Bro. U not alone. Sometimes is quite annoying the way those old school treat their children. I got asked those questions also, but u know how e dey be na. Na me go first quote Malachi, proceed to revelation, wen i will continue into Hosea through Samuel, na my mama go first change d topic. For my mind u don tire?

But she knows what'sup but she can't just help it because i have not appeared like someone against what she was saying. My papa na strong.... deeper lifer. I was like mumu while growing up. TV was unthinkable. But we all were patient till we left home due to school and all. We went rogue as we were not within his control and influence anymore. Na him taya. Call me and start to provoke old testament, me i go start how the Israelites cross the Red Sea. How fish carry Jona. e no hard.

At least not everyday so i believe is about been diplomatic. If ur dad says na bible matter, buy him old testament bible as a Christmas gift. Haha. My guy...... hmm

Timbuktuo:


First of all, I think the father means well but is being unnecessarily controlling, and with a man with a family he should respect his son's autonomy. Even if OP has stopped attending church all the father should do is admonish not try to coerce.

You're right Op should be gentle with elders but truth is sometimes you need to be blunt elder or no, not necessarily disrespectful o.

Beverly1, you guys will be fine. Papa will understand that he was overreaching, and he'll be remorseful but you will have to reach out to him first in humility and also to show him you didn't mean to be disrespectful. If you call him according to a schedule, you can call him a few days before the scheduled date. He should get the message, however, he might not and you will still need to be firm.

One more thing Beverly, don't mention the incident and don't apologise for it, you calling earlier than normal should suffice. You should only apologise if he mentions it himself or he reports you to siblings or other relatives.

Good luck.

I don't support rebellion against parents except in matters of love, every other thing is a no for me, I can't rebel mumsy for anything... Although I can comfortably say this because she is very rational....

But also... Parents don't respect "ethical boundaries"... They love too much, protect too much and also react too much...

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

OP I wish I had a dad who can control me like this spiritually, maybe you don't know what it means to have a dad, I lost my dad at the age of 13 ,never had the opportunity of a father to son talk ( man to man) you are a grown man behave like one and talk to your father instead blocking him,even if he's not your father consider his office as a pastor

Looks like ur father is one of those parents that never allow their children room to grow up even after starting ur own family. Like someone commented, ur father is a religious extremist which the scripture union sect are known for. If I were u I will give him a huge space & time. No fone call, no visit, no nothing. May be, just May be that will put him on a straight line. Don't feel sorry for him.

lozanni:


My guy, I guess you father is no more, like mine. There is not a single day I don't miss him, God bless his Soul.
Those who still have their Daddy with them, don't know, sometimes don't value, what they have.
I know the Western world social values is becoming entrenched in the Ops world view, but to cut contact with your father over religious issues is a no-no for me and I guess many others.

Amen.
You only know you love them when they are gone..God rest their souls...

You are a grown up and do not need to lie or pretend to your dad like a kid would do.

I have a lot of respect for my dad and used to be scared of upsetting him. Now I don't lie or sugarcoat anything for him any more. He has learnt to accept my decisions even when he doesn't like it (cos he is reasonable and knows that I am now my own man). Disclosure: I am an atheist and my mom still doesn't know what to make of it

Op I would do same to my father. Which kind nonsense be dat?na by force dem dey go church?

Abi my guy?

moneyspeaking:


I dont see any problem here self

no matter how fully grown or matured a child is he or she will forever be like a baby in the eyes of his or her parent,if i were you i will just laugh it off and turn it to a joke and moreover he only call ones in a while,but my candid advice to you is that dont brake your relationship with him,just give him a call and apologise to him...NOTE fighting with ones parent is a great sin in the presence of God even if they are wrong... Am sorry can open doors of blessing,take the steps now a minutes may be too late to apologise

Blocking your Dad because he cares about your salvation is worrisome.

He expressed his concerns about your Christian life, not for himself but to avoid stories that touches the heart on judgment day.

Just simple question and you are flaring up... There is no way he can enforce any doctrine on you via phone.

Your action is that of a rebellious son. I will advice that you unblock him. Apologise for your behaviour and thank him for checking on your Heavenly race.

If he doesn't love you, He won't be bothered cause he knows its your life and you can live it the way you want.

Arrogant Child... That's what you are.

Ask those who don't have a Dad... Or Those whose Dad don't care about them. Then you will know why you should be grateful for his concerns.

Be Careful... Abroad is not the same as Heaven.

Greenbullet:
Brother your father is a religious extremist, What you did was right , you have fixed a problem and created another , give your Father time , na him go call you.

Dude! where in the world did you get your manners from We re talking about someone's father here and you are saying this bunkum

Pls try to be more civil, this is social media

You were not harsh just spoke ur mind. You dad is yet to come to terms with the fact that ur all grown up and can make ur own choices in life.
Controlling parents have this problem give him time and space he will come to terms with the change in the phase of life.

chii8:
My dear,op,thread jeje oo, most nigerian papa are like that ooo,travelled to see my father with my kids, this long vac, on the first night,I did midnight prayer,in the following morning my father rebuked me for not praying for one hour (in my mind, I was like shey this man dey count how many hours wey I take dey pray ni) throughput my stay with them, praying became difficult cos I will be feeling that someone is somewhere counting the number of hours I used in praying.

Why must you pray in a manner that someone in the next room hears you?

A wise man once said: "The words of our elders are the words of wisdom".

It's really a sad day to see someone threatening to cut off any communications with his own father simply because the old man strongly recommended that he prioritized worshipping his God. That's definitely NOT a bad suggestion, especially coming from your own father. But, hey, to each his own, you can go ahead and cut all communications with him. However, I will tell you this, if you carry out that threat, you'll regret it one day. Mark my words.


O pari

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

OP, i grew up in Deeper Life so i can relate. My own was so bad because the entire building had mostly Deeper Life members.
The coordinator lived in the building, My uncle was the head usher and my aunt was the woman coordinator. I was frustrated, I was summoned one time for buying hair relaxer to relax my hair. It was a serious matter then. I remember most of my friends fell out with their parents because they were overbearing. My father flogged me 7x7 times one day because he said i didn't read the Bible for a whole week. I feel you OP, just make him understand that you are now a family man and should also be respected.

God always like things done the right way not the way that seemeth right. If not, David would have been able to carry the ark of God home the 1st attempt, King Saul would have remained King after sparing the King and keeping the spoils. Obedient is better than sacrifice.

Note: I'm not disputing your suggestions in it's entirety.

missjane:
OP I wish I had a father like yours. You are blessed. I would give anything to be in your shoes. My father is a deeply occultic man and you can imagine the state of affairs in my family. I have prayed tirelessly for his repentance but it seems it's nothing is happening.. Pls every day u kneel to pray, thank God first that you have a father who is going to any lenght to make sure you make Heaven n bond with Jesus whether he is going about it the right way or not.

Those saying "Op i wish i had a father like yours", "You cut ties because of this" really know nothing about what the Op is trying to say. From experience, i believe the OP is putting it mildly. It is worse than he is saying it.

Mine has been my mother, woman is a fuc.k.i.ng extremist, I'm so tired of her I device ways to avoid her, can't stand her nonsense query anymore. My father is late and i have never for one day wished i had a father. Infact the whole parenthood is a farce since Nigerian parents use all shits like i bore you for 9months, i breastfed you, i paid this, i paid that, to hold you down and do things against your whole wish. Even as an adult when you try to make decisions on your own, they be like "So you now know more than me abi"?. Their thinking is archaic and they never put your own feelings into consideration.


No doubt some of you might have jolly parents out there but one thing is sure, I'll never wish to have a parent even as loving as yours.
PS: I love my mum, Reason why i still call her my mum and I'm stuck with her despite all.

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

@Op, I would advise you call your father ASAP! as this could create a serious dent on your wife's image

Also, try explaining yourself by not justifying your actions. Just let him know that you don't joke with your Christian faith......in a soft tone

Bless you!

@Beverly 1 . you won't know the essence of parenting until you become parent yourself.
Don't break the Cord just be diplomatic with him. No matter your status in life one's father or mother are too precious to ignore

cymontempler:
Blocking your Dad because he cares about your salvation is worrisome.

He expressed his concerns about your Christian life, not for himself but to avoid stories that touches the heart on judgment day.

Just simple question and you are flaring up... There is no way he can enforce any doctrine on you via phone.

Your action is that of a rebellious son. I will advice that you unblock him. Apologise for your behaviour and thank him for checking on your Heavenly race.

If he doesn't love you, He won't be bothered cause he knows its your life and you can live it the way you want.

Arrogant Child... That's what you are.

Ask those who don't have a Dad... Or Those whose Dad don't care about them. Then you will know why you should be grateful for his concerns.

Be Careful... Abroad is not the same as Heaven.

I can see you belong to those persons who use religion to control their children uv already passed judgement on op already.
Parents arent perfect.

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

Pick up your phone and call him..suppress your anger...swallow your pride..you have been managing him for years even when you lived together.. Apologize to him...let him realize you were wrong hanging up the phone on him. He is only over-protective and wants the best for you. You definitely know what is right for you but do it wisely and dont let anything come between you and your father. Remember he had strived and sacrificed a lot to make you who you are today. The only sacrifice you have to make now is to keep managing him and keep him happy.

correctguy0900:
Bro. U not alone. Sometimes is quite annoying the way those old school treat their children. I got asked those questions also, but u know how e dey be na. Na me go first quote Malachi, proceed to revelation, wen i will continue into Hosea through Samuel, na my mama go first change d topic. For my mind u don tire?

But she knows what'sup but she can't just help it because i have not appeared like someone against what she was saying. My papa na strong.... deeper lifer. I was like mumu while growing up. TV was unthinkable. But we all were patient till we left home due to school and all. We went rogue as we were not within his control and influence anymore. Na him taya. Call me and start to provoke old testament, me i go start how the Israelites cross the Red Sea. How fish carry Jona. e no hard.

At least not everyday so i believe is about been diplomatic. If ur dad says na bible matter, buy him old testament bible as a Christmas gift. Haha. My guy...... hmm

lol. Chairman, I hail.o

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders.

Parents are our gate way to heaven - You should find a way to convince him into trusting you, There are fathers/mothers who show there kids the way of crime; be glad yours is showing you the way of God...

frosbel2:
Deeperlife is the Boko Haram of Christianity , the only difference is that they use everlasting torture in liquid fire to threaten their deceived members into submission.

The amount of families this Cult has broken down are too many to mention.

Mr, watch ur tongue

Bro...i lost my father recently, and it was completely unexpected. The thing is we had not been communicating as often as we should have, and i must say that today i deeply regret it.

That your dad even picks up his phone to call you just to inquire about your welfare shows that he loves you, and in my humble opinion the reasons you listed above are not good enough to cut ties with him. Your short write-up points to the fact that he is a good dad(albeit a mild religious extremist), and not a bad one.

Please unblock him and call him, you do not want to have regrets tomorrow.

Bros, you don't even know you have more of your father in you. When you get older you will realize he was just being a father. I imagine myself with 4 children worried like hell about their future, their lifestyle and the this question, will i be a good dad? or will i live long to see them really grow old? As a father, you can't but help it to worry about your children and sometime you push hard. You cutting ties with him IS AN INDICATION THAT YOU have the capacity to push hard too. You are just your dad, you don't know it yet. Please talk to him now brother, Take it from someone who has lost his dad and can't find a father to relate too. You will live to regret this decision later.

Zeze06:



I don't support rebellion against parents except in matters of love, every other thing is a no for me, I can't rebel mumsy for anything... Although I can comfortably say this because she is very rational....

But also... Parents don't respect "ethical boundaries"... They love too much, protect too much and also react too much...

Adult children are super free to rebel against their parents when they become overbearing and too controlling. If you were married and your parent came to dictate what school your children were to attend would you just accede to their demands? OP's father was totally out of line. And while OP could have tactfully and respectfully handled the matter, I fault him not. Person wey dey for another country with wife and children? Come on.

The father will think twice about trying such stunts in the future with OP or his siblings.

���

moneyspeaking:
you children of now adays, parent will struggle so much on you. is this a good way to pay him back?
You would ve been happy if he asked you if you when last you worship satan?

think:
many people wish they still have parents but are here asking if you are over reacting?

have you ever noticed the reaction and mood of that your friend without father on the fathers day?

abegiiiii, cut all communication and stop the financial support too.... mthcw

We know your type; 10 cows for burial.

My friend! Don't be silly. Go and apologise to him before you get God to contend with. U will not celebrate an old man who looks after ur soul when majority in his shoe will be asking for dollars. U piss me off honestly, no insult intended.

So cos of this small thing u cutting ties? You'll become a dad someday too remember. Parents always go to the extremes but they mean no harm. You are just overeacting.