm.

One more thing Beverly, don't mention the incident and don't apologise for it, you calling earlier than normal should suffice. You should only apologise if he mentions it himself or he reports you to siblings or other relatives.

Good luck.
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by ikp120(m): 2:29pm On Sep 18, 2017
missjane:
OP I wish I had a father like yours. You are blessed. I would give anything to be in your shoes. My father is a deeply occultic man and you can imagine the state of affairs in my family. I have prayed tirelessly for his repentance but it seems it's nothing is happening.. Pls every day u kneel to pray, thank God first that you have a father who is going to any lenght to make sure you make Heaven n bond with Jesus whether he is going about it the right way or not.
Occultic man?

Abeg, I need accurate match scores for bet9ja. grin grin grin

Abeg, your papa occultic to that level?
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by betty616(f): 2:29pm On Sep 18, 2017
Your papa no extremist reach my own papa o. My deeper life pastor father. No where dey enter us but right from the world began but we need to thread with caution. There's no need to cut ties with him cos of this. You're not even in Nigeria so it shouldn't be a biggie at all. Me wey my papa say I must marry deeper life if not make I just forget marriage nko? Wetin I go con do, severe ties with ever existing through him? No.. I'm scheming and planning how I'll follow him so no one gets hurt. Though we're never on the same page, he's still my father and that's what you should do too. Use wisdom. Force doesn't work with extremists o

2 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by UfuomaUN(m): 2:30pm On Sep 18, 2017
Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

Sounds a lot like "father" in Chimamnda's purple habiscus grin

But ( In Tyrion's voice) did you ever consider lying. It's a vital social skill you know. Lying would have saved you the relationship with your father at least

grin

2 Likes

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Timbuktuo: 2:31pm On Sep 18, 2017
njideoby:
Op, you seem so bottled up. You need to be more relax with your dad. There's nothing wrong with your father been concerned over your spiritual welfare. He believe that he's answerable to God about you, hence he's insistence.
The way you sound, I see you been worse than your father in your later years.

I would still blame this on the way his father brought him up. People like his dad have little skill in resolving conflict with tact, I guess he learnt that from his father.

They'll be fine though. Sometimes, stuff like this needs to happen so controlling fathers van get the much needed wake up call.

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 2:31pm On Sep 18, 2017
What would giving him a number costs you? Next time, drop him a number and let peace reign.
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by 12345baba(m): 2:32pm On Sep 18, 2017
I wish my dad was alive to trouble me this way sef. RIP Dad

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by cocolacec(m): 2:32pm On Sep 18, 2017
Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.


Never disrespect your father over some little issues as this.Honour thy father and Mother.
Just tell him what will make if happy(what he likes to hear thats all.There is no need dragging with your parent over control ,

Next time he calls you OR your wife just make him feel important and tell him what his heart desires.Case settled.
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by nwolisar: 2:33pm On Sep 18, 2017
TheArchangel:
Call him you stubborn son. You are not even in Nigeria sef. Pity us wey dey here. My dad say make I come back before October 1 or else??.

Or else what? cheesy Our parents are truly wonderfully made and they sure know how to push our buttons

1 Like

Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Zeze06(m): 2:35pm On Sep 18, 2017
Don't ever cut communications with your dad, every call you receive from him is priceless cry

Beverly1:
Good for him he's young ..
So he's probably still strong to handle the separation for a while......I plan to unblock him when I have an answer for his question.
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by YomiYarzo: 2:36pm On Sep 18, 2017
Well i guess i have an idea of how it feels been there once
as we grow and create our own families, we come to the realization that we have a lot of differences in Ideology
especially when it involves people we once looked up to and had high regard for, parents inclusive

While you are old enough to make decision for yourself
do not loose sight of the God's commandment in the scriptures Deuteronomy 5:16
which talks about honoring your father and your mother, the benefits are obviously for you
Do some reading and come to a conclusion that help you manage the situation within God's commandment
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Nobody: 2:36pm On Sep 18, 2017
Ogashub:
love reading people's comments I just can't help myself. It's like an addiction. So in honor of those comments that I have read, I have decided to write my own comment. And it's all for you. I hope you enjoy reading my comment as much as I have enjoyed writing it. It's not an interesting comment, but I'm pretty certain you have read the comment up to this point, so you may as well just keep reading right down to the end. And also thank me for wasting your time cause this is very useless.
this man, you smoke wind, nor be weed oh, cause weed go too strong for you. Cascitrant comment indeed!
Re: I Just Cut The Cord With My Father by Chukazu: 2:37pm On Sep 18, 2017
try discussing the issue with an uncle or aunty in the family who he can listen to .
am sure their word would mean much to him

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